Rockman's Epic Journey of Mass Destruction!
Don't kill me, George Bush.
PROTOMAN IS BENEFICIAL
"Shit, I think we killed him again", a random voice.
"Killed who?" another random voice.
"Beats me. Let's just get some Pizza Hut", voice one replies.
Woops, wrong story. Sorry about that.
WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEOOO! "DOCTAH LIGHT! AWAKEN ROCKMAN, THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM!" says Roll. "Shut up. Protoman is more ultimate than he will ever be", says Dr. Light, pulling out a shotgun and blowing the crap out of Roll. Dr. Light then turns to a table with nothing but a big red button which says "PUSH ME TO WATCH SOME PORN". Then, he turns to another table with a big white button that says "ROCKMAN". He pushes it and a bunch of random porn magazines come out. "Wrong button!" Wtf? Dr. Light then pushes the other button and Rockman explodes, wiping out Dr. Light's almost afro. Then, in a sudden moment, ROCKMAN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE ALIVE AND UNHARMED. A cup of coffee materializes out of thin air into Dr. Light's hand so he can sip it, making him look cooler. "Rockman... the time has come... your true purpose in this world... BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CUTMAN IN ROCK PAPER SCISSORS." Then, in a milli- second, Dr. Light makes a robot dog which can do anything. "I'm gonna call him rush because I made him in a rush, meaning that it could blow up any second." Without a word, Rockman kablooes out of the tiny lab, causing a massive explosion along with a huge oil leak splurting out, drowning Dr. Light and Roll's corpse in a flash. Then they reappeared outside the building. Too bad Dr. Light forgot to put in Rockman's chip for common sense. Hell, too bad I'm too lazy to put any effort into this story. So off Rockman goes, to Cutman's house on his flying sidekick. But then something hit him on his noggin and Rockman caught it as it was about to fall off. It looked like some.. robot. Yeah, a robot. Because, you know, Robots make beep sounds. ) "WHAT THE SHIT" Rockman cried out. "My name is beat!" said the robot. "Do I look like I freaking care?" said Rockman, who then kicked his ass off to pluto. So off he went, to Cutman's house. But first, he had some other business to do. It looked like Rush was almost out of fuel. Jeez, he only flew for 25 seconds. So he landed at some gas station called 'Fill 'er Up'. He looked for a place to insert the tube in, but it seemed like there was no hole in Rush for him to put gas. At this point, after all Rockman had been through, he got extremely frustrated. He sold Rush to some guy who collects... collectables. Rockman told him Rush was the first model of Godzilla. Then, Generic Guy 1 stood there, doing nothing. Yeah, he didn't even give him any cash.
"Hey! Make him give me some cash or I'll beat the SHIT out of him!" yelled Rockman, towards the sky.
Bird poop fell on his head. And caused him to suffer from a BRAIN DISEASE.
BRAIN DISEASE BRRRAIIINNN BRRAIIN DISEASSEEEE STFU!
Anyways, Rockman walked for days, in attempt to reach Cutman's house, which is located About 1 yard away from Dr. Light's. Wait a minute. Let's change that.
Over 9000 km away from Dr. Light's. But really, it's just a state away. No biggie. Now, let's rejoin Rockman in his quest to beat the shit out of cutman. "Gah.. it's so hot out here. I'm burning up", groaned Rockman, whipping out a kettle of cold water out of nowhere. "Ah, that's better", he claimed. "I'm gonna need a chopper as well." Out of nowhere, a huge motorcycle about 3x Rockman's size with a seat just right flings onto earth from outerspace at such a speed, 90% of the area had been destroyed. Then everything reappeared. Because games just work like that. Shut up, ok?
*EPIC DRAMATIC SCENE START*
Rockman lifted his left robotic foot up, and then started walking really dramatically.
*EPIC DRAMATIC SCENE END*
Then, out of nowhere, this total wierdo came out of.. nowhere.. and started following him around everywhere he went. Let's call him "Adoring Fan". "Hey! You're like totally AWESOME! I love your games! OMG! But you know what was totally better? Your games! Hee! Hoo haa hee hee hoo! HA! Hee! Can I have your autograph? Can I? Huh? Ca-" "Hey! GTFO! Thanks!"
Aww, Rockman, you're no fun!
"What, and you are?"
"I know what you are, but what am I?"
"Well that back fired".
Next chapter: Rockman's epic journey to a fanboy's house!