This is just a short-ish two-shot about someone we really don't see hardly anything about, and has only been on the show once. Josh. And I've got to say, it was really pretty fun to flesh out his character a little and decide what he really is like and why he acts the way he does. However, out of everything that I decided on about him, I never actually figured out a last name for him. Oh well. ;-) Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance.
Lowly Mail Carrier
Josh's Point of View
I'd always thought, and hoped, that my lowest point in life would've been when I decided to deliver mail around a giant studio for a bunch of celebrities, for next to nothing as my paycheck. Unfortunately, I had been wrong.
I had just now reached my lowest point, hiding in the bushes and being reduced from probably the worst job in the studio, to scummy spy. Worse even, than sleazy journalist who prints lies about the very celebrities I delivered mail to. Well, maybe not worse, but my level of low certainly felt like I was somewhere in that neighborhood of scum.
It wasn't like I'd meant to end up here, spying. This was all an unfortunate coincident.
Of course, I wouldn't have ended up where I was today if it hadn't of been for me taking that mail carrier job. Yes, for almost six years now, I'd worked at Condor Studios as the lowly mail carrier. I first started when I was sixteen, and it was only my part time job. And after having to deliver the mail for a full year to people like Tawni Hart and Chad Dylan Cooper, I'd had every intention of quitting when I found a job elsewhere that would be much less demeaning.
But then, I saw her. She was wearing a fat suit and waitress' uniform with a beehive-styled wig on her head. Talking to her- and conning her out of her frozen yogurt –was Chad Dylan Cooper (also known as, the guy who still couldn't get my name right). Her name was Sonny Munroe, and she was absolutely completely perfect, just the way she looked in that first moment.
After I first saw her, I knew I had to meet her. Quitting my job was no longer an option as I needed an excuse to casually meet her. When we did finally first meet, I was delivering a stack of menus from another Chinese restaurant to her, Tawni, and Zora. They had just gotten done with their show onstage, and Sonny was dressed as a giant gingerbread cookie. It was almost unfair how she still looked so perfect dressed up in such an odd costume. I gave her, her menu personally, she smiled sweetly, thanked me, and I got kicked out the door by Tawni before I could say hardly anything to her.
A couple of weeks passed by and for some reason I couldn't understand, Tawni always insisted taking Sonny's mail to her, herself. This irritated me to no end since I didn't have a hope of ever getting her to like me, much less talk to me, and my only opportunities to even see her were when I could deliver her, her mail. And here was this spoiled, stuck-up blond taking my only joy in my crummy job away from me. I couldn't revolt though. How could I when I was the lowly mail carrier? My only two options were to stay and catch brief glimpses of Sonny when I could, or quit. Quitting was still not an option I could consider.
I was sure glad I stayed, since eventually, my only solace in that wretched studio was returned and every day, I was able to deliver Sonny Munroe her mail. Sometimes, I even purposefully forgot to give her all of her mail just so I could see her twice. I never actually got a chance to really talk to her though. She was always so busy with her friends, the show, or… him.
Yes, somehow, whether she could admit it or not, she'd become absolutely fascinated with that dolt of an actor, Chad Dylan Cooper. In Sonny's defense however, she was not shallow in her fascination with him. From what I could gather from a distance, what mostly intrigued her were his spurts of kindness and caring, why he only expressed them towards her, and the mystery behind all of it.
Sonny corrected him whenever she was in the same room and heard him say my name incorrectly. She would get annoyed with him for it, but still have this inane desire to be around him and with him. I'm no mind reader, but it was still pretty clear the way it seemed she purposefully dragged out petty arguments with him.
It was always like this for Chad, I supposed. Girls loved him for his hair, his eyes, his smile… Basically everything that had to do with his appearance and what he appeared to be. What I hated though, was that Sonny wasn't even falling for Chad for superficial reasons. That almost made it harder to bear and watch. She was falling for him as an actual person. The personality traits Chad only showed towards Sonny won her over, whether either were aware of it or not.
It was kind of a crushing thing, this rejection. Not that I wasn't used to rejection, I was. After all, I was a computer geek who wore glasses, had frizzy brown hair, and was so shy it often came across like I had no personality. My very being didn't scream girl magnet at all. I was more like the hopeless girl repeller. So yes, I was used to rejection in one form or another at that point. But it was one thing to be rejected by a girl who loved the superficial, made up side of Chad Dylan Cooper and a whole other thing to be rejected by a special girl who loved Chad for who he really was.
