Reason five: You never listened long enough.
Reason six: …
I watched him trudge his way through the front door. He always trudges his way through the front door. It was kind of funny. He looked like a snail.
I sighed and looked at the chocolate bar in my hand. I glared at it. Damn thing made me random – no Malfoy's –
I wasn't a Malfoy anymore. It shouldn't matter that I should not get hyper.
I sighed. One year and I was still sore about that. I looked at Harry's snail like movements. I could imagine the trail of goo following him.
I blinked before throwing my head back and laughing. I felt his gaze on me and heard him walking towards me.
I looked up at him smiling as he looked down at me. He had an eyebrow quirked up. "And what is so funny?"
I tilted my head to the side and gave him a teasing smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
He rolled his eyes and trudged his way towards the bedroom. I turned my head watching him. I chuckled. "I love you!" I practically screamed. It wasn't something I would normally do but you know chocolate has sugar and sugar has this strange effect on people who have too much of it.
He just grunted in return. That sobered my mood a little bit.
"Spoil sport." I muttered before biting into that oh so good chocolate.
Harry had buried his face into his hands again. "I do not look like a snail."
Draco bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. You could always expect Harry – Potter to say something as idiotic as that. "Right. If that helps you sleep at night."
Harry looked at the blond between his fingers. For once in their married life he could see all the emotions in those silver eyes. He remembered he always knew that Draco displayed emotions through the eyes – especially towards him.
He just wondered when he forgot about it.
"Draco…" He started again.
"Reason number six: I-" Draco made a sound- something that sounded close to a whimper. Harry pulled his face out of his hands and looked at the blond. Draco was struggling to speak. Harry knew the blond never struggled to speak. Not like he was now.
Draco cleared his throat cursing himself for the mishap. "Reason number six: I can't really counter that one now can I?"
Harry got up from the couch and strode up to Draco. It surprised him that the blond coward back so helplessly. "Don't. I don't need pity Potter."
"It's not pity."
Draco just shook his head. Harry took a step back. He watched as Draco kept shaking his head. Then the blond froze and almost immediately a chuckle followed. "Really now why didn't I figure it out earlier?"
Harry waited. "That something- that thing that lead to all of this-to this shit marriage." Harry felt a pang of pain. "Fuck…" Draco said pulling his hair back with both hands. Harry wanted to comfort the blond when he actually saw tears. It- it was the first time Draco cried in front of him. He reached out. He wasn't sure how Draco even saw him reach out because he flinched away. It was the only thing that had his hand falling right back to his side.
"You were the only person who could make me feel any raw emotion. If it weren't for you I would still be a Malfoy. I would have married a pureblood witch and most likely I would have been happier with her than I have ever been with you."
"Draco that's not-"
Draco looked up at the raven. "It is true. I'm through with you denying everything. I'm through with being ignored. I'm through with giving myself up when I'm just another – another piece of flesh! Maybe it's too late to go back to being a Malfoy but at least I'll be something to somebody after this." Harry gaped. No –no that was not.
Harry moved closer to Draco but the blond would have known of it. "Don't come close to me. Just don't. I'll sign those fucking papers and move out as soon as I can just don't come close to me."
Harry slammed his fist to the side of the blond's head. Draco turned his head away. "Just let me speak."
"You already did Ha- Potter."
It absolutely broke his heart to hear his surname in that miserable tone. It was true. He already spoke. So why did he feel like speaking now – he was about to agree with Draco. He wanted to apologize for twisting it all up. Somehow taking all that he said back and manage to make them go through yet another complex phase. He never knew six reasons against his own could remind him exactly what attracted him to Draco. Despite Draco's background the blond was pure, honest, brutal to a point, and hell even that attitude attracted him. It was never just sex. No matter how casual he had been about it. The fist he had against the wall flattened out and pressed gently against a moist cheek. He felt Draco hold his breath. The blond trembled – Harry was entranced. The blond never trembled. He was always strong.
