Dream a Little Dream
Merry Christmas Baby!!
A/N: This was the Yule present for my wife. She is a huge, huge Sam/ Daniel shipper for SG1, so I wrote her this, despite the fact that it isn't one of the shows I usually write for. So here is something to my Sam from her Daniel.
* * * * *
Samantha Carter was still crying over things, now only two and a half months after the fact. She was heart broken and knew exactly why and there really was nothing she could do about it. Her best friend in the entire Universe was dead and there was nothing she could have done to stop it. It had taken her weeks to forgive Jack for asking her father stop trying to heal Daniel, but she had gotten past that. If only Daniel had not been who he was and died to save a people they had just met. What was holding her back now was the small fact that she hadn't told Daniel the one thing that she had wanted to, because she was a coward.
She was not afraid of a lot of things, especially since she had started work at the SGC but she had been afraid of this. She wanted to tell Daniel that she loved him, loved him with all of her heart but he had been dying. Worse than not saying would have been to have said it and then to have had Daniel die on her, worse still if he had said he felt the same way about her. Sam was fairly sure she wouldn't have been able to have endured that loss.
Being aware of the fact that he was not technically dead did not help in the slightest. He was still gone, still an Ascended Being like Oma Dasala, still not there with her. She had watched his body transform to pure energy and then fly out the Stargate to who knew where. The man she loved was out there, somewhere and she had no clue at all where. For all she knew he could be there right now, next to her but she really doubted it. Daniel had always loved an adventure and this one had to have been too amazing to pass up, especially since his body had been dying and he had nothing left to tie him to the earth. She did wonder what would have happened if she had told him. Would it have made a difference? Would he have stayed for her, in that wreck of a body?
Sam sighed and looked out at the night, out at the stars over the Rockies. She had been to many of those stars out there and it only had made the sky even more magical than it had been when her main obsession had been to join NASA in order to become an Astronaut. Now, the idea of simply tooling around the planet and maybe the moon held no appeal to her anymore. She had literally stood on other planets, planets whose stars could not even be seen from earth.
However, the stars only made her think of Daniel. His discovery of the Abydos cartouche and subsequent translation and analysis had literally opened up the galaxy for them. She had been able to go out there only because Daniel had once again opened the door, like he had done with the Stargate in the first place. Without him, the Stargate would have been just this big strange ring that no one understood instead of being a doorway to the stars. Despite what other people said, she was certain that there wasn't anyone more brilliant than Daniel on the planet. While her focus had always been science, his training in Archeology, Anthropology and Linguistics had given him the tools to understand cultures that anyone else would have been at a loss to comprehend. Without him, things would not have gone nearly as well. He amazed her with every new discovery, each new language he broke down and began to speak, each time he solved yet another mystery they came across. She knew she was smart, a real genius but Daniel's mind fascinated her like no other.
Looking at the clock she frowned, she had to be in to work tomorrow. They were still trying to integrate Jonas to their team and it was taking some work. In some ways, he was worse than Daniel had been at the beginning. Colonel O'Neill had them scheduled to run through several different training scenarios, to get Jonas up to speed. She needed to sleep if she was going to make it through them, as she hadn't really been able to sleep well in months. She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and climbed into her cold bed. Missing him, she fell asleep.
* * * * *
She was busy working in her office on something or other, she wasn't quite sure what exactly it was, when Daniel walked in. He stood in front of her desk, smiling down at her, his hair rumpled as usual. "Hello Sam."
"What do you need Daniel, I'm in the middle of reading this report and trying to figure out what this thing does." replied Sam.
"Well, I really need to talk to you if you have the time, if that's okay." rattled of Daniel, speaking with his usual speed.
"Sure Daniel. What is it about?" She asked, smiling at him. She could never stay irritated with the archeologist.
"I know this might be confusing but I really did need to say this right the first time because Oma said that it was part of my Journey and that the others had given me dispensation for this so long as I did nothing to overstep my bounds in any form but any way here goes." Sam was tired from just listening to that sentence. She sat down on the park bench and patted the area next to her, to let him know it was okay to sit with her.
