(This is the story of two unlikely characters joining forces to save one of the most important days of all time. Christmas.)
Date: December 24, 2009.
Time: 10:15 P.M.
Setting: City of New York
Deadpool chuckled as he wrote his entry for the night. He didn't know why he was so happy. Could it be the Christmas air?... Nah.
He loomed on an office building over the a city sheeted with the night. But seriously, that seems so unoriginal, you know? Writing in a journal while waiting for his prey to come along. Come on. Respect Rorschach for once!
"Oh, you're one to talk!"
"Yeah, I'm talking to you! What right do you have to make fun of me when you're the one telling me what to do?!"
Heh heh. Damn it, Deadpool! Stop breaking the fourth wall!
"Oh, still blaming everything on me. Do something original for once in your life!"
Um, Deadpool. Let's just get back to the story.
"Hey, I'm not done with you--" Suddenly, Deadpool stopped talking until the plot thickened.
"Wha-- Mmph mm nmnnph h mmmph!.... Hmph." Anyway, Deadpool decided to brandish his M16 seeing as no one had not walked by for hours. He began to think he would not walk by at all. But then, a tingling feeling crept up his spine. Not the feeling that someone was going to jump at him and kill him, nor the feeling that someone had poisoned him or planted a bomb on him. Those he would not be afraid of. This was the rapturing feeling that he was going to kill someone soon.
With deadly silence, he unhooked the flap on his Beretta. Then, as if time had stopped, he swung around with inhuman speed and shot with a mad furiousness into the darkness. When the clip fell from the gun, five bodies fell to the ground.
"That's funny," he opinionated, "There are usually six." Suddenly, three of the others leaped out and surrounded him. These tall, blue clad ninjas looked at him with burning eyes and intent to kill.
To ease this awkward silence, Deadpool chirped merrily, "Look I don't know if I have time for this. You know, gotta assassinate someone, kill the wife and kids goodnight. Can we continue this later?" All three lunged. "Okay." As the first one reached him, he drew his sword and as he dodged, thrust the sword into his back. The ninja shrieked in pain.
"Say, did that hurt? Sorry, my victims usually die painlessly." He was cut off by a sword running through his back. He turned his head. "You really shouldn't run with sharp objects." With that, he turned his Assault Rifle on the ninja and shot him in the side. Then swinging around, he blasted his head open
"Just as I thought. All hot air in there." He spotted the last ninja running from the killing fest. "Wait!" Deadpool shouted, "Don't you want cake?" The ninja kept running from roof top to roof top. However, his sprint ended abruptly when Deadpool teleported in front of him. "I guess not." After saying those final words of sadism, he shot the ninja with his Walther until he backed up enough to fall off the building.
"Well, that was easy," Deadpool exclaimed. He looked down to see his defeated enemy, unmasked, dead, and just a young boy. "Hmph. Good riddance." As he turned around though, his mood changed completely to see a big red sleigh that appeared out of nowhere.