Hey Everyone! I'm trying something new, and I hope it works. This story takes place during "Sticky Wicket Newkirk" or "Gretel und die Männer". (Which is why some lines may seem a little different as you come across them.) It is following Hogan's other men, rather then our usual Fave Five. Let me know what you think! (And if this worked, or if "this was incredibly dumb, Lizzi, what were you thinking, spinnst du?" lol)

I don't own the Show, in German OR English. I don't own the Characters (except for the ones I created), and I don't take credit for the direct quotes from Hogan's Heroes or Ein Käfig Voller Helden.

This is not a Mary Sue. Please Read and Review!!! :D

***UPDATE*** An apology to Corporal Peter Newkirk: Dear Sir. Please forgive me for assigning you a previously too harsh of punishment. It was not my intent to drive you possibly 'round the bend, but rather teach you an important lesson about why the Colonel had instigated such high of security policies. However, be that as it may, I see now I was too harsh. And I herby have revoked some of said pervious punishments. I hope we can come to an understanding may settle our differences here. (I have heard the stories of my fellow authors about the trial AND how they were your own personal…"guests." And while it would be great to meet you…I'd rather it be over tea in London.) I hope this letter finds you well. Please forgive me, yours, Lizzi

Everyman in camp was on edge. Corporal Peter Newkirk was on a mission to try and find out what happened to the men who broke out of Stalag 6. In barracks 2, the men couldn't sleep, not only because Colonel Hogan insisted on always leaving the light on when one of his men was out on a mission, but because they always knew something could happen to one of their colonel's main team.

One of the men, Corporal John Doe, whose bunk was closest to the Colonel Hogan's office, could hear him pacing, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. The steady pace should have easily put him to sleep, but the fact he both knew that Newkirk was overdue, and the fact that his CO wasn't getting any sleep, he continued to stare at the ceiling.

On the other side of the room, Private Bobby Smith pulled his covers over his face. Why does the Colonel always leave the light on? We always get it trouble for leaving it on, and it makes it difficult to sleep. I hope Newkirk hurries up and gets back here before it's time for roll call, and I have to go work in the tunnels with no sleep.


However for the men of Barracks 2, sleep never came. Soon a weary-eyed Hogan entered the barracks, looking dishevelled, having not slept.

"He's still not back yet?"

"Non mon Colonel." Corporal Louis Lebeau answered making coffee. "What do you want to do at roll call?"

"I dunno, but I'll think of something." Hogan walked back into his office with a cup of coffee in order to grab his cap and jacket, as Sergeant of the Guard Georg Hans Schultz entered the barracks. Doe and Smith slowly finished tying their shoes as they were ushered out for roll call. As they fell into line, everyman from Hogan's barracks watched Hogan's movements for any subtle clues he might give as to the action and direction he wanted morning roll call to take. They knew their CO would manipulate Kommandant Klink into doing his bidding, but how he always did it, still left many of the veterans impressed and amazed.

As Klink walked over, Schultz eyed Hogan as if waiting for a queue, Hogan gave none. Smith could tell by the look on his face that he was rapidly thinking. I sure hope he has a way to talk his way out of Newkirk being missing. I don't want that crazed Major Hochstetter around; it's my turn to work in the tunnels. And whenever he's around it's impossible to get any work done. Besides it always stresses the Colonel out.

Klink approached Schultz and the two of them exchanged a few words, before Klink told them they were all dismissed. Smith's mouth dropped open, as did Doe's beside him.

"He…wait…why…" Smith stammered.

"Why didn't Klink rant about a prisoner being missing? Didn't old Schultz tell him? Not to press our luck."

"I dunno, buddy, but I'm glad he didn't. Look at the expression on the colonel's face. He doesn't understand it either." The two men watched as their CO blinked a few times and headed back into the barracks, they followed behind.


"Okay men," Hogan addressed his main team of Sergeant James Kinchloe, Sergeant Andrew Carter, and Corporal Louis Lebeau. "I don't know why Klink was so calm this morning, but I don't like it. And Newkirk is hours passed due…"

"So what do you want to do Colonel? I mean we can't point out that Newkirk isn't here, I mean that wouldn't be very nice, and besides if Klink hasn't noticed-"

"Thank you, Carter, I know. I'm going to head over to Klink's office and see what I can find out." Hogan turned and headed out the door and over to the Kommandant's office.

"What do you suppose is going on?" Doe asked aloud, watching the window as he was on alert duty.

"I don't know. But someone is going to have to go out and find Newkirk. I'm surprised the Colonel is being so relaxed about it, and hasn't sent a team out already." Kinch shook his head.

"Maybe he doesn't want any more of us caught?" Lebeau suggested.

"Maybe…I'm still worried about Newkirk though. I have this nagging feeling something bad has happened to him…" Kinch sighed.

"Excuse us, Kinch, but the four of us here need to climb into the tunnel."

"Not a problem, Smith. On digging duty?"

"Yeah, us here and the guys from barracks 1, 5, and 9 are working on expanding the tunnel under our barracks to include larger sleeping quarters for downed fliers. The Colonel wants this done by tomorrow." Smith hit the lever and the bunk Kinch had been sitting up popped up, exposing a ladder down into the tunnel. Kinch let out a whistle.

"The Colonel sure keeps you guys busy."

"Tell us about it. You guys get all the fun work." Smith grinned and headed into the tunnel. He immediately popped back up. "Hey! Lebeau, Carter you guys need to come on down here, I think we have company." Smith popped back down and was immediately followed by Lebeau and Carter.

"Car coming in, Kinch!" Doe yelled as he looked out the window.

"Who is it, Doe?" Kinch came running over to the window.

