"Silly Romantic" - December 18, 2009 -
Constructive criticism is welcomed whole heartedly.
He had hoped it would be a club meeting like any other, allot of nothing, just boring and entirely void of anything that would cause him more problems in life (after all - he had more than enough to deal with as it was), just a standard meeting that would end in sweet blissful release into the normalities of his life. He had hoped that he would be able to go home eventually, and be away, far far away, from all that had plagued and tormented his life in the recent past for a little while. Away from the SOS brigade, away from the alarmingly strange and problematic group of people that had wound their way into every facet of his living. Away from her. He had hoped so hard.
When he had arrived though, he knew, he felt, he saw, that this meeting would be different.
A table, surrounded by five seats had been arranged in the middle of the room. It was long, made out of hard dark wood. Haruhi sat at the head. Her face had a sickening look of pleasure wrapped onto it. A small smile, visible from her lips and through her eyes, sat just above her chin. She oozed of a malevolent confidence that surpassed what she normally bore about her. Like a lion on the savannah, teeth clamped into the neck of it's downed prey. The pleasure of inevitability.
It didn't help that the three other, one could almost say normal, members of the brigade were sitting around the table, not speaking. Not smiling. Not reading. Not wearing a ridiculously cute and revealing maid costume. No, abnormally not normal in their abnormality. Ha. His brain was starting to break.
Hesitantly he closed the door of the club room, and muttered a greeting to the group. Mikuru mumbled a hesitant reply, but other than that no one spoke. Haruhi's eyes, her laughing, overpowering, glowing, eyes bored into his skull.
"Sit down." Her voice practically cooed with delight.
No. He though. Oh no no No, this would definitely be anything but a standard meeting. She had obviously come up with something new. Something terrifying. Something to rob him yet again of his will.
So he sat. Directly opposite of the crew chief at the end of the thick table. He looked to his left, observing Koizumi. He spared him a glance - a glance that spoke volumes. His hands were both on the top of the table. Fingers slightly spread, obviously sweating. His face was tense, and in slight movement he pulled a wiery fake smile across his face. Dropping the smile he turned back to face Haruhi, and his fingers flinched. To his right he looked at the two girls, Yuki looking for all the world around her normal, save a slight waver in her eyebrows. Pulled lower than normal. Mikuru looked almost like a trapped squirrel, a trapped beautiful squirrel, but a trapped squirrel none the less. Her eyes darted from each figure around the table to the next, shoulders bobbing as her hands under the table played with nothing. Her face looked strained.
Moments passed and the room started to feel like a pressure cooker. All Haruhi did was stare at him.
"What is this -", Mikuru squeaked and his head pulled sharply in her direction, peeling away from Haruhi's face.
"What is this all about," his eyes pulled back to Haruhi and leveled, "what's going on ?"
Haruhi's smile pulled further. Her teeth began to revel, small white and perfect. In a motion almost devoid of time they pulled apart and her voice burst into the silence, sharp but almost a whisper "I know."
He felt through the table, unable to peel his eyes from Haruhi, more than saw the shiver that ran through Koizumi's body, and the bumping of Mikuru's hands on the underside of the solid wood.
She knows. Good lord she knows. Hah. His palms started to sweat and all he could do was rub his fingers over them under the table. "Know what, Haruhi?"
She stood then, slamming her chair back with a force that sent it tumbling to the floor. Her hands pressed the table forward, shoving it slightly into his sternum. Koizumi pulled back and stood - backing quickly to the wall - Mikuru simply fell over in her chair and scrambled away on the floor. Yuki didn't move. Grabbing onto the front of the table and jerking his head up to look at her, he tried to steady himself for what might come next, for what he hoped to any merciful being wouldn't come next -
Her eyes were on fire now. More than confident. Omniscient. Her tiny little fingers gripped hard into the wood and it splintered around them. Her smile, dear lord, her smile was pure insanity.
Her voice was almost a whisper, but it reverberated with a force only she could make. "I'm God."
Dear Lord she knew.
He couldn't help his eye from twitching.
He stood then - and tried to run, he really did try, but found reaching the door, that it was sealed. Sealed by her.
The table snapped in half, split straight down the middle. He had guessed maybe that it had been oak. Sturdy thick and strong. Shred by the soft little hands of a young girl. Yuki had to move now - backing to the wall where Mikuru was sitting against. Moving straight through the middle of the split Haruhi came. Her eyes had never left him.
