A/N: First off welcome to 'An Angel At My Table,' this story is a collaboration between myself (cinnamon twist 101) and my dearest friend Greenaway. This story has both Bella and Edward's points of view in every chapter. Bella's point of view is written by myself, Edward's point of view is written by Greenaway.

This story has been a mammoth effort on both Greenaway and my part, with hundreds of hours spent on Yahoo chat deciding plotlines and writing the character's conversations, so some thank you's are in order.

First and foremost to our wonderful husbands who for the most part have been extremely supportive considering we have spent the last four months pretty much ignoring them completely... And to our children, we do love you babies with all our hearts... I would like to personally thank Greenaway for unselfishly giving me her valuable time and for not hating me when I drove her to work so hard she got really sick and couldn't get out of bed for a week....And we would also like to give a special thank you to Mr Robert Pattinson our personal muse, and to Mr Brandon Flowers (of the killers, whose music saw us through some tough times.)

A special note from Greenaway: Also, a special thank you to CinnamonTwist101, because without her, there would be no Angel at My Table. It was her original concept that sparked off this mammoth quest and her patience with all my slowness (for lack of a better word) in keeping up with my half. The woman is a machine.....LOL. Thanks Cin, not only did writing with you improve my own skills, I also got a wonderful friend through this story. And Edward says sorry for all the headaches..... LOL Also, since both Cin and I are Kiwis this story is set in wonderful New Zealand.

WE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO WISH OUR READERS A HAPPY AND SAFE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!

Disclaimer: S Meyer owns Twilight, Greenaway and I own An Angel at my Table, Britney Spears owns if you seek Amy and the Violent Femmes own, Add it Up.

WARNING...This story contains ADULT CONTENT AND WE ADVISE AN R18 RATING...

So without further ado we give you chapter 1 of 'An Angel At My Table'...



CHAPTER 1: Mistake…

Bella's POV

When my eyelids finally fluttered open and I saw the time I groaned audibly and rolled out of bed, of course my alarm clock didn't go off this morning, making me late for my last day of work before we broke for the Christmas break. It shouldn't have surprised me the clock malfunctioned I'd been having the week from hell when it came to computerised gadgets.

Already this week my computer had crashed twice, causing me to lose valuable data I hadn't had the chance to back up.

I sighed heavily, muttering, "Why do I have to repel stupid fuckin technology? It's supposed to make my life easier," as I made my way to the shower. I spent only enough time to wash myself quickly before I was out again and heading to my wardrobe.

I had three deadlines to meet today, including redoing the two hundred page report I'd lost when the computer crashed. If they weren't finished by five o'clock I'd definitely be missing the office Christmas party, which normally wouldn't bother me accept for the fact that I'd had such a suck-ball week I was quite looking forward to letting loose and getting drunk.

I've been working at Cullen Industries since I left school ten years ago, I'd originally worked for Emmett Cullen until I was poached by his younger and drop dead gorgeous brother Edward, whose P.A. I'd been for going on three years. We had a cordial but strictly professional relationship, though I did find myself on occasions wondering what sort of fuck he'd be, by his prowess I'd guess a pretty good one.

While the other P.A.s and I'd imagine most of the other female staff, continuously talked about how they'd love to take a ride on 'Edward, aka, Sex on Legs,' I never joined in their conversations, for one he was my boss and secondly I didn't trust any of them to keep it a secret. No I just admired Edward from afar.

I grabbed my keys and rushed from my apartment, hoping that if I was lucky enough I'd be able to get the next train into the city. I just managed to squeeze into the packed train as the doors were sliding closed; I took a minute to catch my breath and rub my stomach, trying to ease the stitch in my side.

When I finally made it into my office I was forty five minutes late, I knew I'd have to forgo my lunch hour to make up the time and I inwardly cursed my seemingly hideous back luck with all things computerised. I reluctantly by passed my morning caffeine fix and went straight to work on my report; I worked through my lunch hour and finally managed to get it done by four.

I looked up expectantly when I heard Edward's office door open, I couldn't help but sigh quietly when he appeared in the doorway, dressed in charcoal coloured dress pants and a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up the forearms, a midnight blue tie knotted at his throat.

"Oh Isabella you're still here? I thought you'd have joined the others at the party by now." His voice was smooth and velvety, it sounded sexy even though his tone was professional.

"Yes, unfortunately Mr Cullen my computer crashed during the week, so I'm a little behind on my work.

"Oh, well be sure to finish it and leave it on my desk before you join the rest of the staff."

"Of course... Mr Cullen," I tried not to spit his name between my teeth as I clenched my jaw shut. It wasn't my fault the company's crappy computers failed.

I tried to concentrate on my work rather than the raucous noise of my colleagues who were already fully enjoying themselves. I was grateful for the small respite from my technological nightmare, which came in the form of my two sisters, Rosalie and Alice who worked for an associate company of Cullen Industries, who turned up with a dozen tequila shots and half a dozen glasses of champagne on a silver tray.

"Hey Bells, we came to save you from your slave driver Boss." Rose chortled. Alice just giggled while nodding her head in agreement

I rolled my eyes at the pair of them but laughed. "You know I can't drink those yet? I've still got to print and bind this stupid report and two others before I can even contemplate getting intoxicated."

"Oh come on Bells, you might as well catch up to us while your report prints, you've done all the hard work." Alice waved a shot of tequila under my nose, her lips jutted out into a sulking pout and she stared at me mischievously with her dark obsidian eyes.

"Fine, give it to me." I took the shot from her hand, gave Edward's closed door a guilty look, and downed it quickly, relishing the burn of the alcohol as it slid down my throat. I reached for another two and gulped those back as well.

I was feeling pretty good after I had downed all the shots and two glasses of crystal champagne, but the feeling was short lived, I swore loudly, though I wasn't entirely surprised, when the printer malfunctioned and jammed, after printing only twenty pages of the report. Alice and Rose giggled in a sympathetic way; I scowled menacingly as I made my way to the offending machine.

