Once again, I got sidetracked by another anime and couldn't help but writing a new story when all my old ones are collecting dust. But worry not because this is only a one-shot. I just can't help but write this story. I'm sure a lot of people had said this when Code Geass R2 ended. ^_^
A Visit and Confessions
The wind was blowing gently at the long black cape. His footsteps, though already muted by the grass and damp soil were drowned even further by the loud sound of the flapping cloak. He may seem to be strolling casually but all his five senses were sharp and alert. For safety measure, he walked aimlessly around the cemetery, stopping occasionally on certain graves. Though this was a private cemetery and he had ordered that no one is to come to this cemetery today using his authority as Zero, he did not relax a muscle. Perhaps this was due to the years of military training but it was never a bad thing to be cautious. You never know what would happen for the world is filled with a million of possibilities. Someone taught him that he had to prepare for every single possibility.
Finally, certain that there was absolutely no one around except a few chirping birds that fluttered from tree to tree, the man in black stopped in front a marble white tomb. The headstone was engraved with only one word.
Floods of emotions filled the man. The air around his face became so thick and humid that he reached up for the mask that surrounded his head, removing it without hesitation. As the cool air blew at his face, he inhaled gratefully. How long had it been since he had last breathe in air without being filtered by the mask? Only when the back of his hand brushed away stray brown bang blown by the wind did he felt the cool liquid that was coursing down his face from his eyes. His hand moved up to wipe the tears away but just before he did it, he dropped his hand to his side. What's wrong with crying once in a while? After all, he had not shed a single tear since that day, keeping every single of his emotion pent up inside him. Instead, he concentrated all his strength and energy to fulfill that Geass. Now that he had succeeded in fulfilling the task, he had come to report it to the one who had initiated it. It had been 7 years since Zero Requiem started.
Setting the mask down in front of the grave, he knelt at the headstone. With trembling fingers, he reached for the words carved on the stone, tears still falling freely from his eye like water that had just broke from a dam. The words felt smooth and cool to his fingers. Choking back a sob, he wiped the silver trails on his face before picking the mask. It was not the original one but rather a copy of it without the slide at the eye. He had no use for it unlike him. The original one was kept in a box in his closet. He could not bear to wipe his blood, his mark, from the black helmet. He had made a copy of the original cloak and outfit as well, keeping the real ones as a set with the mask. Occasionally, when he had those precious little alone time, he would take them out to just touch the hard plastic mask, to feel the smooth fabric of the cloak and to take a whiff of his smell and the smell of his blood. The blood pieces which dried off and peeled off the mask were kept as well, folded in pure white silk cloth.
However, today, he did not need any of those to remind him about him. He had come to see him in person. A weird feeling started to fill up his body as he grasped the little stone figurine of an angel in front of the headstone. Nervousness. Man, he had not felt that feeling for about 15 years. Come to think of it, the very last time he felt this emotion was when he was told that the former prince and princess of Britannia were coming to live in the house of Kururugi. Breathing deeply to calm down his fast beating heart and wiping the remains of the tears with the back of his sleeve, he twisted the figurine clockwise to make the angel face the headstone and waited.
Finally, a soft click reached his sharp ears. He bit his lips impatiently, a frown appearing between his brows. After what seemed like an eternity, the headstone creaked a little before it swung sideways in a painfully slow speed, revealing a flight of stairs downwards. He did not wait until the entrance completely open but squeezed in once it was big enough for his lean, well-toned body. When he was completely underground, he felt the wall on his right. His mouth twitched into a small smile when his fingers found a switch panel. Pressing a button randomly, he waited for a reaction. He looked around but it seemed to be getting darker and darker every single second. Looking up the stairs, he saw that the entrance was getting smaller. The button was to close the entrance from inside. He quickly fumbled in the semi-darkness for another switch. This time, a soft light lit the stairs. However, the dim light was not enough to shine all the way to the bottom. He walked down carefully, the sound of his footsteps echoed eerily along.
A different type of sound was created when his foot touched the base. This sound of his footstep was loud and clear, ringing through the little underground hall that was dimly lit, making the room look ghostly except for a blue glowing light in the middle that sent warmth to his body.
"Lelouch…" He muttered. His whole body was vibrating, getting ready to break down again.
'No! I will not show Lelouch this pathetic face. I'm here to bring him good news!' He thought, biting hard into his lips until a coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. It took all his strength to steady himself. When he had a good control of himself, he took a step forward robotically towards the blue light. Another step. And another. His footsteps rang and bounced back from the small room. At last, he reached the rectangular blue glowing light with much effort.
