Night Before Christmas

Rating M/NC-17

Summary: Christmas one shot - The girls were in the mood for payback against Emmett who was playing a certain christmas carol over and over again.

Song: Twas the Night before Christmas

Disclaimer: Author does not own the song, or any public/recognizable characters, including those from Twilight, by S. Meyer

"THAT'S IT!! I can't take it anymore!" Alice screamed over the sound of the song echoing from Emmett and Rose's room. She grumbled as she started to climb the stairs.

"You better watch out, you better not cry…" the song began again.

"That's right, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT.. I am going to make you cry, you jerk," Alice mumbled so low only Jasper and Edward were able to hear.

"What did she say?" Bella asked with a smile.

"Oh something about making Emmett cry," Edward replied with a giggle.

"How long has Emmett been playing Christmas music, and why is it so loud?" Bella inquired.

"This has been going on since about two o'clock this morning. He came home after watching that new Christmas movie, talking about how he was all in the Christmas spirit. He wanted to know if Rose wanted to 'Jingle his Bells." Jasper stood and walked over to the stairs to see if Alice was actually going up to Emmett's room. He was mentally preparing himself for the confrontation.

Emmett, of course, was oblivious to all this commotion. He was busily showing Rose that Santa was indeed Cumming to town. He loved the holidays, and singing Christmas music was one of his favorite holiday treats. "One" of his favorites. His other favorite was looking at Rose dressed as Santa's little naughty helper. She was definitely on the Bad Girl List, but if Emmett had anything to say about it she would be getting something big and hard for Christmas that wasn't coal.

"He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be BAD for goodness sakes," Emmett sang as he pulled Rose over to him and slapped her on the ass.

She raised an eyebrow at the gesture. "So we are going to be Sadomasochistic Santa Clause tonight, are we?"

"I'll be anything you want me to be, baby. Just let me open my presents a little early, you know I have been a good boy." Emmett growled as he grabbed a handful of Rose's hair and crashed his lips to hers with a ravished since of urgency. "But now that you mention it, it has been a while since I spanked that sweet ass. You know how I love your ass under my hands."

Rose moaned into his mouth as he continued to kiss her. He assaulted her mouth with all the fever he could muster in order to keep her from telling him to fuck off. It took a lot of foreplay to get Rose ready undertake a submissive role.

Today, however, she seemed more than agreeable to the idea. In fact, when she pushed away he expected to hear her tell him to go to hell, but instead she rolled over to the nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

She twirled them on her fingers, and wiggled her eyes up and down. Emmet thought he would go wild right there. He vaguely remembered hearing the "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" song start over on his CD player. He had set it to repeat, and turned it up as loud as it would go.

"Oh fuck yeah, baby. Let's do this." He could barely get his clothes off before he heard a loud banging on his door.

Emmett pretended not to hear Alice screaming on the other side of the door. He grabbed the cuffs, and placed one on Rose's wrist. Then he pulled the other end around one of the bars on the headboard, and latched the other to her second wrist.

"Oh baby, you look so good all tied to our bed. I am going to drive you wild." He placed his head between her tits and breathed in her scent. She was perfect. Everything about her was amazing. He pulled at one of her now perky peaks and rolled the other around with his tongue.

Rose let out a low growl, and pulled her head to the side. She was clearly getting into this.

"FUCKING EMMETT! Get your ass out here, or at least turn that damn song off. You are making me crazy. There are other people that live in this house you know… ROSE.. I heard you in there. I know what you two are doing…COME ON…open this door." Alice screamed and continued to bang on our door.

Emmett put all his thoughts away from the door, and poured his soul into the bound beauty before him. He was slowly making his way south, kissing Rose's tight stomach. He watched as goose bumps rose from her body. She shivered at his touch.

Once he arrived at the Promised Land, he began to nip and suck at her clit. He bit down hard, and then rolled his tongue over the sore spot. He looked up to see Rose's lust filled eyes. She looked like she was going to say something, and that only caused Emmett to worry. He was not ready for this to end just yet.

