Disclaimer: Still don't own Chuck or any of the characters therein. And my version of them is very screwed up, so, yeah, you can see why Schwartz and Fedak would be hesitant to share with me.
A/N: M'kay guys, this is the last chapter of this installment of the epic (or not so much) Adorable Psycho saga. Meh, this came out much sweeter than I'd originally intended, but hopefully you'll still find it enjoyable. As always, a big thanks to MXPW for helping me come up with this entire concept, although he had little input on this chapter. I'm sure it would have been better had he, haha. Oh, and I feel I must say this, because some people have complained. This Sarah is VERY violent. And she's really crazy. That's the fun part of writing her. I'm sorry if that offends some people. Now, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please review. Thanks!
Adorable Psycho's Letter of the Law
Part III: Get Some
Cast in order of appearance
Sarah Walker --- Yvonne Strahovski
Chuck Bartowski --- Zachary Levi
Los Angeles, California
Keeping Chuck in the dark about what happened had been easier than Sarah thought. Just a little concealer over her eye where that stupid tramp had landed a flailing punch, and all physical evidence was gone. And her daily phone calls to Devon to check on the patients and remind him how blackmail worked secured her secret.
She almost felt bad for Devon. After all, the event she was holding over his head wasn't even his fault, really. He'd been forced to play a part to help secure Chuck's cover that involved playing tonsil hockey with an enemy agent. He hadn't even wanted to do it, and had protested vehemently, but eventually caved to Chuck's request. So really, Sarah was holding the fact that Devon was a good guy over his head. But as guilty as that made her feel, she still wasn't willing to give up her special night with her special nerd.
And the day was already starting out to be extremely special. She'd heard someone enter her room just as the light of dawn was beginning to creep in through the blinds of her window. Just as she'd trained herself to do over the years, she got a firm grasp of the knife under her pillow and prepared to end the intruder, until she sensed the unmistakable smell of freshly made pastries and coffee. Opening her eyes just slightly, she saw that it was Chuck that had broken into her room. But of course it was.
The Chuck/Sarah relationship agreement Article 2.3
Chuck Bartowski, hereinafter referred to as Chuck, shall agree that on now fewer than two (2) occasions during every calendar year (January 1st to December 31), to serve Sarah breakfast in bed. These occasions shall be unannounced, but should generally occur on special occasions as discussed in paragraph four (4) of article one (1). This clause is subject to renegotiation should more special occasions be added to the previously discussed list.
That was one of Sarah's favorite parts of the contract, mostly because Chuck himself had put it in. She hadn't even had to request such treatment. Chuck really was the best boyfriend in the world.
He sat down on the edge of her bed and began to lightly run his fingers over her face before leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"Mmmm," Sarah murmured, basking in his touch. "Mornin'" she greeted him.
"Good morning," he said with a smile. A smile that quickly faded as he seemed to notice something. "What happened?" he asked, lightly touching her bruised eye.
Shit! She hadn't had time to put on makeup before seeing Chuck this morning. Now she had to come up with some reason that she looked like someone had kicked her ass. Which totally wasn't the truth. It was just a wild swing that happened to connect. She looked way better than the two broads she'd beaten nearly to death. Of course, that was what she was trying to keep from Chuck, so she couldn't very well tell him that.
Now she was faced with a real conundrum: fess up to what happened and protect her pride, or lie and say someone attacked her?
"Sarah, don't lie to me," Chuck said sternly. He really was getting much better at reading her. Or maybe she was getting worse at lying to him.
"Fine," she huffed. "There were these two women, and I, um…"
Chuck stood up from the bed and began backing away. "Sarah, you were already at your limit for the week," Chuck said warningly.
"That's not true!" Sarah exploded. "I only had two during the past seven days! That guy in the parking lot was on Monday."
"But you said there were two women. That would put your total to four for the past week," Chuck pointed out.
Dammit! If she had just said one woman, she could have just moved on and started enjoying her day. But stupid CIA pride got in the way again. Still, she had an ace up her sleeve. "I didn't kill anyone," she said. "No one is dead," she added, intentionally leaving out the "yet" part.
"Really?" Chuck asked skeptically.
