We meet again! Okay, so, I made sure I made this one-shot as long as I could cause you guys deserve it:)
And yes, actually, many of the events in this story are from personal experiences:) Hope you enjoy.
I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks
One-Shot # 11-Wedding Crashers
"Cut, cut, CUT!"
The sound of a piano's notes cutting off loudly filled the sancuary of the large church. Everyone winced and cringed at the sharp sound before groaning as an even higher pitched and annoying sound filled their ears.
Alvin jumped down from the massive wooden pulpit that had a cross ingraved on the front. He held a toy megaphone that had a built in microphone to his mouth and yelled, "If we have to do this wedding rehersal over one more time I swere I'll cut everyone in here!"
"Alvin, we're in a church," Simon hissed from the other side of the pulpit, helping Theodore hold up the pillow which would hold with wedding rings on. "You can't cut someone in a church! It's just wrong!" Theodore nodded in agreement, unable to say anything on account of trying hard not to drop the large thick pillow.
"Well whatever. From the top, people!"
Everyone moaned and walked back to the starting points from the doors in the front of the church. Alvin jumped back onto the pulpit, tapping his foot impatiently.
Toby strolled up beside him, sighing and leaning up against the pulpit, glancing at the wide bright ceiling and balcony's. "I have to say," He said, craining his head back to take in all the details of the beautiful crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling. "You munks did pretty impressive with the church choice."
Alvin shrugged. "Actually the chipettes picked it out," He said, looking over at three seething female chipmunks stomping over to the doors once again, flower petals in their hands being squished. Alvin could have sworn he saw Brittany turn red with steam coming from her ears. "I said we should just send them to Vegas to a drive-thru chapel."
"Yeah, cause that's totally every girl's dream to get married in Vegas," Toby said dryly.
"That's what Claire said!" Alvin gasped, not remembering that the woman was being sarcastic when she had said that. He held up the megaphone and commanded, "Alright people, let's take it from the top!" He nodded at Julie, (Toby's crush and/or co-worker at Geek Squad) who began playing Wedding March.
As the song started Dave sighed heavily, rocking back and forth on his heels, his hands behind his back as he waited for Claire to make her long way up the isle. He had to admit the chipettes looked adorable as they dropped (More like threw) flower petals down the isle.
Claire was far to impatient and annoyed to walk one step then pause, so she just walked casually up the isle, daring Alvin to say anything. He almost did, but Toby threw a candle stick in his direction to shut him up.
As soon as Claire made her way to Dave, the bridesmaides and groomsmen walked up the isle. Most of them were crew members and Claire's co-workers.
The preacher, dressed casually in jeans and a button-up shirt, smiled, pleased that they had gotten this far through the rehearsal. The man nodded and Julie to stop playing, then cleared his throat. He held his Bible to his chest as he started.
"Dearly beloved," He started, carefully glancing at Alvin, waiting for him to stop him. "We are gathered here today to join this man," He looked at Dave. "And this woman." He turned to Claire, who was smiling patiently.
Alvin rubbed his chin and saw an error. He went to grab his megaphone. He turned it on and said, "CU-omph!"
Alvin rolled off the pulpit and onto the floor. When he came back to reality and stopped seeing stars, he looked up to see Brittany. She had tackled him.
"Shut. Up!" She commanded in a whisper, getting off of him and whipping her clothes off. She stuck her nose in the air and trotted off next to her sister's and his brother's who were snickering.
"Dave, do you take Claire to be your wedded wife?"
"Yep," Dave said. The preacher gave him a disaproving look. "I mean, I do." He chuckled nervously.
"And Claire, do you take Dave to be your wedded husband?"
The preacher smiled in triumph. "And with that said, you may-"
Without warning the french double doors to the chuch busted open, making everyone grow silent and a few people jump. A slim form stood in the doorway, dressed in pink and black zebra stripped skinny jeans and a faded pink Chipette shirt.
"Is that the caterer?" Someone muttered in disbelief.
