Disclaimer: this story is based on The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, and Unfinished Tales, all of which are written by JRR Tolkien. I am writing this purely for fun, and make no money from it whatever.

Chapter One: An Unexpected Assignment

Celebrimbor was sitting quietly in a corner in the Halls of Mandos when someone greeted him. He looked around and then realized that Lord Namo Mandos was standing right in front of him.

"Hello my Lord," said Celebrimbor cautiously, floating up from the floor. "I'm still not ready to go back yet, if that's what you're asking." Celebrimbor frowned as he realized how ungrateful that sounded. "I'd just create another mess," he tried to explain.

Lord Namo cut him off. "Actually, I was here with an entirely different proposition - if you are willing to listen before you start arguing."

"Yes, Lord Namo," Celebrimbor replied.

"Sauron is causing trouble again, and while we have sent aid there is a high chance that he will win."

Celebrimbor nodded.

"The people fighting against him have a plan that may work, but they need all the help they can get. In particular, they need Sauron distracted. While we most definitely would not ask you to return in body to fight Sauron, I thought you might be willing to return as a fea with poltergeist abilities to annoy and distract him as much as possible. He would not be able to harm you in any way, but the knowledge you gained about him last time ought to let you know how to annoy him best. Once the war is over, for good or for ill, you would return here. You don't have to answer now, but we need an answer soon. Events are moving quickly."

A chance to help fix the mess I helped create, and a chance to get back at Sauron... "You don't need to wait: I'll do it." said Celebrimbor.

"Excellent," said Lord Namo, smiling.

Just then, another disembodied fea glided up to them. "I'd like to join you if I might," said Gil-galad. "I have more recent knowledge of Sauron than Celebrimbor does, as well as more knowledge of Mordor, the Kingdoms of Men, and the Ringwraiths working for Sauron."

It was Lord Namo's turn to look surprised. "I thought you liked the peace and quiet here. You were pleading with us not to re-embody you soon the last time I looked."

"Nobody can make me King if I'm not physically there. I had intended to get rid of Sauron and I've always been disappointed that I didn't manage to finish the job. I also left a lot of people behind who are probably in danger from him now. Surely Barad-dur is large enough for two people causing trouble at the same time."

"I wouldn't mind the help," said Celebrimbor. "By all accounts Gil-galad has managed to annoy him far more than I ever did."

Slowly, Lord Namo nodded. "However, no more people may be added to this expedition. And kindly remember that you are there to cause a distraction. You are not there to win the war for the living - you are just there to give them a chance to win it." He looked sternly at them and then continued when they both nodded.

"Before I send you out, I will give you three rules that will be obeyed or you will be brought back.

One: you are not to directly attempt to kill Sauron or his henchman.

Two: your poltergeist abilities to carry things will be limited to 2 pounds each.

Three: you will endeavor to avoid harm to prisoners and other innocents.

Any questions or comments before you leave?"

"Of course we would avoid harm to prisoners!" said Celebrimbor.

"In addition to being a poltergeist, if you so wish you can enter Sauron's dreams or cause him to see you and hear you. No one else will be able to do so, and he can only see you if you wish it. Is there anything else you want to know?"

Celebrimbor looked at Gil-galad, who smiled and then looked back at Lord Namo.

"When can we leave?" Gil-galad asked.

Lord Namo smiled at them, and they vanished from that place.