I bashed my fists down on the top of the printer, "Stupid fucking fucktard printer," I shouted…" Rage was bubbling in me and I continued muttering insults and manhandling the printer. The abrupt silence made me stop mid rant; I turned towards Edward's door instinctively and saw him standing there staring at me with arched brows and an extremely annoyed look on his face.

"Excuse me Ms Swan but would you like to tell me why you're destroying Company property?" I scowled to myself but resisted the urge to tell him his tight arse company should supply some decent office equipment but his eyes were narrowing and his frown became deeper as he waited for me to answer him.

"Oh…um…Sorry Mr Cullen but the copier malfunctioned and I was just trying to coax it into working for me." I tried to look innocent, but I think I came across as slightly drunk or insane because Edward was not impressed; his voice cracked whip as it reverberated around the office.

"We have a maintenance team to deal with break downs Ms Swan. I would appreciate if in future you would call them instead of abusing the equipment." I stole a look at Rose and Alice who were trying not to laugh at me as they made a quick getaway.

"Of course Mr Cullen I'll phone them immediately." I picked up the phone but instead of dialling, I watched Edward storm into his office and slam the door. I gave the door the one finger salute before dialling the number for maintenance.

I was just trying to pull the offending paper from the machine when I was grabbed from behind by a massive pair of hands, "Bells, why are you still working? You know you should tell that stuck up prick in there to fuck off and come back and work for me. I miss you; remember how much fun we used to have?" Emmett's booming voice echoed around the small office and nearly deafened me.

"Ssh, he'll hear you. He's already given me a telling off for manhandling office equipment, I don't want to infuriate him any more than I already have. I've only got this report and two others to print and I'll finally be finished, that's if stupid maintenance hurries up and gets here. And of course I remember how much fun work was when you were my boss, but coming back to work for you isn't a possibility, Fucktard wouldn't cope without me, even though he'd never admit it."

Emmett snorted and nodded in agreement, "True he would be lost without you and you're right he'd never admit it, he is a total fucktard." We laughed at Edward's expense and I felt my bad mood lifting. I missed working with Emmett, he was like the big brother I never had but always wanted.

I turned in his embrace and couldn't help but laugh when I saw him clad in a pair of novelty reindeer antlers and glowing red Rudolph nose, "Emmett you look ridiculous."

"I know, the fucktard has already told me half a dozen times." I laughed when Emmett scowled and gave Edward's door a one finger salute.

"Bells if you're waiting on maintenance you've got time to come and indulge in some Christmas cheer with me, god knows you deserve it after surviving another year working for 'Mr up his arse' in there." Emmett wagged his brows at me and I knew straight away what he was getting at.

For the last seven or eight years Emmett and I had been sneaking off during the office Christmas party to do a couple of rails of cocaine each to help us survive the usually tedious event.

I let out an audible half exasperated sigh, "Are you fucking mad? If Edward caught me he'd fire me on the spot."

Emmett chortled, "Relax Bells, there's no way Edward would fire you, no one else would last working for the dick." My retort was lost when Emmett and Edward's brother Jasper walked through the door, wearing a Santa hat and beard; he was carrying a tray of shooters.

"Hi ya Bella, Alice told me Scrooge Mc Duck still had you tied to your desk. Honestly girl you need to tell Edward to pull the carrot out of his arse and lighten up, its Christmas after all... Any way I brought you another round of sanity or insanity, depending on how you look at it." He gave me a warm smile through his beard that lit up his eyes.

"Jesus…are you two conspiring to trying to get me fired? The Grinch is in a bad enough mood already, I don't want to antagonise him any further."

"Yes you do Bella! that's exactly what you should do, antagonising Edward is mine and Emmett's favourite game, has been since we were kids, we're always looking for new recruits to join us."

I laughed loudly at the mental picture of Edward as a child throwing a hissy fit to his mummy cause his big brothers were being mean to him. "Jasper; stop encouraging me," I took a shooter from him; and looked at Edward's closed door with a scowl.

I brought the glass to my lips and tipped the contents into my mouth letting it glide down my throat with a satisfied sigh. The shooters were delicious and I grabbed another one, "salute," I licked the last of the creamy alcohol from my lips and reached for another.

"That a girl Bells; now that Jasper's here he can distract Edward while you and I have a rest room break," I glared at Emmett and he smirked at me.

Jasper let out a low husky laugh, "it's all good Bella, its Christmas after all and I wouldn't want you to miss out on our fun." I knew what he meant at once and I relaxed, obviously Jasper was on the same page as Emmett and I when it came to surviving the office Christmas party.

Before I could even begin to protest Emmett hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me to my private restroom. I was anxious as I locked the door, Emmett prepared our rails and I took the hundred dollar bill off him with shake of my head and bent over the small mirror he had set up on the cistern.

I closed my eyes with a grateful moan as the cocaine travelled through my nasal passages and into the back of my throat.

Emmett checked the coast was clear before we slipped from the bathroom, he kissed my lips softly and gave me a goofy smile, "I'll see you later on Bells."

"Thanks Emm I really appreciate it." I snuck back to my office and cursed inwardly when I saw that maintenance still hadn't showed up, at this rate I'll be lucky to be out of here by the morning.

I gulped down the rest of the tray of shooters that Jazz had left on my desk and moved over to Edward's office door, pressing my ear against the wood hoping to find out if he and Jazz were still in the office.

It was silent and I guessed they'd joined the staff back at the party.

I turned my eyes on my most hated piece office equipment and scowled menacingly at it as I tried to pull the jammed papers from its death grip, but I only succeeded in ripping them in half.

I resisted the urge to absolutely bash the shit out of the stupid thing; I couldn't allow myself to get caught twice in one night. I mumbled a string of obscenities under my breath and grabbed my IPod from my desk draw. I flipped it to a song guaranteed to put a smile on my face.

I turned the volume up and let the shiver of pleasure, courtesy of the alcohol and cocaine, wash over me, I could feel the stress of the week leaving me slowly but surely and I silently thanked Emmett for coming to my rescue.

I began to dance around the office as I sung random lyrics from the song.

La, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la

I stopped suddenly and l looked behind me, I had the strangest feeling I was being watched. I couldn't see anyone and shook my head at myself and after a minute went back to dancing, thanks to the cocaine I couldn't stay still and I thought I might as well have some fun on my own while I waited for dumb ass people from maintenance to show up.

