A/N: This is my first attempt at a Maximum Ride fic. I'm on 'Max' right now. Haven't started it yet. Must save it until March, right before 'Fang' comes out. So hope you like my first try!
Don't own Maximum Ride, but a girl can still wish. But shooting stars hate me anyways.
Typing for Iggy
This is yours truly, The Gasman, typing up Iggy's profile/autobiography. He's right here babbling along side of me, saying stuff about bein' blind and all that. He has no clue that I am obviously not listening. Maybe I should search for some explosions and stuff. Yup. Iggman, you keep talking and I will search bombs. This laptop is untraceable… Hehehehe. No government guys to stop me now!
WOAH! THERE'S A MUSHROOM CLOUD THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ACTUAL MUSHROOM! …It makes so much more sense when you see it online… Makes you wish you could eat it…
Iggy's still talking… More blind stuff. I kinda feel for him. It'd suck when you couldn't see diddlysquat.
'Kay. Hold on. Must leave for a second. Fang's taking over. Say 'Hi' to Fang! Be back…when I feel like being back. Bye now!
Fang here. Gazzy…is feeling a bit like himself so I sent him off about half a mile away so he doesn't stink up our temporary camp somewhere in the middle of Somewhereville. And if that's an actual town, we're not there. If it's not, so long suckers that are trying to track us online. You're gonna get nowhere.
So if you haven't been reading my blog, I'm Max's right-wing man. Literally. Since we got the wings and all that cool stuff. I can turn invisible sometimes. Then Max gets all pissy and throws a little tantrum about me being gone. She worries too much. I can take care of myself.
Max is staring at me wondering why I'm not listening to Iggy talk right here. He just said "and". A word from him. See it? Right there. It's obvious I've got another tab up so I'm typing for my blog as I type this for Iggy… He has no clue that Gazzy left. Poor guy. We all wish we could take him back to Antarctica so he could see again. That was the most incredible thing we'd ever seen in probably our entire lives. I mean…wow. He could actually see. Courtesy of all the whiteness.
Snow still sucks no matter what. You can't fly in it!
Feeling color has to rock though. I mean, you can tell it makes you like happy or sad or very grumpy (we all have an issue with gray and white). But actually FEELING it… I wish I could do that…
Enough about him. Max is being a butthead. I dare not type other, meaner words because Angel could be reading my mind and that would be very bad for her little six-year-old self. We have to be careful. Stupid mind readers. And Angel, please don't hear that!
I'm listening to some music now… 'Jumper' by Third Eye Blind. Why not listen to it?
Crap. Iggy caught on. That's the reason not to listen to it because he's blind, not deaf! Dang it. Okay. Laptop is being handed over to Max.
Iggy can make good food. I can't. He can build bombs. I can't. I can drive a car. He can't. Although he likes to ask a lot…
Maximum Ride here and above this ^. See. Right up there. That's stuff about Iggy. I read through what Fang wrote and for the record, I am not a butthead. But at least he was nice enough to think nice words for Angel. The mindreading thing does creep people out.
The Voice is deciding to talk to me right now. It's saying a bunch of crappy Yoda lines. Sounds like something Fang would say if he had half a brain… Scratch that. If he had a brain cell. Hope he doesn't read this.
Iggy…hmm… There aren't many words to describe him… He falls over a lot, mostly when we move furniture or forget to tell him what's in the way. At least he doesn't fly into trees. Very often, that is. We wish he'd forget about it and live without the regret and stuff.
He knows I'm not typing what he's saying… Man, I'm even talking about him and I'm in trouble…. This is the hard part about being the leader. There's no direct way in and obviously no way out without some guilt. Dang it.
Nudge. Nudge. I should change my name to, like, Supergirl or something. Or just start going by Monique maybe. I don't know. Iggy's got a cool name. Iggster. The Igman (like The Gasman, but Iggy-ified). Igmeister. Ignatius or something like that. I mean, there's a thousand possibilities out there for his name. Nudge. Nudge. Nudgity Nudge Nudge Nudge. Not much!
It's one word. One boring, stupid little word. How hard can it be to find a nickname for me? Oh well.
The internet says black is the new pink, but I'm thinking, "INTERNET SAY WHA'???" Pink will always be in style. Forever. It's a color that never goes out. If any color should be the new pink, it should be tawny. You know, like these cute wings I got sticking out most of the time. Why is tawny never in style?
Iggy. I should talk about him a little more. He's got pretty wings. Maybe pretty is the wrong word since he's a guy and all that. Okay, awesome wings. Better? He doesn't talk as much as I do. His eyes are pretty (I meant awesome) too. And I like his earring. I wish I had earrings…
I gotta go bug Max about that. She'll be crazzyyyy if I bring Angel to help. Fang's right here so he'll type for a second.
Okay, so my blog has like a bajillion gazillion hits. I know that's not a number, but whatever. We didn't go to a real school like other kids so our education is lacking a bit.
Crap. Max is coming. She doesn't think I have a brain. Moron. Gotta fly for a second. She might take the laptop. Dang it. Then Fang be sad. Fang don't wanna be sad no more. Not when she's a moron… Grr… I oughta go after her just to piss her off.
Iggy says screw us all… More words from him. Don't you love it? He should watch his mouth if Angel comes around…
Fang, out! And hiding…
Max here. Fang is an idiot. No, I'm not a moron. He is. He forgot that moving makes him visible again. Duh! No Nudge cannot have earrings. Dang it. Gotta find Angel before she does… Running for a moment. Be back eventually.
ToTaL iS tHe DaWg! YuSh I cAn TyPe ToO. AiNt ThAt FuNkY?
Angel here. Total used his tongue on the keyboard… EEEEEWWWWWWW!!! I love him, but he DOES have those teeny tiny little things called paws! My guess is, they're cleaner than his tongue! But his tongue is cute too…
Iggy sounds mad… He's thinking mean words… He's wondering where my brother went. Gazzy disappeared about ten minutes ago… I think Max is looking for me. So is Nudge apparently. Fang is hiding in a tree. He's not invisible yet. Maybe he should get a stopwatch to see how long it takes before he disappears… That'd be cool! Is there an internet stopwatch somewhere?
LOOKIE! A BUNNY RABBIT!
Or at least something close to one... It turned out weird...
Akk roght scrdw dhem. Ni onr us doim rhis foor mw so ill tipee iy maself. Aghel hoeed mr de kayz tii tipppe wut sz u remmmennbed and noo u riwe. Ihhy herr dn i'n blinee sozz is yoo cnr rad dis migte wamma gid upo.
aTuelly, screew is. I guff up.
A/N: the end is hard to translate so look at the keyboard and assume the best that you can. No guarantees you'll get it right. But at least try because that took me awhile to write. This is only my first try. Don't flame plz! as always, R&R. Tell me if I'm any good or if I should stick to my usual stuff.