I stood outside Bella's window. I know it's weird that I come here sometimes at night. I just like to watch her when she doesn't know I'm watching. That's when she's unguarded and I feel like I can really see her. I consider myself to be pretty good at reading people, but she remains a mystery to me. There is something behind her eyes that I just can't reach. She kisses me, but there is no passion; no chemistry. Her words are always laced with promise, but her body never truly yields to me. I feel as though I am chasing her, but she always eludes me.
Right now I find myself faced with the reason. She is straddling her roommate. The same roommate she swears is merely a platonic relationship. Pfft. She's never looked at me that way. With such open adoration. With such heat. Desire. I can see her starting to move on him, her hips finding a natural rhythm in a dance as old as time. He steadies her with his hand on her hip, guiding her movements. I can see the expression on his face. Her feelings are not one-sided. In a flash I can see the clues playing like a highlight reel in my mind. The inside jokes they never share with anybody else. The synchronized way they move around the kitchen together cooking dinner. The way he can get a smile from her when no one else can. I know what I'm witnessing is more than just some random hook up. I should be upset, but I'm not. Everything makes sense now. I was always missing a part of her because she already belonged to someone else. Her head is thrown back in ecstasy, and he's holding her like he'll never let go. It's a beautiful sight. I should look away but I can't. So I stand there.