No one could tell who it was because the wedding menu was hiding their face. "What the crap is this?!" The menu moved to reveal the face of an angry Padamay. "Lickerish for the reception? Are you serious?! I know Theodore and Eleanor didn't approve of this. Alvin, it must have been Alvin who desided that...I mean honestly-"
Padamay cut her own ranting off as she saw everyone's face go red. "Oh," She said with a wince. "I'll just uh...come back later." She laughed nervously before running out of the church so fast their was practically a smoke trail behind her.
Alvin growled and snatched his megaphone from the floor. He had enough for one day. "That's a rap people! Let's take it home!"
The church was cleared in a matter of seconds.
Bridal Store (One week beforet the wedding)
"I can't believe you waited a week before your own wedding to get your dress, Claire," Brittany said. "If it were my wedding, I would have gotten my dress practically a year before the actual wedding!"
"Well," Claire sighed, scanning over the many gowns. "They're just all so beautiful, I really couldn't deside."
"If your trying to impress Dave with a dress," Simon said, tapping the glass sealing off many flower bouquets. "You don't really have to. He's wearing his old prom suit."
Claire gave him a look. "Who exactly did he take to the prom? Is she coming to the wedding?"
"Well, yes," Theodore said trying not to laugh as well. "But I don't think you'll have to worry. It was his cousin, Cherry."
Alvin didn't even bother to hide his howls of laughter that echoed through the store.
"Would you keep it down out there?" Padamay yelled through the dressing room door. "You sound like a Chuckie doll that's been sucking up helium!" She stepped out of the changing room, wearing a short brown silk dress with one strap.
Eleanor gasped with a smile. "You look gorgeous, Padamay!"
Padamay smiled brightly. "Thanks, Ellie," She looked down at the dress then gave Claire a look of sympathy. "But this is the only one that's in stock."
"So?" Alvin said.
"Bridesmaid's and the Maid oh Honor are supposed to dress alike, Alvin," Jeanette explained to him.
"Oh," He shrugged.
Claire moaned heavily, dropping into the nearest seat and putting her head in her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do," She said, her voice muffled by her hands. "Everything seems to be going wrong..."
"Aw," Brittany said, jumping onto Claire's shoulder with her sister's and brushing some hair out of the woman's face. "Don't worry, Auntie Claire. Everything will work out, you'll see. You just have to keep trying."
Alvin said, "Why don't you ever baby me like that?"
"Because you already act like a baby," Brittany replied with a roll of her eyes before turning back to Claire.
Padamay patted her back, saying, "What about your mother's dress? You said that was always your dream wedding gown."
"It is," Claire replied. "But my sister has it. She lives in Burbank and is far to busy to come to the wedding or send it."
All three chipmunks brother's heard this. Their ears perked up as they all shared a slow glance. They turned to the chipettes and Padamay who nodded, understand the unspoken plan.
"Claire, don't you worry," Padamay said. "I tell you what. The 'ettes and I will take care of the dress delima, and you just go look at flowers. Okay?"
"Flowers," Claire repeated, nodding as she stood up. "Yeah, I'll just look at the pretty flowers." Padamay nodded, walking with her over to the shiny glass tanks filled with roses.
The six chipmunks all huddled together, much like a football team would. "Okay, we've got seven days until the wedding," Simon said. "Which means if we called Claire's sister right now and if she shipped it through over night express then it would come in by-"
"Tomorrow!" Alvin said. He laughed. "I can do math!"
"But that's only if her sister will ship the dress," Jeanette said. "Remember Claire said her sister was to busy to send it?"
"That's right," Brittany said, scratching her chin. "We need a way to convense her that we need that dress now."
No one came up with anything. But then Alvin said, "I say blackmail. All in favor?" He raised his hand, his and his only.
"I'd prefer not to be on an episode of COPS for blackmail at our dad's wedding, Alvin," Simon muttered. "Let's just try to call Claire's sister and see what happens."