This not only made me sad, but it irritated me as well. He didn't even really love her, much less like her, the way that I did, and still do. Did Chad still consider Sonny beautiful when she had on fake warts on her face, or when she was dressed like a teapot? Did he know that her favorite color was purple and that she had an unexplainable love of plaid? Did he know that she knew how to skateboard quite well and liked to watch football with her mom? Or that every time she watches Titanic she can't help but cry and that she's a sucker for a good romance movie? Did he love the way she squealed and hopped up and down when she was excited or did he really find it all childish? Did he truthfully think she was gorgeous just the way she was or did he really only know and love the gorgeous girl Sonny had transformed herself into once she started caring how she looked when Chad saw her? I doubted it.
I mean, I really knew a lot about Sonny. Not in a creepy way though, like I don't even know her phone number or where she lives, but I just paid attention to her whenever I could. In the Commissary, in the halls, while I was delivering her mail, and then I also just paid attention to the answers she gave in interviews. You can't blame me for being curious.
Of course, there is too curious, and in the beginning, I can admit that I did ask someone on So Random to just tell me everything that they heard about Sonny during the day, for one day. I asked Zora, since the girl hung out in the vents and would surely hear a lot about Sonny from other people and Sonny herself. That day I actually did find out a bit about Sonny, and that at least two other guys in the building thought she was pretty.
I never asked Zora to again, though, after that first day. There were three reasons I never asked her after that. One was because it felt wrong and like an invasion of privacy. I just felt that, that was… too extreme of a measure, I guess. Two was because Zora charged me an exorbitant amount of money for the service and I didn't think I could swing that every week, much less every day. And three was because, quite frankly, Zora scared me. I don't know what it was about her that scared me, though. Maybe it was the fact that she could rig a cold cut catapult, or that she knew so much about medieval torture. Or, maybe it was just that she was only eleven and was already smarter than most people, and had a devious streak. Either way, after that I found out more about Sonny the normal, non-creepy way.
So, my observations and general pining for her continued for… oh, about five years. You'd think I'd have gotten over it. Nope. Unfortunately, I still had an unhealthy love for Sonny, and a slightly irrational loathing of Chad Dylan Cooper. And yet somehow I couldn't look away as I saw their relationship evolve from the fighting, and then slowly, the flirting, the realizations, the actual dating, the breakup, the makeup- heck I had been there for the makeup! Come to think of it, I'd helped them get to where they were today more than I even remembered.
I remember now though.
Back then, I was always ready for any shred of an opportunity to come for me to somehow be with this amazing girl. There was never any doubt in my mind that should an opportunity come, I would jump at it. How could I pass it up? How could anyone pass it up?
Even science geniuses make mistakes…
It had been five years almost to the exact date that I first saw and foolishly fell in love with Sonny Munroe. I was going about my business, delivering the mail at this gosh awful job. The only reason I was still working in this rat hole part time while I was in college was so I could I see Sonny every day. I was only two turns in the hallway away from stage three where Mackenzie Falls taped when I came across Sonny, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her head in her hands.
"Sonny?" I addressed her quietly.
She lifted her head from her hands and sniffled pitifully. She'd clearly been crying since long dark streaks of mascara ran down her cheeks, and her whole face was red and splotchy. Sonny's small fists now resting on top of her knees were smudged black where her thumbs folded under her index fingers. The black had most likely been her eye shadow, and she'd rubbed it off, explaining why her eyes were ringed like a raccoon's.
"Josh," Sonny stated in surprise, quickly scrambling to get off the floor and act like nothing was wrong. Of course, two swollen bloodshot brown eyes looking up at me said otherwise.
"What happened?" I questioned her with a little more volume.
Sonny shrugged casually and forced her pale lips into a half smile. "Psh, psh, nothing. I'm just… you know… nothing."
For someone who could act better than that blond dolt ever gave her credit for, Sonny was a terrible liar. I hadn't known until that moment. I made a mental note and moved on.
"Really?" I asked.
Sonny's half smile faded as she let the corners of her mouth fall down and her top teeth bit into the left side of her lower lip. "Well, uh… No, not really, I guess," she admitted reluctantly.
I didn't know what to say, and I all I could do was stare at her and hope she didn't think I was trying to be rude or uncaring.
Her brown eyes stared back into mine for a few seconds before she looked away awkwardly and rubbed her shoulder in a nervous manner. "Okay, okay, I'm not okay. It's just…" She looked back up at me. "You know Chad, right?"
Do I know Chad? Ha. Yes, yes, I do, Sonny. More than you do, in fact.
"Well, you know that Chad and I have been kind of… dating for a while?" Sonny checked hesitantly. It was almost like she knew about my crush on her and was trying to be careful with what she said. Gosh, I hoped not.