"Uhhh…" Doe watched as the car stopped in front of the Kommandanbüro. "It's Newkirk! It's Newkirk! Klink and Hogan are walking out now to meet him. Holy cow! He's got handcuffs on and everything! What is the war coming to?" All the men left in the barracks rushed over to the window. And started laughing as they saw Newkirk, obviously say something he shouldn't have, as both Schultz and Hogan dragged him over towards the barracks. However, they stopped laughing as they saw Hogan whisper to an upset Newkirk and walk slowly into the barracks alone, leaving Newkirk alone with Schultz. The tunnel entrance beneath Kinch's bunk had flown open with both Carter and Lebeau running towards the door, Doe jumped as it popped open and he watched the men nearly knock down their CO as he entered the barracks. Seeing Carter take over sentry duty at the door, Doe headed back towards his bunk, leaning against it. Wow, something big must be happening.

"Colonel we got ten men from Stalag 6 down in the tunnel, they got through."

"What about the other eight?"

"Not yet, not yet." Lebeau followed Hogan over to the tunnel entrance as one of the downed fliers emerged. Doe turned his head towards one of the other men, Mann, still up in the barracks. If only ten had shown up… Mann shook his head slowly. Probably nabbed along the way. It wouldn't be the first time. Doe sighed; he couldn't imagine the frightening uncertainty of being caught while escaping. Guess I'm pretty luck to have the Colonel and the operation here.

"What about the rest of your men?" Hogan asked the escaped captain who had just climbed out of the tunnel.

"We separated Colonel, we are afraid they may have been caught." Captain Andersen, the obvious chosen leader spoke with Hogan. Doe starred out back across the compound. Newkirk was sitting on the ground outside the barracks flipping through his cards slowly. What is he still doing out there? What is going on? I hate it that no one tells us anything. Doe looked back over towards Hogan and Andersen.

"Let's just hope nobody talks…" Hogan said aloud more to himself than to either Kinch or Andersen. I hope nobody talks. That is the one downside about being a prisoner here, as well as a job as Colonel Hogan and his team do, one day, one day it may not be enough…and then what will happen to the rest of us if the Colonel can't protect us? The idea made Doe shiver. Mann who was standing with his arms cross apparently had the same fear, as a look of terror crossed his face.

"Continue onto the processing room, I wanna get these guys underway as soon as possible." Hogan seemed distracted.

"We'll do our best, Colonel, but we're short-handed without Newkirk." Kinch replied.

"Did he get the full 30 days?" Lebeau asked. Doe and all the other men were suddenly jolted out of their thoughts at their CO's next response.

"No…he got transferred…to Stalag 6." Hogan replied. Doe didn't know what to think. Transferred? Can Klink do that?! Of course he can you idiot. Doe mentally slapped himself. We are still prisoners of war, regardless of all the work we do here.

"What?" Kinch responded shocked.

"But that cannot do that!" Lebeau yelled. My thoughts exactly. Doe felt like joining in with Lebeau, but he knew better than to get involved with his CO was scheming with his team. Maybe we can hide him in the tunnel…

"…well we'll just keep him in the tunnel for a year or so till they forget about him." Carter turned away from the door, obviously upset. You read my mind, Andrew. I mean we break people out all the time…Doe couldn't believe his CO wasn't going for it. How can he do this?! To one of his own men?! No wonder Newkirk looks so upset out there. He's being transferred. Doe climbed up onto his bed, upset. How can the Colonel just abandon a guy like that? That's not fair. Especially all the hard work those guys do for him. What if it was one of us regular guys, would he even shed a tear? Doe paused. Of course he would. That man would do anything for us. Man, I hate this war! Doe smacked his pillow against the wall.

"Schultz and Newkirk." Doe heard Carter say from his position facing the wall. He turned around, and felt like he should say something. But this was a moment reserved for Hogan and his team. Doe felt utterly helpless as he watched the scene play before his eyes.

"'Ello mates."

"Hey Newkirk. You're lookin' great." Carter smiled. Doe felt a pang of sadness as he could see what Newkirk's best friends were trying to do.

"Yeah. What a break, huh. I mean no 30 days in the cooler."

"You're looking great, just great…" Lebeau tried to cheer his friend up.

I'm done in mates, that's all. Done in." Doe wasn't sure if he could take much more. What is going to happen to the operation if Newkirk isn't here? He's one of the Colonel's main men. Our safe-cracker, one of our best impersonators, and our best pick-pocketer. Sure there are other guys in camp with those skills, but not all in the same person who his level and command of German…Doe turned back to the sad scene in front of him.

"Well…we did 'ave some fun didn't we?" Newkirk went through his belongings, handing his favourite set of cards to Kinch.

"Tough luck old buddy…" Kinch whispered.

"I sorta always thought that when the Allied tanks rolled up to the front gate we'd all be here together…I just always thought that…" Carter said aloud as Hogan gave him a disapproving look. Leave it to Carter to say something we had all be thinking aloud. If Newkirk can be transferred…what else can happen? Doe couldn't stand to watch anymore. He kept hoping that his good poker friend wasn't really being sent to Stalag 6. Maybe we could visit him? A reverse break-in?

"Newkirk, there is no chance that we can get you back here, but we're not gonna let you rot in Stalag 6." Hogan's voice brought Doe and the other men back to the attention of the centre of the room. Maybe there will be a break-out after all! Leave it to the Colonel! Doe watched with interest as Hogan handed him the only gun they had in stock over to Newkirk. "…take the escape route to England. Understand?"

"Yes Sir. I can't 'elp but wonder about the girl they grabbed me with, do ya think they're 'oldin' 'er?"

"Don't do anything about the girl! Head for England!" Hogan nearly yelled. Don't be stupid, Peter. Doe shook his head. Get to England, and sent me a picture of all those places you promised to show me. Or better yet, I'll trade you positions. I'll go to England and send you postcards and you stay here. Doe was surprised at Newkirk's hesitation. He is always talking about heading back home and seein' his sister and all those pretty girls he left behind, I'd have figured he'd be excited to go home… Doe looked up as Schultz entered. Doe watched as Newkirk headed out. There goes one of the greatest men, and card players, I have ever known. Doe sighed.