Suddenly Eleanor gasped. "We should make it a suprise!" Her sister's nodded in agreement. "Yeah, cause she's been feeling down about a dress and all!" Jeanette said. "All in favor?" Brittany said, raising her hand.
Everyone raised their hand exept for Alvin. He grumbled and lifted his hand, making Brittany smirk.
Chipmunk Residence (One day before wedding)
"Ugh, this is INSANE!" Alvin yelled, throwing the phone on the kitchen table. "What could that chick be doing?" He wondered.
"What's all your ranting about?" Eleanor asked, patting her paws to get the flour off of them. "Claire's sister," Alvin clarified, walking over next to Brittany and studying the cook book in front of her. "She won't answer her phone for anything. See, I told you we should have used blackmail!"
"If she's not answering the phone then how will she know your blackmailing her, Alvin?" Simon said as he jumped on the counter holding a tube of icing. Alvin just scowled.
He gazed over at Theodore who was placing more batter into a pan. "Uh, Theo, how big is this cake supposed to be?"
"Oh, you know," Theodore laughed shakily. "Couple feet." He said quietly.
"I have an idea," Julie said from the fridge as she pulled her hair from it's ponytail and whipped some icing off her face. "Sense we only have twenty four hours until the wedding, how about me and Toby go get the dress in person?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Toby said from the corner of the kitchen, pausing his PSP game. "No way, I'm the best man!" He placed a hand on his heart dramatically. "I have to be here."
"Oh cut the crap, Toby," Padamay said, cross legged on the kitchen floor with Brittany as she laced icing ribbons onto the first layer of the cake. "Just because you get bored after being in a car for more than two seconds doesn't mean you can't go with Jules. Plus you haven't really helped a lot."
"I'm the best man! That's a tough enough job by itself!"
"YOUR GETTING PAID!" Everyone reminded him.
"You know what, don't worry about him," Julie said, grabbing her purse and snatching Toby's key's from the table. "If he complains I'll drop him off at the nearest zoo. He'll fit right in."
Toby gave her a look of betrayal before she snatched him by his collar and dragged him out the door.
Padamay chuckled. "Keeps him on a tighter leash then mom does," She observed as she laced out another pattern.
(Day of wedding)
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Dave groaned and rolled over, hiding his face in the pillows. When that didn't help muffle the noise, he desided to get up and cut the alarm off. Being careful not to stab his hand with the pencils standing up in the cup beside the clock, he shut it off and sat up.
The sun wasn't even up yet. Why had he set the alarm so early...?
"Oh yeah," He yawned half laughing. "I'm getting married today." He stretched and rubbed the back of his neck.
Then it hit him.
His eyes got wide as he yelled, "OH MY GOD!" Quicker than he thought he could, he jumped out of the bed and started running around the house. Millions of things to do went through his mind. Make coffee, go to the bathroom, (Not at the same time) check on the munks.
The munks. What if they were already at the church?!
Dave whirled into the kitchen, sliding down and falling on the slik floor. He grunted as he landed on his stomach and studied the kitchen tiles. What that...icing?
He slowly looked up at the kitchen table. There sat the biggest cake he had ever seen in his life. It was so big it would probably weigh as much as a small child and meet him at his stomach.
"Oh...my...God..." He said as he slowly stood up. The entire kitchen looked like a demolistion zone. Pots, pans, knives, and empty containers were spread out around the room.
His heart rate then spead up. Where were the munks?
"Alvin," He called quietly. "Simon?" Nothing. "Theo?" Still nothing. His breathing quickened. "ANYONE?"
"Uggggh," Many voices at once groaned. Theodore and Eleanor's head's appeared under a pan that was flipped upside down. Simon was hanging from a pot that was hanging up on a wrack above the counter. Jeanette was on top of the pan, snuggled around the handle.
Brittany suddenly showed up from the other side of the counter, crawling up it like a cliff. Her eyes were groggy, her fur plastered with icing. Padamay then crawled her way to a sitting up position, looking around.