He pulled away for a moment, and heard Rose whimper at the loss of contact. "Don't you dare, move. I have you right where I want you. If you move or say a word, I swear I will not continue." He was trying to sound sexy and dominative, but really he was trying to prolong the enviable.

He dove in again and heard a satisfied moan escape Rose's lips, but unfortunately he continued to hear Alice at the door. FUCK, she needs to go away.

He covered her pussy with his mouth and fucked her with his tongue. He used his hand to massage her clit to heighten the pleasure. He could tell she was close as her hips thrust into his face to have him go deeper with his tongue. He rubbed, sucked, and thrust until it was clear she was going to come undone.

As she screamed her climax, Emmett continued to sing into her pulsing pussy, "SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOOOOWWWWNNNN!" Rose broke the headboard and snapped the handcuffs like it was a plastic toy.

Rose relaxed and smiled as she said, "OH MY…you are my jolly ol' elf."

Emmett sat back on his heel, and brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking off all the juices that had covered each one.

"I swear to everything. I am going to break this door down right now. You better get off that bed and get over here by the time I count to three. ONE…" Alice continued.

"You better get that…I don't want to be the one that has to explain to Esme what happened to one of her doors." Rose sighed as she looked above her head, "We already have to explain the headboard."

I gave her a quick look and said, "But Baby, Santa didn't get his turn. You won't want to send him out to deliver all those presents with a hard on, would you?"

"Just get the fuck up, and answer the door Emmett!"

"TWO!" Alice counted.

"Fine, but this is not over. We will have us a Merry Little Christmas later today," Emmett lamented.

Using his vampire speed, he had the door opened, by the time Alice said, "THREE!"

She came tumbling into the room. Emmett laughed and teased, "Well, little one. If I had known you wanted a threesome, I would have opened the door sooner."

"Gross, Emmett!" both girls chimed in at once.

"What?!" he said back.

"I didn't come up here to see what you were doing. I just want you to turn down that song. Seven hours of "Santa Clause is Coming to

Town", is too much." Alice squeaked as she found the stereo remote and turned the CD player off.

"So you are telling me that Jazz can't keep it up for seven hours? I feel so bad for you Alice. You want me to help with that? I would be happy to lend you my services for the evening."

A voice carried from downstairs, "I HEARD that you nub nut. Don't make me come up there too," Jasper yelled.

Rose breezed past him and down the stairs. He was sad to see that she had already changed out of her Vixen Elf costume and back into regular clothes.

Once the threesome hit the bottom floor, Emmett gathered Bella up in his arms. "Hey there, Bells! Merry Christmas!"

Bella giggled and replied, "Merry Christmas to you too, Emmett. I hear you enjoy Christmas songs."

"Hell yes. What is Christmas without a few good carols?" He beamed. "And Jenn's, And Shae's, And Lillie's, And Jessica's, And Meg's, And Lea's, And Shawna's, And…. Ouch Rose!" as she hit him on his shoulder.

Bella smiled at Emmett's silliness but pondered the thought, and said, "My favorite part of Christmas was when Charlie would gather us around the fire, and read us 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.' I always loved that."

Alice chimed in and said, "We can do that, too. You know we want you to feel at home here. Jazz, go light the fireplace. Everyone take your positions on the floor."

"God, Alice. Demanding MUCH.. We are supposed to ALL have fun. What if I don't find crawling around on the floor in front of the fireplace fun?" Rose grumbled.

"Fine, whatever. You just sit on your throne and don't have any Christmas Spirit. The rest of us are going to enjoy ourselves. Does anyone have the book?"

Emmett's eyes twinkled and he exclaimed, "Who needs a book? I know this shit by heart. You just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Collective groans could be heard around the room. "This better be good Emmett," Edward warned.

"Yeah Yeah. Don't worry so much, bro. I got this."

Emmett looked comical as he prepared himself for his monologue.

Twas the Night Before Christmas and all through the hut,

all the vampires were stirring cause they needed to bust a nut.

With Gedward and Gella all tucked in their beds,

we all knew that visions of sex would be dead...