Hogan and the rest of his team watched from the windows as the car with Newkirk drove away. Without saying a word Hogan headed for his office, slamming the door behind him. Kinch refused to meet anyone's eyes and headed for his radio in the tunnel. Lebeau started cooking something, and refused to talk to anyone, while Carter went for a walk outside. Doe nodded sadly towards the other men. It will be their duty to inform the others in camp. He headed for the tunnels, figuring the best place start would be with his friend, Smith.

Following Kinch down the ladder, Smith wasn't that far away, working directly under Barracks 2 with about 15 other guys from different barracks.

"Hey Bobby! Bobby." Smith turned towards his friend, who looked exhausted and was covered in filth.

"Hey, what is it? You look like someone died."

"It's Newkirk. He's been transferred to Stalag 6! He just left with Schultz! He's gone! He's gonna break out of there and head for England. We have no idea what happened. Ya know how he was gone during roll call, well a short while after he was brought back. Somehow they found out about him and…" Doe stopped talking. All the men in the tunnel looked at him with various looks from shock to horror to utter sadness to disbelief.

"He's gone…? He owes me money!" Private Guy yelled.

"Don't count on getting it back." Smith shook his head.

"Are you serious? How is the Colonel and his team takin' it?" Private Kid couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Not well. Not well at all. I would stay away from them right now. They are under enough stress as it is with the missing fliers, and these guys we have to process." Doe answered sadly.

"Man, don't you ever wish it was you going through?" The first private asked no one in particular.

"All the time…all the time. But then I think of the possibility of getting shot, and all the good we are doing here, and it makes it more bearable." Corporal Body chuckled.

"Come-on guys. We need to spread the word about Newkirk." Doe waited as the men cleaned themselves up, and ran to spread the word of what happened to Newkirk to the other barrackses.

Doe and Smith climbed up one of the tunnel ladders into barracks 1.

"Hey guys, bad news." As they began into their tale, the man on sentry duty suddenly interrupted.

"Car coming! It's…uh-oh. It's our Worst Kraut of the War Winner, Hochstetter."

"Hochstetter?" Smith looked at the Barracks 1 Chief? "What could he be doing here?"

"I dunno. But he just stormed into Klink's office. Oh, and there goes the Colonel. You guys better head back over to your barracks, I'm sure Kinch and everyone is listening in. This might be important."

"Right." The two friends ran back over to their barracks.


"What's going on?! We saw that our local side-thorn arrived." Smith and Doe looked at the other men in the barracks.

"I dunno guys, but Kinch, Carter, and Lebeau are in the Colonel's office listening in. Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be too important at the moment." One of the members of the barracks didn't even bother looking up from his letter he was reading. Doe and Smith nodded and walked over to their respective bunks.

About 10 minutes later, Hogan returned. He walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee. Before turning to his main team who had just emerged from his office.

"Okay guys. It seems that Hochstetter not only has caught the remaining escapees from Stalag 6, but also knew that they were headed here. And is determined to catch anyone going in or out of here."

"What are you planning on doing with the guys down in the tunnel, Colonel?" Kinch asked.

"I dunno yet. We need to get Hochstetter off our trail first. Kinch, can you go down in the tunnel and tell the guys they need to lay low for a while till we can get things sorted out. I don't want them coming up here for any reason unless they have to."

"Right Colonel."


No more than 30 minutes had passed before every head turned at the familiar signal coming from the tunnel.

"Someone wants to come up." Lebeau was surprised.

"Orders were to stay down." Hogan walked over annoyed and hit the lever. They just want to get us all killed don't they, Smith barely glanced up from the book he was reading before he dropped it completely. Newkirk! Doe was wrong!

"Newkirk!" Lebeau yelled.

"I forgot me toothbrush, sir!" Newkirk climbed out of the tunnel. Smith smiled at Doe who looked happy and confused. Sharing the same look with the rest of the men, but cheered along with the rest of them and their colonel's main team. No one ever told them anything. What is he doing back here? I thought he was on his way to England? Doe wondered giving Smith a shrug.

"You were on your way to England." Hogan was not pleased at the sight of one of his men, something that confused every man in the barracks, including it seemed to the rest of the men, his own main team.

"I still am as a matter of fact."


"Uh…well…I sorta 'ad an obligation to Gretel, Sir." Newkirk stammered as he explained to his CO why he had come back. Doe hopped off his bunk, and walked over towards the nearest guy. Both shared the look of, I hope this isn't going where I think this is going. Their fears were soon confirmed.

"Want to meet the Colonel, Gretel?!" Newkirk yelled into the tunnel. Doe could swear Colonel Hogan was about to have a heart attack. He broke security! He's going to get us all shot! Especially with that crazed Hochstetter in camp! If he finds out about Newkirk and Gretel bein' in camp…Doe could already see the triumph look on Hochstetter's face when he finally caught Papa Bear's operation.

Smith's eyes widen as Gretel stepped up. Now that's a girl! The Colonel sure doesn't look happy about it. But wooohooo! Way to go Peter! Lovely girl! Man I want to go outside the wire if the girls look like that!

"You brought her in from the outside all the way through the tunnel?" Smith could tell Hogan had a distaste already for the female, and the whole situation. Wonder why he's so upset over her? Newkirk has vouched for her, that's good enough for the rest of us.

"Uh, yes, sir, I did." Newkirk answered

"She saw everything we had below?" Everyman watched as Hogan clearly disliked the girl being in the barracks, while everyone except him could have cared less. It's a girl, Colonel! Smith returned to reading his letter, this didn't concern him or the other men in camp; this was for his CO and the main team. As he was reading his letter from home for the 27th time that week, he kept an ear glued on what was going on with his CO. Hogan was explaining to the girl about the problem with the fliers and Major Hochstetter surrounding the compound. Glancing up he saw Hogan walked over and pulled out a map of the compound. What is he doing? Smith wondered. Explaining the attack in front of the strange girl? Has he finally lost it?