"Oh baby have you seen Amy tonight

Is she in the bathroom is she smoking up outside. Oh

Oh baby, baby does she take a piece of lime

For the drink that I'm ma gonna buy her do you know what she likes. Oh

Oh, oh, tell me have you seen her? Because I'm so oh

I can't get her off my brain

I just want to go to the party she gonna go

Can somebody take me home?

I stopped mid dance, I just couldn't shake that eerie feeling I was being watched. I checked behind me again and still couldn't see anybody. I laughed at myself; maybe the coke was making me paranoid.

Love me hate me, say what you want about me

But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

Love me hate me, but can't you see what I see

All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if U seek Amy

I ran my hands down my body and shivered involuntarily, as I danced around the room I still felt like I was being spied on. I took a second to check outside my office door, there was no one lurking in the hallway and I convinced myself I was really just being paranoid, I shut the door behind me.

I danced back toward my desk, keeping in time to the bubblegum pop princess' lyrics, that sounded in my ears.

So tell me if you see her

Cause I've been waiting here forever

Oh baby if you seek Amy tonight

Oh baby we'll do whatever you like

Oh baby, baby, baby

Oh baby, baby, baby

Love me hate me, say what you want about me

But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy"

I had just adjusted my skirt which had ridden up my thigh when a pair of strong toned arms encircled me from behind, one arm moved to yank the earphone from my ear, I stifled my scream when I recognised the smooth velvety voice that whispered in my ear, though I'd never heard it with that husky tone that sounded like pure sex.

"Isabella, my office... Now," my breath hitched in my throat and my heart began to race even faster; the bizarre tingle in my skin from his touch was beginning to increase in voltage and course through my body.

Every single cell inside me was thrumming with electricity reacting to his presence, I was confused at my bodies reaction to him, the way it seemed to be singing for him all of sudden.

It made no sense, we'd worked together for all these years and nothing even remotely like this had happened in the past, he'd never shown me more than professional courtesy, god he'd never even once asked me if I had a nice weekend. He'd certainly never spoken to me or touched me like this before.

Though I'd been with a few men in my life I could honestly say I'd never reacted like this to any ones touch, it was incredible. I could only describe the intensity of it as like grabbing the end of exposed live wires and getting electrocuted, but without the pain.

I stood frozen to the spot, and although my body was on high alert my brain felt hazy and slack in its confusion.

His hands slid to cup my breasts as he stepped closer into me; I could feel his erection pressing into my back as he urged us forward toward his office. His lips nuzzled at the delicate skin of my neck, causing a soft moan to slip from between my lips.

I opened the office door, not wanting him to take his hands off me, my mouth watered when I inhaled the yummy musky sweet fragrance of his skin. The alcohol on his breath was strong and wondered briefly how much he'd had to drink.

He walked us through the door and kicked it shut with his foot, "God I love the way you smell, so exotic, spicy like cinnamon."

I twisted in his embrace, my eyes immediately searching his, he was looking at me with nothing but undisguised lust and longing.

I was assaulted by another surge of want, it rushed through me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, I could feel the moisture pooling in my panties and it spurred me on.

I brought my mouth to his and when his lips touched mine, my blood boiled in my veins, the moisture leaking from me soaked into my panties and I moaned into his mouth.

His hands slid down my sides pausing at the hem of my skirt, his mouth was demanding against mine and he pulled me deeper into the kiss, another low moan escaped my throat as his hands disappeared beneath my skirt and slid up my thighs. His fingers toyed with the lacy edging of my soaked panties.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a small voice was screaming that I should stop this right now, not only was highly inappropriate, if we got caught I would surely get fired, this type of thing was strictly forbidden between employees, especially a P.A. and her boss, but I couldn't seem to find the resolve or strength to pull myself from his embrace.

His mouth slid up my neck and He sighed against my ear as his fingers slipped under the silky fabric and slid along my wet folds, "God Isabella; you feel like heaven, so soft so warm," His sigh turned into a deep husky growl that had my knees trembling when his fingers disappeared into my core, "fuck… so wet…I wanna fuck you Bella, need to feel myself inside you."

I was surprised to hear him call me Bella; he of all the Cullen's was the only one whoever usually called me by Isabella.

He pulled his lips from my ear as his fingers slid from my core. Hooking his fingers around the delicate tulle fabric, he slid them from my body, my skirt swiftly followed. My hands shook as they undid the last three buttons of his shirt and my breathing hitched when my hands came in contact with the smooth hard plains of his stomach.

Edward's fingers were much surer as they made easy work of my shirt, his eyes roamed over my body as he slid the fabric from my shoulders. His eyes darkened perceptibly when my breasts came free of my bra and his hand instinctively reached out to massage them roughly.

I tugged impatiently at his pants undoing his fly roughly in my haste to feel him naked in my hand, I slid his pants and boxers over his hips and down his thighs, my moan was almost a growl as my fingers closed around his hard cock.

I relished the feeling of it sliding along my cupped palm, my thumb slid over the tip smearing the precum gathered there. I let him slide out of my hand and brought my moist thumb to my mouth, sucking the salty taste that was pure Edward from the pad.

"Fuck Bella; can't wait any longer." He lifted me into his embrace holding our naked bodies firmly against each other as he walked us to his desk; he sat me on the edge and brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss that left me breathless.

I couldn't wait any longer either, to feel him inside me; my dripping core was aching with its need to have him buried deep within my warmth. I reluctantly broke the kiss and lay back across his desk, looking deep into his beautiful green eyes.

"So beautiful Bella; spread out like a feast before me." I was so caught up in his words and by the way he was looking at me that I gasped in surprise when he gripped my ankles and spread my legs.

Our groans resonated around the room as he plunged himself into me in one fluid motion, I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. I'd never really appreciated how much of a perfect specimen of a man he was. His body was toned and well defined, his chest smooth and broad, his stomach hard and perfect. I let my eyes wander in from the V that started below his hip bones, to the line of silky black hair that trailed down from his belly button .