Three years (even the year before that) and he had crumbled Draco into nothing. Harry leaned in and pressed his forehead against the blond. "Merlin…I…"
"Please don't. Just…just let me sign the papers and leave." Draco begged. Harry had never seen the blond beg anywhere except in bed.
The blond shook his head. "Don't change your mind now." He begged softly. He really couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes. "I can't –I just can't- I wouldn't be able to handle if this happened again."
"Draco I'm sorry." Harry said wrapping his arm around the blond and pulling him close. "I'm sorry."
"I can't. I can't take this again." Draco kept muttering. "Just don't. Please…Harry please just don't. Don't make me give everything up for you again. I don't have anything left."
Harry felt his eyes watering. He rocked the blond back and fourth. "Gods…Draco I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"
Is apologizing the only thing he could do?
He held the blond for as long as he could. He listened to Draco's broken voice. He rubbed the small of Draco's back – something he knew calmed the blond – even just a little. Harry buried his face into that hair and suddenly remembered how Draco always smelt like strawberries. He held onto the blond tighter.
Then the blond stopped. He just went limp. Harry pulled him away slightly and found Draco staring at him blankly.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
Harry's grip loosened and he looked away at the question. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you doing this to me?! I can't give you anything else. I can't- I-" Draco's eyes widen as lips pressed against his. He couldn't think. He refused to. This cannot be happening again. He struggled – Merlin knows he struggled. It wasn't physically but emotionally. He hated being emotional. He hated how Harry was – goddamn it. He hated how Harry pulled away to mumble another sorry. Harry must have seen it because his eyes saddened. How can he be sad? Why was he still caring that Harry was sad? Why should he care?! Draco shook his head and bit his lip. Harry's grip didn't loosen.
"Tell me…" Draco started out. His voice was strained. He took hold of Harry's arms and dug his nails into them angrily. "Tell me why should I keep caring? Why do I care that you want to take back everything? Why should you be sad? I saw it the moment we came in here to talk that you really wanted out of this marriage. You were convinced that it was my fault. Why should I care that you are sad now? Are you even in the right to look so miserable?"
"If you say I'm sorry one more time I will castrate you." Draco said fiercely. Harry clicked his jaw shut. "The first smart thing you've done recently." Draco commented. He didn't know why he attempted to lighten the mood. It worked though. Harry gave him a small smile. Draco couldn't believe how fast his heart could beat from one, small, sad, smile. It was pathetic. He shook his head and rested his forehead on Harry's shoulder. "I can't believe this."
Harry's hold on him tightened. He could hear that heart beat. For some reason Draco remembered a – a good day in their marriage earlier this year.
I rested my head on his chest. I love it when we were like this. Although it was completely undignified. Never thought I would lay out in a meadow – nude of all things. I smiled at the raven below me. I practically purred as he played with my hair. I felt his member twitch at the sound. I couldn't help but savor the spike of thrill that shot through me. I sent him a seductive smirk. I knew he loved that smirk. It always got him going.
I love it when he did things like this. I should have realized that the excuse he gave me was idiotic. Harry's stupidity must have rubbed off on me these past two years. Finding potion ingredients my ass.
The day Harry willingly did Potions would be the day I would actually top him.
Draco hummed in response. He refused to look at Harry. Really did he have to remember something as wonderful as that now?
"I know I have no right to be downright miserable right now but- if it means anything- your six reasons…reminded me of why I was attracted to you." Harry lifted the blond's chin so that they were looking into each others eyes. Emerald into silver – Harry was still amazed that up close Draco's eyes were pure silver. "I just hope…that maybe…I can fix all this? I don't know. I am curious…that maybe if I knew just how much you gave up for me. Maybe I would have actually done something different. I don't know. Maybe if-"
Draco rolled his eyes and gently leaned in. He brushed his lips against Harry's. He searched those eyes and found something that disappeared for a long time. He pulled away just as gently. "If's aren't something to ponder on. We don't know if you would have done anything differently. 'I'm sorry' won't ever make up for this."
Harry winced but nodded in agreement. He was reluctant to let go but blinked as Draco held his hands in place. "However…" he paused and pressed a surprisingly shy kiss against the raven's lips. "…you can start making it up to me."