"…airborne makes a parachute drop here." Hogan pointed to a post on the map.

"Inside the camp?" Kinch repeated confused.

"Inside the camp." Hogan confirmed.

"In the confusion the ten escapees will come up and join them. They all fight their way through the fence here, and are all picked up by transport planes here." Doe listened to his CO's plan, in-case by some miracle it involved any of them. He's finally done it. He's fallen off his cheese. The Allies would never pull off anything that crazy. This doesn't make any sense.

"Colonel you are joking…" Lebeau said in disbelief. He has to be joking. Doesn't the Geneva Convention prevent people from killing their own unarmed members…especially when those members happen to be the enemy's prisoners of war? I'm sure it's in there somewhere!

"…open the door!" Schultz suddenly yelled, interrupting Hogan. Doe jumped off his bed and took a step towards the door. He glanced over towards the two sentries already on Hogan's queue holding the door closed. He took three large steps backwards, deciding he didn't want to be in the way when Schultz bolted through the door.

"One…two…three…" Everyone holding the door had let go, and Doe and the other men bit their tongues to keep from laughing out loud as Schultz came barrelling through the door. "Who was holding the door? I want to know."

"No one Schultz. It sticks in the warm weather." Hogan answered without missing a beat. Doe smiled, he always enjoyed watching his colonel's golden tongue and sharp wit over their captures.

"Where did Newkirk get the gun? You will tell me everything." Schultz demanded, as much as he could, of Hogan. Smith's eyes widened. Yet sensing his CO had prepared for this eventuality, he didn't panic. But watched his closely in case of trouble.

"Of course we will Schultz. Now come over here." Hogan tried to lead Schultz away from where Newkirk and the girl were hiding next to his bunk. Smith held his breath, please go into his office, please go into his office, please go into his office…

"…if you ask me to go over there. I go over here." Schultz made a B-line for Newkirk. Everyone man held his breath, and tried to adjust his face not to show the genuine fear they felt if Schultz saw both Newkirk and the girl. Even with Schultz, that would be hard to explain, Doe thought nervously. "Newkirk?" Schultz was utterly confused. As much as Doe wanted to laugh at the poor sergeant the thought of a firing squad was dancing in his head.

"Sorry Schultz, tried to save you." Hogan shrugged slightly. Doe relaxed as his CO began to manipulate Schultz. Why do I even bother worrying? He smiled. Our colonel can talk his way out of anything. However his enjoyment was short lived.

"It's a girl." Schultz's eyes widen. "I see nothing!" He began to flee towards the door. Smith watched him cross the room. Would he actually tell the Kommandant? Our Schultz wouldn't actually do that…would he?

"Explain that. Especially to Hochstetter." Hogan whispered the dare to him as Schultz crossed towards the door.

"I hear nothing! I see nothing!" He had barely opened it when Gretel opened her mouth.

"Halt. Einen Moment."

"Who said that?" Schultz looked around.

"Ich. Sie werden warten. (I did. You will wait.)"

"Wieso? (Why?)" Schultz starred at her as she answered and led him to the Kommandanbüro. Doe felt his anger rising, he was not a violent man. But he just saw everything he had worked for during his time here crumbling. Falling apart around him, over some stupid girl. Who turned out to be the enemy!

Smith had to be restrained by another man from smacking Newkirk in the face. Whether he was one of the Colonel Hogan's main men or not! He was not going to be lined up and shot over some other man's mistake. He couldn't believe someone could be so stupid. He hadn't seen a girl in two years, except for Helga, Hilda, Tiger, and Kalinke, but even he wouldn't be so stupid as to bring one back without permission from the Colonel. What were you thinking idiot!

"She was on their side and you should her everything!" Lebeau shouted angrily.

"Nice goin' old buddy." Kinch was obviously disappointed, which was a fate that could hurt worse than being yelled at.

"But she seemed so sincere-like!" Newkirk defended himself. Smith was utterly disgusted at Newkirk. And now they had to face that ridiculous plan that Colonel Hogan had came up with.

"There aren't any parachute troops." Hogan answered Carter, and in doing so, the rest of the men. Smith's eyes turned back to Hogan. I knew it! He was bluffing! That's my CO for you. Always 200 paces ahead of everyone.

"You knew she was a spy along, huh?" Kinch looked at his CO.

"I didn't. That is why I had to play it safe. Carter get on a Luftwaffe uniform, you're going to be a general"

"Yes sir." Carter headed for the tunnels. Doe watched him run over. What is he planning, and what is our role going to be in it?

"Newkirk get down in the tunnel."

"Right sir."

"After you get down there set of the explosives that closes off this entrance, and let's hope the barracks doesn't go down with it…." As Hogan explained his plan Doe turned towards the other men. Had he heard right? Their looks confirmed it. Utter doom. If Colonel Hogan was sealing off this entrance, that meant they were going to have to dig it back out. Which meant sneaking around at night and digging for days. Doe could already feel the dirt under his nails, in his hair, lungs, throat, and the sore mussels. I'm sure hope the colonel comes up with a wiz bang punishment for him, because if he doesn't, right now we are likely to pass our own. And I say let him dig the tunnel back on his own!

"Do I go out with them?" Newkirk asked as Hogan was giving him orders.

"No you wait a while and then turn yourself in at the main gate."

"Oh good, I can talk me way out of anything with ol' Klink."

"Yeah. But you won't be so lucky with us. Get going!" Hogan's face was dangerous. Doe smiled. By "with us" and the expression on his Colonel's face, he knew that it wasn't just the main team the Colonel was talking about, but the whole barracks if not the whole camp. Doe smiled knowing that his CO was including him and the other men in the judgement of one of his CO's top men.