"Le-Lelouch…" He could not hold himself anymore. Flinging his arms around the glass encasement that sat on a marble stone table, he cried his heart out. The cold hard surface that was as cold as ice was making his raw skin turn red did not bother him at all. Instead, he welcomed it like it was a warm fire during winter. Indeed, it was a warm flame to his heart; melting all those armor he had built around his broken heart to hold it together in order for him to complete his mission. Lying in the middle of the everlasting ice block was the body of the original Zero, 99th Emperor of Britannia, Demon Emperor, Lelouch vi Britannia. To him, the person lying peacefully in the encasement would only be one and only one person in his heart.
"Well… Hello, Lelouch…" He mumbled after he calmed down sufficiently. His sleeves were now soaked with salty tears and stained with grime. He huffed at himself. He could not compete with Lelouch when it comes to controlling himself. Even after his constant reminding to himself not to cry, in the end, he did cry. Lelouch would never crash like that. He was always in control of himself. Well, at least better than he would ever be.
"…" He had so much to say but somehow, the words would not form. He wanted to tell him that their plan, no, his plan had succeeded. He wanted to tell him that his sacrifice was not for naught. He wanted to tell him that his sister is fine. He wanted to tell him that the world now is a better place, a place where his sister and all the others could live in peace.
Most of all, he wanted to tell him that he missed him.
"Look at the world, Lelouch… Look at the world you created." He finally said. He smiled at the emperor. He knew that even if he did not say a thing, the black haired boy would know. The young ruler that laid in the glass encasement was exactly like how he was 7 years ago. Time had no effect on his lean body. Swirling around his body was a colorless gas of some sort used to preserve his perfect body. If it wasn't him who had watched him breathed his last breathe, he would be convinced that Lelouch is only sleeping in this rectangular box of a glass coffin. Pressing the smooth and cold glass surface, he cursed it for being an obstacle, preventing him to caress the milky pale skin of the man lying in it. He longed to touch that soft skin of his, his pink lips, his smooth face and his ebony black hair.
Leaning against the glass case, he recalled the last time he stroke that pale face of the emperor. It was after the staged murder. When all the supposed-to-be-dead prisoners were freed and the whole Britannia, no, scratch that, the whole world was rejoicing the death of the Demon Emperor, his bloody body was left there on the platform. No one touched his body after his sister was peeled away from him. He could clearly remember the doctors had to inject some kind of sedatives to calm the girl. His body was left behind, forgotten, as all the others slowly drifted off to celebrate. He was nearly pulled along by the crowd to the celebration. He was not sure it was anger or his own determination that dispelled off those invitations. However, he did remember that in the end, they left him alone until he was the only person by his side. Come to think of it now, he wondered if those people suspected anything at that time.
Gathering the lifeless body into his arms, he cradled it, carrying it in a bridal style, smearing his Zero outfit with more blood. His skin was slowly turning cold and pale. At first, his mind was empty. All he could think was that he had to protect his body. If he had left his body here, carrions would peck at his lovely skin. Maybe one or two unsatisfied persons would come and tarnish his body further. As if he would let that happen! As if he would let any more damage to what little remains of his dear emperor more than what he had done! Carrying the limped figure, he walked aimlessly into the dark. He did not remember how far did he walked with the now stiff body but he remembered seeing that man with one eye covered with that weird orange mask and bluish gray hair. Jeremiah Gottwald.
"Come. I had everything prepared." He had said emotionlessly. He had no choice but to follow that guy to wherever he was bringing him. He had followed that guy they call Orange-kun for who knows how far and how long but as he walked into the sunset, he felt as if Lelouch was bidding his last farewell to him. Tears fell unexpectedly, hidden from the man by the Zero mask. He was going to a place where no one could reach after doing something good for the world but only he alone, perhaps this guy walking in front of him and that woman, C.C, knows about it.
They finally stopped in front of a white building. Droplets of water slowly fell from the sky. Hurrying into shelter, they quickened their pace into a short run, bursting unceremoniously through the huge white doors. Rows and rows of benches were seen. At the end of the aisle was a colored window, formed into the picture of Christ with arms wide open as if to welcome him. It was a church. He did not notice the cross on top of the building because his eyes were on the body he was carrying. Orange-kun led him to a small room, empty except for a metal table in the middle and a metal chest in a corner. Extremely reluctantly, he placed the already cold body on the cold, hard surface of a table. If not for the quiet coaxing of that man that barely registered in his brain, he would probably hold onto the body for as long as he could without letting go.
