I forgot this fic even existed.

No, it does not exist. You are imagining me updating because secretly, you want to marry me and have Scottish children with me that eat Lucky Charms.

Just sayin'.

Title: Chocolate Whipped Cream
Summary: Bret, sweetie, time for your bubble bath. Ted/Bret.
For: Kimber

Bret McCoy DiBiase hated –hated- taking baths.

It didn't matter that he was now a grown man and had a brother that was working in the wrestling business…nope, not at all. The only thing that mattered was that he hated the soapy bubbles touching his skin and he hated being submerged in the lukewarm water and he would sometimes have a timer just so he wouldn't have to feel so clean. It was like cleansing away a part of the day, the odor that came with being a man—the perfume a la masculine that he carried around quite strongly and proudly.

He liked smelling like things found in nature, like twigs and mud, like leaves and pine trees and he liked the manliness of it all. Just because Ted was a wrestler, he was thought of as manlier than Bret ever was and that clicked on buttons that Bret didn't even know existed but he didn't whine and he didn't complain because truly, that was a woman's job and Bret DiBiase was no woman. He bore nothing on his hips but the leather belt that held all of its assets for gardening and the weight of the world was on his shoulders but that was just typical, wasn't it?

The shiny sunny daylight was reaching his curtains and he found himself stretching, his back strong and firm and then just as he was going downstairs to make his regular breakfast of two eggs, two pieces of toast, with mushrooms on the side – he realised that in the usually empty table, there was his oh so famous brother Teddy sitting there with a red plate of mushrooms, eggs, bacon and a piece of toast on the side for some carbohydrates but of course, the plate consisted of more protein than anything else and to wash it down was a protein shake.

Puh-lease, Bret wanted to slam his belt and move away but he didn't. He simply smiled, trying to be as friendly as possible. Ted noticed his slightly displeased tone of moving but didn't say anything. Bret made his way towards the toaster and started making his breakfast. Ted scrunched up his nose. "Bret, how old are you? You didn't shower yesterday, did you?"

"No, a man's odor is special. I like to make it last." Bret simply responded.

"Bret!" Ted laughed loudly, causing Bret's hatred for his brother's too-full attitude to rise to its limits but he still managed a smile as he made a coffee, stirring the sugar and cream and allowing the scent to finally allow his brain cells to function. All Bret could see were scenes of mutilating Ted in a hundred different ways whilst wearing Lady Gaga's bodysuit and a meat tenderizer into his hand, slamming in Ted's face, chanting "YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME."

But…instead, Bret just sighed and Ted had shaken his head, pulling up his shake and sipping from it. "You're a kid, you know that, right?"

"I'm not!" Bret rejected, sounding whinier than he thought he would and so the silence consumed him afterwards before he glared back at his brother. "Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be off in your big-shot wrestling gig and off fucking random girls?"

"I'm married—"

"Like you care," Bret huffed into his coffee, with a sick little smile onto his face. "I know you, big brother and you're in no shape or form faithful to anyone for as long as you'd like to be, isn't that true?"

"Once," Ted responded. "That's just it. She was a quickie."

More silence before Ted broke the ice again, and caused Bret to jump. "Speaking of banging girls…" Ted was quizzically staring at his brother before shaking his head, 'you're gay, aren't you?"

In that second, all could be heard, the crash of the yellow mug to the floor and Bret punching his brother hard into the jaw, holding the collar of his brother's green shirt and staring at him with cold, hard eyes. "You bastard!"

"I know you, Bret," Ted shook his head, and he pushed Bret's chin up. "I know you, baby brother and one thing's for sure, you try to hide it all by being 'manly' but really, you need a bath and you need to admit that you're really gay, you know. Dad's been suspecting that."

"Is that why he loves you more than me or is it because Teddy is in the business or what?" Bret responded, unable to keep his thoughts to himself as Ted dragged his brother up towards the bathroom and opened up the water. Bret was trying to move away from his brother's grip but Ted's grasp on Bret's yellow-red-and-orange plaid shirt was strong and Bret found himself tiring out.

"He doesn't love you more than me, Bret."

"He does. He does!" Bret responded, watching as Ted started filling the tub with water. "You're going to bathe me? Like a little kid? You're fucking serious?"

"You are a kid, Bret."

"No, I'm not."

"Really?" Ted looked at him with a half-smirk onto his face.

"I'm hungry." Bret said, wanting to move away but Ted shook his head, pushing his brother backwards as he reached in to rummage through the drawer of the dresser beside the bathroom.

"Let me guess. Childhood habit. You still keep half your snacks in your drawer."


Ted pulled out a can of chocolate whipped cream and smirked at him. "Really?"

"Just stop it! I hate you!" Bret tried to push Ted but the stronger Ted had a forceful grip onto Bret's hand and pushed him off the door and locked it. "So what? Do you expect me to just undress in front of you?"

"You don't care. You never cared. Are you scared, Bret?"

Those were the magic words being spoken. Bret instantly was taking off his plaid shirt to expose the white shirt underneath. He was then proceeding to take it off as fast as possible, as if he was in a race. Ted was shaking his head as if to say 'same habits as before' as Bret continued to undress himself until he was completely naked and smiling at his brother as if he'd accomplished a feat of a lifetime.

"Now, get into the tub, baby brother."

"This is stupid."

"How do you think I feel?"

Bret moved towards the water and laid his body out, feeling the warmness of the water but there was sleepiness in his eyes. He looked very tired and sluggish and seemed like he just wanted to get out. He was reaching for the shampoo and massaging it through his hair and just as he was getting used to it, he felt a hand creep up behind him, pushing him into the water and pushing him off. A naked Ted was joining Bret, and Bret stared at his brother as if he was insane. "TED!"