Harry yelped as the blond tackled him down. He didn't have any time to react properly as those lips descended upon his again and again. Draco was searching for something – maybe a response that they lost a long time ago. Harry pulled the blond closer and closed his eyes as they opened their mouths shyly. It's been so long since – since he felt like this. That sudden burst of emotion just made the kiss more passionate – more sloppy. Harry suddenly felt nervous. He pulled Draco back and looked at the blond.
"Are you sure? I can't guarantee that we won't go through another year without me being– well as you would say without me being a ridiculous Gryffindor."
Draco snorted. "Unlike you I knew exactly what I was getting into. Stupidity and idiocy are just an unfortunate bonus added to it."
Harry eyebrows furrowed. "Hey—hmmmm…" The two kneeled down onto the ground slowly and eventually Harry was lying on the ground with Draco on top of him. It was strange really. Everything was going by so fast but it also seemed like it was going by really slow. Almost as if time hadn't stopped for the world but for them they had all the time in the world. Draco struggled with Harry's clothes. Harry found it cute how the blond's face scrunched up in concentration. He vaguely remembered the first time they fucked as a married couple. Draco had been cursing all the way through – something about hating his button up shirts and how his pants just had to have one complicated zipper. Harry looked at the blond and it was close to that expression except there was no puffy red eyes back then. Harry cupped Draco's face in his hand causing the blond to stop and look at him curiously.
Draco flinched at those apologetic eyes. He sighed but blinked when Harry sat up. He felt lips press against his and moaned. He felt Harry shifting his hips underneath him but he bad no mind. It wasn't until he suddenly felt cool air hit him when he pulled away.
He glared at Harry. "Did you just vanish my clothes? You know you can never retrieve what you vanish!"
Harry rolled his eyes. "I'll buy you anything you want to make up for that too." Harry said casually and kissed the blond again. Draco melted like goo. He hated goo. It was sticky. He trembled as Harry's fingers skimmed down his spine. Draco felt their position shift and he didn't mind that Harry was now hovering on top of him. He relished the fact that every single inch of his body was being smothered with kisses. Those fingers traveled everywhere too creating intriguing patterns on his skin. He loved the feeling of Harry's warm and sweaty skin against his. He loved how wanton he was as Harry grinded their groins together. The revived feeling of being loved and filled made his toes curled.
For Harry it was the same. The feeling of completion as he slid into the blond made him stop thinking. He enjoyed his name slipping pass those kissable lips. He enjoyed how each touch and caress could send the blond reeling.
He couldn't believe he forgot what it was like making love to Draco. It was never just sex. It was every touch. Harry leaned down and pressed his lips against that slender neck. It was every kiss, every sound, every moan, and most importantly it was every look. Sparks always flew when they looked into each others eyes. He saw it now.
How did he ever think about letting this go? Two hours ago he was prepared to let this go.
Harry leaned in pressing his mouth near Draco's ear. He stopped when he heard Draco let out a breathy 'I love you' and smiled against that ear. His thrusts quickened in reaction to that. He knew they were both about to come. It had been more than ten months since they last had sex. Not only that but every emotion was piling on them at once. It seemed strange to Harry to know that he was about to let this go. He grunted and bit down on Draco's neck to keep from calling out while the blond screamed as loud as he could. Those walls clenched around him as he came.
Merlin he missed how they usually came together. That wonderful synchronized orgasm always brought him to the edge. He collapsed on top of Draco unusually comfortable with the stickiness against their stomachs. "I love you too." Harry managed to murmur before burying himself into Draco's scent. That scent after sex, it always had been intoxicating.
Draco looked at the ceiling. Once against his mouth and body seemingly spoke against his decision. Sometimes he wondered what force out there drove him too this moron. He looked down at the raven and began playing with that marvelously messy hair. He guessed some good came out of this. Maybe things would have been different if he had just told Harry some of his problems. He shook his head. Maybe's and what if's will never bring those three years back – nor will they make them seem better.