This caused Bella to blush and tuck her face into the crook of Edward's arm. Edward was not amused. "Emmett! I don't think this is quite what Bella was talking about. Is there a point to this?"

Emmett merely continued as if he had said nothing.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

as Gasper had Galice laid out on a platter.

Her moans were like sonnets as she came to a head,

this caused our sweet Violet to rise from her bed.

"Emmett, seriously dude. Did you hit your head or something? Why can't you think of a story where we all have normal sounding names?" Jasper sighed exasperatedly.

Emmett was not deterred in the slightest.

She tore open the shutter and flew up the sash,

and yelled to the lovebirds, "Shut the fuck up or I will come out with a slash.."

Some people are sleeping if you just try to care,

so keep it down you fucking retarded pair."

Emmett glanced toward Rose and gave her a smirk, she looked at him un amused, and said, "I thought you wanted to continue opening your presents today. You better reel it in, little boy."

Emmett let out a loud belly laugh, and went on.

With a little old Gemmett so lively and quick,

He came to her side with his big old fat stick..

He spoke not a word but went straight to his job,

He threw down her panties and thrust into her his knob.

As she climaxed, he pounded her pussy so warm and tight,

And yelled, "Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a good night!"

Emmett's grin could not have been brighter as he sat on the edge of the couch, too proud of himself to speak.

There was absolute silence in the living room as all the couples absorbed the nasty sonnet that they just heard.

"Well, I thought it was very good. Thank you Emmett," Bella said, breaking the silence.

"See, at least someone around here has a taste for the Arts. Bells can appreciate a good poem when she hears one. The rest of you can go to hell," Emmett sulked.

"Suck it up, big boy. OK girls, let's go have some girl time while the boys play a little of their new video game." Rose proceeded to motion to the Alice and Bella to come with her into the kitchen.

When they were all far enough away from the boys, Rose winked at Alice. Bella looked confused, and started to say something, but Rose put her finger on her mouth and shook her head.

"So, Bella. We bought you some Egg Nog for the festivities tonight. Would you care for glass?" Alice asked as she was already reaching for a cup.

"Sure, that sounds great," Bella answered, looking suspiciously at Alice.

"Wait just a minute. I have heard that Egg Nog just isn't NOGGY unless you put a little Brandy in it," Rose giggled.

Bella covered her glass with her hand as Rose tried to pour a little into it. "You know I am not old enough for that. Charlie would kill me."

"Oh come on…Bella.. Live a little. Let your hair down and have some fun. Who knows? This might help with the 'no sex' clause you and Edward have secretly agreed to. No man can resist a tempting tipsy vixen," Rose declared.

"Oh, that's fine for you to say. The two of you aren't even going to have any. It will just be me getting silly, and Emmett laughing at me for the rest of my life about it," said Bella.

"Well, I don't know about the Egg Nog part, but I will try some of that brandy. I have heard that the taste isn't all that bad, and we can actually feel some of the effects of the alcohol for a bit. This might be a fun experiment," Alice chimed in.

Soon there were three glasses sitting on the table. Bella watched as Rose leaned around the corner of the room to see if anyone was listening, and smiled an evil grin as she returned to face Alice. Rose leaned into whisper something into Bella's ear. "Just go with whatever we do," and she winked at Bella's confused face.

Alice began, "Girls, I saw the most amazing product while I was shopping the internet the other day. It sounds like it would be something fun to try, so of course I bought it."

"Well, don't keep us in suspense. What was it?" Rose said in an almost forced voice. It came out like she was reading a script or something.

Alice looked at her with a grim smile and shook her head. "Anyway…. It is a cream for a man's private part. Well, it is for the WOMAN, but it goes on the dick. All he has to do is rub in this cream, and then the magic begins. Once he inserts his cock into the woman's pussy, she experiences more pleasure than she can even imagine."

Rose tried to keep from giggling as she glanced at the door and nodded. "Oh Alice. I need that so bad. Emmett and I have been having some 'problems' in the bedroom. I haven't told him, but he just isn't satisfying me the way he used to. Believe it or not, but I am actually getting a bit….BORED," she said in a lowered voice for effect, knowing full well they could hear this discussion.