Yes, actually, I'm more aware of the fact that you're dating him than I'd like to be.
I nodded my confirmation again.
Sonny swallowed hard and wiped a few remaining tears off her cheek with the back of her hand. "So, um, Chad used to really date around a lot before we started dating, and he's been really good and not cheated on me for the whole time… that I knew of."
Oh, yes, I most definitely knew about this. The blond twins he dated at the same time, Miss Gomez in secret, and pretty much every pretty girl he worked with on a show or movie. That was yet another reason why Sonny deserved so much better than him. What I hadn't known about, though, was that he'd been unfaithful to her apparently. I should've expected as much.
I wished I could give her a hug or any kind of comforting physical contact but I couldn't. Not only would that freak her out since I hardly ever spoke with her about anything, but I was also way too much of a chicken to do anything of the sort.
"And yesterday rehearsal ended early for me so I went to go see him on set and when I got there…" Sonny's eyebrows crinkled and she bit her lip again. She sniffed and continued talking. "And when I got there, I saw him kissing another girl. And I know that it's not for Mackenzie Falls, it wasn't for rehearsal or anything. I know who is guest starring this week and that girl is not… at all," Sonny's voice broke and she covered her mouth with her hand for the briefest of moments before she pulled herself together again. She sniffed quickly. "And when I saw it happen yesterday, I just… I just panicked, so I left and went home. I've been avoiding him this whole time until today."
Though my facial expression didn't change, my outlook on things did. As sorry as I'd been when she was telling me what happened, this was my beacon of light. My hope. The direction her words were headed were saying she was a free woman now and that meant perhaps it was time for me to step up.
And then she mentioned that this took place yesterday. All it took was that one little clarification to dim the light at the end of my depressing loveless tunnel of life. My hope took a hit by fifty percent.
Because, the kicker was, I'd been there when it happened. I knew the whole story because I'd had to wait around for Chad to finally just take his mail since he likes getting all of his fan mail handed to him personally. I'd been there during his audition for a new romance movie, and for the audition, he'd had to kiss the girl who had already been cast in the movie to see what their chemistry was like. So he really had not been cheating on her.
…But wait. Shouldn't Sonny already know this? Didn't Chad defend himself or did he really not care about her that much, and didn't have any problems just letting her go?
Sonny cleared her throat softly, apparently only taking a break in her explanation as she made sure her voice wouldn't falter again. "When I went to confront him about it just now, he said that he didn't cheat on me, and that I was blowing it all out of proportion. Then he said something about some stupid audition but I walked out before he could get it all out," Sonny finished relatively calmly, tucking a piece of her straight black hair behind her ear.
I couldn't remain silent after she'd shared all of that with me, so I opened my mouth to say something– anything –but Sonny started speaking again at a rapid pace.
"And, you know, I totally should've seen this coming. I mean, dating a celebrity? Pfft." Sonny waved it off as though it were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of. I could see genuine hurt filtering through the holes in her cover up though.
"Since when does dating a fan ever work out?" Sonny questioned rhetorically.
I blinked. Did she expect me to fit an answer or confirmation that I was still listening in between her endless talking? What was I supposed to say? "You're right. You were an idiot." Yes that would go over swimmingly.
"Because in reality, I'll always be the same old Wisconsin girl who won the chance of a lifetime, and I'll never be a 'real' celebrity. I'll always just be like one of the fans. I shouldn't have even thought about dating Chad. I would have been better off dating someone normal." Sonny's frantic, freshly-watery eyes flickered to my face. She gestured with a small hand towards me and blinked rapidly. "I'd have been better off dating someone more like you." Her voice was taking on a more squeaky tone as she started to lose the ongoing battle with her tear ducts.
This was where I would have to end it. I couldn't just let her cry over someone who, this time, didn't do anything wrong. Boy did I hate admitting to that. Not to mention the fact that I couldn't take listening her say that she would've been better off with someone more like me. Because that was too close to saying she'd be better off with me, for me to be able to handle and still do the right thing.
Of course… What had Chad Dylan Cooper ever done for me? Why should I do this for him? I owed him nothing. I could just let Sonny believe that everything that she thought had happened was all true. I could even turn the tables in my favor since she already brought up being better off with someone like me. Yeah… Why couldn't I? And the better question being, why shouldn't I?
I looked down at Sonny. She was looking at the wall past me while she swiftly used her fingers to wipe away her tears. A frown appeared where my poorly timed half smile had been moments before. Oh yeah. That was why not.