I lifted my gaze back to his, his eyes were deep, dark and lust filled, my hands ghosted over my breasts, I palmed them softly before rolling my nipples between my fingers.

Edward growled and thrust harder burying himself deep within me. His pace was rapidly becoming frenetic as was the voltage of electricity racing through me, I could feel intense pleasure building within me, the electricity was beginning to concentrate in my core and my senses were on pleasure overload.

His name repeatedly fell from my lips in a trembling quiver as my muscles clamped around his cock. I let the force of my orgasm carry me away into the sweetest delirium I had ever experienced.

The first thing I became consciously aware of was the reckless abandon Edward was fucking me with, his fingers were gripped so tightly around my ankles it was almost painful, even though his pace was frenzied his eyes never left mine.

I could feel another orgasm approaching, I grabbed the edges of the desk as my back arched off the table and the violent tremors rocked over me again.

"Bella, so beautiful when you come for me, calling my name, it sounds like heaven, I'm gonna cum for you Bella…in your beautiful tight pussy."

I watched Edward in fascination, I was desperate to see how beautiful he looked when he was caught up in his release, his eyes rolled back in his head and his lids fluttered closed, a low guttural growl hissed through his clenched teeth as his body shuddered with the force of his climax.

I smiled at the magnificent sight of the look of pure ecstasy on his face as all his walls, came tumbling down.

His eyes opened as his shudders subsided; he gave me a dazzling smile one I had never seen him wear before, my breath caught in my throat at the sheer beauty of it. He leaned forward pressing his body against mine with a groan; he brought his lips to mine kissing me sweetly before moving them to my neck.

We were both so caught up in the moment neither of us registered the noise outside the door, but our eyes met in panic when we heard the knock echo around the room. Before either of us had time to move the door flew open.

We both looked around I could feel Edward's heart pounding against my chest and I was sure he could feel mine doing the same against his. My heart sank and a small sob passed my lips as I took in Carlisle furious face, Emmett and Jasper stood either side of him both wearing equally dumbfounded looks.

"Edward, Isabella what is the meaning of this? I want you to both get dressed this instant. Carlisle slammed the door shut and another sob escaped me.

Edward's face had drained of colour, his skin was almost translucent. He withdrew from me without meeting my gaze or saying anything and hurriedly put on his clothes; he left the office without so much as a backward glance.

I got up off the desk and retrieved my clothes from the floor; I didn't bother to wipe away the relentless tears spilling down my cheeks. I stumbled to Edward's bathroom and locked the door behind me; I leaned against the door for a few minutes trying to regain my composure before heading for the ivory coloured marble sink.

I looked in the mirror with a groan, my hair was a complete mess and my mascara had run down my face with my tears. I turned on Edwards shower and climbed under the steaming water, I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to control the fear that shook my body.

I didn't want to ever leave this room and face Carlisle or Edward. As shell shocked as I was at being caught, I could feel the hurt at Edward's treatment of me beginning to gnaw at my insides. I wondered why he had walked out without saying anything and if he realised how degraded by that I felt.

I washed myself with a generous amount of his body wash before stepping from the shower and reaching for one of his huge fluffy towels. I dressed quickly, tying my hair back in a lose knot at the base of my neck, and wiping the remaining make up from my face. My body shook uncontrollably as I stepped out of the bathroom.

I gasped silently when I looked up and was confronted by Carlisle sitting in Edward's chair, Edward stood with his back to me staring out his office window. I dropped my gaze from Carlisle and looked at my feet as I approached the desk. Nobody spoke and the uncomfortable silence spiralled horribly.

Finally Carlisle spoke and I looked up into his stern face, "Edward what do you have to say for yourself?"

Edward kept his back to me and he continued to stare out the window, "I'm really sorry Dad it was just a stupid mistake," I gasped silently, I felt like I'd just been sucker punched, I dropped my gaze back to my feet as heat flooded my face.

I kept my eyes on the floor; I was fighting back my shame and tears at the same time as I tried to get air into my flattened lungs.

When Carlisle spoke again his voice was tinged with anger, "Isabella; as you know Cullen Industries most cardinal rule for employees is not to have office relationships. Especially relationships between an employee and their boss, I therefore have no alternative than to terminate your employment here, effective immediately."

I looked at the ground, "of course Mr Cullen, I'll pack my stuff immediately and leave all my security passes on my desk."

"Thank you Isabella," Carlisle stood up and made his way to the door, "come Edward." Edward turned from the window, his eyes briefly met mine and he gave me an almost pleading look as he followed his father from the room.

I waited until I saw them enter the lift before I made my way out of Edward's office and into my own. I grabbed a box and loaded up all my personal possessions, I took my security clearances from desk draw and took them into Edward's office. I dropped them on the desk and was about to leave when I turned back and took a sheet of Edwards monogrammed stationary from the draw.

I stood with pen poised on paper and took a deep breath.

Thanks for the support Fucktard, never took you for a coward.

I grabbed my box of belongings and headed for the stairwell, I knew I would have to be even more unlucky than I'd been today to actually meet anybody on the stairs, since no one ever used them unless there was a fire drill.

I walked out onto Lampton Key and headed for the train station. All I wanted to do was get home to my apartment and drown my sorrows with a couple of bottles of Hawkes Bay Merlot.


Chapter 1: Mistake...

EDWARDS POV...

I woke at five thirty like I did every day and pulled on some sweatpants and a hoodie. I threw my Nikes on, on the way out the door and began my morning jog. The air wasn't cold but it was brisk and it chilled my skin. I could see my breath puff out in front of my face as I ran, changing from smoky white to an iridescent gold as I passed under the street lamps.

I had been running every morning for a while now to release the pent up frustration I felt, and so far, it had proved to be an effective outlet.

I was unhappy with my life. Well, that was an unfair description, but was true nonetheless. I had a great job, a loving family, I was wealthy in my own right, I was doing well by anyone's standards. But something was missing, there was a gaping hole inside me that my success couldn't fill and it ate away at me, a little more every day. I wanted a family, one to call my very own. I wanted a wife and children and the picket fence and everything that went along with it. Hell, I'd even get a dog if I had to.

