(A/N) I don't know if this is more of a story or a series of drabbles, But the chapters are short and just for comical purposes. I wrote this just for laughs, So please enjoy!
I don't own Naruto~!
A brunette teen blinked in utter confusion, She sat in the middle of a floor.. Surrounded by all ten members of Akatsuki
"Uh.." The teen began with a risen brown eyebrow "..Did I do something wrong?"
"No," Pein replied with a sigh "We're.. teaching you"
The teen rose the other eyebrow, She blinked slowly "Huh?"
"Deidara, You're first" Pein said and gave a look like he was in pure hell, Deidara jumped "W-Why me, un?" The blonde asked looking feared, Hidan snorted "Yea! We should be fucking teaching him too!" Hidan laughed out earning a glare from Deidara.
"What are you implying, un?" Deidara threatened, Hidan smirked devilishly "You fucking know exactly, Little Baby" Hidan teased causing various veins to pop out on Deidara's head. The teen watched amused, She always loved the shows the Akatsuki played.
"Deidara, Just hurry up!" Sasori grumbled, Hating the wait.
Deidara jumped and slowly looked to the teen, Who had no clue what was going on. "Kinma.."
Said teen perked up slightly, At the mention of her name "Uhm..Deidara?"
"Always use protection, un" With that, Deidara zoomed out of the room with his face red.
Kinma blinked slowly "..Eh?" She was now even more confused.
Almost everyone face palmed, Pein was going to make sure Deidara was not going to be pleased with his hasty retreat. "Sasori"
Sasori sighed as he walked infront of Kinma, Catching her attention "Turn yourself into a puppet, Then you could avoid all of this" He said mono tonely, Kinma blinked yet again in confusion.
"Avoid what?" She asked, Pein sighed
"Sasori leave, Tobi..er.. nevermind" Pein almost sweat dropped, Tobi hung his head "Zetsu, Go" Pein looked to Zetsu, Zetsu stood quietly as he stared at Kinma.. She stared back.
"..Are you in bloom?"
"Zetsu!" Pein growled
Zetsu looked at his leader silently "I can not explain.. If she is not releasing pollen" He replied, Pein sighed "Out", Zetsu obeyed and left the room with Tobi following behind.
"Kisame" Said blue man perked up in interest, He smirked as he walked infront of Kinma.
She was currently repeating 'In Bloom' trying to figure out what it had meant, She finally noticed Kisame.
"When the time of year comes, When the sharks migrate-"
Everyone groaned "Kisame! There are no sharks here!"
Kisame looked to Pein, He pouted "Well, That's what I was told", Everyone sent Kisame a weird yet pitied look.. Someone either had played a cruel joke on him or his parents were truly that of sharks.
"..." Pein stared at Kisame for a moment before shaking his head "Itachi, Your turn"
"Uhm..Hey.." Kinma piped tilting her head "..What's going on?" She asked curiously, Everyone looked to her then at Itachi.
Itachi stared at her quietly, Not saying anything.
It stayed like this for several moments.
A few more moments..
Another few more moments, Pein groaned "Itachi, I'll push you off until later. Kakuzu, Go"
Kakuzu stared annoyed at Kinma, She blinked in confusion "Waste of time" He grumbled.
"When your bounty doesn't go as planned and you have an annoying dumb ass that won't stop bitching, You get this bottled up angry feeling and the only way to rele-"
"Kakuzu, I'm going to stop you there" Pein said raising an eyebrow in question, Kakuzu shrugged "Whatever" He mumbled before going off to stand among the others left in the room.
"Hid-" Pein stopped himself 'Er..What's the worse that could happen?' Pein thought with a shrug "Hidan"
Hidan smirked as he walked right infront of Kinma's sitting form, She watched him questionably.
"Kinma, Lets fucking skip the explanation" Hidan smirked even wider "And go straight to the fucking demonstration"
"Hidan!" Pein seethed "Out!" He growled pointing at the door, Hidan looked slightly disappointed before he left grumbling about the lack of 'bitches' he had lately.
Pein rubbed his temples "Gah, Konan.. Konan?" Pein looked around "Where'd she go?"
Kakuzu sighed "She said that she had already explained one thing to her, She's not explaining the other thing" Kakuzu gestured to Kinma, Who were looking dumbfounded at them.
"Ah, Damn.." Pein pondered.. That just left him and.. Itachi, The Uchiha hadn't gone yet! "Itachi, If you do not explain it. I will make Kakuzu duct your pay"
THAT put a smile on Kakuzu's face under his mask, Itachi remained silent. "Itachi..?" Pein questioned, "Ita-" He stopped as the Uchiha stepped closer to Kinma.
"Sharingan" Itachi said causing everyone to freeze, Pein balled his fists
After a several moments of Itachi and Kinma staring at eachother silently, Itachi finally blinked.
"Itachi..?" Pein asked curiously, Itachi gave him a blank look.
"It's done" Itachi said causing everyone to look to Kinma, She blinked slowly before passing out.
Pein gulped "Itachi.." Said Uchiha looked over at him "What.. did you do?"
"I showed her the most used sex positions"
Everyone stared at Itachi.
"Itachi.. And.. Who did you do this.. demonstration with?" Pein questioned.
"With myself and Kinma, Of course" He replied a matter of factly.
"Itachi.." Pein rose an eyebrow "You just.. technically had sex with Kinma"
"Don't worry, I used protection"
(A/N) I'm sorry, This just came to me! I couldn't help it! I hope it was enjoyable, 'Cause it was for me :D Just so you guys know, I'll describe what Kinma looks like..
Kinma -- Brown mid-back length hair, Green eyes and looks to be a pre-teen (Around 13. I don't think her outfit is important, But I'll say it anyway) A long sleeved dark blue shirt with standard black ninja pants.