How could I realistically live with myself and lie to Sonny? And hurt Sonny purposefully just so that I could have a small chance with her? It didn't really matter what I thought of that blond-headed gadfly at all in this situation.
Sighing, I took my right hand off the handle of my mail cart and used it to push my glasses back into place on my nose. "Sonny," I said quietly and slightly reluctantly.
Sonny looked up at me with her big brown, watery eyes. "Yes?"
I glanced uncomfortably away from her to stare at the wall. "Chad was kissing the other girl for a movie audition," I told her tonelessly.
She blinked in surprise and a glimmer of hope flashed across her face. "What?"
"I was there. It was for an audition. He didn't cheat on you." That was a lot harder to say than I thought it would be. I absolutely loathed having to stick up for the pigheaded actor who made this job three times more awful every day.
An automatic small smile lit up Sonny's face again but she controlled it and pulled her eyebrows together seriously. "He didn't tell you to say this did he? He's not paying you or something?"
Uh, yeah right. Like I would ever A) accept money from that guy or B) help him win back the girl that I loved. Not likely in any lifetime.
Sonny watched my expression for a few moments before she nodded to herself and rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. "Heh, right. This is Chad we're talking about. He still calls you Jeff… Right." Rocking back and forth on the heels of her shoes, she shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. "So you really are telling the truth, aren't you?"
Unfortunately. If there ever were a good time to be either wrong or lying, it would be now.
"Yes," I confirmed truthfully. "I figured you'd want to know… Don't want to break up for no reason," I added quietly, cringing internally. Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much? For that matter, why did it seem like doing the wrong thing always looked easier and less painful? Why did everything that's good or good for you have to be hard to swallow?
Sonny smiled sweetly and made an "aww" face. "Well, thank you." Her eyes turned speculative. "Why haven't we ever talked before? You seem so sweet."
Well, Sonny, it's because you've been so busy with your friends, your show, and Chad and because I'm just too shy to talk to you in long sentences.
"We should hang out sometime. Have lunch, just talk, whatever," Sonny suggested brightly, taking her hands out of her pockets.
I slammed that door shut before I could even think of going there. That was a dangerous place to go to. Even being just friends with Sonny wouldn't be a good thing. Because that would never be enough for me and I couldn't be friends with Sonny and make my life even more dysfunctional. That wouldn't help anything.
"I can't," I stated shortly.
Sonny smiled in amusement and wrinkled her nose. "What?" she asked me as though she hadn't heard me right.
"I'm quitting my job here so I can spend more time on school so we'd both be too busy to really talk," I said, rushing through the words. The excuse had come out before I'd even thought about it. I knew I had to quit though. Not just so Sonny wouldn't get suspicious but because it would probably be ten times harder now to stay away from her and to let her be with someone else.
Sonny didn't seem offended by my somewhat lame excuse. "Aww, that's too bad. You seem like such a nice person," she told me genuinely.
I swallowed my grief and just offered her a lopsided smile. Yes, I seemed like a nice person who she thought she would like. But that could never be enough.
Footsteps in the hallway behind Sonny made her turn and I already knew how her face would light up as she saw that it was Chad, coming after her.
"Chad!" she exclaimed, hurrying over to him.
Chad's face brightened when he realized that Sonny was clearly not upset with him anymore.
Sonny all but threw herself at him in a hug, already launching into an "I'm so sorry I didn't even listen to you" speech while his own "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before" apology mixed together with hers.
That was my cue to leave. Hurriedly, I went back to my cart and pushed it away down the hall, deciding to deliver Mackenzie Falls' mail a little later.
Well, that had been dreadful. All this time I'd been dreaming about the chance to finally be with Sonny and then I went and… wasted it on helping Chad.
Okay, that wasn't true. It was the right thing to do and I suppose if I were to get a second chance at it, I'd do it again.
So, yes, in a way I had helped them get back together. It wasn't the first time I'd helped their relationship along though. It was just the first time I did it knowingly.
The first time was when I was reluctantly mentoring Chad for his small but crucial role in Law School Musical. I'd sent Chad backstage on So Random to deliver a package to Marshall after he'd practically begged me to let him do something. I'd been purposefully giving him a hard time all day by not letting him do anything and being beyond picky when I was teaching him things. All of these acts were starting to weigh slightly on my conscience, so I'd agreed to let him do something.
I didn't know until the next week when I was watching So Random that Chad had taken that opportunity backstage to do his first good deed ever for none other than Sonny. It was obvious to me who it was under the weird beard but probably not to anyone else. So that was an indirect nudge in the friends/maybe more direction for them from me.