"I though hard for a long time you know." She was coming at him, dainty footsteps in between the splintered wood on the floor. "About all of you. About who you really must be. About why you were here. You're all just the embodiment of what I want." She never blinked in her stare. "What I desire." She had reached the end of the table now. Moving slowly. She had intent, but dear Lord for what he didn't know. As she cleared the table, his brain - adrenaline pumped and firing on all cylinders - finally found it's stick shift and popped into drive, wiling his legs to move and slowly stumble around the perimeter of the room. Approaching Koizumi. She followed. Never moving her eyes off of him.
"I Have a time traveler," as he passed by Koizumi, still slowly moving away from the approaching girl, her right arm jabbed out pointing to the sitting form of beauty on the ground, to Mikuru - her eyes wide and watching - pensive, then dropping back to her side. Haruhi practically glowed with light. " I have an Esper," she jabbed her left arm at Koizumi, now passing him in stride, smile never leaving her face, intense and pure in passionate delight. "A space alien," again jabbing her left arm out this time pointing at Yuki. "And I have you," both her hands jabbed forward, her elbows at a square, hands cupping, almost in an inviting way, "I have you Kyon, and you must love me."
Oh Dear lord,
"You must love me, you must, just as I love you - it's why you're here Kyon" she kept moving forward her tiny cupped hands bouncing with each exclamation as if to emphasize her feeling, facing him with that ever present smile - so beautiful and dangerous, and he kept retreating, the back wall of the room directly to his left now. "You have to." She almost sounded desperate, her eyes boring holes into his face. Her feet lurched forward, faster than before and her eyes took on a hard sharpness in their depth, "stop walking away from me Kyon." But he didn't, instead he shook his head - bouncing from shoulder to shoulder.
Her arms pulled down into delicate shaking fists. Her smile straightened and pulled thin, and she used her ability, she used her godhood.
His body found itself pressed into the wall. Head snapped to the side, and the plates of his skull ground rather painfully against the splintering plaster of the wall. From an outsiders perspective, his body would have looked caught in a web, the cracks in the wall spreading outward to seem almost like finely spun spider silk. He grunted.
"You have to love me." She stated. "you must." The finality in her voice was a little concerning to Kyon. The room around them all groaned from a force unseen. The whole building seemed to be screeching. She walked forward , coming closer to him. His head pulled forward against his will, His eyes looking at her face. Her petite beautiful face. She wasn't smiling now. Her face was set, her mouth in a hard line and her eyes almost sad.
"I told you already, I thought long and hard." Her hands were still in small fists. Almost comical in the fact that such tiny things held more power than anything in the world. "I thought about you, about who you are, about what you do, about what you've done, and I love you. And you have to love me back."
No. No. No no no no no no no no no maybe - no she was beautiful, but love. That was something else. He was definitely attracted. He was definetly a little more than attracted. He stuck around for allot of reasons, but love - he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if he loved her. She wanted him to love her.
"No." Oh dear lord.
She was obviously unhappy with this. Her slight frame shook, and she crumbled to the floor. She pulled her legs into her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Yes." Her head bowed into her knees. "Yes you must."
"No. You can't force me into this," desperation lined his thought process, the need for freedom, the need for choice, "I have to want it - I have to -" Her head snapped up, and she snarled, breaking into his retort.
"I'm GOD", her eyes bored into his again. "I can do anything, I can make anything happen. It doesn't matter." She snapped her body rocking forward, defying the laws of gravity, straight to her feet. Her hands reached out and grabbed him by the sides of his face. "I can do anything. Tell me what you want! Tell me what it would take for you to love me! Do you want money? Do you want power?" Her eyes were on his, burning with an inhuman force. "I can give you anything, I can make anything happen. Do you want me to be different? Do you want me to be someone else?" Her face seemed to dissolve in front of her, replaced instead by another, soft and heart shaped with sweet light honey colored hair framing it - Mikuru.
"No - NO," her head snapped back to her, back to deep brown hair and glowing hazel eyes. "No - I don't want that - I don't need that -" Mikuru was attractive - sure. She was beautiful, but no he didn't love her, he didn't want her -
Her face changed again, purplish hair and eyes of soft caramel. A vision of alien beauty.