His hands moved automatically to grab that hand that was tearing the emperor's previously white but now blood-stained robes. The mask had prevented the man from seeing what his emotions were but it was very predictable. Only when Orange-kun explained that he was going to clean him up and put on a new set of robes did he loosen his grip. His black gloved hand left an angry red print on the man's wrist but the man continued discarding the torn robes from the emperor's body as if nothing had happened. His movement was robotic, his face showing no expression. Beside the basket where the man was putting the red-white clothes, a basin of water and a cloth were prepared. Removing his blood covered gloves and stowing them in his inner pockets, he picked up the cloth and dipped it into the water. When Orange-kun had done with peeling off those rags, he gently wiped the emperor's body clean of dried blood and dirt. The cut was merely a line. Where all the impurities were removed, his milk pale skin glowed in the dim light of the room and the moonlight that was shining in through a small window.
After they put on another clean robe on Lelouch's body, Orange-kun went out of the room with the basin filled with red liquid and the basket of rag, leaving him alone with his emperor. His hand reached up to unlatch the mask's clip. Feeling the weight of the heavy cloak on his shoulder, he removed it as well. At first, he wanted to just throw them away, never to see those items again, but the Geasshe received from the young ruler earlier prevented him from doing so. With a defeated sigh, he arranged them in a rather neat little pile, smiling a little on how the perfectionist lying there had influenced him. Moving near the body lying peacefully on the metal table, he let his coarse fingers from military trainings trail over Lelouch's features. His skin felt smooth and cool against his digits.
He brushed the black bangs out of his face and felt the thin eyelids that were covering his magnificent amethyst eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose lightly, he smiled as he remembered how he would scowl and brush his hand off every time he did that when they were young. What would he give to just see that scowl just one more time? Moving his fingers lower, they found his light pink lips forming a thin line curving upwards at the ends across his face. He was smiling as if he was having a nice dream. Unaware of his movements, he leaned forward.
When oxygen ran out, he pulled away. He could still feel the tingling sensation that his cool lips left on his. Clear liquids started to fall once again when he realized that the emperor was not going to awake. He was no Snow White though his pale skin was almost as white as snow. Man, he was crying a lot. Bending down, he hugged the cold king and sobbed into his newly changed robes.
"You!" He looked up to see a surprised Orange-kun standing at the door. His single eye was wide with shock as the boy hastily wiped off the remains of the tears.
"He didn't tell you?" He muttered to the stunned man. The man with blue-gray hair shook his head, apparently still too thunderstruck to speak.
"What did he tell you then?" The brown haired boy asked.
"His Majesty had ordered me to allow Zero to pass through if he was to show up…" The man's speech trailed off. When Orange-kun's face dropped, he pushed the man for more information.
"When I asked His Majesty why, His Majesty had said that Zero would come to kill him… I was not to stop him… I asked him why but His Majesty did not answer… His Majesty said it was an order…" He said in an anguish voice. He had once again failed to protect the one he had vowed to protect, like Lady Marianne. Frustrated at himself, he smashed his fist against the wall.
"That's all?" He bit his lips, an unknown feeling swelling up inside him. That feeling was cutting his heart and entire being into ribbons and pieces. Come to think of it, he had felt this feeling ever since he pierced Lelouch with that damned sword as well as a few times before where he could not remember since his head was now clouded. It was a feeling that he did not recognize. Somehow, it was rather nostalgic but he did not remember where or when he experienced it before.
"He ordered me to help Zero out and protect Nunnally-sama as well… And when Ashford Academy is rebuilt, I am to put a display of firework where everyone in this photo will be able to see it together… That's all." Orange-kun said somberly, withdrawing a picture within his jacket. He took it. It was a picture, obviously cleverly edited and reprinted. In the picture, everyone was there. Milly, Rivalz, Shirley, Nina, Nunnally, Rolo, Kallen, Gino, Anya, Lelouch and he himself. That picture was what he wanted, everyone laughing happily without any worries of war. He clenched his other hand into a fist, feeling his nails digging into his flesh as he stopped himself from crying in front of this man. It was shameful enough for a man to be crying at the first place. He definitely will not let anyone see him so weak again. That was why no matter how hard these few years had been, he never shed a tear until today.
'Neh, Lelouch… It's rather unfair of you to just die like this, you know… Dumping every single thing on me…" He said bitterly to the man lying in the glass coffin. He paused a second as if he was waiting for him to say something. What would he say, he wondered.
"You took the Geass on your own free will. Plus, isn't this what you wanted? To seek revenge for Euphie's murder." He nodded in defeat as he imagined Lelouch voice sounding that reply in his head. He could even hear the slight sarcasm and teasing tone ringing so clearly, like a bell. But was this what he really wanted? To seek revenge for Euphie's murder? Really? A small voice deep inside himself questioned him repeatedly.
