We have a new assignment, finally! I mean, nothing against Wales, but this English weather, I can only take so much of it. And the fact that we're on post guarding a prison really doesn't help, especially since Magwitch is a prison for the Magically capable. Any way, so Rikki gets a text from our oracle saying that we are to immeadiately report to the Smithsonian Institutes in Washington. I'm a little hesitant to return since I've not seen my family since I left. I mean, I still talk to my Dad since he calls atleast once a week, and he says he's not mad that I left, but I know my mother is, since the arranged marriage she'd gotten for me would've raised our situation in the Magical Community.
Sorry, went off on a rant there.
So we go to DC, and we have to figure out how to get into the archives, which don't quite work out…so Rikki casts a spell to teleport us in, resulting in us falling maybe seven feet to the ground. Rikki lands on her feet, me flat on my face.
"Come along now, foolish girl", She hauls me up.
"What's our gig?"
"It's an easy job.'The Tablet of Ahkmenrah has been stolen. You are to retrieve it from the Federal Archives of the Smithsonian Museums before it falls into the wrong hands and return it to its rightful owner,'" she reads the text.
"If it's stolen isn't it already in the wrong hands?"
"Not nessasarilly," she starts along, hitting light switches as she goes.
"Well, if it's so very important, why don't Ahkmenrah just come and get it himself?"
"Because he's been dead for some 3000 years."
"Then what in the name of all that's holy are we doin'?!"
Rikki takes one of those deep breaths that means she can't believe she got stuck with so stupid an apprentice, "Because, Frankie, the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah is brought to life every night by the tablet, as is everything in the museum in which he dwells. A number of the exhibits were moved from the Museum of Natural History in New York to storage here. Either someone packed it by mistake, or one of the exhibits stole it so that they wouldn't have to cease living."
"So…everything down here's set to come to life as soon as the sun sets?" I pause trying to add it all up.
"Yes, my dear, now come along."
"What does this thing look like?"
"About a foot by a foot, a couple inches thick, solid gold," she gestures the size.
"How far off's sunset?"
"Great…should only take a year to search this whole place"
"This is only one of the floors."
So after maybe fifteen minutes, we see this huge red tractor trailer type thing with NEW YORK MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY painted on the side, "Well," I said,"That wasn't so hard."
There's about seven men frozen in place out side of the trailer, six of them in leather tunics, wielding spears, and the other garbed in gold and tourquoise, and a spherical crown with the crest of Horus on it. The last guy is pointing angrily at the crate.
"Maybe, Ahkmenrah came to get his own tablet…" I say hopefully.
"No, this is not Ahkmenrah," Rikki glares at the man, "this would be the wrong hands."
I squeeze into the crate, which is open just a crack. Inside, there are frozen figures of huns, Neanderthals, a pretty Native American woman, some Roman and Cowboy miniatures and a monkey holding a solid gold tablet, "Bingo…" I pry it gingerly out of the primate's hands and squeeze back out of the crate, "I got it, now let's get outta here."
Rikki extracts a pocket ledger from the pocket of her overcoat. That little boat holds all of her spells as well as personal notes that she won't let me read. She opens it and flips through the pages looking for the teleportation spell, when this guy in a security guard uniform comes around the corner yelling at us, "Hey! Put down that tablet that's museum property!"
"Terribly sorry, sir," Rikki says quickly, "You see we were employed by the Museum of Natural History up in New York. Some rather clumsy workmen packed this up by mistake, and we are to return it, we'll be out of your hair in a moment, sir. Come along, Frankie," She starts walking and I follow.
"Well, no trouble at all," says the man, "But just in case, could I see your papers?"
The look on Guard Dude's face turns real serious, "Look, hand over the tablet and I won't report you for larceny."
I look at Rikki, "Spell?"
"Found it," she says calmly, taking my hand and beginning to chant in Latin.
Guard-dude snatches the tablet out of my hands and turns on his heel.
I start after him, "Hey, Jag-off! Come back!"
We only go about five feet before the tablet starts glowing. Guard-dude stops, and slaps it like that's gonna do something. Then the dude in gold and tourqouise is telling in Egyptian. One of his soldiers locks the door of the crate before he turns to us, with a questioning look. He asks us something in Ancient Egyptian, which none of us respond to, "Uh, Sprechen zie Duetche?…Parlez-vous francais?…English, Elish perhaps."
"Yeah, we speak English," says Guard-dude.
"Oh, thank the gods, my French is terrible."
"Uh…I'm sorry, who are you?"
"I am Kahmunrah," he says dramtically, lisping, "Great king of Great Kings, and from the depths of ancient history, I have come BACK TO LIFE!"
"Perhaps you did not hear what I just said. I am a centuries old Egyptian Pharaoh. I was dead, but now I have come BACK TO LIFE!"
"Yeah, no, heard that, go that…Welcome back."
"Who are you?" Kahmunrah demands apparently surprised by Guard-dude's lack of surprise at the recital of these facts.
"Larry, Larry Daley, of Daley Devices, it's up in New York..."
Rikki makes this sound, like a mix between laughing and crying, putting her face in the palm of her hand.
"…Yeah, ya know it's funny, I actually know your brother, Ahkmenrah."
Rikki's head shoots up out of her hand at this.
"Oh, he knows Baby Brother, the favourite son."
"Yeah, good kid," says Larry clearly oblivious to the bitterness in Kahmunrah's voice.
"Oh, isn't he just? You know, Mother and Father always gave him the best of everything, and I do mean everything. They even gave him the throne, the throne which should have been mine."
"Uh, he never mentioned that…"
"Oh, I just bet he didn't. Well, never mind that. Now begins the era of Kahmunrah, because I have come BACK TO- oh never mind just give me that tablet."
"Don't give it to him, Gigantor!" shouts a small voice in the trailer.
"Quiet! Don't make me come in there!" Kahmunrah turns back to us, "That tablet is more powerful that you Larry Daley of Daley Devices can possibly realize. Bringing things to life, merely a parlour trick. With it I shall bring forth my army from the lands of the dead. So if it's not too much trouble," he barks an order in Egyptian and his soldiers hold spears up to our necks, "Hand it over."
"Okay, here ya go," Larry said.
"'Re y'off yer flippin' nuts?!" I yell at him.
"Wize decision," Kahmunrah says, and starts away.
"Yeah, sorry," says Larry, "I just thought you wanted the cube."
"The Cube…of Rubic."
"Alright what is this Cube of Rubic?"
"It's the Cube!"
"We don't speak of it," Rikki says, "You know what happened last time…"
"What?" Kahmunrah asks.
"You know the continent of Pangea?" I ask, Well, let's just say it's not there anymore."
"Yeah," said Larry, "We don't blame you, I mean, your brother didn't wanna mess with it either. It's just you struck me as a next level sort of guy, my bad."
"Take me to this cube!" Kahmunrah orders.
"Really, dude, we don't blame you…" I say.
Of course we end up leading him to the mythical cube. Larry leads and I hope he has a plan. We finally approach a large rectangular crate, "Well, here we are."
"With the power of the tablet and of the Cube, my reign shall know no bounds!" Kahmunrah says rubbing his hands together.
"Who're you talkin' to?" I ask
"No one…Everyone….It's just a general reminder. I don't need to explain myself to you!!!" he points to Larry, open it!
Larry carefully pops open the locks and out pops a giant squid that knocks everyone around. The tablet goes flying and Larry catches it and runs, Rikki close behind. I start running only to be picked up by the squid and flung towards Kahmunrah who grabs me by the back of my neck, "Come Back! I still have your friends!"
Now I know how it feels to be the hostage of a nut job…well so much for an easy job, yeah?