UchiSays: This is just a one shot crack fic that I felt like writing. Ginny has the imagination of a dedicated yaoi girl. I thought that was funny.
Pairings: Draco/Harry, Snape. Harry, George/Harry/Fred, Ron/Harry, implied Dean/Harry/Seamus, and Sirius/Harry
"Well, Mister Potter, I've seemed to have discovered the problem."
"What is it, it's nothing serious right? It's not life threatening is it?"
"No it's not that serious, you're just having a baby."
Harry walked through the Great Hall under the assault of points and whispers from the rest of the Hogwarts student body. He sighed and rolled his eyes, it seemed there was now another rumor circulating about him he wondered what it was this time.
He had just taken his seat at the Gryffindor table and was about to load his plate with food, when someone suddenly slammed into him from behind and wrapped him in their arms, "Oh Harry, tell me it's not true." Cho Chang cried, clinging on to Harry, "You're not really pregnant are you?"
Harry would have been choking if he'd had the time to put anything in his mouth, "What? Who told you that?" He demanded.
"Oh, Harry, everybody knows." Ginny Weasley said, taking a seat next to Harry, "It's all anyone is talking about."
"It's not true is it Harry?" Cho bawled, "Please tell me it's not true."
"That's none of your business." Harry growled standing up and leaving the Great Hall, he would have to have Dobby bring him some food later.
Ginny Weasley and Cho Chang watched Harry's retreat, "I think that was a yes." Ginny said.
Cho broke out sobbing, "Oh Harry, if you wanted a baby all you had to do was ask me. I would have been happy to have your child."
Ginny rolled her eyes at the annoying girl next to her, "Aren't you curious as to who the father is?" Ginny inquired watching as Harry nearly bumped into Draco Malfoy on his way out the door, only to blush a bright shade of red and continue his hasty retreat, "Hmm that has possibilities." She mumbled, easily picturing the situation in which Draco would be the father of Harry's child.
"Oh, Draco I love you so much." Harry said holding on to Draco as they lay together on the bed in the room of requirement.
"I love you too, Harry." Draco replied kissing the boy's lightening bolt shaped scar.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you Draco. If only we didn't have to keep our love a secret."
"I know Harry, but you must understand, I'm a Death Eater, you're the Savoir of the Wizarding world, a love between us could never be accepted."
"I understand Draco, but still…" Harry trailed off.
"Oh hush, my sweet green-eyed lion." Draco said, capturing Harry's lips in a possessive kiss.
"Mmm, Draco," Harry moaned, "Take me now, make love to me please."
Ginny shook her head, clearing the fantasy from it, "No that couldn't be it. Draco would sooner kill Harry than make love to him, or else it would have been rape.
Ginny left the Great Hall and headed towards the Gryffindor dorms. She was almost there when she heard a cruel voice, "Potter, you should no better than to be running in the halls." Professor Snape snapped, "Ten points from Gryffindor for carelessness."
"S-sorry, Professor," Harry stammered, Ginny could see his flustered appearance from where she was peeking around the corner. Harry was seated on the floor with Snape standing, the potions master dusting off his black robes.
"Well don't just sit there Potter, get up." Snape growled extending a hand to help the boy to his feet.
Ginny smirked, maybe…
"Potter, could you stay after class for a moment. We need to discuss your conduct in the lab."
Harry rolled his eyes and waved for Ron and Hermione to go on ahead of him. The moment the class was empty the young Gryffindor made his way over to the teacher's desk, "You wanted to speak with me, Professor."
"Yes, Potter I did." Professor Snape stood and walked around his desk so that he was standing in front of Harry, "I must say, you behavior in the Potion's Lab is down right horrendous. You really should learn some self control; you're a distraction to your peers."
"But I didn't do anything."
"Really, so sitting there, looking good enough to eat isn't a distraction. You deserve to be punished just for looking so cute."
"What kind of punishment did you have in mind, Professor?"
"I'm sure I could come up with something." Snape whispered huskily, before his lips pressed hungrily against Harry's.
