Chapter 7: Redemption
X Prodigy sprung up, awake. He looked around as he gasped to try and get his heart-rate back to normal.
"I'm back in my own room…" he said, relieved.
"Yes, the house was his own. The room was his own." D-Dude said. He and Soldier waved as we see outside the window, "Hey, we're back!"
"We told ya we would!"
X Prodigy flung the windows open and the two were sent, plummeting, again.
"THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR!" Soldier shouted.
"I KNOW!" D-Dude replied.
The two landed right in front of Xem as he walked along the street.
"Hey, Roswellian!" X called.
"Oh, YOU." Xem said, making a snowball and throwing it into X's face.
"Okay, I deserved that." X muttered before asking, "What day is it?"
"Friday." Xem replied.
"No, not what day of the week." X shouted, "What DAY is it?!"
"What day is it?" Xem scoffed, "It's CHRISTMAS Day of course!"
"I didn't miss it…" X said, sounding overjoyed, "The Spirits did it all in one night. Of course they could. They can do whatever they like!"
"Uh…of course they can!" Xem replied, looking nervous and obviously doubting X's sanity.
"Hey, has the prized turkey been sold yet?" X asked.
"The one half as big as me?" Xem asked, "No, it hasn't been sold."
"Intelligent young man…" X grinned before shouting, "GO ON AND BUY IT AND I'LL GIVE YA FIVE BUCKS! COME BACK WITHIN FIVE MINUTES AND I'LL GIVE YA TWENTY!"
"Yes, SIR!" Xem replied, saluting, and taking off like a streak of orange, red, and white.
X Prodigy was soon pacing around, as if filled with some indescribable energy.
"I feel different." He said, "I'm as light as a feather, as happy as a schoolboy, and as carefree as a drunkard!" he then knelt down and begged, "Please, help me make up for the time I've lost, Nostalgia Critic. I beg you on my knees. ON MY FRIGGIN' KNEES!"
There was suddenly a knocking on the door and X Prodigy tore downstairs after getting dressed.
Outside, Xem was standing by the door with Moe Syzlack (The Simpsons), who was holding the feet of a large turkey.
"Hey, if this is some sorta joke, tiger-boy, I'll pump ya full o' lead." Moe stated, darkly, as he fingered a shotgun in his other hand.
"It's not a joke, Moe." Xem replied, "If ya don't believe me, wait 'til he comes!"
X Prodigy, now wearing his red jacket, opened the door.
"Oh, you must be the guy with the prized turkey. No, this isn't a joke." X Prodigy explained, "Here's your money and Roswellian, here's yours for being here within five minutes."
"Thanks!" Xem said before darting off.
"Who should I send this turkey to?" Moe asked as he shoved it into a duffel bag.
"DarkMagicianmon's house, but don't tell him who it's from." X replied.
"Your ten bucks." Moe shrugged as he walked off.
"Now that his first deed was done, X Prodigy was ready to celebrate Christmas AND make up for it while he was at it." D-Dude said.
X laughed as he began walking through the snowy streets with a new spring in his step. The first people he came across were the Men in Red.
"Well, well. If it isn't Mr. Let-'em-die-and-decrease-the-surplus-population." Hellboy said with a scowl.
"Shouldn't you be in your house, counting the money you just keep for the heck of it?" Ed asked.
"My gosh, guys. Weren't you reading the fic at all?" Deadpool asked, "Reminds me of another fanfiction I read, which was the GREATEST FIC EVER! And believe me, I don't say that very often!"
"You, we're ignoring." Ed stated.
"Look, guys, I know I'm probably the last person you'd want to talk to, but…I'd like to make a donation." X replied before whispering something. All three of the Men in Reds' eyes widened at this.
"THAT much?" Hellboy asked. X nodded.
"I know you're making a lot of Christmases merry with that." Ed grinned.
"And a lot of rich bank owners even RICHER!" Deadpool added. Hellboy socked the merc for that.
X Prodigy continued on his way and saw the three musicians on the street. They resembled Hanabi, TL, and Sylar. X tossed a coin in the cup, looked over and simply said to them…
He then walked off.
"Any idea what he's talking about?" Hanabi asked TL with a smile.
"Not at all." TL grinned.
"How about we just keep playing?" Sylar asked.
The three continued playing before vanishing (A/N: So, just think about it…).
Moe knocked on a door, which was quickly answered by DM and the rest.
"Uh…what're you doing here?" DM asked.
"Deliverin' the prize turkey." Replied Moe, shoving it into DM's hands.