"What happened?" She muttered, twisting her head this way and that. "Did someone give Alvin a Red Bull and we had to tie him down all night again?"
Speaking of Alvin...
"Let me out!"
Dave looked down at the drawer in front of him. He slowly opened it, and as soon as he did he got a face full of chipmunk.
"ALVIN! Get off!" He commanded, prying his son off his face. "Sorry Dave," Alvin said sheepishly, rubbing his eyes. Dave grumbled and sat him down on the counter.
"Wow," He said, gazing at the cake. "That's...really impressive guys. What flavor is it?"
"." He heard all at once.
"It's a...special flavor," Eleanor said, half laughing.
"You don't even know, do you?"
"No, not really." She admitted.
Dave looked around. "Uh, guys," He muttered. "Where's Toby?" Padamay's eyes got wide. "Oh no," She hissed, tripping and stumbling towards the phone. Dave suddenly looked worried. "Dave," She said, pointing at him. "Don't you worry. Just go take a shower and get your tux on, alright? I'll make breakfast."
Dave gave her a look before nodding slowly and backing away slowly towards the bathroom.
"So what's for breakfast, Pad?" Theodore asked, rubbing his belly.
"Cake batter," She muttered, rubbing her forehead starting to panic. "Hello?" Julie answered. "Jules," Padamay said. "Where are you?"
She sighed over the line. "I'm sorry, Padamay. But this woman's hard to find! We found the address she worked at but she wasn't there. And we couldn't find her house."
Padamay groaned. "Did Toby try to break into the job files?" She asked. "Yes, and I had to pay for his bail," Julie hissed. Padamay knew she was glaring at Toby.
"Okay, this is great," Alvin said, clapping his hands once. "We have a wedding in four hours. No dress. No best man-"
"I'll do it!" Theodore and Simon volunteered, raising their hands quickly. "You going to find a dress?" Brittany asked, crossing her arms. They slowly let their hands fall. "Thought so."
"Don't worry, Padamay. We'll get there on time. Just get everything else ready, okay?" The teen nodded. "Okay. Call me if...when...you know something."
Padamay hung up the phone, placing her head in her hands before taking a deep breath. She looked at Alvin. "Alvinator, you got a plan?"
Everyone turned to the red hooded munk. "Psh!" He said. "Duh, I have a plan! And I've been dieing to say it!" He quickly thought of a plan before smiling. Everyone leaned in.
"Alright, technically Claire thinks we have the dress problem solved already, right?" Everyone nodded. "So she's not going to know we don't have it. Neither does Dave."
"What are you saying?"
"All we have to do is stall until Toby and Julie get back with the dress. Just stall and stall and stall."
"You think we can stall long enough for them to get back in Los Angels in time for the wedding?" Jeanette asked.
Alvin laughed, waving a hand in dismay. "We're six singing chipmunks and a teenage girl who speaks every random thought that pops into her head. We can stall."
"Or bore," Simon mumered.
Burbank, California (Three hours before wedding)
"Toby, your a genius!" Julie praised as Toby smirked proudly. "Yep, that I am," He said, flipping through the pages of the thick book in his lap. "Who would have thought to just look for this chick's last name in the address book?"
He scrolled down the lines with his finger, then nodded. "Okay, I got it. It's a few blocks away." He pointed towards his car. "To the TOBSTER!"
Julie stared at him. "You named your car?" Toby looked down. "Well, Padamay made it seem cool...so..." He sighed heavily. "I'll rename it later, now..." He cleared his throat. "To. The. TOBSTER!" He ran enthusiastically towards the car while Julie pretended like she didn't know him.
It was amazing Julie didn't get a speeding ticket by the way she was driving. Fast and Furious doesn't have anything on her, Toby thought, clutching the seat.
They both ran up the driveway to an average looking white house. Quickly Toby pushed the doorbell several times repeating, "C'mon, c'mon," Over and over.
A woman practically identical to Claire answered the door. Her eyes were hazel and she had short hair. That was pretty much the only difference.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
Toby was about to blurt out something like, 'Can you help us?!' but Julie stopped him by stepping on his foot.
