Summary:Eric finds comfort in the last moments.
Notes: Spoilers for "I will rise up". Angst and fluff.
Eric tore into the stairwell. He didn't last long after sunrise. The bleeds would start any minute, but at the rate he was crying it probably wouldn't matter.
He told himself to grow up, to wipe his tears away and sleep. Still, the tears came, and his body wracked with silent screams as he fell to his hands and knees "Godric, Godric....why...why?" He sobbed as he crawled towards the doorway.
'As your maker, I command you.'
The voice wrecked his thoughts, not allowing him to come closer to the door. He clutched his head in his hands and screamed again, still silent, trying to empty himself of it all.
'I am stronger than this.' He thought 'I can fight this. I am strong. He made me that way. I can stand. I can walk away. I can live because it is the life he gave me, and he doesn't see fit for today to be my end. I can take his command and stand myself up on it, let it be the only thing that keeps me alive until I find another reason...I can carry out his final command...'
He choked on a sob and curled into a ball against the wall, closing his eyes, not bothering to wipe the tears away. He clenched his fists as he wrapped his arms around his chest, and heard a crinkling noise. Sitting up with a start, he unclenched his hands and found in his left a neatly folded peice of hotel stationary.
He stared at it only a moment, before opening it frantically, his hands shaking as he tried to read. Momentarilly, the words became clear:
My Dearest Eric,
I love you above all things. Please believe that my choice is for the best. I have never been so happy as in my time with you, so don't think you had any part in my decision. Two thousand years is a long time to live, and we are only meant to take in so much for every lifetime. I have grown weary of this world, and tired of this life in the shadows. Though it means my death, I will see the sun again.
I know that in our time together, you have rejected religion, but I have not. I never forced any beliefs upon you, but know now that if there is a God, I will answer to him for every sin I have commited except for one.
Being with you.
You are the one sin I will never repent for. If that means I am to spend an eternity in hell, so be it. But I don't think God, should he exist, is so hateful that he would damn me eternally because of my love for you.
Please, do not lose your faith in me because of what I have done. Have faith that we will see one another again. If there is a God, I will wait a thousand years more for you, and we will face him together. You know that in the past, I have always done what is best for you. I have been your family, your teacher, your lover, and I regret not a second of our time together, except for the times that I taught you to be selfish, to do whatever it takes to survive. Take this to heart- I believed that for so long, but the course our lives have taken leads to a dead end. Please do not follow the same path as I. Please realize that there is more to our existance than survival alone, before it is too late.
I never want to see you as I have become. I made you because of your beautiful strength, and because of it, you shall perservere. I love you. I love you so much, though neither you or I have ever said so. I love you, and it is with that love that I write these words:
As your maker, I release you.
You now have a choice to do as you please. You may step outside and meet the sun as well if you like. But if your love for me is as strong as mine for you, you will not. You will understand that I have your best interests at heart. Please, do not forget me. And forgive me for leaving you like this. Because this isn't goodbye. In all of our time together, has it ever really been? I have every faith that we will see one another again some day.
I love you. I wish we could have been together one last time, but there was no time. You are the one thing that ever made my life worth living. Please keep me in your heart, and continue to live, if only for me.
Until we meet again, my love.
Eric cried even harder, leaning against the wall. After a moment of letting what he had just been told sink in, he stood and walked to the doorway. He stuck his hand out into the sunlight and grimaced as it blistered, then retracted it. He could hear them outside.
"You will take care of him? Eric."
"I don't know, you know how he is."
"I suppose I can take the blame for that as well."
Eric grinned as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Maybe not. Eric is pretty much himself."
A moment of silence.
"Are you afraid?"
"No. I am full of joy."
"But the pain..."
"I want to burn."
"I am afraid for you" Sookie said, tears in her voice.
They continued to speak, but the words blended together in Eric's mind, only becoming clear when Sookie said "Goodbye, Godric." And he smiled to himself.
No, never goodbye.
He stuck his head out of the doorway and grinned as the left side of his face blistered, and his maker went up in flames.
"I love you." He whispered. "Always."