Bella looked shocked and said, "Oh NO! Rose I can't believe it. The two of you seem so perfect for each other. What are you going to do?"

Alice grinned and put her hand on Bella's back, "Well, it is to be expected really. They have been fucking for over four decades. I mean, how many times can you get excited about the same old sex over and over and over again?"

"Oh Rose, don't cry. I am sure that if you talked to Emmett, he would try anything to spice up things in the bedroom," Alice said as she tried to soothe a comically desperate Rose.

"No, he would NEVER do something like this. I just know it. If only he would just try, it might save our marriage," she sniffed.

Alice paused for a moment, and looked at the other two girls and smiled, "Perfect. I have seen that our mission is complete."

The three girls lifted there glasses and gave a toast to their conquest.

Both Alice and Rose downed theirs in one shot, but Bella sipped hers and looked at Rose, "You will someday tell me what just happened, Right?"

"All in good time.." she laughed. "GOD, this stuff tastes like crap. Gross. How do you drink this Bella?" Rose exclaimed.

"Well, I have egg nog in mine. That helps with the taste I would guess, but it is still strong."

"Let's keep this party going up in our room. Our task here is finished," Alice stated as she reached for the bottle of brandy.

As the girls giggled up to the room, Emmett entered the kitchen. "So, Rose isn't happy with our love life." Downhearted, he picked up the tube of cream that Alice had mentioned but conveniently left on the kitchen table. "I'll show her that I can be adventurous in bed."

With that, he raced toward their bedroom to 'lather up'.

The girls all let out a loud laugh as they heard his door slam shut.

Bella, who was now in on the joke, asked, "It won't hurt him will it?"

"He's a big boy. He can handle it." The girls were having more and more fun as the drinks continued to flow.

"Hey, Rose. I thought you hated the taste. You seemed to be enjoying it now," Alice almost slurred.

"I am still not fond of the flavor, but the effects are wonderful," Rose laughed.

Alice got that far off look in her eyes again and then stated, "It won't be long now."

Suddenly the door to Emmett and Rose's room flew open. Emmett began calling, "Rose!! Rose!! I need you. Can you come here for a minute please?"

As graceful as a shy fox, she slid through the door. "What is it? You sound upset."

Emmett pushed her into the bedroom and slammed the door. "Something terrible has happened to little Gemmett. I think he is dying."

Rose tried to conceal her amusement, but a small smile graced her lips. "What happened? Were you trying to swing from the chandelier with it again?"

"No, I swear. I was just trying to 'spice things up' and I 'borrowed' that cream that Alice was talking about. I was going to surprise you and I poured on a thick coat onto little G, and now…now…he is….GREEN."

Rose could not stop the laughter now. It was either the alcohol or Emmett's pet names for his penis that got her, but she was laughing so hard that she almost fell over.

"This shit isn't funny. I think I killed him. At the very least, little G may never forgive me."

"Okay. Let's have a look. It can't be as bad as you are making it out to be. Did you try to wash it?"

"Hell, yes. I washed it. Rubbed it. Scrubbed it. Nothing is working. IT'S GREEN, ROSE…Like a fucking Christmas TREE or something."

He lowered his pants and let his cock spring free of his pants.

"Well, Deck the Halls…that is one BIG GREEN COCK!" Rose laughed.

"If you think this is so funny, I am going to leave. Someone can help me. This is serious. I am going to go show Carlisle." Emmett brushed past Rose has she laughed hysterically.

Just as he opened the door, Alice and Bella tumbled into the room. They had obviously been eavesdropping to the entire conversation.

Alice giggled and said, "Emmett, I have more lines for your poem. It just CAME to me."

"Little Gemmett is dying" he exclaimed with a wail.

"How will I survive from this sad sad tale?"

Oh, Poor Violet will be sick when it is seen,

That his loser ass cock has fucking turned green.

I know that she loves it, Whatever will she do?

Oh I know, buy a Magical Vibrating Rabbit or Two.