"NO - stop that, I don't want them -" His head felt like it was in hyperdrive, his thoughts running around in circles of panic. What did he want? Who did he want? What was important to him? Again her face pulled back to normal, her eyes desperate and wanting. Wanting an answer.
"What do you want?" Her head was inches from his, her hair he noticed for the first time, in a tight ponytail. Or had she just made it that way? "Because I want you, and if I can't have that everything is done!"
"I want time!" he yelled out, "Give me time!"
And that's what she did.
The world around him seemed to stretch and pull away - replaced by stunning white in all directions Her hands were still on his cheeks, soft warm and inviting. She stepped back and stared at him. Always staring, loving, wanting, hating and needing. He seemed to drop, and land - no longer pressed to a wall, but sitting on sunlight.
Haruhi sat, directly across from him. Waiting. Giving him Time.
So he took it.
He took it and thought.
He had hoped for something earlier in the day. Hoped for something when he woke up. He had hoped. He had wanted. He had hoped and wanted normality. He wanted a life that was slow pace. A life that came with time, one that was brought about day by day, working and growing. A life that developed. A life that was natural. He wanted a life and a love that he wanted, not one that was forced on him.
He was tired of hearing that he had to. That everything depended on it. He wanted. He wanted. He wanted.
She was beautiful. She was lovely and in her own way caring, he thought. She loved. She loved him. She wanted to give to him. She wanted to give him more, she wanted to give him abnormality. She wanted to give him something fast pace, something alive and growing. She wanted to give him excitement. She wanted to be with him, to develop with him, to experience life with him.
She wanted to wear a ponytail for him.
And so he explained.
He told her that he wanted a life that was normal, not godly. A life that was his choice, not his must.
A relationship that was day by day - not immediate, not a shotgun wedding.
He wanted to have a life with another person, because in and of itself that was excitement enough. It was enough. She just needed to try it to find out. She needed to try the normal to see if it could really be classified as normal. To try the boring to see if it really was.
He told her that he wanted to have time, time together to decide. Time alone, time together but with others, time playing, time exploring, just time. Time with each other.
He told her that for him love was time, time and experience; that it seasoned with age and involvement, that theirs would get better just like a fine wine, that he could love her, but that he needed to know her, that he needed to choose her. But that he was only willing to do this, to try this, if she didn't use her powers. If she didn't try and affect it to her will. But that it needed to be pure and real. That it needed to be a choice.
That it had to come from both of them.
She was, shockingly, quiet throughout. Attentive of his words and his meaning. And when he was done she was smiling again. Her eyes were warm, and in her usual way she breathed out a retort with love.
"You silly romantic."
But that was OK. Because she was willing.
"You need to understand," he needed to make sure about this, "You need to understand Haruhi, that if this doesn't work out - that if I don't end up loving you - or if you end up loving someone else -"
"I promise I won't write you out of existence Kyon." She was still smiling. "You don't need to worry." She stood, and again he was back in school. She had disappeared.
He was standing in the doorway, where it had all started, an abnormally normal scene playing out in front of him. Yuki, sitting in a corner, a large sturdy looking book being read, Koizumi sitting at one of the desks preparing a game of chess to be played, and Mikuru floating around the room offering tea to all in her maid outfit. He paused in his entry and looked down at his watch, checking the time and date. Of course, he thought, Haruhi had simply put things back the way they should be. Back to the normal abnormality.
Looking back up, and scanning the room for the girl he had decided to try and love, he found her absent. He started to move forward, a desire to inspect more closely and to wait for her arrival if not found, when he felt a slight pressure of a small hand on his back, and the cheery voice of a God.
"I'd like to see you start trying today. Walk with me to the expensive cafe down the way, and we can see how things go." Her hand drifted off his back as he turned to see her walking down the hall.
"And you're paying."
Koizumi looked up at Kyon, and smiled. He mouthed the words good job, and gave him a thumbs up. Kyon slammed the door shut, turning to follow Haruhi.
My apologies if the characters are AU. I only stumbled on to this anime a little while ago, and have experienced most of it via other fanfiction. I find it a cute concept though.
I would have liked better to have had some scenes of Kyon remembering past events with Haruhi as he thinks, and as she sits, but as I said, my familiarity with the series is rather weak.
If you can find the time, do please let me know how I can improve my writing.