Hi, this is what I'm entering for a writing comp. I know it isn't a fanfic, but no one has registered it's existence yet on fictionpress, so I hope someone will take notice of it this time. The topic is dreams, and if you can give me advice on how to improve I'd be very grateful. The word limit is 1000 words, and I've only written 858 words, so I will be able to add on at least a paragraph if you wish. The deadline is December 30th. Thx!!!
Easter Bunny xx
I stormed upstairs to my room. I hated them. My parents were so strict, preventing me from doing anything I wanted. I wished they would die. I switched off the light and lay in my bed, crying. No one else's parents were like this. I soon drifted off to sleep, not caring that I was still in my clothes, my face caked in tears.
I woke up and got ready for school like usual. My parents had already gone to work. My parents. Fury and hatred briefly flashed through my body like lightening. I felt confused, not understanding why I felt this. At school I didn't really pay attention to anything the teachers said, for a reason I wasn't sure of, as usually I hung onto every single word they said, being the nerd of the class. Today I was feeling very weird. I was starting to pay attention in last lesson, Science, excited that I was going home soon. Something clicked in my head, remembering something and I suddenly didn't want to go home. Something in my head made me feel as if home was the worst place I wanted to be, and going to school was a relief.
I didn't know what it was I'd just subconsciously remembered, and had no time to solve the mystery as a woman suddenly burst through the door, panic written all over her face. She had a whispered conversation to Parrot. My class immediately started throwing paper airplanes all over the room behind Parrot's back and chatting.
He turned round when he'd finished listening and then everyone was silent. He stared gravely at me, looking down at me from his big, parrot-like nose. "Sanya, please could you go with Miss Halven to the medical room. She will explain everything to you then."
I obeyed silently and followed her out of class and to the medical room. "Please sit down," She said shakily. I sat down, confused. "Your parents," she began. "Th-there was a fire at their house. And they were trapped. I'm so sorry." Pain overwhelmed me. At first. I then felt a mixture of pain, confusion and joy. She stared at me, obviously waiting for me to break down into tears or faint with shock. But I didn't.
Instead I just said in a flat tone, "Oh. So they're...you know, gone." She nodded cautiously, expecting a reaction. Her delicate brown eyebrows furrowed with worry and confusion, and her sleek black hair slid off her shoulders as she kneeled down to see my face better. I suddenly remembered something. I had wished that my parents would die. I didn't know when I wished that, but I did.
"What's happening to me now?" Was the politest question I could ask. At the same time, I was curious.
"You're being sent to a children's home. They're coming for you in an hour." An hour? I wanted at least a few hours freedom to do what I wanted. The panic must have shown on my face and Miss Halven's expression went to one of relief; I had made a reaction. I decided not to say anything.
The social worker, Karen, gestured for me to enter the building first. My hands felt sweaty as I entered. She led me to a room which was full of kids. She shut the door behind me. "Everyone, this is Sanya. She is joining us and I hope you make her feel very welcome." She smiled
The kids sneered at me and slowly came towards me one of them-a boy-whispered into a friend' ear, "We'll make her totally welcome!", and they sniggered nastily. Everyone kept walking towards me slowly; even the adults as well. They were all like zombies. I walked nervously back, too scared to say anything. Suddenly pain came over me like a big net that I couldn't get out of. I looked down at my body, which was lifeless and slumped against the wall. No injuries. It wasn't physical pain.
"Mum! Dad! Get me away from here!" I sobbed hysterically suddenly, to the ceiling above me. I suddenly more than ever wanted to be in their arms again. I shut my eyes, and then vaguely heard flesh connect with flesh and cries of pain. The cries of pain belonged to me. Every girl, boy, man and woman in this room was crowded around me now, even the youngest looking children-girls about seven, towered over me, and I brought my knees to my chest and hid my eyes in them and sobbed, hoping this would end.
Everything was suddenly silent. I was lying down. I opened my eyes slowly, fearing the worst. Sunlight streaked through the gaps in the pink curtain of my bedroom window. I was still in my clothes, lying on my bed with sweat covering my face. It suddenly hit me. It had been a dream. Not a dream, a nightmare. My worst nightmare, I realised. I regretted wishing my parents were dead. I regretted shouting at them.
I realised I needed them. They were already awake, as I could tell by the noise coming from downstairs. I got out of bed, and went downstairs, preparing to apologise, something I didn't often do. I walked nervously up to them. They smiled cheerily at me. How could they forgive me so easily…?
Please read and review!!! Plz give me some advice on how to review cos this is due in 5 days for the writing comp!!!!