Chapter 6: Part 2

Marie raced down the hall knocking out the guards with a swift punch to the neck. She looked into her palmpilot to see where the nearest cell was. Strangely enough, she was standing right next to it.

She looked around to see nothing. Suddenly, she heard a tapping nearby. It was the wall! She followed the tapping to it's source. So, she thought, they must be able to see through the wall.

"Hold on!" she shouted taking out her rocket launcher. "Stand back!" The tapping stopped for a while and turned into beeping. Beep beeeep beeeep. Beep beep beep beep. Beep beeeep. Beeeep. What are they saying? She pondered. Wait, morse code. They can't hear me and I can't hear them.

Wait to go, Sherlock.

"Wait, who said that?"

No one. Get back to saving them.

"Oh, Okay." She took out a walkie talkie, placed it against the wall, and sent them a message telling them to step back. Seconds later, they signaled her to. She pulled back the trigger and blasted a rocket into the wall. Unfortunately for her, she was not steady enough and she flew back. She, woke up to some excruciating pain in her chest. 5 broken ribs, she said to herself. When she looked up, the smoke already cleared away and she saw the wall was still there and there was no damage done to it.

As she laid her head back done to slip into unconsciousness, she said, "Now what?"

Deadpool, in the meantime, was on the floor being kicked in the gut and jeered at by Richelieu.

"The Merc with the Mouth, Ha!" followed by another kick. Richelieu felt very accomplished today, defeating the famous Deadpool, soon to defeat his worst enemies and rule this ice cap for himself.

Deadpool, on the other hand, saw Marie, his wife... er, the... person, broken on the floor, straining to get up. He looked in pity for not being able to do anything to help. He couldn't even help himself.

"Alright," Richelieu snickered. "What surprises do you have in store, Knucklehead?!" He attempted to deliver another kick, but partway through, Deadpool caught it. Using this to his advantage, he tossed the enemy back and away from the computer. He slowly ascended, using the control panel as leverage. As he lifted himself with his one arm, he conveniently activated the 'cell door release'. He looked on the monitor to see Santa and the elves all help Marie to her feet followed by an array of affectionate signs.

"What have you done?" Richelieu exclaimed in horror. "You released all of the prisoners!"

Deadpool spoke breathlessly. "Took Gasp the words Gasp right out of my mouth Gasp. The only worthwhile Gasp thing Gasp I've done with my life."

Richelieu yelled out in anguish. "You have become public enemy number one!"

Deadpool decided to insert a cheeky comment. "Hey. I've Gasp never been #1."

Richelieu pounced forward with his sword pointed at his new enemy. Deadpool tried to evade, but the sword just made it's target. Deadpool was stabbed through the side. He leaned on Richelieu's sword for support. He was dying and he knew it. Richelieu drew the sword out of Deadpool in sheer madness. He had become the only thing crazier than Deadpool himself.

As Deadpool fell to the floor, he grabbed his weapon. Then, he tossed it behind Richelieu. "What's this?" Richelieu said through his grin. "The famous Deadpool tosses his most prized possession, his gun, in his time of death?"

This time, Deadpool smiled. "I know this going to hurt you more than this hurts me."

Confused, Richelieu inquired, "What the heck do you mean by--" Bullets whizzed through the air and came on impact in Richelieu's back. As blood poured freely from his chest, he began to cry. "I...I don't want to die." With that, the sad elf-Sheeknock creature knelt to the ground, and died looking at his worst enemy. Deadpool.

Marie tossed the weapon and hobbled to Deadpool's side. "Hey Deadpool, wake up! We've set charges to blow this place to smithereens! You never miss an explosion!" She stopped herself there. "I mean, it's obvious you like explosions, right?"

Deadpool, this whole time, did not respond. Marie tried again to wake him. Nothing. Oh, dear God, no! Please.

"Marie, c'mon!" one of the elves urged her.

"Wait!!" she rushed to the computer and found Deadpool's teleporter. She placed it on Deadpool and activated it. "Everyone get over here!" Santa and all of the elves obeyed this order and with that, she set the teleportation device to send them to the sleigh. Everyone felt a tremendous push of G-force and then, they were outside.

They all looked on a the glacier as it shattered into millions of tiny frozen particles, then melting in the heat. Marie, however, was not so keen on watching. She was tearing herself apart trying to revive him.

"Santa, please help me!" she cried out. Santa quickly ran and knelt at Deadpool's side with Marie. He tore Deadpool's shirt open and analyzed the body to see what might have stopped his healing factor. He spotted the swollen arteries around his body and realized what happened. He placed his hand over Deadpool's chest and the swelling began to die down.

Marie limped over to the sleigh and grabbed Deadpool's dismembered arm. She placed it by the stump hoping that it would reattach. No such luck. She put her index and middle finger to his neck. Nothing. She choked. She decided there was nothing she could do. Then, both deliberately and involuntarily, she lifted his mask and kissed him. Nothing.

She looked at her husband in the snow. All of these years, she rejected him. Why? Well, besides the fact that he was shallow, and insane, and a murderer, but besides that..

"You're really not helping here."


Marie stared down again. She bent over onto Deadpool's body and sobbed. She always thought she knew how predictable he was until today. The Wade she knew would have used his opportunity to escape. This was a different Wade. She wondered if it was him that changed, or was it her?

But it was to late to ask him. He was gone. She clenched her fists to release the pain she felt. Nothing helped. She couldn't control herself knowing that she would never speak to him again, never kiss him, never here another sarcastic comment from him. Right as she began to know him, he was gone.