Newkirk disappeared under the tunnel. Colonel Hogan was fuming, absolutely fuming. None of the men had ever seen him so angry.

"Okay now everyone, and I mean everyone listen up! Here is the plan and we have to act fast!!" Kinch, Lebeau, Doe, Smith, and the rest of the men gathered around Hogan. "First we need to move this bunk. Lebeau, Kinch and you three." He pointed to a group of men. "Switch it with that bunk over there. The tool kit to undo the bolts for the tunnel entrance is in my footlocker. You," he pointed to another man, "go and inform the other barracks chiefs of Emergency Code Yellow Plus. Go to Standby in case we have to evacuate. GO! You, I want you to change to poster, I don't care with what. You, you, and you. I want you to seal the floor after the bunk is gone with this-" He held up a small bottle. "It will help make the break in the floor boards harder to detect. Now go!" Hogan walked towards his office slamming the door behind him.

"Boy is he ever angry." Kinch noticed as he carried the bunk.

"I'd say. I've never seen him so steamed up before." One of the men helping Kinch carried the bunk replied.

"What do you think is going to happen. Do you think this is going to work, Kinch?" Doe asked.

"I dunno. But I sure hope it does. The Colonel's schemes usually do."

"Kinch, what is going to happen with Newkirk?"

"I have a feeling the Colonel will deal with him."

"I'd sure like to deal with him…" Smith punched his hand.

"Smith…" Kinch shook his head. Suddenly the whole barracks shook like it was in an 8.0 earthquake. The men toppled over as they tried to put the last touches into place. Hogan returned a moment later calmer and watched the men finish tidying everything up. He grabbed a desk of cards and sat down, Lebeau poured cups of coffee for Hogan, Kinch, and himself. Doe and Smith sat in the corner near Hogan's office and chatted. The uneasy tension was soon broken by Schultz, Hochstetter, Gretel, and Klink bursting through the door.

"Achtung!" Schultz yelled. Doe and the other men who were on the bunks jumped off. Smith watched as Hogan remained perfectly calm while he himself was sweating worse than Niagara Falls, and his heart was racing faster than a horse at full gallop.

"Ahha. End of the line, Colonel Hogan." Hochstetter grinned evilly.

"How's that?" Hogan answered innocently.

"We've come to look at your downstairs apartment."

"You've been listening to rumours again."

"Something a little more substantial." Hochstetter turned to Gretel. "Zeigen Sie uns den Eingang. (Show us the tunnel entrance.)"

„Gerne. (Gladly.)" As Gretel walked over to the replaced bunk he turned towards Doe and both of them hid a chuckle, and they saw Kinch pretend to cough as he himself was grinning. As Gretel searched the bunk Doe had to turn away for fear of giving the game away, and pretending to have a coughing attack. If he was losing it already, what would happen when Carter showed up?

"Ich weiß genau, dass es irgendwo sein muss.(I know that it is here somewhere.)" Smith watched Colonel Hogan's face for any hint of what the man was thinking, but he sat perfectly calm, and drank his coffee.

„Das Bett raus! (This bed, out!)" Hochstetter yelled at the two men he brought with him who had shovels. Smith's heart jumped into his throat. Would they see the pattern of where the tunnel entrance had been cut throw the boards? Yet Hogan still showed no signs of panic. He must be as nervous as us. If not more. Hochstetter is always pursuing him, and he will lose a whole lot more than us if this truly is the end of the line.

Doe watched as the two men picked up the bunk and moved it aside. Hochstetter stomped what had only moments before been a tunnel entrance. I kinda hope he falls through…Doe bit his tongue to keep from laughing as he pictured Hochstetter falling through and getting stuck in the mound of dirt below.

"Nehmen Sie das Äxten und schlagen Sie das auf. (Take the axe and start hitting.)" Hochstetter ordered the two men, who started cutting through the floor.

"Better that way." Hogan commented. "Has the gestapo touch."

"Was ist hier denn los? (What's going on here?)" Doe turned his head and saw Carter in his Luftwaffe General's uniform enter the barracks. As terrified as he was that Hochstetter had finally caught their operation, he was determined to sit back and watch the show he knew was about to play out in front of his eyes. Whenever one of the men got to dress up as a German, humour was never far behind. He looked at the rest of the men who were trying to hide their own satisfaction and excitement of what was to come.

"Achtung!" Schultz chocked out. Hogan, Kinch, and Lebeau stood up from where they were sitting at the centre table. Carter walked over to Klink.

"Ach Sie wiedermal Major Hochstetter. Ist die ss zuständlich für Baracken Renovierung oder würden die Leute die Zeit zulang? (You again, Major Hochstetter. Is the ss standing for barracks renovations, or have the people too much time on their hands?)" Smith now had to turn and fake a slight coughing attack to hide his laughter. At this rate, Klink and Hochstetter would believe the whole barracks was coming down with the flu.

"Ich bin General von Siedelberg, Luftwaffe. Fragen Sie, Klink. Er erkennt mich. (I'm General von Siedelberg, Luftwaffe. Ask Klink. He knows me.)"

„Äh-uh." Klink shook his head, and then suddenly stood at attention. "Selbstverständlich kenne ich Sie! (Uh-uh. Naturally I know you!)" Klink proceeded to salute Carter several times. How Carter remained in character was beyond Smith's comprehension. He turned to Hochstetter.

"...was tun Sie hier eigentlich, abgesehen der blöden Bettinspektion. (…what are you doing here, aside from daft bed inspections.)" He chuckled.

"Ich hab' 'nen riesen Plot in Ihrer Lager entdeckt Herr General...(I discovered a large plot in your camp, General…)" Hochstetter started to explain about the underground operation. Doe looked at Carter behind the glasses he could tell the young guy was having a lot of fun. It's at moments like this that I envy the Colonel's main team. Then I remember all the times they've been kidnapped and shot at…

"Stimmt das, Wilhelm? (Is that right, Wilhelm?)" Carter looked at Klink, causing him to stutter. Doe bit his lip as he tried to stand up straight. It wasn't easy standing perfectly quiet in the background trying not to be noticed by any of the Germans. Especially when Carter was letting both Hochstetter and Klink have it.