It had been my desire as I long as I could remember and all achievements in my life had been in preparation for this dream. I had the big house in Thorndon, much too big for a bachelor but not for the family I intended to fill it. I had an apartment in Queenstown, a townhouse in Auckland and my crowning jewel in my real estate portfolio, my house on Waiheke Island.

No one knew I had purchased it; in fact, it was the first property I purchased. I was in Auckland on business and spoke at a seminar held on Waiheke. I passed the property on the way there, and noticed the for sale sign. I called the realtor immediately and offered an extra twenty thousand for a quick settlement, she agreed and the rest as they say is history. I take nobody there when I go; it's like my own place away from the world. It's where I plan to spend my honeymoon and it will be a wedding gift to my wife.

I was nearing home; I had been running for forty-five minutes. I pushed harder, feeling the muscles in my legs go taut as I sped up. I reached my front door, hot and sweaty from pushing myself so hard. It was better than the alternative though, sitting around over thinking everything and eventually turning to my old friend Jack Daniels to help dull the feelings gnawing at me.

I showered and dressed and was out the door with my keys in my hand. I arrived at work at seven-thirty and was not surprised to see Isabella's desk unoccupied, she was efficient and met my standards of a good P.A., but she still wasn't exactly the corporate type. She would never be early, she had a carefree air of freedom about her, and I envied her for it, it was a freedom I wanted so badly for myself.

I went into my office and locked the door behind me, moving to my desk and sinking into the chair. I opened the cabinet behind me and pulled out my Jack Daniels and a glass, pouring a healthy dose and throwing it back quickly. I grimaced as the alcohol burned its way down the back of my throat before settling in my stomach and filling me with pleasant warmth.

I looked down at my desk hoping to see the reports that Isabella had been working on, neatly bound and collated on my desk.

No. No reports. I was unsurprised.

Today was going to be a long day. She seemed to be having a bad week especially with the office network. I had watched her make the most basics of mistakes, ones she would not normally make, and I had desperately wanted to help her, but I didn't. I couldn't, I was her boss and she was my employee. Ergo: no touchy-feely and if I allowed myself to get close to her that's exactly where things would go.

I poured myself another drink, thoughts like that weren't going to help my day get any better.

Isabella arrived late and it irritated me to no end. It was ridiculous, but I knew everyone was going to break for vacation shortly and I wouldn't see her for at least a few weeks and that annoyed me. What would she do, who would she see? Did she have a boyfriend somewhere? I had never heard her mention one and Emmett never said anything so I didn't think so, but still, I didn't know for sure. I groaned and slammed my head down onto my desk. I knew I needed to get my shit together and fast; people would start to notice soon.

I pretty much hid in my office all day, drowning my sorrows. It was lucky for me that I could handle my liquor extremely well, and that eclipse mints are like little, minty-fresh A-bombs for your breath. By four the office was full of cheers and loud voices. Everybody had gone into Christmas party mode, I supposed.

I opened my office door and was surprised to see Isabella still sitting at her desk, looking at me with a strange expression on her face. She sighed and it was just so fucking sexy, I had to hold myself back. The alcohol was fucking with my brain. I had to keep this professional for both of our sakes.

"Oh Isabella you're still here? I thought you'd have joined the others at the party by now." There, I sounded neither horny nor drunk. Perfect.

"Yes, unfortunately Mr Cullen my computer crashed during the week, so I'm a little behind on my work." she answered sending the computer a death glare. I was surprised she wasn't finished yet and I was a bit annoyed, she was normally better than this.

"Oh, well be sure to finish it and leave it on my desk before join the rest of the staff." I said, basically instructing her to keep her ass in that chair until they were finished. Jesus, she had had all fucking week.

"Of course Mr Cullen," She practically hissed at me. I flinched internally at the venom in her voice, but my pants grew a little snug at the sight. She was so fucking hot even when she was angry.

I retreated to my office with my dirty thoughts, and continued to drown my sorrows until I was interrupted by the sound of Bella attacking the office equipment. I was surprised it had taken her this long to break; she had been at war with the computer system all week.

I wiped the smile off my face and arranged my features into what I hoped was 'professional and business like' and not 'Pissed out of His Tree and Pervy', before I opened the door. I saw Bella's Sisters Rose and Alice giggling at Bella, both clearly as drunk as I felt, but they stopped their laughter once they spotted me.

"Stupid fucking fucktard printer" She yelled while she hit at the printer. Jesus, why didn't she just call fucking IT maintenance?

"Excuse me Ms Swan; but would you like to tell me why you're destroying company property?" I asked, annoyed that she was constantly interrupting me, taunting me with her fucking presence.

She gave me some excuse that I only half listened to, before I told her to call the IT people. I went back into my office, angry at myself, angry at Bella, my father, the world, god I was even fucking angry it was Christmas that's how much of a miserable prick I was. I looked at my now empty bottle of Jack and tossed it in the rubbish can. I searched around in my cabinet until I found the other bottle hidden in the back.

I opened it and poured myself a glass, Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

Jasper walked into my office without knocking and I looked up in annoyance. Today had been nothing but a series of annoyances and I was ready to cut loose and get really fucked up.

"Merry Christmas Edward, have you been a good boy this year?" he asked in a sing-song voice.

"I'm not in the fucking mood Jasper, what do you want?" I growled

"I was just coming to spread some Christmas cheer, brother dear! Hey, that rhymes!"

I narrowed my eyes at him dangerously; I was in no mood for his drunken shit. He must have noticed the look on my face, because he quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a little bag with white powder in it.

"Feel like having a white Christmas Down Under?" He asked with a grin

"Down Under is Australia fuckwit, and that sounds fucking freaky and gay, you sicko." I said as I reached into my drawer and pulled out a little wooden box, intricately carved with gold plating. I motioned for Jasper to sit and opened the box, pulling out a mirror, razor blade and a rolled hundred dollar bill.

Jasper tossed me the bag and I tapped some onto the mirror cutting two lines each. Jasper held out his hand for the bill, but I took it and inhaled a line first.

"You fucking greedy bastard! I know who'll be getting a lump of coal in his stocking this year." he grumbled. I rolled my eyes, and tossed him the money. He took his hit, blinking rapidly as he sat back up.