Daniel remained standing, looking a little flustered and confused. "The thing is Sam, I love you."
Sam nodded her head, following him unsure why this was such an important point. "Yes and…?"
"No Sam, I don't think you are following me. I love you and not as just a friend." Daniel left that hanging, as if Sam would be able to fill in the missing parts.
"But… you're dead." replied Sam, adjusting the hem of her sundress a bit nervously.
"Sam, you know I'm not dead but they would only let me come to see you in your dreams and not try to manifest myself in anyway. If I came to you in any other manner they would be sure I was going to do something to jeopardize everything they hold dear and take action to stop me so I have to go by their rules now. This is a dream Sam, but it is really me, really Daniel and I really love you."
Sam blinked a few times, a bit stunned by what he had said, "You're serious?"
Daniel smiled at her gently, a smile that she loved so very much, "Yes Sam, I am serious."
"You love me?" She was incredulous. There was no way that something like this could be really happening to her.
"Yes." Was his only answer.
Sam's mouth opened and closed, like a fish a few times, as the shock of the statement hit her. "Wow. Just… wow."
"Are you okay Sam?" asked Daniel, a bit worried by her reaction.
"You love me." She seemed a bit blissed out when she spoke and that made him chuckle. She looked cute when she was a bit out of it. "Did you know I love you too? That I have loved you for a long time?"
Daniel shook his head a bit regretfully. "No, I didn't."
"I was going to tell you, but I was too scared to, since you were dying."
Daniel took her in his arms and held her safely, kissing her forehead. "I'm not dead Sam."
She frowned, "But you're not here."
"I'm sorry Sam but I still have things to do and my body died. There really wasn't another option at the time." explained Daniel.
"Ssshhhh… just hold me."
Daniel did as Sam asked. He held her close and rubbed his head against her hair, sighing contentedly. "I love you Sam."
"I love you too Dani…"
* * * * *
Sam awoke, feeling more rested than she had in several months and a bit happy as well. She was actually humming when she walked into work, through the corridors of the SGC and this caught the attention of Janet Frazier, her best friend at the base besides Daniel. The short little medical tyrant dragged her into her office and stared her right in the eye. It was clear that she knew something was wrong. "Okay Carter, spill."
"About what Janet?" asked Sam, as if she were unsure why she was being asked this. She hadn't been doing anything odd… had she?
"About you. You come in here all smiling and happy, humming even and you mean to tell me that there isn't a reason?" Janet glared at her in the manner she usually reserved for either Teal'c or Colonel O'Neill. Both of them tried to out tough her and they had never won yet.
"I slept well and I had a really nice dream. That's all." replied Sam.
"What dream?" inquired Janet, glad her friend had slept well. She had been getting ready to prescribe her a sleeping pill in order to take care of this problem and if it were better she would be happy.
"I dreamed about Daniel." said Sam.
"You've dreamed about Daniel before Sam, what made this one different?" replied Janet, shifting slightly more into doctor mode, trying to figure out what exactly was going on with her friend.
Sam considered that for a moment, realizing that Janet was right. She had had several really intense, realistic dreams of Daniel before but nothing like what she had last night. "Well, one of the biggest differences was the fact that he said he loved me."
Janet sighed. "Sam, he said it in a few of your other dreams."
Sam shrugged. "I guess this time I believed it."
Janet looked thoughtful but let it go. After all, it wasn't as if Sam didn't have work to do. She wasn't going to monopolize her time right now but she would certainly keep an eye out.
That night, Sam returned from another off world mission, sore all over from the multiple runs through the simulations they had done out at the Alpha Site. Colonel O'Neill had insisted that they run through the three different scenarios until they all made it out alive. Jonas had guaranteed that they had to run through things eight or nine times, each. Her body complained with her every move.
She took two of the 800mg Motrin she had at home and headed into a hot bath. That helped relax her but she still felt like she had been beaten by sticks. She was hoping that she would feel better in the morning as she wasn't sure that she could really feel worse.
* * * * *
Sam was lying out of the beach under a brilliant teal sky, the warmth of the two suns baking her nicely. It made her relax some and that was a good thing. She felt two hands on her back, kneading the muscles and making her groan happily, her voice blurring some under the ministrations. "Harder Daniel."