"Zeigen Sie den Tunnel. (Show your tunnel.)" Carter ordered. Hochstetter turned to his men with the axes. Doe grinned.

"Es gibt Nichts, außer Erde, Herr Major. (There's nothing, except dirt, major.)"

„Na und?! Was macht man mit der Erde?! Graben Sie! LOS! (And?! What do you do with dirt?! Dig! NOW!)"

„Zu Befehl Herr Major! (On your orders, major!)"

„Betteninspektion und jetzt Gartenarbeit? (Bunk inspections and now gardening?)" Carter chuckled again. Smith leaned a little closer. Oh man. We're gonna have to dig that all back out. Carter's explosions did their usual excellent job. They will never dig out our tunnel. But that is going to mean days of work for us. Keep diggin' boys, make our job easier. Smith chuckled to himself. His eyes shifted over to the shared bunk of Carter and Newkirk. Gretel had pulled out the secret panel, or formally secret panel to show the map. He didn't see what poster they replaced the compound map with when everyone was running around getting ready. Suddenly Hogan, who was standing with his main team leaning on some bunks, ran up to the major.

"Just a minute Major. To us this is almost sacred ground."

"Out of the way, Hogan." Hochstetter snapped.

"Happy digging." Hogan told the Hochstetter's guys as he crossed the room towards Smith. Hochstetter pulled down the poster. Hey! That's my poster! Thanks for asking fellows! Smith couldn't believe it. Sheesh, sacred ground indeed. Nothing around here is sacred anymore, not even a guy's footlocker. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Was ist denn das? (What is that?)" Hochstetter asked no one in particular.

"Das wissen Sie nicht, sind Sie so alt? (You don't know, are you so old?)" Carter replied without missing a beat.

„Das war die Karte, Herr Major. Das weiß ich genau. (That was the map, major. I know that for sure.)" Gretel tried to plead with the Germans and Carter. Doe smirked. It was the map of the compound, missy. But this is what happens to people who mess with our guys. Doe was being to get antsy. He had been standing still for some time now, with his heart racing. He could see Colonel Hogan's mind racing, yet on the outside was still a calm and compose exterior. How is this going to be wrapped up? How are Carter and the Colonel going to get Hochstetter off our trail? Doe turned back in as Carter turned the tables on both Hochstetter and Gretel by saying that it was her bring information to him about Hochstetter. Doe felt a bit of guilt as he saw the fear in her eyes.

"Nein! Kein Wort davon spricht er der Wahrheit! (No! He doesn't speak a word of truth!)" Gretel's pleaded. Smith also felt bad for her. Technically she is telling the truth there. But she is a devious, manipulator. She should have stayed away from our men. She deserves not to be believed. She doesn't deserve to be Hochstetter's prisoner, no one deserves that, but she needs to be locked away where no other agent will fall for her feminine wiles. Smith watched as she was taken outside.

"Sie kommen in einem intensiven Verhör mit mir mit. (You're coming with me to an intensive questioning.)"

Carter was continuing to make the Hogan proud by spinning tales.

"Was ist mit den zehn Flüchtigen? Die Spur wurde erkältet währen Sie hier garten und mit Pin-Up Fotos ansehen. (What is with the ten escapees? The trail gets cold while you are here gardening and looking at pin-up photos.)" Carter chastised Hochstetter. Go Carter go! Doe mentally encouraged him, smiling openly now, along with the rest of the men. They all knew that Hochstetter was finally beaten. Hogan raised the corner of his mouth ever so slightly and his right eyebrow in single to his men. They have won yet again. The challenge now would be to get Newkirk back. Doe wondered how Hogan and Carter would handle that. I hope Carter takes advantage while he is impersonating a general. As much of a "sticky-wicket" that boy got us into, I don't wanna lose him to Stalag 6. Doe didn't have to wonder long to hear about the Newkirk problem.

"Klink, lernen Sie was den in Stalag 6 eigenen hat. Es war zu viele Gefangener verlegt. (Klink, learn from what they learned the hard way at Stalag 6. Too many prisoners misplaced.)"

„Bei uns ist es schön. (Here is it perfect.)" Klink replied. Doe watched as Hogan rolled his eyes at the Kommandat's comment.

„Der komm der Kommandant von Stalag 6 nach Sibirien schicken. (There the Kommandant from Stalag 6 will be sent to Siberia.)" Carter laughed.

"Seien Sie versicher, Salberberg- (Rest assure Salberberg-)"


"Das ist Ihre Problem. Obwohl ich jeden Tag mit Lebenstransfer, aber mit Namen hab' ich nicht. (That is your problem. Although I have problems every day with transfers, I don't with names.)" Doe started chuckling as Klink was falling all over himself. He looked over at Lebeau who was shaking his head sadly and Kinch who had an amused look on his face.

"What about Newkirk." Hogan asked, Smith could tell by his stance he was getting fet up with the situation.

"Forget it." Klink answered as he walked out the door with Carter, mumbling to him on the way out. Hochstetter walked back over to Hogan.

"And I will keep my eye on you Hogan; you have not heard the last of this." Hochstetter pointed directly at Hogan. Suddenly a spray of dirt hit him directly in the face. Everyone man in the barracks starting chuckling very quietly, trying to keep the attention away from themselves, but hardly being able to keep in it. They were only now starting to finally breathe again. However as Hochstetter yelled at his men for hitting him with dirt, and stormed out of the barracks with his men on his heels, every man lost it, and broke down laughing, even Hogan couldn't help himself.

"Well we did it again fellas."

"Carter did a magnificent job." Kinch commented to Hogan.

"That he did, Kinch."