I turned around and grabbed a glass off the shelf and poured him a Jack. He took it gratefully and looked at me in contemplation. Oh no, this was about to be one of his heart to heart, soul to soul trips he got on while high.

"You need to ease up on Bella, you don't treat her fairly."

Bella, that was unexpected. Well, he was obviously high it shouldn't be too hard to distract him.

"Have you seen the stupid shit Emmett's got on his head? I swear he was deprived oxygen as a baby." I tried. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with him about Bella.

"Ok, bro. I get it, you aren't ready to talk about it yet, and that's cool. Just remember that I'm here when you are." He stood up and downed the rest of his drink, putting the glass back on my desk.

"Go to the party Edward. Let Bella go to the party, hell go to the party together." he looked at my slyly. "I know you want to."

"Fuck off Jasper, Bella can leave when she finishes those reports and I can't leave until she does, so if you want to help, go tell Emmett to stop distracting my P.A. and piss off!"

"You know that Killer's song 'Don't Shoot Me Santa'? That's going to be you this year, you miserable shit."

I picked up a stapler and made to throw it at him and he ducked out the door.

I wasn't trying to purposely ruin Bella's Christmas, but this melancholy in me was too great to be contained and it spilled out tainting those around me. If I was a better man, I'd be able to suck this up and deal with it, but instead I acted like a sulky child. I needed to clear my head, and music always seemed to have the power to calm me, so I pulled my IPod out of my desk and put the ear buds in.

The coke was creating a buzz in my head and I felt a tremor race through my body. I smiled and closed my eyes, just enjoying the sensations, the energy building in my stomach and exploding outward. I could feel my fingertips like they were exposed live wires. I opened my eyes and took a drink while scrolling through my play lists till I found my Violent Femmes selection. I pressed play and let the music filter through me.

Day after day, I will walk and I will play

But the day after today, I will stop and I will start.

That's exactly how I felt, like I was just a damn puppet in someone else's world, not free to make my own choices, Carlisle had already made all those for me. When was I going to get to 'play'? Rules, Carlisle's rules, all I seemed to fucking do was follow the rules.

Well, I wanted to break some rules.

The coke was clashing against my better judgement, my head swimming with thoughts of the one thing I wanted, but could never have.

Bella! Watching from afar, staying professional, never giving in to the desires threatening to rip me apart, keeping to the rules.

Why can't I get just one kiss?

Why can't I get just one kiss?

Believe me there'd be something's that I wouldn't miss,

But I look at your pants and I need, I need a kiss

God, Gordon, I feel you man. I thought sadly. Watching Bella, day after painfully erect day, had been an addictive kind of torture. How many times had I imagined pulling her into my arms, tilting her head back, exposing her silky soft throat and caressing the skin with my tongue? Tasting her and that sweet intoxicating cinnamon scent that seemed to follow her everywhere, sometimes it felt like I couldn't breathe properly until I inhaled that fragrance.

Her lips, oh sweet Mary mother and Joseph, those soft pink pillows, just begging me, taunting me every day to take them, taste them, bite them. My cock was stirring, it's interest piqued at anything relating to Bella and her fuck-me-till-I-can't-walk anymore-Edward body.

Why can't I get just one screw

Why can't I get just one screw

Believe me I know what to do

But something won't let me make love to you

Oh, I knew exactly why I couldn't get just one screw. The cock-blocker extraordinaire went by the name of Carlisle Cullen, my father. Intra-office affairs were a strict no, no, and regardless Edward Cullen, Carlisle's protégé couldn't be seen with a mere P.A.

No, as much as I wanted Bella (and the near constant erection I had been sporting since her transfer as my P.A. was a testament to how much I wanted her), I couldn't have her. I would continue on as always, keeping her at arm's length and being nothing but professional towards her.

Why can't I get just one fuck?

Why can't I get just one fuck?

I guess it's got something to do with luck

But I waited my whole life for just one

Just one, just one fuck with Bella, yeah, I could die a happy man then. I've watched the way she moves (when she's not falling flat on her ass, that is, and she falls a lot) and she exudes sensuality, captivating me with the simplest brush of her hair.

I allowed myself to fantasize about telling Carlisle to fuck off, striding from his office and grabbing Bella, throwing her on her desk. I would rip her shirt open, exposing those firm supple breasts that had tempted me since I first beheld her. I would tear her skirt from her body and shred her panties, exposing her beautiful, shining sex. I wouldn't care who was there, or if anyone caught us, I would simply have to taste her.

I would run my tongue up her glimmering slit and lap up all that was Bella, not missing a single drop. She'd moan my name, and that would be it. I would release my throbbing cock from my pants and thrust into her savagely. There would be no tenderness, there couldn't be, I'd wanted Bella far too long and my need was absolute.

She would be mine in the most primal way, I would pound into her mercilessly and she would beg for more. I would feel her tight walls begin to tremble and clench around me, and I would drive into her harder and faster, relentlessly pushing her over the edge, my name would spill from her lips like a prayer and I would follow her into oblivion my animalistic growls claiming her, marking her as mine……

La, la, la, la la, la

La, la, la, la la, la

I pulled the ear buds out. What the hell, was that Britney Spears? Wait, a more pressing question why do I know that?

I made my way to the window of my office. Three quarters of it was covered with that frosted shit, but I was tall enough to see over the top and remain hidden if anyone should look this way, standing behind the ficus so there would be no shadow.

What I saw made me stop dead in my tracks.

Bella was dancing around the office and singing along to the intolerable Princess of Pop's latest contribution to the music industry If U Seek Amy.

I really shouldn't have know that.

The sight was fucking erotic; it was like my own personal strip show. You know, the ones where the strippers are behind the glass in those little red stain lined rooms? Yeah, just like fucking that.

She shivered as she moved to the music, and fuck me if it didn't look exactly like I imagined she would when she came with my cock buried deep inside her. Speaking of my cock, it was now so painfully hard, I think I could use the thing to cut fucking diamonds with.

Britney just went up on my musical appreciation list. Anything that inspired the X-rated peepshow before me was truly musical fucking genius. God bless you Britney Spears.

