A Secret Admirer: The Stalking of Severus Snape

Chapter 38: Three Sides to Every Story

And so he cornered me, with ease, the very next day as I approached my office.

I knew I was dead….so utterly dead…and he came into my office. The rest I can't remember…but he does.

"What you have done is foul, inexcusable, unforgiveable, childish, and well, ridiculously foolish, and honestly, I am not fooled easily. But I can't begin to fathom how you thought you were going to get away with it, Sinistra," Snape was so angry he sort of spluttered because he was speaking so fast, and it was very much unlike him.

"Well, I almost did." And it was so cheeky she regretted it instantly.

"Not quite," he snapped in a huff.

He eyed her piercingly. "Why would you do such a thing…read into a whole scenario?"

"Read into…it is love potion…she drank it and you certainly didn't… that came from you under the influence of nothing but your own clear-headed mind." She turned red knowing he was this close to hexing her, but she couldn't stop herself somehow.

"Why would you do such a thing? Have you told Vector anything? And you had better be telling the truth. You know I can tell and you have never seen me truly angry and what anger makes me capable of doing." He took a menacing step closer to her.

"Because I know that you love her and no I'm not telling her anything. Why hurt her?"

"What would hurt her and you don't know anything and it is not your business."

"Do you deny it?" She pressed, and he didn't answer her. "You would just keep vexing her, wasting her time, pretending that you don't give a damn about her… Well keep on pretending and now I'm leaving." She felt he would be so shocked to hear what she had to say, she would be able to make a quick escape.

"Oh no, you are not."

"Why should I stay? You are not going to admit you love her so I best be going…" She tried to stealthily slip out and turned from him."

"Not so fast, Sinistra, we haven't resolved this yet," He said in a cold, even voice. "Might I remind you of what you have done. You have doused Vector's candy with love potion without telling her. She offered me some and I saw the packaging, and it would have been myself too, under its influence, if I had ingested one. Did you see the shape she was in? You gave her a love potion…a Weasley manufactured product…" he paused for effect. "Which you are a dolt, and didn't realize that it was not designed for adults, only teenagers, and the effects are different; just imagine what would have happened if both of us were under the influence…"

She wanted to say the she most likely would have been a godmother in nine months time but refrained from doing so.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" He crossed his arms close to his chest and studied her. He did not look happy, and the eyes, they seemed a little fearful.

"Uh, sorry, and I must be going."

"No, now you owe me, Sinistra."

"What? Are you serious? Haven't I done enough damage?"

"A discussion over some tea…I will tell you…but you must agree to not say anything and submit yourself to a bit of veritaserum, so I can insure you will answer me truly after you have demonstrated such duplicity towards me very recently."

"Right, I'm not that daft…"

He raised an eyebrow like he disagreed with her on that point.

"The hell I will it's illegal and…"

"Not the strong kind I brewed for Umbridge for appearances and never gave her…a weak truth-telling serum laced with calming draft – you look as if you think I am going to hurt you," he smiled maliciously.

"Why and why would I think you wouldn't…especially now?"

"I wish to ask you a few things oh, and to answer the latter part…I wish to keep my employment presently if you, oh, I don't know, appeared not quite like before. Dumbledore would know. The headmaster is very perceptive. Also, I will ingest some as well, calming draft too because I am currently in your presence trying to remain calm with your nonsense and so you realize that I am telling the truth as well."

He summoned a tea cup that had just been filled by a nearby kettle of boiling water. She knew she had no choice. If she had tried to blast her way out, there was no way she would succeed. She agreed. Dumbledore would never allow her to be hurt. She was an employee and the only Astronomy professor he had currently. Deep down she also somehow knew that he might just keep his promises because he would never hurt Vector by hurting her.

"Thirdly oh, if forgot to inform you must have slipped my mind you won't remember anything I tell you regarding, Vector. That other ingredient must have just slipped into your draft by accident. Oh, dear," he smirked.

She ignored him. She shrugged. Would she even want to remember this exchange anyway? Could she ever tell Vector any of this without him getting even? Screw it! "What did you tell her just before you were going to kiss her?"

"What are you talking about?" He looked at her steadily and sipped from his own tea cup.

"Well, you, er, had your hand in her hair and then did this great move like smoothed it back and touched her cheek again, which I have to admit was really endearing and then maybe you did some other move or so but you leaned in and whispered something before you tilted your head to kiss her." She couldn't help but gush. She wouldn't remember any of it so she plowed ahead.

"How touching…" He grimaced in embarrassment. "You are sick, Sinistra, and really and truly daft. I marvel at your insolence," he was trying to recover.

"Ok, but not stupid. Do you expect ME to believe that you didn't analyze every second of the EMBRACE?"

"Wait, Sinistra, this is not the last, you'll see….he lowered his voice. "I said I do…love you." He looked away from her.

"You did."


"Did you mean it?" She was floored.

"Absolutely not," his nostrils flared.


"I just wanted to get her….I just wanted her…"

"No, you didn't, it's a lie, more than anything, right, to quote you…"

He gave her a nasty look. "Regrettably, yes, oh, I've almost forgotten you will not remember a thing I will say. Yes. I lie for a living habit really."

"Did you mean it?"

"Stop it, Sinistra." He held a hand up almost to stop her. "Yes, I did mean it, and yes, I do love her more than you or her could ever imagine." He lowered his head for a moment and then looked up. "More than anything in my life, more then myself, and I would do anything in the world for her,"

"Anything?" She was trying to wipe the grin off her face, but was sure she couldn't.

"Anything." He nodded in all seriousness.

"Really?" she gushed.

He nodded. "And it doesn't matter because I can't be with her and I shall never do anything about it…not that it matters to her because she utterly despises me and it is all my own doing..."

And then his face grew grave.

"But I do want her out of the Order."

She looked as if her bubble had burst. "I'm not sure she despises you…kinda strong there….er, she cares about you in her own way and more than she realizes I think…and she is not going to leave the Order so…" It was too much. She had taken in too much and he had changed his emotions so much in such a short conversation, she felt as if she still couldn't wrap her head around it. "And I should warn you that McGongall and Sprout heard about the ring incident and I have a feeling you will hear of it and they won't let it drop. Uh, just be prepared or something."

"Aren't I always?" he cracked miserably. "And you are lying to me."

"No, I'm not. I think she acts stupidly, er, like you do."

"You really think so?" he asked softly and deferred to her.

"f know so, I think…. I feel it. I can tell. And now I won't remember any of this so you will have to figure all this out on your own."

"And you are fine…for now."

"Just don't attract anymore admirers." It was brave. She knew it.

"I believe I won't. Now you have five minutes until it wears off and three until this conversation is erased. Don't worry. You know my expertise with spells. And it is not "obliviate." Safer and a different spell I know. Go ahead, Sinistra. Anything else you'd like to ask? Time is of the essence."

The End