"He'll be hard to live with after this." Lebeau chuckled.

"What do you want to do about the tunnel entrance?" Kinch walked over and looked at the hole that Hochstetter's men had left. Hogan and the rest of the men joined him. Hogan sighed.

"Leave it for now. We'll deal with it later. I have a few ideas. At least Hochstetter was kind enough to give us a head start."

"Hochstetter's leaving Colonel." Smith called from sentry duty.

"Thanks. That takes care of one problem. That just leaves getting Carter back, and Newkirk back in."

"Colonel, looks like Newkirk is turning himself in now."

"Good. I want to be there when he does." Hogan stormed out of the barracks.

"What do you think he is going to do with him, mon Ami?" Lebeau asked Kinch.

"I dunno. But somehow I don't think he'll be talking Klink out of the cooler sentence."

"Oui. Me either."


About fifteen minutes later a still angry Hogan came back into the barracks. Carter followed behind him after managing to escape Klink's grasp, entering through the emergency tunnel entrance, changing back into his regular uniform and exiting through barracks 1. "Klink just won't let me go guys!" As Hogan entered, he ordered the men around.

"Alright guys. Tonight after lights out there will be the trial of Corporal Peter Newkirk. All men of Barracks 2 are required to attend. Any of you who wish to be on the Jury are allowed, and I want you to spread the word to the other barracks that they are welcome to attend. Is that understood? The trial will start at 2200 hours."

"How are you planning on breaking him out of the cooler, Colonel?" Carter asked.

"The normal way, and then we will bring him up through barracks 1, and then just slide him through on through the darkness to our barracks, hopefully we won't be spotted. Any questions." Everyone shook their heads.


Smith really wanted to have Newkirk sit directly under the lamp, really badly.

"It will make it feel like an integration."

"We're not integrating him idiot. He's on trial." Doe rolled his eyes.


"He's coming!" Mann opened the door for Lebeau, Kinch, and Newkirk. The two sat Newkirk down as everyone else stood facing them, sober, angry faces, and arms crossed. Hogan started.

"Will the defendant please rise." Newkirk swallowed. "Corporal Peter Newkirk is hereby charged with breaking security by bring into camp, through the emergency tunnel, without permission from the Colonel, an outsider, who turned out to be a gestapo agent. On this charge, the defendant is found guilty."

"What?! Don't I get to say anything in my defence?!"

"You will, Newkirk, you will." Hogan stood up. "Your actions have caused the near end of our operation, the near firing squad for every man in camp, and the subsequent collapse of the tunnel entrance. We are just stating the facts as the stand." He paused a moment. "Do you have anything to say in your own defence, Corporal Newkirk?" Hogan crossed his arms as he wanted for Newkirk to stop writing and answer.

"Yes Sir I 'ave. In the first place, even though I talked ol' Klink into letting me back in, I still 'ave 30 days in the cooler 'angin' over me 'ead."

"So?" Lebeau answered coldly with arms crossed, mirroring everyone's feelings towards Newkirk at the moment. Newkirk crunched up and threw away his notes.

"In the second place, even though I broke security by bringin' in that girl in through the tunnel I plead extenuating circumstances as it were." Newkirk answered. Extenuating Circumstances? What?! Smith and Doe looked at each other. What kind of defence is that?

"As it were what?" Hogan answered. That's what we wanna know, sir.

Ah! Sir, I put it to you this way. 'Ere I am one of the most knowledgeable concerning the female sex-" Doe coughed-laughed at that. Sure you are buddy. I saw the way you swept some of the agents who've come through off their feet! "-locked up in this box day after day, a man goes to seed! What's my plea?" Newkirk grabbed his lapel, "Don't indict me, indict the system."

Doe looked at the other men. No one was impressed. Lebeau, Kinch, and Carter all looked thoroughly unhappy. Only Colonel Hogan seemed satisfied with Newkirk's defence. Don't tell me he's buying this. That is the worse defence I've ever heard! At least make him dig the tunnel out by himself, or something!

"Newkirk. You made a point."

"I did, sir?" He did? Smith's eyes grew wide, as did every man's in the room. Kinch looked at Lebeau who was shaking his head. Carter's mouth dropped open. "You exposed a basic weakness. From now on rotating weekend passes in Hammelburg. You first, Lebeau, then Kinch, then Carter."

"Thank you, Sir!" Lebeau answered smiling. The rest of the men looked at each other excited, and there was a quiet cheer. Does that mean we get to go too?! Most of us speak German by now. I would love to get out of here! They could barely contain their excitement.

"I'm gonna go to the zoo." Carter told Lebeau.

"Ah, sir. As it was my idea, do you ah, think I might get something out of it?" Newkirk asked nervously. There was the quietest boo ever heard coming from the men. Hogan smiled.

"Oh you will, Newkirk, you will. The satisfaction that you are making these men better, more rounded, more balanced, fighting men."

"Well…it's about all a man can 'ope for isn't it, Colonel?" Newkirk answered defeated. Hogan nodded and smiled, followed by the nodding of the rest of the men.

"Colonel? Will the excursions be extended to the rest of us as well?" One of the men spoke up.

"Of course. I will post a list day after tomorrow. Some of you will go in pairs depending on your level of German. We don't want another accident, do we…Newkirk?"

"No, sir."

"Jury. You have heard the evidence against Newkirk here. What is your verdict?" Hogan asked eying the men of the barracks. The entire barracks turned and started to argue with each other as to appropriate punishment. Newkirk rang his hands together nervously.

"Colonel…couldn't, couldn't you just deal me a punishment?"

"Why Newkirk, I'm surprised at you. That's hardly fair. Your crime is as much against the rest of the camp, as it was against the rules I laid down. And besides this is a trial of your peers. Just because we are in Germany doesn't mean we can't use American law."

"But I'm English!"