Suddenly Bella stopped and looked towards the window and I shrank back further into the shadows. She couldn't see me anyway, but I wasn't prepared to take the chance. She looked around almost as she could feel my eyes upon her, and I worried that she would stop.

Carry on Bella, a pay rise, a car, a holiday to Rarotonga, fuck, a jet! It's all yours if you will just fucking keep going!

I now believe in Christmas miracles.

She shook her head and carried on dancing, her hips swaying seductively to the music. Her hands ran up the sides of her body and ghosted around the curves of her luscious breasts. I would have literally killed to be her hands at that moment.

My hand, meanwhile, had mysteriously found its way down the front of my pants, and I was stroking myself as I watched Bella shake and sway. She was just so fucking sexy.

I felt a little sickened with myself, standing in the shadows jacking off while I watched her. This was the kind of shit pervs did wasn't it?

Fuck it. I'm a perv then. I thought wryly.

She stopped again and looked around. FUCK! My hand froze on my throbbing cock, and I imagined the humiliation at being caught like this. I must have been a good boy this year though because Santa was coming early.

Two miracles in one night, I was on a roll.

She laughed; a beautiful yet sultry sound and continued on dancing much to my immense relief. Her hands ran up her legs and caught on her skirt, hitching it to around her waist. I could see her stockings and up further, oh fuck me; she was wearing a garter belt. I forced my eyes to move further up and caught sight of her sexy pink and black panties. The whole sight, stockings garters and panties caused my mind to implode.

I was lost.

I didn't care what Carlisle would think, I didn't care that it was against some stupid fucking company policy or that I was Edward Cullen, I wanted Bella, and I was going to have her. The alcohol and coke cocktail in my system was all the courage I needed to break free. Make my own fucking rules for a change.

I strode from my office and came up behind her, wrapping my arm around her waist. With my free hand I pulled the earpiece from her deliciously edible lobe. I felt her stiffen in surprise and I leaned down to whisper in her ear

"Isabella, my office... Now," I commanded her.

My body felt like it was charged with static electricity and every point where our naked skin met tingled uncontrollably.

I could see her breasts heaving and I almost moaned from the pure joy of the moment. How many times had I fantasized about her breasts? Now here was the chance for every one of them to become a reality.

I slid my hands reverently over her sensuous curves, my hands almost trembling. I pulled her in closer to me, pushing my hips forward just a bit so she could feel how hard for her I was. I wanted her to know what she did to me, what she had done to me from the first moment I saw her, punish her for making me want her so bad. Every lurid thought I ever had of Bella was rushing to the surface and I was nearly mad with desire. No, I could not, would not, be gentle, she would feel every ounce of my repressed desire and she would beg me for more.

I walked us towards my office and began nibbling at the tender skin between her throat and earlobe. I was engulfed by that cinnamon smell that enticed me endlessly and I couldn't help the groan that erupted from my chest. I was no longer a man, simply a throbbing mass of heat and want.

Bella opened the office door and I pushed us through, kicking it shut behind me, not wanting to lose contact with this incredible woman.

"God I love the way you smell, so exotic, spicy like cinnamon." I mumbled into her neck. She turned in my arms and the look in her deep brown eyes made me even harder. I hadn't thought it possible, I would literally explode soon.

She crashed her lips against mine, her mouth devouring me and claiming me, and I definitely liked the idea of her being so possessive towards me.

I slid my hands under her skirt and up her thighs and she moaned into my mouth. She wanted this just as much as I did and that only spurred me on more. I moved my hands up further and began playing with the edge of her frilly panties, teasing her. A small price for all the times she's teased me, I reasoned. I moved my mouth to her ear simultaneously as I slipped a finger into her wet, warm pussy. No fantasy could compare to the pure ecstasy that was Bella.

"God Isabella; you feel like heaven, so soft so warm," I sighed, growling the last bit at her. I plunged my fingers into her tight, wet core. I was sure I was going to cum on the spot like some thirteen year old kid. I gritted my teeth

"Fuck… so wet…I wanna fuck you Bella, need to feel myself inside you."

And I did. With every fibre of my being, I needed to be inside this fucking woman. I pulled her panties and skirt off throwing them carelessly to the floor behind me. She undid my shirt and ran her trembling hands along my stomach, it felt glorious, but she was still wearing too many clothes and that was practically a crime.

I swiftly undid her shirt and pushed it down her shoulders. I unclasped her bra and watched it fall from her body, before staring at the Promised Land that were those magnificent breasts. My hands moved of their own accord and I began to palm them single mindedly.

Apparently a horny Bella was a coordinated Bella, because she had my pants undone and my cock in her hand faster than I'd ever seen her move before. She slid her tiny hands along my length and I had to hold off another impending orgasm. It was nearly all in vain though, when Bella wiped my pre-cum with her thumb, raising it to her mouth and sucking it off.

I couldn't wait, I had to have her, I had to claim her. "Fuck Bella; can't wait any longer." I carried her to my desk luxuriating in the feel of her naked body against mine. It certainly was a merry fucking Christmas this year.

I sat her on the edge, and she lay back spreading herself open before me like the sacrificial offering that she was. The monster inside me hungered for her and her alone.

"So beautiful Bella; spread out like a feast before me."

I grabbed her ankles and spread her legs wider; I barely paused as I thrust into her, sheathing myself fully in her warmth. We both groaned in unison at the sensation.

She was perfect, everything I had ever wanted in a woman and I wished that things were different, that we weren't the doomed lovers that in reality, we were. I could never be with her and she could never be with me, too many things stood in our way. But if tonight was all I was given I would take it and bear the aching want for the rest of my life. I would rather have only a taste of paradise than never have known it at all.

She brought her eyes up to meet mine and they were filled with nothing but unadulterated lust. She began to roll her nipples in between her fingers and all my morose thoughts were banished. I growled and doubled the intensity of my movements.

She began trembling and my name shook as it fell from those alluring lips. I could feel her walls tighten around me as her orgasm overtook her, but I couldn't stop, I kept pounding into her, never slowing my momentum only speeding it up. I was relentless as I hammered her tight pussy.