"Hi," She smiled tightly. "Uh, we're here to pick something up."
"Oh?" The woman raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Julia said. "Your mother's wedding dress? Claire would like to have it back." The lady smiled. "Oh!" She said. "Why didn't you say so?"
The woman quickly returned with a big white box. "There you go," She said. "Thanks," Julie laughed, handing Toby the box. "If you don't mind me asking, why didn't you answer your phone?"
She looked at her with an odd expression. "My phone? Why it hasn't rang all week!" Toby glanced at Julie nervously. "Are you sure you got the right address?" Julie muttered.
"Ah!" The woman said. "I see the problem!" She pointed at her phone as she walked over to it. The plug was pulled out of the wall. The moment she did, the female monotone voice said, "You have two-hundred new messages." Toby and Julie's faces dropped as they slapped their foreheads.
Before she could question them, the car was already started and going down the street. "We'll send you some cake!" Toby waved. "Well probably not, but thanks anyway!"
Church (Ten minuet's before wedding)
Simon rolled his eyes at his dad. "Don't worry Dave, everything's going to be fine." He looked at Alvin, who was checking himself in the mirror.
"Dude," He laughed, fixing the collar of the mini tux. "I look like James Bond!"
"Sure Al, sure," Brittany said, tighting his collar so tight his breath hissed. The chipettes were all dressed in pink little dresses Padamay had gotten from Petsmart.
"Oh, thank God," Said teen rejoiced as she walked into the dressing room holding a phone. She wore a black and pink dress that was long and spikey at the end with no straps and was knotted in a zig-zag pattern in the front.
It wasn't the most traditional dress for a wedding.
She stumbled a few times in her black heels, making her growl and curse her shoes.
"Okay...okay...well then, hurry!" She hung up and announced, "Julie and Toby got the dress. That's the good news."
"What's the bad news?" Theodore asked.
"Their in a traffic jam."
Everyone groaned loudly. Dave turned around from the mirror. "Guys, is something wrong?"
"NOTHING!" Everyone screamed, making him jump. "I mean, uh," Padamay cleared her throat. "I was just getting the chipmunks and chipettes to...help me...uh..." She looked down at her heels. "Shine shoes!"
"Shine shoes?" Brittany mouthed.
"Yep," Simon played along, backing towards the door. "We're going to go shine some shoes. So...yeah." Everyone bailed at the same time, leaving Dave alone to talk to himself.
"Seven minuet's," Padamay said, checking her Miney Mouse watch. "Okay," Alvin said, running a hand over his head. "This is what we need to do." He turned to Jeanette. "Jean, you stall Claire. Go have a girl to girl talk or something, those take forever don't they?"
"That they do," Jeanette said, scurring down the hallway. "Ellie," Alvin said. "You stall Dave."
"On it!" She said as she went the opposite direction of Jeanette.
"Alright, Brittany, you wait for Toby and Julie outside."
"Why do I have to-"
"Please?" He begged with puppy dog eyes. "Ugh, fine," She stomped towards the doors. Alvin turned to his brother's and Padamay. "Now it's up to us to stall everyone else."
"Dude, do you realize we have like three hundred people out there? Press and paparazzi galore!" Simon said.
"Look, this'll be easy. We can be like wedding crashers or something." Alvin said. "I mean, we've crashed pretty much everything else!"
"You have crashed pretty much everything, Alvin," Theodore said flatly.
"Guys, c'mon, it's time," Padamay said, nudging them towards the french doors. They didn't realize that Wedding March had already began to play.
As they opened the doors everyone stood and turned. Camara's and eyes all stared them down.
"Oh munk," Padamay whispered.
Alvin cleared his throat. "Uh...H-Hey, everyone." No reply. He laughed quietly, walking up the isle with his brothers. "Hey, hi there," He greeted nervously. "Having fun? Yeah? Me too."