She could almost hear the smile, that very familiar smile of his, a little lopsided but sweet. His hands kneaded harder and she moaned under his strong hands as they hunted down aches and worked them out. Slowly, so there was plenty to enjoy, Daniel worked out the days aching from Sam's back, neck and shoulders. She sighed contentedly and turned her head to squint up at him. "Thank you Dani…"
* * * * *
Sam again woke happily, and she lay there in her bed feeling content, a new feeling for her. She had again slept well and that was wonderful. As she sat up, she realized that she did not ache anywhere. That made her happy, so happy that she decided to ride her motorcycle in to work instead of her car. She had gotten the bike when she had been a fighter pilot, before coming to work on the Stargate program. For three years prior to the formation of Stargate Command, she had worked on the Gate, trying to figure it out and figure out how it worked. It had been very fulfilling work, but the fun of going off world was so much better than simply staying in the lab. Things were going well.
Jonas did better in the simulations today and they were cleared to go on a mission in a few days. Sam was looking forward to it. She loved going off world, even if it made her think about Daniel. She wasn't going to just stop doing her job simply because of her loss and she knew that Daniel would have wanted her to keep doing her part to destroy the Go'auld. She had no problem with destroying them and was actually looking forward to this mission, in the hopes that it would provide a lead in that direction. Maybe they would find some really cool piece of alien tech she could play with. She could always hope.
She really needed to take her mind off things and nothing like taking apart and putting back alien tech to do that for her.
* * * * *
"I love you Daniel."
"I love you too Sam, but we should get going, the reservations are for 7:30."
They headed out to the car and Daniel had opened her door for her. The restaurant of one of the nicer ones in Colorado Springs and they had both been looking forward to eating there. Once they reached it, they walked inside and sat down to eat. The food was good, but mostly they just gazed into each other's eyes, basking in their presence.
As they walked out of the place, Daniel put his arm over her shoulder and they walked through the nearby park. They were on their way back when Daniel asked nervously, "So Sam, would you like to come back to my place?"
She smiled up at him and nodded. This was something she had been looking forward to.
* * * * *
Sam was walking back to her office when she ran into Colonel O'Neill after he got off the elevator. "Morning Carter."
Jack cocked his head and looked at her a bit closer, as it looked as if he though that something was new or out of place. "Well, you are certainly glowing today."
Sam blushed some, thinking back to her dreams and how vivid they had been. "I… I uh slept really well Sir."
"That's good to hear. We have a briefing at 1000."
"Yes sir." Sam sighed and headed deeper into the complex, wanting to do a little work in her office before the briefing. She was working on this new item they had found that might hold the keys to shield technology that the Go'auld used.
After a little while working, there was a knock on the doorframe that caught her attention and made her look up from her work bench. "Are you busy Sam?"
"Not too bust for you Janet." Sam smiled happily at her best friend. Janet was a great friend and she did rely on her from time to time. She was sure she wouldn't have made it past her grief without the shorter woman's help.
Janet looked at Sam and narrowed her eyes in thought. "So… who's the lucky guy?"
"Sam, you have that glow about you. That particular 'I just had sex for hours' glow. So, who is the lucky man?" explained Janet, smirking at the look of surprise on Sam's face.
"Janet, I'm not seeing anyone right now." frowned Sam, somewhat upset by the implication.
"Okay." Janet drawled that out as if she didn't believe the scientist.
Samantha blushed as she said, "Look, the only sex I have had recently has been in my dreams."
Janet's gaze changed from playful to concerned, "Dreams?"
"Yeah. I have had a number of really vivid dreams lately."
"How vivid?" Janet sounded a little worried, as Gate travel was a bit strange in its effects on humans.
"Like it was really happening real. Why? What do you think it is?" It was clear to Sam that Janet was not thinking that this was a good thing and that really upset her.
"I'm not sure. Let's take some blood and you can tell me what has been going on in those dreams of yours. This could be some sort of effect from the gate travel." Janet was clearly thinking through things quickly, as she usually did. "Do these dreams have anything in common?"