"Really," Sarah answered softly, sliding over towards where he stood. He didn't need to know that there were two women on death's door being kept alive only by respirators.
"You're not just saying this so we can celebrate today? You're not just going to tell me tomorrow that you were lying?"
"I wouldn't do that, Chuck. Relationships are built on honesty. Isn't that what you told me?" she asked, grabbing his hand. After all, withholding the truth isn't technically lying. And she didn't want to sort out the details just yet.
Chuck tensed briefly at her touch before relaxing. He sat back down on the bed with her and looked into her eyes, seeming to search them for honesty. "You're right, Sarah. I'm sorry I didn't believe you," he said.
Then their lips met in a soft kiss, which quickly turned into more. Breakfast was forgotten for the time being.
An hour later, Chuck and Sarah lay in Sarah's bed, bereft of clothes and satisfied. Sarah was propped against the headboard, enjoying the now cold breakfast Chuck brought her.
"Even cold, this is so much better after sex," Sarah professed, taking another bite of her chocolate croissant.
"Uh, huh," Chuck answered. Then looking over at his girlfriend: "You didn't want to put clothes on?"
"Just to eat?" she asked, her words muffled by the mouthful of food.
"I don't know, it's just kind of weird, I guess," Chuck said shrugging.
"Why's it weird? You've seen me naked hundreds of times, Chuck," Sarah replied.
"Four-hundred, twenty-two times," Chuck said without thinking.
"You've kept count?" Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow. "I guess that's kind of sweet, in a really creepy way." She paused. "Does that include this morning?"
"Four-hundred, twenty-three times," Chuck answered.
"So," Sarah began, changing the subject. "Are you going to tell me where we're going tonight?"
"Nope," Chuck said smiling.
It was certainly worth the wait. Dinner was fantastic. It was weird, but in all her world travels, Sarah had never had Egyptian food before, but the food and the service at Café Dahab was to die for. Well, maybe that wasn't the best way of putting it, seeing as there were still two women near death in a hospital because of her, but Sarah didn't care.
Only making the evening better was the fact that she got to share a new experience with Chuck. She felt bad sometimes that she had lived a life such that there weren't many things that she hadn't done. Whenever she got to do something for the first time with him, it was always a thrill.
"Did you enjoy it?" Chuck asked.
"Mmhmm," Sarah said, leaning back from the table, a look of contentment on her face. "It was amazing."
"So what would you say to a moonlit walk to our hotel?" he asked.
"I'd say it's a bad idea," Sarah answered.
"What?" Chuck asked surprised.
"Takes too long," Sarah said simply. "We'd get there quicker driving, and I'm ready to get back."
"Trying to rush the romantic evening, Agent Walker?" Chuck teased.
"Not at all," she responded. "But I'm ready to get to our room, because, spoiler alert, you're going to get laid."
Chuck laughed. "Well, if the lady insists…"
"Oh, she does," Sarah replied eagerly. Then in one motion, she stood up, grabbed Chuck's hand, and began pulling him out the front door. She didn't want to waste any time. After all, at any minute her half-lie could surface, and she'd be screwed. Or not screwed. However that worked.
Sarah sighed contentedly. Her plan had worked. She'd managed to keep Chuck off her trail for long enough to have her special day, and boy did she ever have it. Four times in one twenty-four hour period. That was pretty damn good, if she did say so herself.
She looked over at the bedside clock as it ticked over to midnight. She was completely out of the woods. Smiling, she picked her phone up from the table, and dialed the hospital.
"Hello? Devon? This is Sarah. You can pull the plug," she said simply, and ended the call.
"Sarah?" she heard from behind her.
"Hmm?" she asked, squinting her eyes closed, all too aware of the tongue lashing she was about to receive.
"What was that about?"
She sighed. "I'm up to two for this week," she answered.
"Sarrrahhh," Chuck growled.
"Sorry," she said with a shrug. "Let's do it again!"
A/N: Well, that's it for this one, folks. But fear not, the Adorable Psycho saga is not over. Sarah has many people left to kill, and so little time to do it, haha. I hope you've enjoyed this, and I look forward to your reviews. You guys are awesome. Peace.