Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Final Fantasy VII. I never understood why we had to do this. If we're writing fanfics for it, we clearly don't own it. Seriously. Fan. Fiction. *rolls eyes* I don't think you'll find anyone on this website seriously claiming that they own this stuff.
I forgot to say this in the first chapter, but this is slightly AU. Any villain/dead/different-game-and-certain-characters-never-met barriers are nixed. Other then that, it's all the same. Meteorfall, Geostigma, etc., all still happened. But for different, unexplainable reasons. I guess most of that stuff wouldn't have happened without Sephiroth flipping a metaphorical shit which hit the metaphorical fan in Nibelheim… Heh…
The next day started just like every other day, except that it didn't.
Tifa sat up in bed and yawned.
"Good morning, Cloud," she said drowsily, then her eyes shot open and her hand flew to her mouth.
That wasn't her voice. She looked over to where Cloud usually was, to the right of her on the bed. Cloud wasn't there. Nothing was there. Not even bed. She was on the right.
"C, Cloud?" she asked, still not talking in her own voice. She didn't look at Cloud yet. She didn't want to. She was afraid of what she might see.
She could feel the bed move, as if he was rolling over.
"Hmmnn… yess Tifa?" he asked, he words slurred, but then he suddenly sat up. They looked at each other. Their screams could be heard throughout the entire neighborhood.
Zack wasn't a pleasant person in the morning. He rolled/fell out of bed, grumbled his way to the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush, and brushed his teeth without even opening his eyes.
But today was different.
As soon as he bent down to spit into the sink, his head was spinning and he had to stumble over to the toilet where he then proceeded to vomit.
When he finished he grabbed a towel off the rod and wiped his mouth, and when he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror, he didn't see the tan, black-haired man he saw every morning. He saw quite the opposite.
When he opened his eyes, staring back at him in the mirror was not himself, but his wife.
Rather than screaming, he shouted 'Holy shit!' at the top of his lungs, loud enough to wake up his/her wife/husband.
The person who looked like Zack but was in fact Aerith was in the bathroom staring at her self/the person who looked like her but was actually Zack faster than you could say 'mako.'
Then they screamed.
Ring ring ring.
Ring ring ring.
"Hello, Strife Delivery Service--"
"'You name it, we deliver it,' yes we know, Cloud. Could you please put Tifa on the phone?"
"This is she."
"That's very funny, Cloud. Now could you please put Tifa on?"
"No seriously, it's me. Tifa. Have you ever heard Cloud answer the phone with 'hello, Strife Delivery Service'? C'mon, Aerith, I know you've called here enough times to know that."
"Seriously. It's Zack."
"Alright. Aerith, get dressed! We're goin' to Tifa's! I think they--" Click.
"Cloud, get up. Zack 'n' Aerith are comin' over…" Tifa yawned. "I think the same thing happened to them. I thought I was talking to Aerith on the phone and she said it was Zack."
"Alright. Well gimme your old tank top and a pair of jeans."
"I don't have any jeans."
"Gimme summa mine then. And a belt."
"You need a bra, too," Tifa observed bluntly.
"You're gonna havta help me out with that part."
Cloud rolled his eyes. "I can do that by myself."
"Are you sure about that?"
"They're here already?!"
"They only live down the street, Cloud."
As soon as Tifa opened the door, Zack (Aerith's body) couldn't help but stare. Her hair was a mess, her shirt was inside out, her bra strap was hanging off her shoulder, and she looked really annoyed. She was also wearing Cloud's jeans.
"Hey, Aerith. Come on in."
"Um… are we interrupting something…?" he asked. Hahaha. Cloud got cockblocked!
"Hmm?" Tifa raised her eyebrows. Then she looked down at herself.
"Oh! No no no no no. Come in. You just got here faster than I thought you would. Didn't have much time to get dressed."
Yeah. Totally cockblocked. Ha!
Aerith (Zack's body) and Zack walked into Tifa's Seventh Heaven to see the complete opposite of what they were used to. Tifa had walked over to the bar and sat down, putting her elbows on the surface and her face in her hands. Cloud was behind the counter cleaning glasses. He smiled kindly at them.
"Hey, guys. Can I get you anything?" he asked pleasantly, almost identical to how Tifa usually does.
Hmmm… maybe not?
"No. That's alright. But we really need to talk to you," Zack replied. He and Aerith sat down at the bar and looked at each other.
"First, we have some news," Aerith said. "I--" she stopped and shook her head. "He-- she's pregnant." She pointed at Zack, and he laughed. Cloud walked out from behind the bar and hugged him tightly.
"We have news, too! A few weeks ago… Cloud proposed!" Cloud exclaimed and stuck out his hand, pulled it back in, smiled awkwardly, then walked over to Tifa and lifted her hand, showing them the engagement ring.
Aerith got about as far as hugging Cloud in her congratulatory spaz attack, but then she realized something.
"Cloud… why are you talking in third person? And you're acting kinda strange…"
Tifa sat up in her seat and cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not talking in third person. I've barely said anything at all." Then she and Cloud looked at looked at each other and burst into hysterical laughter.
"We have to talk to you guys, too. Something must've happened last night because when we woke up this morning, we weren't exactly ourselves," Cloud said.
Zack laughed. "Same with us. When I woke up, not only did I have an attack of morning sickness, but instead of finding that staring back at me in the mirror," he pointed at Aerith, "I found this," he said, and gestured towards himself.
Cloud smiled. "When I woke up, I realized that it wasn't my voice that I was talking with so I woke up Cloud, and we found that we were looking at ourselves."
Aerith sighed. "So…" she pointed at Tifa. "You're Cloud…" then she pointed at Cloud. "And you're Tifa."
They both nodded.
"Wait!" Zack shouted all of a sudden. "Does this mean I have to have kid?!"
Tifa jumped out of her seat in realization. "And do I have to wear a wedding dress?!"
The other two looked at each other. "Uhh… yeah," Cloud said. "Maybe. Of course, we don't know how long we're gonna be like this."
Aerith smirked. "Hey, Tifa?"
"Yeah, Aerith?" Cloud replied.
"I think I might enjoy this…"
"This whole situation means two things," she started. "One: I don't have to have a kid, or at least I don't have to go through some of the pregnancy. Two: You don't have to deal with all the pain in the ass pre-wedding stuff. And believe me, it's all a serious pain in the ass."
"It all means that Zack and Cloud get to do it. Because, well, we can't tell anyone about this. Except maybe Sephiroth. I mean, isn't this what you wanted, Zack? I do recall you wishing last night that you could understand…"
Tifa and Zack paled. "You did not…" Tifa said.
"So did I…"
Cloud and Aerith were laughing their asses off. "So…" Cloud said. "I guess all you have to do is have the kid, Zack, and Cloud, you have to deal with all the wedding crap, and we'll probably switch back."
Zack cringed. "Cloud, you lucky bastard. At least all you have to do in the end is wear a dress…"
1: PLEASE READ THIS FOR YOUR SAKE!! You've noticed the 'ZXA' and the 'CXT', right? Good. When those show up, it means that the couple described in the heading is going to be the one who is going to be talked about directly. For example, ZXA means that Zack's mind and thoughts will be called Zack, and CXT means that Zack's physical body will be called Zack. Dialogue is always the same. Zack's mind is always Zack when people are talking. Understand? I hope so. You'll catch on eventually.