"Well, they all involve Daniel." Sam shrugged, not sure why this whole mess might be important. Surely these dreams were not a danger to her… right?
"Daniel? Daniel is in them?"
Janet cocked her head. "Remember when Colonel O'Neill was captured by Ba'al? He said that he saw Daniel and that he was trying to help him to ascend in order to escape."
Sam nodded. It had been a really tense situation. Teal'c idea to use Lord Yu against Ba'al had been truly inspired. She had been very grateful when it had worked.
"Let's get that blood work done, okay. And let me know when you have anymore dreams like this. I just want to make sure that everything is okay."
"What do you think is going on? That Daniel is visiting me in my dreams?"
Janet shrugged noncommittally. "He's ascended now, there is no reason he couldn't actually come to you in dreams."
"That's crazy Janet." countered Sam.
"Is it? Well, we don't have enough to go on now but I bet that's what's giving you those vivid dreams." Janet looked at her smugly, with her 'I know everything' look that she cowed most people with. If she weren't right so often it would be annoying.
"I got to go. We have a briefing for our mission to P3X947 and I need to be there."
"Don't forget the blood work." reminded Janet.
"I will." Sam hustled off, questions filling her head and making her wonder what was really going on.
* * * * *
Sam fidgeted on the park bench as she looked over at Daniel. He was smiling at her as he headed back with Ice Cream for both of them. He handed off her cone, "Here you go."
She took her cone and had a taste. It was delicious but she could barely taste it for all her worry. "Daniel, I have a question to ask."
Daniel smiled his warm, soft smile that had been one of the main reasons she had fallen for the archeologist. "What is it Sam?"
"Is this real?"
He cocked his head at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, is this dream just my mind tormenting me for not having the courage to tell you I loved you or is this really you." Sam nervously had some more of her ice cream.
Daniel's smile grew larger. "It's really me Sam. I love you and have for years. This is part of my journey and I guess a part of yours."
"So this is real?" asked Sam, a bit incredulous. She had seen many things in her stint with the SGC that had been beyond imagining but this was sort of pushing it.
"I guess it depends on how you define real. These are your dreams and I am in them. If you consider that real, than yes I am and as I said, I love you." Daniel took her in his arms and held her comfortingly. She could feel the heat of his skin and smell his aftershave.
"Daniel, I don't know what to say. This is real? You are actually here? You love me?" Samantha was getting confused trying to make sense of all of this, trying to figure just how real it was.
Daniel chuckled a few times. "Yes Sam, this is real and I do love you."
"Oh." Sam blinked a few times.
"Letting go of you was the hardest thing I have done and it still hurts." replied Daniel, growing serious. "I think that is why Oma and the others are letting me do this."
Sam hugged Daniel and kissed him soundly. "Tell them thanks for me."
* * * * *
Sam walked down the halls of the SGC humming happily to herself. Everyone noticed the change in the officer and had differing opinions about it. Janet, as expected of the medical officer, was the first to strike. She dragged Sam into her office and closed the door. "Alright Samantha Carter, tell me what is going on?"
Sam's grin was overflowing with her happiness. She was almost as giddy as a school girl. "Daniel loves me."
Janet frowned. Could her friend be losing her mind? "Sam, Daniel is gone."
Sam rolled her eyes. "I know that Janet. He has ascended to a higher plane of being existing as a formless state of energy. I am well aware of this. He is still alive but in a state that we know little to nothing about. That is where things stand. Regardless, I know he loves me."
"How?" challenged Janet.
"He told me." replied Sam, smiling. Daniel loved her.
"In your dreams. He appears in your dreams and you talk."
Sam blushed bright red.
Janet raised an eyebrow and said, "And other things as well apparently. Okay. How do you know it is really Daniel?"
"Because I can feel that it is him." Sam shrugged. "I just know it is him."
Colonel O'Neill bracketed her in her office just before lunch to get to the bottom of things. "So Frazier told me an interesting story. Is it true?"
"What story is that Sir." asked Sam, almost sure what Janet had told the Colonel.