I could tell she was close again, and I would have her cum again for me, I would have her say my name over and over.

She grabbed the edge of the desk as her second orgasm hit, her back arching and offering those breasts to me again. I could feel my own impending release about to overtake me as my legs began to shake.

"Bella, so beautiful when you come for me, calling my name, it sounds like heaven, I'm gonna cum for you Bella…in your beautiful tight pussy."

It hit me like a tidal wave, sucking my very consciousness out before thundering it all back down, crashing over me destroying everything in its wake. It was everything. It was a year's worth of relief and I was entirely consumed by it. My eyes closed and I clenched my teeth while I spilled into her, my body trembling uncontrollably.

It felt like an eternity before it finally subsided and I could think clearly again. I looked into the eyes of the goddess before me and smiled at her, completely fucking happy with life in general at that moment. I leaned down to kiss her, because I am a greedy fuck, and even though I just ploughed her silly, I still wanted her. I could stay like this forever, naked with Bella in my arms.

There was a knock at the door and my little bubble suddenly burst around me as I realised enormity of what we had just fucking done crashed down upon me. Our eyes met and Bella looked just as scared as I felt. It seemed all my Christmas miracles were used up, because Carlisle Cullen, CEO of Cullen Industries and my father walked through the door with Emmett and Jasper beside him.

Fantastic, I'm fucking starker's between my P.A.'s legs while my father and brothers stare at us. I was stone cold sober in a heartbeat.

Emmett and Jasper were both wearing identical surprised expressions, while my father looked nothing but completely furious.

"Edward, Isabella what is the meaning of this? I want you to both get dressed this instant." My father stormed out the door with Emmett and Jasper, slamming it behind him.

Reality had crashed down on both of us and now it was time to face the music. I drew out of Bella and put my clothes on, avoiding her eyes at all costs. Yeah, we'd both face the music, but ultimately, I would still have a job at the end of it and Bella wouldn't. How could I have been so selfish? I knew that nothing could happen between us. That was the sole reason why I always kept a professional distance from her; I didn't need to be wanting her; more.

Jack Daniels and Jasper's coke apparently disagreed with my proposed course of action, because they motivated me to do some fuck stupid things.

I moved quickly to the door without saying a word or sparing a glance at her. The guilt I felt was tearing at my stomach and I was too ashamed to look her in the eye. I hoped that somehow, I could convince Carlisle to just transfer Bella to another department, it was a long shot but I owed it to her to try and save her job at least.

I walked out the door and closed it quietly behind me. Jasper and Emmett were long gone and only Carlisle stood there glowering at me.

"What was that Edward? What were you thinking son?" I had no answer for him. Well, none that I wanted to give anyway.

"You realise that your actions have cost Miss Swan her job, don't you?" I looked at him, begging him with my eyes as well as my words

"Dad, please just transfer Bella back to Emmett." He cut me off with a laugh.

"How does that make it any better Edward? You'd still see her every time you went to your brother's office! Why are you fighting this Edward, you knew what the consequences would be when you started this affair."

"It's not an affair Dad; it was a lapse in judgement." The words cut through me even as I said them

"Transfer her to another department then, we were both at fault and should be dealt the same reprimand." I crossed my fingers that he would agree.

"Reprimand, it's gone beyond that son. Miss Swan's time at Cullen Industries has come to an end. I will write her a letter of recommendation on one condition." He looked at me calculatingly. This was the best offer I was going to get and I knew it. I took a deep breath

"Agreed," I said defeated.

His eyebrows rose, "Do you not want to hear the terms first?"

"No, whatever it is I'll agree to it." I stared at my hands as I spoke. I felt worthless, a failure. It was entirely my fault we were in this situation, I had instigated it, I hadn't locked the door and I couldn't even retain her job for her. I was the perpetrator in all this, yet innocent Bella would pay the penalty.

"I'm transferring you to France, and you will forgo all contact with Isabella Swan. In return, I will write Bella a personal letter of recommendation that will assure her securing any position she applies for in the future."

I said nothing, there was nothing to say. I didn't want to leave New Zealand, I loved it here it was my home. It's where I wanted to raise my family, I didn't want to leave. I would do so though for Bella. I knew Carlisle was right, that letter would walk Bella into practically any job she wanted. It was all I had left to give her now.

We moved back into my office and I heard the shower shut off in the bathroom. I stood by the windows and looked out at the Wellington skyline. I savoured it, and committed it to memory I would miss it when I left.

I heard Bella come out of the bathroom but I didn't turn around, I couldn't face her, not when Carlisle was about to fire her.

"Edward what do you have to say for yourself?" Carlisle asked me his voice disappointed. I continued to look out the window as I answered

"I'm really sorry Dad it was just a stupid mistake," I felt like I'd been sucker punched as I said those blasphemous words. Making love (well more like fucking, but that's neither here nor there.) to Bella was not a mistake, the repercussions she would suffer because of it, that was my only mistake.

"Isabella; as you know Cullen Industries most cardinal rule for employees is not to have office relationships. Especially between an employee and their boss I therefore have no alternative than to terminate your employment here, effective immediately."

I wanted to turn around and grab her and run away from here together, we could go to Waiheke and just hide out there forever. But I couldn't, I didn't know what this meant to Bella and I was sure she would be furious at me for costing her, her job. I couldn't blame her.

"Of course Mr Cullen, I'll pack my stuff immediately and leave all my security passes on my desk." She answered in a shaky voice and it cut across my already raw nerves like razor blades, if you could die of agony, I would have died right on the spot.

I heard Carlisle thank her and get up

"Come Edward." he ordered me. I turned away from the window and my eyes met Bella's of their own volition. I begged her to forgive me, to see how sorry I was and that I in no way regarded her as a mistake. I begged her to see how much I cared about her…..

Then the moment passed and our connection broke, I followed my father out of the room away from Bella, away from my life, away from the family that not yet was and from the family I did have.

Merry fucking Christmas Edward: Merry fucking Christmas indeed.


A/N: Plese feel free to review this chapter, all feedback is appreciated...Next chapter update will be the 5th jan then chapters will be updated weekly on either a Monday or Tuesday.....