That was really the only other time I could remember. There may have been others, but clearly they were so insignificant, even I couldn't remember them.
And so we've come full circle back to the point where I'm crouching down behind a piece of shrubbery outside of Condor Studios in the parking lot.
It had been three days since I managed to get Sonny and Chad back together which was also the day that I quit. Today was the day that I picked up my last measly paycheck.
I'd been on my way to my sorry excuse for a car to drive away from here for the last time when I came across Sonny and Chad standing next to Sonny's car (and my car two spaces down) talking. I hadn't wanted to interrupt or even have to walk by them together, so I'd gotten behind a one of the bushes planted right outside the studio's doors and just ten feet away from my car.
I'd planned on just waiting them out. I hadn't planned on ending up feeling like a filthy spy.
I couldn't really catch everything Chad was saying to Sonny. All I really heard was "sorry," "I wish," "do this classier" and "figured you wouldn't mind."
Sonny shook her head, smiling and said something like "what are you talking about?"
That was when I should've turned around and went back inside the building for just a few minutes before I left for home. Either that or I should've just looked away.
Because I didn't think I'd ever be able to get the picture of someone other than me, getting down on one knee, pulling out what looked like, and sparkled in the sun like, a huge diamond ring, and asking Sonny to marry him. Asking my Sonny to marry him.
Except that she wasn't my Sonny. She was Chad's. And judging by the happy tears and giant hug she gave Chad, she soon would be legally Chad's as well.
This was most likely the biggest metaphorical slap in the face I've ever gotten. Today hadn't just dashed my hopes of one day winning Sonny over somehow someway. This made all of my hopes completely and utterly impossible. It was like, what happened three days ago was like the small piece of fabric representing my small hope that Sonny might ever like me back being ripped into two pieces. But then, apparently, there had still been frayed strings of attachment barely holding the pieces together, because what happened today was a pair of giant scissors cutting those last few strings apart. And now I had nothing. If I didn't even have a small patch of hope left to rely on in my hopeless love for Sonny, than what did I have? Nothing, I supposed.
And technically, they may not have gotten to this point in their relationship if I hadn't done what I did. I wasn't going to go around telling everyone that, though. Especially not Sonny or Chad. And not just because it would feel too self-righteous and sound like I was saying they should be thanking me or whatever. No, it wasn't just because of that. It was also because, who would ever believe me? It's like, "yeah right. The mail delivery dude helped a celebrity couple who have been together for over two years reunite and then get engaged? Uh, sure…"
Numbly, I staggered to my feet, went back into Condor Studios, exited out the back way, and walked the long way back to my house. I could come and get my car back later in the afternoon.
Somehow, from this point on in my life, I would have to completely get over my five year crush/love for Sonny Munroe. Because if I didn't, my life would become even more pathetic than I could've ever imagined it would turn out to be. Being in love with an engaged woman? No. That would not be how I'd live my life. I was overdue for getting over Sonny anyway. Better late than never…?
And who knew, maybe someday after I got out of college and got a better job, I'd meet someone who would actually fall in love with the computer geek, the underdog, the quiet guy in the back of the room. Fall in love with me. I just had to keep remembering that someday that day would come for me, and that in reality, Sonny was never going to be mine. And today, I hadn't lost her. You can't lose what you never had in the first place. And I really never had her. Not even for a second. And before I could actually find someone else who I loved and who loved me back, I would have to get over Sonny.
And today would be have to be the day that I slowly unraveled the mile long quilt of my attachment towards her. The day that I would try to start living again. The day I would try to stop being hopelessly and pathetically infatuated with Sonny Munroe. And the day that I stopped wasting my time pining for someone who could never be mine in a million years. It was a new day, and a very, very hard day.
Every cloud has a silver lining though. At least now I no longer had to work as the studio's lowly mail carrier.
So, for this one, I was reading a super short little fanfiction about how Mike Newton felt one time when he saw Bella and Edward kissing in the cafeteria. And then a bunch of little what ifs popped into my head for a story idea, until I came to the final "what if" that made me write this one-shot. What if Josh, the mail carrier who we only see once in an episode, secretly liked Sonny and had to watch her and Chad's relationship evolve right in front of him? So from there, I wrote out this two page drabble about Josh describing his experience at Condor Studios and Sonny and Chad and Sonny with Chad. It needed more though. So, it underwent quite a bit of editing and adding (i.e. Josh helping Sonny and Chad out a little), and in the end, the whole original "ramblings" stayed, and just a lot of parts were added around it to give this two-shot more of a point and mini plot. In the end, I ended up really liking Josh and kind of really feeling sorry for him. :-(