Oooooooooor so she thought. Out of no where, she heard a rumble in his chest, then a groan in his throat. "Please," he said faintly. "Don't cry. It stains the suit."

Marie looked at him in disbelief. "Wade?"

Deadpool managed a chuckle. "Didn't I tell you? I don't have a noticeable pulse."

Marie covered her mouth to prevent a cough of ecstasy. "I-- You-- You're alive!!"

Deadpool looked up. "Hey, did I miss an explosion?"

A cheer rose up from all of the elves. It seems they were watching the whole thing. Marie didn't notice. She looked at Deadpool, right at her side. Unwillingly, maybe, but still. He was here, she was there, that's all that mattered.

"So," croaked Deadpool, trying to straighten the situation out. "I was out for the rest of the fight? …. Shoot. I must have been really out! Was it epic? Did he hurt you? Should I care about that? Maybe I should. I don't know, it's all confusi--" Marie silenced him by pressing her lips against his. "That just made it all little more confusing."

He spotted familiar red component part of his body half buried in the snow. "Oh, yeah. I'm still missing that." He picked it up and placed it on the stump on his shoulder. Uncanny as it was to Marie, the muscle tissue reconnected little by little, until it became one with him again.

"That's something you don't see every day," he said.

Marie smiled. "Neither is love."

"Well, technically, it is. You know, there are thousands of people across--" Marie silenced him again with her lips. The two locked eyes on each other, both staring deeply into the other. Love was something Deadpool thought he knew enough about, but, of course, he was wrong. He forgot about this intimacy long ago. And he felt it now once more.

"Heh heh. It's been quite a day," chuckled nervously.

Marie smiled. "It has." Then, they realized how dangerous it was to get to comfortable in the snow and they help each other up. Off they limped to the sleigh. As Santa grabbed the reins, Deadpool held his breath.

"Tell me when it's over."

Santa looked back. "Son, it's far from over."

Opening his eyes, he asked, "Wait, what do you me--" SHOOOOOOOM!!!Off the sled went. "THAAAAAAAAAT WASN'T VERY NIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!!!"


One week later, the North Pole was finally free. The Sheeknock had all retreated. Their army fell apart after Richelieu died. Now, it was time for Deadpool to leave. After gathering all of his things (which were mostly just guns and knives) onto Santa's sleigh, he looked back at the North Pole. He thought of how great it would be to get out of the cold. But then, he remembered everyone he met. He remembered his friendship with the elves and Santa. He remembered Marie.

She meanwhile, also would miss Deadpool. She made up her mind and went outside.

"Wade!!" she shouted. He turned to see her running to the sleigh.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. He reached out her hand for him, which he greatfully accepted. They looked once more into each others eyes. "Sooooooo, did you have a good time last night?"

Marie smiled playfully. "I did, at least."

"So, ah, maybe we can do it again sometime?"

More mischief ensued. "I don't know. It's not every day you get to go to the North Pole."

"Wait for me, then." They leaned forward and shared on passionate kiss. As they pulled back, Santa chuckled.

"If you two are done," he said, "it's time to get going." He hopped into the sleigh with his unusual agility. Deadpool and Marie let go of each others hands.

"Goodbye!" Deadpool called out.

"Goodbye, Deadpool!" she answered back.

Deadpool braced himself at once knowing what came next. The reindeer rose into the sky and ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! They were gone.

As he flew through what seemed like eternity, Deadpool saw flashes of things that had happened that week. People, places, emotions. They made Deadpool forget what was happening. Suddenly, it all vanished. He looked around. New York City, the Big Apple, home.

Santa hopped out. "Well, Wade, it's been great. Now, before I go, I want to give you something."

Deadpool shook his head. "Look, I'm not a mercenary anymore. I'm a hero. We do things for the betterment of man kind, not for a reward."

Santa shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"Hey, come on! You know me!"

The jolly man laughed. "Alright." He reached into his bag and Deadpool's jaw dropped. You could not imagine the surprise he was in.

"Lucy!!" He grabbed his assault rifle and pet it in a scary, (almost lustful) way. "I'm never going to let anymore harm come to you! Thaaaaaaank you, Santa!!"

"You should thank Marie. She repaired it." Santa looked at Deadpool who looked at the gun like he never looked at a gun before.

"That makes it a lot more valuable, I guess." He looked up to say goodbye to Santa, but he was gone. He was on top of the office building he stood on a week ago. Or was it a week ago? The ninjas' corpses were all there. He scanned the city. It was still Christmas Eve. "I... guess it was just a dream."

He looked at Lucy, his lucky weapon; it went everywhere he went. Maybe this was the closest relationship he would ever have. Then, he noticed something. He held his gun to the dim light and read a carved inscription. It said this: Wade Wilson, know that I will never love anyone as much as you. Yours forever, Marie. Deadpool looked up to the midnight sky. He forced himself not to cry. He knew that fans everywhere would start posting death threats if he did. As Christmas Eve waned away, he put Lucy on his back, walking to whatever destiny awaited him. He was a changed man, changed for the better.

Well folks, that's it for "The Deadpool/Santa Saga"... Part One.

Don't worry about Deadpool. He eventually went crazy after he heard Marie never wanted to see him again.

Ain't I a stinka?

Tell me what feed you have for the next DeadpoolAhemandSanta story.

Thank you all for reading.

True to the screw. Whatever that means.