"…admit it. You're gay." Ted responded, still smirking.

"How do—?"

In an instant, Ted's lips met his brother's own and they were exchanging nothing but emotions through the kiss. Bret melting into his brother's arms, like cheese melting into the deepest pores of a sandwich when in the toaster. Bret pulled off for a moment and their eyes met. Ted waited for Bret to call him sick. Instead, he heard his brother mumble "I'm hungry."

Ted threw the can of chocolate whipped cream towards Bret's hands.

"If you answer me one question, I'll do whatever the hell you want," Bret responded, causing Ted to raise an eyebrow. Bret slowly put the chocolate whipped cream on the surface of the orange-and-blue tiles and then stared back at Ted with soulful eyes and a smirk on his face. "When was the last time you had chocolate whipped cream anyway?"

"You could have any question in the world and you choose to have that one."

Bret nodded, reaching to get the can again into his hand and then squeezing the chocolate-y foam into his mouth before nodding his head, grinning at him.

"Not since that night."

Bret raised an eyebrow. "What night?"

"You know that night..." Ted sighed softly. "That night, Bret, dammit! That night I saw you fucking naked and into my man's Cade's arms. I left Cody alone for a minute to go get some chocolate whipped cream from your cupboard, and then I heard something in the bathroom and knew there was no way in hell you were taking a bath and walked it only to see Cade – holding you like this..."

Ted's hands were around Bret's shoulders. "Leaning in like this..." Ted's face was inching closer to his face. Bret's breathing was getting more ragged.

"And then what?" Bret smirked. He was playing the game and he had Ted in his hands and it felt powerfully amazing.

Ted's breathing was as frayed as Bret's own. Ted closed his eyes and remembered the scene for a moment. "I wanted to fuck you. I wanted to fuck you so badly, driving my cock inside of you, to tear you into every way possible...I wanted to hit every nerve in your body and make you cum for me. Not for Cade. For me. I wanted you to beg, thrust your hips into the air and fucking scream. Fucking fuck, Bret..."

"And...?" Bret asked, continuing to allow the smirk to play on his lips.

"I want you to taste me, you fucking whore. Look at what you're doing to me," Ted allowed Bret to hold his erection before Bret purposely let out a soft moan under his breath and that was just it. Ted grabbed onto the bottle of whipped cream and then shoved a great deal of the cream inside of Bret's lips. Ted squeezed the cold liquidized foam into his hands as he coated Bret with it. Coldness touching Bret's skin – causing Bret to wrap his arms around Ted's own, suggestively raising his eyebrow at him as Ted had massaged his own cock with the chocolate foam. He then proceeded to shove himself inside of Bret's body without an indication of what he was to do, causing Bret to nearly jump up as he felt the warm water and the cold foam integrate to make the most wonderful sensation he'd ever felt.

"You slippery and wet and gorgeous bitch," Ted laughed. "So slippery I can feel every flab of skin allowing my cock to slowly slide in smoothly – fucking amazing."

"If you swear one more time, I'm going to fucking kill you," Bret snapped at him.

Ted allowed another laugh to make his way before he hit Bret again. It was fast, as Bret had noticed. Ted noticed how flexible Bret was, and wondered in how much positions Bret could actually wrap around him like a little Earthworm wrapped around a finger. Bret had wrapped his legs around Ted's waist, his arms still entangled within his neck. "How flexible was Bourne?"

"How did you –?" Ted asked before Bret had kissed him. Ted had chosen the moment to feel Bret's smooth leg line as he'd slipped in and out as quickly as possible, feeling the warmth of Bret's inside, and he'd grabbed onto the chocolate whipped cream again before he'd shoved the tip of it on his ass, causing Bret to nearly jump up as his nerves prepared for the coldness. His sensitive skin meeting the coldness with a welcoming sensation. Ted had shoved himself inside of him with his wet cock, feeling nothing but the coldness mish together with the warmth of the water, and the "ahhh ahhh ahhhhhhhhh" erupting from Bret's lips, girly freak. Each note of his voice was squeakier than the last.

Ted had hit him one last time before allowing his cum to infiltrate his ass, making Bret allow every emotion to escape his lips with a moan. Bret's body was still trembling under Ted's touch, allowing Bret to look like he was flying in another universe. "Yeeeeeeeees," Bret let out, with a smile reaching his lips. Ted nearly laughed at the look of ecstasy on his brother's face.

"Someone's on crack."

"Shut the fuck up, brother."

"I'll leave you to it," Ted had slipped out of the shower, smirking at his little brother's displeasure. Bret had to bathe now and Ted knew that that would kill him but just as he was to leave, Bret held Ted's arm and then allowed a smirk to make his way towards his lips. "There's a little mess near your cock. Riggggght..."

Ted had cleaned himself just before he'd slipped out so he didn't know what he was talking about before Bret wrapped his lips around Ted's cock, allowing it to harden again at the feel of Bret's moist tongue. Bret had slipped around and licked around, knowing where to bring about Ted's senses before Ted had come inside of Bret's mouth. Bret moved away, watching the liquid spill. "There," he finished the sentence.

"You are so paying for this."

"Maybe," Bret winked at Ted.

Holy goat's crap.

It's been so long since I've posted an update here I'm sure people forgot I existed.

Title: Pudding
Summary: "You better tell them that you belong to me," Randy growled as he watched Evan move from one dressing room to another. Evan pouted at him. "You're no fun anymore. A little flirting is harmless." Randy raised an eyebrow with a smirk meeting his face, "you know what else is harmless...?" Evan/Randy.

Love on xx I'll update tomorrow. I swear on my cinnamon-scented coffee!