Ginny was more than a little disgusted by that thought, sure Harry and Snape would be cute together, but Snape hated Harry with a burning passion, and she trusted Harry to have better taste than some greasy old git of a potions master like Severus. Besides, Professor Snape could never be so playful.
Ginny continued on her way towards the Gryffindor dorms, only to stop when she so Fred and George pop up out of no where and both throw arms around Harry, "Hi ya, Harry." They said in unison.
Harry smiled up at the two of them, "Hey Fred, George." He seemed to be able to easily tell the two of them apart.
Curious, very curious, Ginny thought, the scenario playing through her head.
Harry thought he was the last one left in the Quidditch changing rooms, for he had heard the door opening and closing and the chatter of his teammates disappearing. He didn't bother to look and see if that was true; as he was too busy washing his hair under the spray of the showers. He was completely caught off guard as two long arms snaked around his waist and he was pulled against a strong chest, his neck all ready being ravished by eager lips.
"Mmm, George," Harry moaned, tilting his head to allow the other boy better access to his slender neck. George's hands began to drift lower down Harry's body causing the younger boy moan yet again.
"Hey, no fair George," A voice called from behind him, "You can't keep Harry all to yourself."
Harry smirked, "Come on Fred, there's enough of me to go around."
Ginny eyes widened and she didn't even want to complete that fantasy. Sure Fred and George were hot, but she jut couldn't see her older brothers being with Harry, besides both of them had girlfriends. It had to be someone else.
Ginny walked through the portrait hole a few minutes after Harry and the twins had. She looked around the common room and found Harry sitting alone with Ron. Well he was obviously an option. The two of them were very close, and Harry did seem displeased when he watched Ron flirt with other girls. Why couldn't it have been Ron, it would work out so easily.
It was the dead of night and all the boys in the Dorm Room were fast asleep, or so it seemed. Ron climbed out of his bed, and pulled back the hangings around his best friend's bed. Harry was wide awake, lying on top of his sheets, his green eyes fixed on Ron, as if he had been waiting for this visit. Ron smirked and crawled into the bed; Harry raised his wand and cast a quick silencing charm…
Ginny was pulled from her fantasies by the sight of Hermione sitting down next to Ron, and the red head immediately beginning to blush. How could she have forgotten, Ron was head over heels for Hermione. He would never fall for Harry. As Ginny stood there, still trying to figure out who it could have been that got Harry pregnant, the Potter disappeared up to his dorm room, only to reappear a moment later, laughing with Seamus and Dean. She didn't even have the chance to begin a fantasy on this scenario, before Harry waved the two away and headed out of the portrait hole. Ginny instantly followed.
Harry was heading up to the owlery, Ginny on his heels. As he went up to the room where all the owls were kept, his snow white ole Hedwig flew down and landed on his shoulder.
"I know this may a bit much for you girl, but could you take this letter to Padfoot for me?"
Padfoot, aw of course, if who ever it was that got Harry pregnant wasn't here at Hogwarts, then it had to be someone else they knew outside of school or in the Order of the Phoenix. Why hadn't she thought about Sirius, it was so obvious?
The members of the Order had all turned in for the night, but Harry couldn't sleep. Instead he set in the drawing room sipping a cup of tea, "You have a bad dream, cub?" a voice asked from behind him.
Harry shook his head without looking up, "You have to sleep in order to have bad dreams," He stated, "And I just can't seem to do that."
"Want me to help you?" Sirius asked, Harry looked up and found his God Father kneeling on the floor in front of him.
"Ginny what are you doing here?" Ginny was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Harry's inquiring voice.
The Weasley girl looked up and blushed, "I was just, um wondering, who is the father of your baby." She replied honestly.
Harry growled, "When I find who ever it is that started that stupid rumor, I'm going to curse them into oblivion."
Ginny shrugged, "Are you going to tell me who the father is or not?"
Harry rolled his eyes, "Ginny I'm not the one that's having a baby, Hedwig is."
UchiSays: I guess that tells you, if you want to eavesdrop get your fact right. XD No idea why I thought this story was so funny. But I did.
You've read, now please review.