"English law." Hogan shrugged and turned his head towards the arguing which had gotten louder and louder. Doe and Smith were literally shouting to be heard over the noise. Smith was sure at any moment that Schultz was going to be busting through the door to yell at them for having the light on after lights out and for all the noise. After 25 painful minutes, they came to a conclusion.

"Colonel? We have come to a conclusion." Kinch stepped forward. Hogan and Newkirk stood up.

"Corporal Peter Newkirk. We, your fellow prisoners of Stalag 13, do find you guilty of breaking security and nearly killing us by blowing the operation and proving Hochstetter's crazed ideas about the Colonel being Papa Bear. We hence by sentence you to every night digging the entrance of the tunnel out by yourself until it is completed-"

"WHAT?!" Newkirk yelled.

"-and have banned you from visiting Hammelburg until the cycle of names has been completed twice. You are also sentenced to helping barrackses 1, 2, 5, and 9 expand the tunnel under barracks 2 for the escapees who pass through here, as these were the barrackses working on the part of the tunnel caved in. This extra duty will give you ample to think rethink your choosing –method of bar maidens." Kinch finished. Hogan nodded, impressed.

"There you have it, Newkirk. Any last words?"

"Do I get a blindfold and a cigarette?" Newkirk looked like he didn't know what else to say. Hogan laughed. Doe had to hand it to him, and Lebeau and Kinch walked him back out of the barracks, he was a man that wasn't easily broken.

"What will we do until Newkirk unblocks the tunnel entrance, sir?" Carter asked. Hogan sighed. Doe noticed he looked tired.

"Use barracks 1, and pray we don't get any missions till then. How bad is the damage down there, Carter?"

"Bad. The damage extends all the way till the radio room. I think the radio is still operational though."

"That's something to be thankful for." Doe watched Hogan cross over to his office. "Well good night, fellas."

"Night, sir!" The barracks answered, everyone crawling into their respected bunks. The men from the other barracks sneaking out one by one. Mann turned out the light. The barracks sighed at the darkness. There was a moment of silence.

"Do you think we were too hard on him?" Doe asked.

"Nah, he deserved it. We could have been killed. I'm still votin' for laundry duty for him." Smith answered.

"I still say we should have had him clean the delousing station, and had KP duty." Lebeau answered.

"It could have happened to any of us, if you think about it." Carter said innocently. There was a pause as everyone realized it was true.

"Are you kidding, we couldn't be that stupid." Smith rolled over onto his side.

"When was the last time you were out, Smith?" Doe asked.

"Why? I dunno, when I was captured. But I see girls all the time. We have them here constantly. Tiger, Helga, Hilda, Kalinke…"

"That's not the point, and you know it."

"Let's just get some sleep guys, the colonel actually turned the light off." Kinch tried to calm everyone down. Doe rolled onto his stomach he could hear Hogan pacing, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He slowly started to drift off listening to the steady rhythm.


Time paced slowly for the men in camp, but as Doe and Smith noticed, it seemed to stretch on forever for Newkirk and Colonel Hogan. The two men avoided each other whenever Newkirk was digging the tunnel entrance back, and Hogan refused to visit him in the cooler. "I don't want anyone visiting Corporal Newkirk, is that understood?!" While the men nodded, it was followed, but not necessarily understood. Some of the men, such as Lebeau and Smith had some fairly angry feelings towards Newkirk, while others such as Doe and Carter, had already forgiven the man. Watching their CO's reaction and expressions, they deduced he wanted Newkirk to have some time to think about what he had done, and almost had done, by isolating him in the cooler during the day. Of course it's difficult to completely ignore a man while he is working right next to you at night, right? Thus Doe, Carter, and a few other men founds themselves whispering to Newkirk as he worked, hoping their CO wouldn't catch them "fraternizing" with the condemned.

"Do you think the operation is gonna suffer, John?" Smith asked as he was hemming some pants in Newkirk's sewing room. Doe rethread the needle he was working with before answering.

"I don't think so. I think they just need some space. And with London off our backs for a few days I think everything will turn out. Once Newkirk is out of the cooler, the colonel's men have gotten a little R&R, I think things will be back to normal."

"Always the optimist aren't you?"

"Always. Now if only Wilson could get the Colonel to take a little of his own medicine."

"What do you mean?"

"The Colonel should take a weekend and go into town. Maybe meet up with that one French agent, Tiger." Doe smiled. "I've heard Carter and Kinch and everyone talking about them."

"Oh yeah?" Smith placed the pair of pants he was working on down. "There done. I can't wait till Newkirk is out of the cooler. I hate sewing."

"He'll be out in about 5 days. Besides at least he's pretty much unburied the tunnel entrance. Give the guy credit for that."

"What's next on our Newkirk-Cooler Agenda?" As the two men worked through the list, the next five days came and went. Newkirk emerged from the tunnel looking tired, beaten, hungry (Lebeau had refused to feed him while in the cooler) and filthy. He said nothing as he entered the barracks.

Over the next month Newkirk slowly regained the trust of Colonel Hogan and the main team back, and by the time London sent them on their first large mission since the incident, Newkirk's mistake was all but forgotten. Except for one minor detail. While digging the tunnel back, Peter Newkirk had done one small thing. Using his lock pick, in the wall near the top of the ceiling of the tunnel he wrote in small letters: Peter Newkirk was here. This was followed over the next several months by every man in camp. The incident was never spoken about again, but the joke came to be that when one of the men was going into town, and would be stopping by the pub, that they should be careful, "not to pull a Newkirk." And the section of the tunnel directionally under barracks 2 soon became known as Newkirk Square in honour of him. Newkirk became a legend in camp, not only as he had managed to dig the tunnel entrance back out by himself in record time (gaining respect of the tunnel diggers), but for nearly getting them all killed (which was much funnier to the men in hindsight), and actually being allowed to set off explosives inside the camp. Indeed, as both John Doe and Bob Smith noted, life at Stalag 13 was back to normal.