Sasuke figured that Hatake Kakashi had planned to tie Uzumaki to the post in the first place. It perfectly explained why there were cherry tomatoes in the bento box that didn't have the vaguely girlish design, as the man undoubtedly had his full psychological profile, and cherry tomatoes weren't standard bento fare. While he was willing to share his lunch with the blond loudmouthed idiot so he didn't slow them down during their second chance at the test after lunch, there was no way he would let him get at the last of the tasty little tomatoes he had been chowing down on like they were going out of fashion.
Holding the box towards Uzumaki with one hand, he snagged one of the last of the tomatoes with the other. He'd just popped the tasty treat into his mouth when his new sensei appeared out of nowhere startling him, and causing him to inhale the tomato which promptly became lodged in his throat. He was so intent on trying to hock up the tomato that he barely noticed when the man informed him that the team had passed, and didn't even notice when the man had started quoting someone and talking about something because the damn tomato was still lodged in his throat.
After choking for more than a minute without being aided because his teammates had been too preoccupied with their new sensei's lecture to notice his predicament, he fell to the ground with a thump feeling dizzy due to lack of oxygen. He vaguely heard Sakura yell "Sensei, Sasuke's turning blue!" as his world went black. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a dark cave. Sitting next to him was a vaguely familiar person tied up in ninja wire and explosive tags who looked like a drowned rat, and who on closer inspection seemed to be missing both his eyes and an arm. Somewhat alarmed by this, he decided that it would be prudent to back away at that point.
"Hiya shrimp, I guess you're finally awake. I was sent to give you a message." the man who looked to be in his late teens said.
"Who are you?" he asked wondering how he'd been kidnapped by this weirdo without anyone fighting tooth and nail to get the "last Uchiha" back.
"Don't you remember your old cousin Shisui?" the man asked, looking somewhat put out, which was rather disturbing because of the missing eyes.
Shisui? But he's...Come to think of it, that guy did indeed look dead. It couldn't be Shisui however. He vaguely remembered the funeral since it was like a week before the mass funeral for his entire clan and in that recollection, Shisui had been pretty much intact.
"What happened to your eye and your arm? And, why are you covered in ninja wire and explosive tags?" he asked as one of the explosive tags went off with a bang that was deafening in the close confines of the cave and Shisui groaned in pain before he put his flaming hair out.
"The prick Danzo stole my eye before I had Itachi kill me to keep others from being tempted to take the other one considering how dangerous it was, and stole the arm off my corpse. As for the ninja wire and tags, that's sorta why I'm here. They're my punishment for not stopping everything like I should have done long before I finally worked up the nerve to try. I heard that the strand that's being prepared for you is at least twice as long, and has five times as many explosive tags. You'll also be followed by Eternally Violating Kunai. Apparently, by the time you turn eighteen you become an even bigger asshole than Madara, and that's saying something." Shisui replied sadly.
"Eternally Violating Kunai?" he asked, somewhat stupidly in his opinion, considering the purpose was in the name.
"Let's just say they go in the out hole." Shisui said. "Fortunately, you're one lucky bastard and someone decided to reorder time to give you a second chance. You're going to be visited by three spirits tonight. You'd better listen to what they tell you because if you don't, the afterlife is going to be rather painful for you."
Shisui suddenly started to fade away as he was trying to figure out what the hell kind of dream he was having because things like this didn't happen in life, and if his dead relatives would start appearing before him, it would be to berate him for not having avenged the clan yet.
"Oh, and you'd better open your eyes, your new teammates are really starting to get worried. By the way, please tell Naruto I said hi, and sorry I couldn't get him that pack of water balloons I promised him." Shisui said smiling sadly as he vanished altogether.
He blinked at this last request because it was so unusual, and when his eyes opened, he was no longer in the cave. Instead of being trapped in darkness, he was lying next to the post to which Uzumaki was tied, and his new sensei and the pink haired annoyance were standing over him.
"I just had the strangest dream." he muttered before turning to look at the class idiot since it was a damn sight less painful than being fawned over by one of the ever present pack of fangirls.
Remembering the Uzumaki's well known fear of the paranormal, he smirked.
"Shishui said hi, and that he was sorry that he couldn't get you those water balloons." he said.
The look on the idiot's face before he turned white and fainted had been absolutely priceless, making the entire incident completely worth it despite the potential humiliation.
"Well, that explains why he didn't start pranking the Military Police until after the Massacre. I'd say "Congratulations on your first near-death experience Sasuke" if the cause weren't so lame." Kakashi said as he poked Naruto with his foot. "Well, I guess that's it for the day. Meet at that red bridge over that way tomorrow at 7 am."