"Are you sure you've got the right house?" Airnaruto asked.
"You DarkMagicianmon?" Moe asked.
"No, I'm not." Airnaruto replied.
"But I am." Replied DM.
"Then, I've got the right house." Moe said, shoving the duffel bag into his coat, "I was told to send ya this turkey."
"Who's it from?" DM asked.
"He said he should remain anonymous." Moe replied, walking off, "Now, I've gotta get back to the bar before Barney takes all the booze again…"
"Who'd send us this turkey?" Airnaruto asked.
"Maybe the Democrats have gone a step further—forcing people to give up FOOD instead of money." Lunatic said, walking out with his crutch. THAT earned him glares, "No offense."
(A/N: As a citizen of the USA, I find it as my duty to mock our government whenever I possibly can.)
"What're we gonna do with it?" DM asked.
"We'll cook it, eat it, and have the best Christmas dinner we've ever had." Hikari replied.
Ross was running across the streets until he saw X in the way.
"Hello, nephew!" X greeted, cheerily.
"Uncle X Prodigy." Ross said, looking concerned, "Are you off your meds or something?"
"I'm not ON any medication and you know it." X deadpanned before asking, "So, is your invitation to Christmas Dinner still open?"
"Well…I'll be danged." Ross said before asking, looking joyous, "You mean you're COMING?"
"Of course I am." X replied, walking off, "I'll be around at two. Keep it nice and hot!"
"I will, Uncle X. I WILL!" Ross said, "Merry Christmas!"
X Prodigy walked across the snowy streets, still with that amazing bounce in his step. He waltzed over to the door of DM's house and knocked on it. He snickered a bit before taking a serious demeanor.
"Just sec." DM said to his family before answering the door. He saw X Prodigy and immediately paled, "Oh…uh…X Prodigy."
"DM, I didn't see you in work today." X stated.
"You…gave us half a day-off." DM said, nervously.
"Does that SOUND like something I'd do?" the Hollow Devil asked.
"No…I mean yes…I mean…" DM stammered.
"I'll tell you what I'll do…" X Prodigy growled before saying, "Raise your salary, pay your mortgage on the house, and make you my partner."
DM looked like he'd been hit in the face with something large and heavy before asking, "P-partner? Thanks, X Prodigy."
"Heh. No problem." X replied, "Can I come in for a bit?"
"Yeah, you can." DM replied, letting his boss in.
"So…how's this story supposed to end?" Soldier asked D-Dude.
"Like THIS." D-Dude replied before narrating, "And X Prodigy was as good as his word. The people of the town said that he knew how to keep Christmas all year 'round as good as any other man…if a single man did at all."
"What about Little Lunatic?" Soldier asked.
"And to Little Lunatic, who did NOT die…" D-Dude continued. Soldier sighed in relief as the Dragonsaur continued, "X Prodigy was like a second father to him and ALMOST as good a teacher to him as Airnaruto. And, as he said, 'God bless us, everyone'."
"WHERE'S MY MONEY?!" Nostalgia Critic shouted as he bolted in front of the two.
"RUN!" D-Dude and Soldier shouted, in unison. They took off into the sunset as the angry critic followed them, shouting various threats to them.
X Prodigy: Jason Statham
DarkMagicianmon: Christian Bale
Dimensiondude: Doug Jones
Angelic Soldier: John Travolta
The Shygym Brothers: Ryan Reynolds (Glyre), Johnny Yong Bosh (Ken), Josh Keaton (Ryan)
The Men in Red: (Hellboy) Ron Perlman, (Ed Elric) Vic Mignonga, (Deadpool) John Kassir
Roscoso: Johnny Yong Bosh
Xemnas1992: Brendan Fraser
Nostalgia Critic: Doug Walker
Hanabi: Colleen O'Shaughnessey
MistressofDawn: Hayden Panettiere
Urahara: Michael Lindsay
Nukid: Vic Mignonga
Katie: Rachael Leigh Cook
TLSoulDude: Joaquin Phoenix and Sam Elliot
Hikari Ino: Stephanie Sheh
Airnaruto: Jack Black
Kitten Hachi-chan: Kaori Nazuka
PhoenixofDarkness: Dakota Fanning
Little Lunatic: James Arnold Taylor
Marissa: Caitriona Murphy
Sylar: Zachary Quinto
Shackle: Cheech Marin
Vordan: Steve Blum
Wraith: Willem Dafoe
Carcharodon: Bryan Drummond