The best part about this electric love machine,

Is that it doesn't talk back, now isn't that keen?

All of the hysterics had alerted Jasper and Edward. They had been listening as well from downstairs. All three girls and both boys were laughing so hard they could not compose a complete sentence.

"That's right… Laugh it up… I am losing my BEST FRIEND and all you fucks can do is laugh. Thanks a lot. Come on Little G. Let's find Carlisle."

As Emmett marched out the door past the bodies in a laughing heap on the floor, he is met with a concerned Carlisle.

"What is this I hear about someone dying? What is going on?" Carlisle wanted to know.

Emmett stammered a bit, but then blurted out, "MY DICK IS GREEN, and IT IS GOING TO DIE!!"

Carlisle gasped and looked at his other kids laughing on the floor. "Emmett, I am sure this can be explained. Let me take a look."

Emmett started to pull his pants down, but was stopped short by Carlisle's hand, "In my office, please."

As he closed the door behind them, they could both still hear the echoes of laughing in the hall. "So, what seems to be the problem."

Emmett didn't say a word, but let his green peen speak for itself.

At the sight before him, Carlisle placed a hand over his mouth to keep his amusement at bay. Once he was composed enough he asked, "How did you get green dye on your penis?"

They stopped and stared at each other for a moment. Emmett seemed to be replaying his actions of the day. Like a thunderbolt it hit him, "THOSE FUCKING GIRLS!!"

He tore out of Carlisle's office, and raced back to his bedroom, not even stopping long enough to pull up his pants.

His little Green G was hanging out in all his glory.

"So this is the thanks I get. You fuckers killed my cock. How could you, Rose?"

Rose could see that Emmett was clearly not having any fun, so she decided to help him out just a little, "Sweetheart, I would never permanently hurt something so precious to me. It was just a joke. Thank of this as payback from your little prank in the woods."

She leaned in and helped him tuck himself back into his pants.

"But, Rose... Is he really going to die? I have visions of watching him shrivel up and fall off. Please tell me that isn't going to happen."

Alice took this as her time to speak up, "Of course not, silly. We have just the thing to help you return to your former glory."

Emmett's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Hand that shit over, you evil pixy. I can't take this anymore."

"Now wait just a minute. We have a few demands before we let you off the hook," Rose declared.

"OH YEAH? And what if I don't follow through," Emmett replied.

"Well, we hope you enjoy 'Going Green'," Bella giggled. All eyes were on her. Bella never made jokes about penises or sex. Her outburst took them all by surprise. "What?" she said. "It must be the brandy. I am feeling rather bold."

Everyone laughed, "If that's the case, you go first. What is something you would like of Emmett? Think hard. This type of opportunity only comes around once in a lifetime," Rose stated.

Bella thought hard, "I want you to stop talking about Edward's and my sex life. What we do or don't do is none of your business. No innuendos, no crass remarks, and no eye wiggling around me. You got it?"

"Now you're thinking. Alice? How about you?" asked Rose.

"Emmett is not a loud to play his stereo without headphones. I am sick and tired of having to hear him play the same song over and over and over."

"You sure that is all you want? This is a monumental opportunity," Rose asked.

Alice nodded her head, so Rose continued, "I want you to stop with the stupid pranks, and stop waving your dick around all the time. I am the only one that wants to see your cock, so keep it in your pants."

Emmett sighed in defeat, "Fine, Fine…but just give it to me already. I can feel this shit seeping into my skin. I don't want this to be permanent."

Alice handed him the cream he needed to get the dye off, but he was stopped by a weary Rose that eyed him suspiciously, "Do know that if you don't commit to all our demands, you might never know when this little tube might come popping up again. Next time your dick will be BLUE to go with your balls. Don't mess with me, lover boy."

He didn't reply, but only raced to the restroom.

After a few minutes, Jasper replied, "He must be feeling better. He seems excited about something."

Just then the door opened with a bang, and Emmett yelled, "Santa's BACK BABY..Now let's go open those presents you promised me. CAUSE…Santa Clause is CUMMING TO TOWN!"