"Daniel." The way Jack said the name covered about everything that was implied. It was a knack he had for saying a great deal in a few words.
Sam pursed her lips. "Yes it's true."
"And you don't think that it could be negatively influencing your performance?" asked Jack, concerned.
"Sir, if anything my work has been better lately and you know it. I don't think he is helping me, but just knowing that he is alright and that he cares for me is doing quite a lot to help me focus and concentrate."
Jack nodded. He couldn't see any particular flaw in what she was saying. "Okay. I can agree with that."
"If it starts interfering with my job I will pull out of SG-1 and wait for things to change." offered Sam.
"Let's make sure we don't have to go there."
* * * * *
Sam sighed contentedly, comfortable in Daniel's strong arms. He had certainly gone from a soft looking mess to a solid looking near soldier in the time she had known him. She liked the change but wished that he had left his hair long, well at least a little longer. It looked cuter on him than the short hair.
Daniel kissed her shoulder. "Sam, I need you to know that things are going to get tough pretty soon."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't tell you more than that, as the others might get upset with me. All I can say is that things are going to get tough. I want you to know that I love you and always will. Regardless of what happens."
Sam raised herself up on an elbow and stared at him worriedly, "Daniel, what aren't you telling me?"
"A lot. I will do what I can to be there for you and the others but I am very limited in what I can do. Just trust me."
"I trust you Daniel. I love you and if you say you can't tell me more I accept it."
Daniel hugged her close and kissed her passionately. Sam tried to ward off the feeling that something was wrong but nothing helped. She fretted in the arms of the man she loved.
* * * * *
"So this Eye of Ra thing is on Abydos?"
"I think so." replied Jonas. "If I am understanding Dr, Jackson's notes, there is probably a secret chamber there."
It is amazing how such a simple hypothesis could lead to a firefight in the pyramid below the Stargate on Abydos. Daniel appeared a couple of times to help them with advice and Sam and he both shared a few emotional looks between. Then Daniel went up to stop Anubis from destroying them.
The first night after the battle Sam sort of expected him to be gone, however as the days stretched into weeks, she dropped back into depression. Janet was struck how similar her depression was to when Daniel had ascended. Sam grew withdrawn, focused on her work more and socialized less and less. Two months later Sam was almost like a ghost that haunted the SGC rather than the second in command to the most amazing team there.
She got better during the third month with no nightly visits from Daniel. She was still depressed by she was getting better. Her heart ached from his loss and she was trying to keep going as she knew Daniel would not want her to lament his loss forever. That didn't really help all that much but it was something.
Jonas was excited as he ran through the halls, "I got it! I got it!"
"Found what?" asked Sam, as she had been talking with General Hammond over the new developments with Anubis and the other System Lords.
"The lost city only it's not the lost city but the city of the lost."
Again, thanks to Jonas's work in remembering something from Daniel's work with the meeting place of the Four Great Races, they found themselves on another distant planet, looking for a city abandoned by the Ancients. Jack was talking to the locals and they mentioned finding a naked man out in the ruins. This obviously got their attention and they certainly wanted to meet him. While Jack was charming the elder of the group, SG-3 came up and their commander said, "Colonel, I think we found something you want to see."
Daniel walked behind them and looked at them all curiously. When they saw that it was Daniel, Sam froze. Daniel? Was it really her Daniel? Was he really back? She trembled inside in both excitement and anxiety.
After having little luck with Daniel, as he had no idea who they were and kept calling Jack Jim, Jack decided to send her in to talk to him, as he had no intentions of leaving Vis Urban without the archeologist who was his best friend. Sam entered the tent and stood before the man she loved who had apparently lost his memory completely. It was difficult not to run to him and embrace him.
"What was you name again?"
"Samantha Carter. You called me Sam."
They talked and Sam tried several different ways to help him remember, telling him what an amazing person he was. When even that wasn't working and he said that he would think about it, she stood to leave feeling this growing sense of hopelessness.
He looked at her curiously, as if something was tickling his mind as she walked out. "Samantha Carter, was there ever anything between us?"
Sam grinned happily at that. She could most certainly answer that one. "Yes. Yes there was."