Padamay shooed away the substitute pianoist and sat down. She nodded slowly at Alvin. Alvin nodded back, jumping onto the pulpit with Simon and Theodore. The preacher, now dressed in heavy robes hissed, "Alvin, what are you-"
"People of the church," Alvin said loudly into the microphone placed on top of the pulpit. "We are gathered today to join two people in holy matrimony. What is that, you ask?"
Simon coughed. "Holy matrimony is a way to describe a bonding of two people forever. It is also a film from the 40's staring..."
After Simon had describe every meaning of holy matrimony a good five minuet's had gone by. "Now church," Alvin said, walking back and forth on the pulpit. "I want to ask you. What is love? No answer? That's right. Cause no one can describe the ultimate power of love!"
Padamay played high notes on the piano for affect.
"What is love?" He repeated, glancing at Simon.
"Love is a strong attachment to something that grows fonder than any other. It is an emotion of strong affection. Love is a chemical balance of attatchement, attraction..."
Soon enough the munks were singing every love song they could think of. And, surprisingly, it got everyone pumped up. Everybody was standing up, clapping, singing and dancing in the isles.
Alvin saw two stiluettes rushing toward the foggy glass doors with a tiny one following. The doors burst open and banged against the wall loudly, making everything grow quiet.
"STOP THE WEDDING!" Toby yelled, pointing towards the alter. Everyone gasped, mummers of question filled the room. Toby's cheeks turned red as Julie pushed him towards the alter. She gave a thumbs up to Alvin.
"We got green," Alvin said, jumping down and walking up to Toby. He noted the tux. "Do you know how uncomfortable it is to change into a tux at a truck stop?" Toby whispered, eyes wide. "It isn't fun!"
"That's wonderful, Toby," Padamay said, pushing passed him and wobbling towards Claire's dressing room.
Ten minuet's later, everything fell into palce. The wedding went off without a hit. Nothing went wrong, Claire's dress looked beautiful, all was peaceful.
Until the reception.
"The chipmunks and chipettes!" The DJ announced, presenting the band. Everyone automadically started to dance. Padamay danced with Dave who just bobbed on his feet while she completly owned the song.
"So, not to bad for a munkified wedding, huh?" Padamay said as she twirled around on barefeet, eating a huge peice of cake she held with one hand.
Dave sighed. "Na, I guess not. Minus the fact Claire didn't have her dress until the last minuet and I had to pay Toby to be my best man."
Padamay laughed, snapping her fingers and shrugging. "Well, you got to admit. No one's ever had a wedding like this one before."
"That I can agree with."
After the preformance it was time for Claire and Dave to leave. Dave hugged all his boys tightly, making them promise they would listen to Padamay and Toby's mom while he was gone. Alvin waved him off saying with an evil smirk, 'We'll be perfect little angels.'
As Dave made his way over to the car, which Claire was already inside, Alvin called, "Hey Dave!" The man turned around to a smirking Alvin. "ATTACK!" He yelled.
Dave was attacked with pounds of silly string that covered him and the car. It shot in his eyes, mouth and got under his clothes. It felt like having to dig a hole through all the string as he got in the door.
Toby tossed his can aside, watching the car zoom off. He squinted harder at it. "Hey," He said alarmed, pointing. "Is...is that my car?! That's my car! That's-" He ran after it, waving his arms and yelling frantically as the cans hanging off the 'JUST MARRIED' sign dangled loudly.
Julie smiled. Alvin's eyes got wide. "You did that?" He laughed as she shrugged. "Hey, he complained the car didn't go fast enough, so I was just proving his point."
"And I thought you were a good girl."
"Good girl's are just bad girl's who don't get caught, honey." She told him.
Dave glared through the silly string blocking his vision and windshield. "I knew we should have gone to Vegas." He grumbled.
Ah, gotta love a wedding 3
Haha, so what'd you think? I spent all day working on it. I think this is probably my fave one-shot so far:)
Hope you liked. Please review:P
Up Next: Padamay brings home a new pet.