I hadn't planned on adding chapters to this, but now the first drabble has a friend to keep it company. Who knows, maybe there'll be more to come, stranger things have happened.
"Alice!" The panic in Hatter's voice had the hair on the back of Alice's neck standing on end.
"What! What is it?"
She came barreling into their bedroom to find a most distraught Hatter staring accusingly at her from his seat in front of the computer.
"You went out drinking with that 'ol' schoolmate' of yours again, didn' you?"
Still recovering from her moment of panic, it took a minute for Alice to understand the question. "Abby? We had lunch the other day... why?"
Hatter just continued to glare. "No, no. Not her. The one that started all the trouble the last time you two got together."
Alice was silent for a moment in thought. "... Nick?"
"That's the one!" He shouted in triumph.
"Hatter, it's been a year, maybe two, since he's even been in town."
"And good riddance! He's caused me nothin' but trouble with every visit."
Alice had the good graces to look guilty. "It was just that one time... and nobody believes that it actually happened..."
Hatter puffed up in indignation. "I had to sit and listen to Jack rake me over the coals for two hoursAlice, two hours. Do you know how hard it was to just sit there and try to be serious while 'his majesty' went on and on about 'the scandal'?" He rolled his eyes at the memory. "And I couldn't even defend myself, 'cause of course I'd taken you to the O.Z. when you'd asked, even though that's severely frowned upon at the momen'. And of course we'd hear a thing or two about what had been happening 'round there lately. But I didn't think you'd go off and blab it all to the first person you'd come across that'd listen." He was really getting upset by this point.
Alice wasn't too far behind him. "Listen here, you ass. It was your idea to take a vacation in the first place, and I didn't even know about the 'O.Z.'," here she used air quotes, "until you mentioned wanting to go there, so don't try to pin all the blame on me. And I didn't go 'blab to the first person.' I've known Nick for a very long time... how was I supposed to know that he'd want make a movie out of it." The last was said a little abashedly. "But that was awhile ago, and you weren't this upset about it before... what's this really about?"
He was pouting now and moved so that she could sit at the computer and see what he'd found. There, in bright colors was a site dedicated not to Alice in Wonderland, but to her and Hatter.
"Looks like Nick made another movie. Good for him," she said, trying to hide her laugh.
"Good for... are you mad, woman?" Hatter's left eye was starting to twitch. "I'm not takin', the fall for this one." It was said very seriously, but he knew he was lying. He'd do anything to protect his little oyster. Even sit through another of Jack's lectures to spare her the horror of the king's pompous speeches.
"It's not so bad. There are a lot of Wonderland movies coming out right now... no one's gonna think any more about this than the others."
"I'm not upset about that," he waved her back and navigated to a more specific spot on the site. "I'm upset about this."
She leaned forward again to get a closer look. At first glance it looked like a simple story about Hatter's adventures before they'd met, but as she read on her eye brows started to rise.
"An' there's loads of 'em just like this one."
"Wow... I... I had no idea," she said with a hint of mischief.
Hatter looked well and truly upset. "Don't say that. It was never like that! I can't believe... this is... this is just... wrong!"
Alice had to laugh. "Didn't you read the part at the top? Where it says 'pairing'? They did try to warn you. How did you even find this anyway?"
"Alice, you're losing sight of the point here. Somewhere out there, there are people that think that March and I... that we... we were..." A shiver ran through him. "Eww."
Alice had to laugh. Poor Hatter had stumbled onto fanfiction, and it truly takes all kinds.
He looked to her for help. "How do I get rid of it?"
"You don't. You can't. It's freedom of speech, or freedom of the press, or something like that. People can write whatever they want."
"But it's completely untrue! It's slanderous even." He began to pout once more.
Alice stood and put her arms around him. "My poor, poor Hatter. Just think of it this way. No matter what anyone thinks or what anyone writes, it doesn't change who you are and the fact that we're together."
He gave a heavy sigh. "Fine, fine. But no more drinks with Nick unsupervised, yeah? Else he and I are gonna have ta have a li'l chat." He gave her a small smile and returned the embrace. "What would I do without you?"
Alice gave a little burst of laughter. "Spend all of your time and money hunting down the authors to those stories."
Note 1: Was the story too subtle? Every one catch that Alice's friend is Nick Willing? And that Hatter found slash with himself and March? I've gotta ask because my fiancé read it over for me and he knows nothing of the series (or fanfics), so of course he had trouble connecting the dots. I made the assumption while writing this that if you're reading this you're as addicted the series as I am.
Note 2: I've nothing against non-cannon pairings, but I can't help but have this thought every time that I see one of them... What would the characters think if they read that story? Now we know. (And knowing is half the battle. te-he)