Draco rolled his eyes. He loved how coherent Harry was after sex. Barely could understand his own name. "I- even after this you know everything wont' go back to normal right."
Harry surprised him by lifting up every so slightly. "I know."
"I probably will be wary of you for a while. Sex isn't going to happen every single day because I'm insecure you might leave me. I'm doubt I'll live up to that too."
"If that was the case I'm wondering how often I should screw up."
Draco hit his arm. "Not funny."
"Sorry." Harry pressed a kiss on Draco's temple.
Draco glared. "Are you tired?"
"Maybe a little. Why?"
"You always act overly sweet when you're tired."
Draco sniffed and gave Harry a cocky look. "Well at least I know I have more stamina than you."
"No you don't."
"Yes, says the tired little boy. Shall we go to our bed and tuck you in?"
Harry dropped his head onto the blond's chest. "Draco."
"Yes baby Potter?"
"Are you going to make your original point or not? You know how distracted you can get after sex."
Harry sighed. "Do you want to go to bed?"
Harry pulled both of them up. They both were a little surprised at how they managed to stay connected. Harry grunted walked several steps closer to the couch and fell on it.
"Can't make it to the bedroom. Couch seems more comfy anyways."
"You're an old man aren't you?"
"You're a month older than me. Draco you're tired. Go to sleep."
"Rude. I thought you were going to make it up to me. Calling me old is not making it up to me."
Harry smiled softly. He kissed underneath both of Draco's eyes. "Go to bed love."
"I love it when you call me that." Draco whispered. His eyes closing ever so slightly.
The silence weighed in on Harry and he felt himself drifting off too.
"Even thought I have nothing to give you. Don't leave me okay?" Draco finished softly. Snores were following him right after. Harry lifted himself up again and looked on that lovely sleeping face. He brushed a couple strands of blond hair behind Draco's ear.
"There is just something about you…" Harry repeated softly. Harry kissed Draco's eyelids. "Something about you…that makes me want to do anything for you." He caressed that face with his thumb. "I didn't know. I'm sorry Draco. You never had to give anything to me. I just wished I realize how much you already did." Harry eyes filled with determination. "Now that I know…I can start giving back like I should have done three years ago." He nuzzled his face into Draco's neck inhaling the scent of strawberries.
There is just something about you I can't quiet explain.
It's not a happy ending or happily every after because I most certainly didn't get that.
It's not even your fame or money – I'm surprised it wasn't even the sex.
I don't think it was your beautiful eyes or your wild hair.
It wasn't even your love. Something as precious as that could have been that something but it wasn't.
I think…out of all the things that something could have been it was your ability to make me happy, angry, sad, depressed, silly, and I wouldn't trade for the world despite all the pain it's brought me.
I'm alive because of you. I'm human because of you. Love has only a small part in that. Even if I don't always like it I am grateful for everything that you have given to me. I am grateful for everything you have taken from me – as stupid as that sounds.
I guess what I'm trying to say that there is just…this…something about you that makes me feel- whole.
A/ N: Unfortunately I have to end this story with a authors note. Lolz. I thank those who have reviewed, alerted, favorited. I didn't expect any because it is late and I'm sure you all are busy. To be honest I do not like this small story except for bits and pieces of this last chapter. I think there is something in me that made me write this. Some complications that I'm going through I guess. Maybe it is the fact that I know this is not a fairy tale world and it isn't always love that brings you closer to a person. I'm not really sure. I can say it might be because of this despressing story I am writing or maybe it was because I just wanted to write on pure emotion. Anyways I hope that some enjoyed this story. I will ask for reviews but I do not think this small story deserves a lot of reviews writing wise. I'm not sure how a somewhat happy ending came out of this but it did. I'll leave you to your imaginations if Draco and Harry really did make it through their lives together or not.
I am rambling aren't I? Lol. Comes with staying up til 1 in the morning. I hope all of you have a pleasant morning/noon/or night.
A small edit - I noticed I did something to the chapters. Not sure what but the order completely messed up after I added this chapter. Not to mention one of the chapters went missing. - I have no idea what happened but its fixed right now. I hope.