A/N: I'm one of the most anti-homophobia girls you'll ever come across, first off. But after seeing the things I have on here, 'suspect tomatoes' and I had a conversation and I came up with this. My opinions are my opinions, that's all there is to it.
"What the hell are you laughing at?" Randy asked Ted as he walked into the locker room. Ted DiBiase was holding back giggles while Cody Rhodes was glaring at him with beet-red cheeks.
"Shut up. Don't you say it..."Cody warned.
"I'm sorry, it's just so damn funny." Ted nearly choked in his laughter.
"Spit it out, DiBiase." Randy said.
"You know those writing sites where people write about their favorite shows and characters?"
"Yeah...it isn't real." Randy said, still not understanding what was funny.
"Well you and Cody are quite the popular pair!" Ted blurted out before he fell against the lockers laughing. Cody balled up his fists and clenched his jaw.
"...What do you mean 'the popular pair'?" Randy turned his head to the side and squinted his eyes.
"You really have to ask Randy?" Christian asked. Randy turned and gave him an unpleasant look.
"Oh, oh, listen to this. 'Randy smirked at Cody and licked his lips-"
"Gimme that!" Cody snarled, snatching the piece of paper out of Ted's hand.
"That's disgusting and disheartening." Randy said through clenched teeth. And looked Cody up and down one time and shuddered.
"But so damn funny!" Ted was now doubled over on the floor.
"Shut up!" Randy kicked Ted in the side. He let out a quick grunt, then went back to laughing.
"I don't know what you're laughing at. From what I seen, you fancy the bitch position..." Christian said, rolling his eyes at Ted.
"What?!" Ted jumped up.
"'Bitch position'?" Randy asked.
"You read it?" Cody stared at Christian in shock.
"Ehh, gives me somethin' to do." He shrugged.
"There's a name for it, ya know..." Chris Jericho interjected, rather annoyed.
"What the hell?!" Randy's head turned faster than Cena running to a Vince McMahon 'Kiss my Ass Club' session.
"Slash. If you're gonna talk about it, call it slash."
"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Randy murmured.
"Aww what's the matter, Randy? Afraid life will imitate art?" Matt Hardy walked up and asked, taking a bit of an apple.
"I wouldn't talk Matthew. I don't know how you and Jeff could stand to look at each other if you knew the things you two do to each other...apparently." Christian said.
"Now I'm the one who's gonna be sick." Matt tossed his apple in the trash can and wrapped an arm around his stomach.
"That's just un-natural." Cody said, shaking his head.
"No, someone splicing our names together is un-natural. What the hell is 'Matticho'?" Chris asked with a look of disgust.
"Matt-icho? Hey I get it!" Ted smiled at his realization.
"Shut up bitch." Chris snapped a finger at Ted.
"Who thinks of this crap?" Randy asked as he zipped up his jacket.
"The same girls who scream your name out there." Chris replied. "Hey, aren't you gonna shower?" He asked.
"...No. I think I'll...just wait till I get to the hotel." Randy said. He turned around and shook his head at the guys before walking out the door.
"So, who's up for some pizza and beer?" Christian asked.
"No thanks, I'm watching my weight." Ted patted his side once.
"I'm game." Cody said.
"Me too." Chris said.
"Hahaha, Mattico..." Christian chuckled to himself as he led the group out the locker room. On the way out. Cody and Chris paused for a minute and eyed each other curiously.
"Nahhh." They said in unison as they walked away.