Standard Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter and his universe are the property of the brilliant JK Rowling. The same, of course, applies to all following chapters.
Vernon Dursley was having a very bad day. Not bad in the conventional sense, but abnormal. And to him, that was even worse. The freakishness started early when, on his way to work, he saw a cat reading. Later, the abominations came out in droves, all of them wearing dresses- even the men. One of them had the audacity to try to speak with him, Vernon Dursley, who was perfectly normal and different from the freaks in every conceivable way.
Yes, all things considered, Vernon Dursley's day was one he would prefer to forget. To top it all off, he was still awake well after midnight. He had been lying in bed for several hours contemplating his day, trying to fall asleep. He had to be at work bright and early tomorrow morning after all, and could not have people talking about him staying awake late at some party. To be fair, he was only unable to sleep because the brandy he drank after seeing an owl in broad daylight was not sitting well with his heavy dinner.
After much consideration, Vernon decided he would not be able to sleep without a glass of warm milk and perhaps a couple biscuits. He rolled out of bed and lumbered downstairs to the kitchen. When he was heading back to bed after enjoying his snack, he heard what sounded like three different voices coming from his front yard.
Vernon stormed to the front door and threw it open before fainting.
The first thing he saw upon regaining consciousness was a very old man in a dress. He was leaning over looking down at Vernon over a pair of half-moon spectacles, while his silver beard and hair dangled near the floor. "Vernon Dursley, isn't it?" he asked as he placed what appeared to be a stick in a pocket.
"Who the bloody hell are you?" he blustered.
The man chuckled softly before answering, "My name is Albus Dumbledore. I am the Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"You're one of those… those freaks, aren't you?"
"I am a wizard, yes."
"Get off my property."
Dumbledore frowned, "I fear I cannot do that just yet, Mr. Dursley. I wish I were here for a more pleasant reason, but I must tell you that your sister-in-law and her husband were killed."
"Got themselves blown up, eh?"
He sighed, "I am here to deliver your nephew. He will need a proper home."
Vernon's face turned puce and he started growling, "I most certainly will not take in that little freak."
"Mr. Dursley, I must insist," Dumbledore began.
"I don't give a damn what you insist. I have my own family to support and will not be raising your little oddity."
"I am prepared to pay for his room and board."
Vernon's eyes lit up upon hearing this. He had only recently started selling drills, and was not yet making enough to live the life he knew he deserved. "All right then. I'll want to make a decent profit on the boy."
"Very well," Dumbledore responded solemnly. "We will, of course, be keeping an eye on Harry to make sure he is treated properly."
Vernon grumbled but did not say anything.
"When he is eleven, he will be attending Hogwarts," Dumbledore said.
They spent the rest of the night discussing an agreement which would allow Harry to stay at Privet Drive for monthly payments at the expense of the Headmaster.