"Perhaps so but it's just not fair for you to leave me like this! You should have to suffer for your share!" He retorted. Lelouch snickered. Once again, the sound of his voice rang loudly in his ears.
"Hey, I gave my life! I'm dead!" That voice told him. His smug face dropped when he was forced back to reality. He looked at the body that remained motionless in the glass coffin. There were no sign of life in the man inside the encasement.
"I'm sorry…" That voice whispered quietly in his ears as if he was regretting for bringing him back to what was in front of his eyes. If that imaginary Lelouch thought that this would soothe his feelings, he was totally wrong! It brought up a new, fresh energy that exploded so suddenly that he could not stop his body from trembling.
"I don't want your sorry!! Damn it!" He cursed as he banged his fist against the transparent box. Tears started to flow once again. The illusion Lelouch, now clearer than ever, was standing next to him like a mirage, a ghost. The emperor watched his best friend dropped to his knees, knuckles on the side of the glass turning white from clenching too hard.
"Damn it! It was just so unfair for you to die like this! And what the hell about the 'live on' Geass?! I am supposed to live on when you can just die like that?! Why did you have to leave me alone?! Damn it!" He blurted through his sobs. He knew clearly that if he wanted to cancel off the Geass, all he needed to do was ask Jeremiah to use the Geass Canceller but as if he would! The Geass was something that connected him with Lelouch. It was something the emperor had bestowed upon him, a gift. A gift, a curse that kept them separate, that prevented him from committing suicide like the so many times he thought of doing. The young ruler remained silent, watching the knight as he broke down.
"I… I never got to tell you… I never got the chance…" He rested his forehead against the cool glass which was soothing. The cold feeling washed out all his previous anger but it did not slow down the stream of river that was running down his cheeks. Lelouch slowly approached the brown haired man and patted lightly on the soft hair.
"Tell me now… I can hear you…" Lelouch said softly. A gentle but mysterious breeze blew at the messed up brown bangs. Those words really convinced him that Lelouch was there. It was not an illusion he made up. He was really there. Lost in his own world, he opened his eyes to be caught in those amethyst eyes he missed so much. Lelouch was looking back at him with a truly kind smile, with none of those malice or hatred.
"I… I love you…" His lips whispered. The former Britannian prince's face was surprised for a moment before the kind smile returned. When he reached for his face, he was so certain that he felt his warm hand against his own cheek.
"I know… I knew from the start …" The king replied in a hushed voice, smooth and comforting. This time, he himself was shocked. Did the raven haired boy realize his feelings earlier than he had himself? He himself had not realized it until he had lost him for good. It was a totally different feeling when Euphie died. When Euphie died, true, he was devastated. Yet, when Lelouch died, it was as if his heart had stopped along with the emperor's. Only then he knew the true feeling of losing someone he loved. He loved Euphie as well but it was just like how Lelouch loved Nunnally. It was a different kind of love, a brother's love towards a sister. However, to the man here now, it was pure, true love. It always had been from the start. From the time they first met at that shrine.
"Lelouch… I missed you… I want you to come back…" He voiced out longingly. The emperor continued to caress the tan face from trainings that was looking at him with love and longing. He smiled back, returning all the feelings that the boy was pouring on him.
"I missed you too…" The prince replied. Reaching down, he pulled his knight's head closer to his own until their lips met. He closed his eyes, savoring the soft feeling of the king's lips that felt so real, so solid on his own. When he fell backwards into a sitting position, leaning against the lower marble table of the coffin, he was in a daze both from lack of oxygen and the sweet taste of Lelouch mouth that lingered even after they had pulled apart.
"I love you too, Suzaku…" The king's image wavered slightly. At first, he thought he was disappearing but then he realized that he himself was losing conscious. Before he could say anything, to ask him not to go, not to leave him alone again, before he could call out his name once more, he passed out into darkness. The tears that were falling from his shut eyelids did not slowed.
"Lelouch!" He opened his eyes, startled. Was it all just a dream? He was still inside the underground tomb, leaning against the coffin of the sleeping emperor. His Zero cloak was draped over his body to prevent him from freezing. It carried a familiar scent.
'No, it wasn't a dream…' He quietly thought as he got up and touched his lips with his fingertips lightly. The sensation of his kiss was still there.
"Lelouch…" He muttered as he gathered the cloak around him and sobbed into his knees. He was alone once again.
Well, click on that button down there and tell me about it.