I haven't had much motivation lately for this story but I figured I'd surprise my wonderful girlfriend Heather with an update. As well as surprise everybody else too. I can't guarantee it'll be the best simply because I haven't written in so long. But I will definitely try. Hopefully I won't disappoint.
I'm going to be wrapping this story up soon. I don't really remember where I originally wanted it to go. But I can tell everybody, there will be TWO endings. Both endings will be posted as separate chapters, and will be posted on the same day.
I can't believe he's back. I was doing so well without him. Why? Why him? Why now? I don't understand it. Michiru knows he's back. But she doesn't know how bad it's been. She just knows about the garage incident. I haven't been able to find the words to tell her how often he's been around.
"Dreaming about your little master again?"
There he was. Just as he always was. Standing there, mocking me. "Why do you care?" Thankfully Michiru was out of town. I think she was somewhere in London. She traveled so much that I always lost track. One week she was in Europe. Another week she'd be in the United States. She spent more time on a plane then she did at home.
"I worry about how she treats you Haruka. She leaves you here all by yourself and doesn't seem to ever care. Have you ever wondered what she does in her hotel room? Think about it, she's all alone, her girlfriend is hours away, don't you ever think she gets lonely. I wonder how many people she's fucked while away from you. Don't you ever wonder that?"
Of course I always feared that. I wasn't going to tell him that though, he'd just feed off of it. He would focus on that fear. He would exploit it. He would drive further and further down until I couldn't take it anymore. I mean, I could barely stand him now. "I trust her Kana." Not exactly the tone I wanted to let out. Maybe he wouldn't notice my slip-up.
"You forget my dear… I live inside of your mind. I know exactly what you think when you think it. You do fear her leaving you don't you?" He laughed. "You're a coward Haruka and you know it."
"I do trust her, that's not a lie. You should know that you dick." I glared at him before turning to walk away. I didn't have the patience to deal with him tonight. It was hard enough to say bye to Michiru earlier. I wish I could have gone with her. I sighed as I remembered a time when I could travel with her. But now that I had a job I couldn't anymore.
I didn't make it far through. He was right on my heels. Just like he always had been in the past. Whenever he did show up, he wouldn't leave me alone until he got what he wanted. "So you think I always want something? I'm not a mooch. I give you things too and you know it."
What has he ever given to me? I stopped for a moment to think about it. I couldn't think of a single thing… Well… nothing positive anyway. Because of him, I no longer had a sister. Because of him, I spent more than half my life in a psychiatric hospital. Though… if I wasn't in there I may have never met Michiru. On the other hand. If we were destined to be then we would have eventually met anyway. "What exactly have you given to me?" I suddenly feared his response.
"What about all of those times you were alone when you were growing up? You didn't exactly have a lot of friends as a child and you know it. Nobody talked to you because you were a freak… what am I saying? You still are a freak."
"Fuck you Kana." I finally turned back to face him. Big mistake. He was closer than I thought he would have been. A gasp escaped my lips and I stumbled backwards some. He laughed loudly at me.
"So you do want to fuck me? I always knew you did. You're a little slut just like your girlfriend. You want to spread those long sexy legs for me."
I lifted my hand to strike him. He moved. He was the coward for never holding still to take the blow. "I never wanted that nor will I ever want that you pig."
"My, my, someone's touchy today. Is it that time of the month ? Trust me Haruka I don't fuck lesbians. I'd rather just watch you do it. Don't think I haven't seen how close you and Makoto have gotten. Why do you think Ami killed herself?"
I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood. I didn't want to hear him talk about one of the best friends I'd ever had. "Don't even go there Kana."
"Why not? Don't want to think that it's true? I'm sure that's the real reason. She couldn't stand the thought of her wife leaving her for another equally crazy woman." He burst into an evil laughter. I tried covering my ears to no avail. His voice continued echoing inside my head. "She was smart. She knew if she died that would open the door for true romance to occur. Tell me… Why haven't you talked to Makoto lately? Have you been afraid you won't be able to control yourself? Afraid you might lose control and rape her? Or are you afraid you might actually like it?" He paused. I didn't answer, anything I would answer with I know he'd just turn around to use for his advantage. "Answer me!''
I jumped. I wasn't ready for him to suddenly yell at me. "Why do you care so much? You never used to care about anything I ever did before. Why start caring now? You're nothing but a self-righteous bastard and you know it!"
It was at that moment that Michiru's words replayed in my head. He court hurt us… But I can. "Oh, you're really going to listen to what some little where has to tell you? When did she say that? Wasn't it five years ago? Remember how you slammed her into the table? Didn't that feel nice? To have that power… that control?"
Right now I liked listening to her words. Her words were giving me some closure. I knew she was sane enough to tell the difference between what was real and what wasn't. She could never see Kana… so therefore, he wasn't real. I just had to learn not to listen to him. With a deep, reassuring breath I turned on my heel and calmly walked away.
"You think you can ignore me. You've tried it before Haruka. You can't hold out long." With another maniacal laugh, he vanished.