Set in Our Secret Lullaby
Our Christmas Lullaby
The road to the Cullen house is closed. The snow storm last night came down hard and fast, the gloomy town of Forks is blanketed in thick slush and though the sky is dark and Dean hasn't seen the sun for days, if not weeks, he couldn't be happier. The freezing snow, the iced roads, the roaring winter wind could not bring him down, not this Christmas. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt the festive season's joy. It was a strong feeling of happiness, of excitement, a warm and fuzzy feeling that wrapped itself around him like a blanket. It was amazing, wonderful, and it was all thanks to the vampire who stood before him in the center of the frozen road.
Dean smiled at the vampire that could blend right in with the slush at their feet. He walked towards him, trying to make it seem. Edward grinned at him and in one fluent motion swept him onto his back and raced off towards the glass house that was currently adorned with snow and an endless parade of Christmas lights.
Stepping into the house was like stepping into a Christmas movie. He could see endless tinsel, a china Santa that sang Christmas carols, all sorts of candles in greens, reds, golds and silvers set on tables. There was a snowman that changed colours, a reindeer with a bright red nose and big puppy eyes that reminded him of Sam. The room suddenly grew cold, the bright colours fading, what was Sammy doing this Christmas?
Was he in a winter wonderland like Dean? Was he standing in someone's house thinking about Dean, wondering how he was? No, he left, he abandoned Dean and he doubted he was on his little brother's mind. He pushed all thoughts away and turned to smile at Edward, who regarded Dean carefully, his brow creased in confusion. The hunter's ever-changing thoughts had left the vampire at a loss again.
"I'm fine" he assured, letting the warmth and colour seep back into the world "where is everyone?"
Edward made a face before sighing "they will be back later" he sounded wary, like one word would upset Dean or bring the world to a sudden stop.
"So we have the house to ourselves" Dean stepped closer to the vampire, nuzzling at his ice cold throat "I can think of some things for us to do."
Edward took Dean's hand that had gone on a straight path to the hem of his shirt "It's too cold."
The hunter pulled back "Dude, there's a heater going."
"Dean…" Edward bit his lip and took a step back.
The distance between them was too far, the need to kiss those full lips too overpowering. The hunter tilted his head forwards, the vampire meeting him halfway. The kiss was careful, no battling tongues or groping hands. It was just a taste of what could be. Dean parted his lips slightly, allowing, beckoning, for the vampires tongue. Heat flushed Dean's face as Edward's tongue brushed ever so gently against his bottom lip.
Edward suddenly pulled back "Dean…"
"Edward we've had sex before, why not now?" he asked, cutting to the chase.
"Because I want you so much" he breathed "and I am selfish, for taking so much already from you, I should have let you go" Dean's heart skipped a beat, "but I couldn't, I can't." he eased back, his golden eyes staring deep into Dean's. "This is my hundredth and fifth Christmas, did you know that?" he laughed quietly "imagine if I had to spend another without you? It would be unbearable."
"I have survived demons, werewolves, pissed off, revenge seeking spirits," he said evenly "I can survive you."
"I guess" he said gradually.
"C'mon Edward" Dean protested "what's all this about?"
Edward looked out the window, at the world that looked so different in white. It was peaceful, calming, like there was no evil dwelling in the shadows, it made it seem like there was nothing but goodness and Christmas cheer to warm everyones hearts. "Nothing" he shook his head as though to clear it of unwanted thoughts. "It's nothing."
"Ok" he said stretching out the word. "So if there is nothing wrong" he pulled his lover into his arms "and we have the house to ourselves" he wiggled his eyebrows "then let's make good use of it."
Dean eased out of Edward and collapsed next to him on the couch, Edward's skin so cold beneath his own, which is flushed and hot from their love making. He nuzzled into his lovers hair, taking in the irresistible scent. Edward stroked Dean's throat in a beckoning manner and the hunter nuzzled his way to the vampire's sculptured lips. The kiss was slow and lazily, their naked bodies press together, seeking contact and always, always needing more.
The kiss ended with Dean resting his head against Edward's, holding him close, never, never wanting to let go. When the silence stretched on Dean flicked the switch on the Santa and it started to sing 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.' With the song and familiar tune a smile crept onto Dean's face, a faded and almost forgotten memory resurfaced.
He was ten years old and Sammy was six, it was a no name motel and some backwater town and it was Christmas. They sung Christmas songs until their father walked in the front door, a gust of wind and a few bitter cold snowflakes following. They froze, he looked tired, angry but then a grin spread across his dirt smeared face. He raced towards them and hugged them both, that was the last Christmas Dean enjoyed.
An icy touch had Dean snapping out of his reverie; Edward's smile was soft and concerned. "Sorry, got pulled down memory lane."
"John not around at Christmas time" his words were sharp, a bitter edge on John.
"No" the single word ended any further talk of his past Christmas's. "This year will be different."
"Yes, Alice will make it living hell" his smile was humours now, anger and concern abandoned.
"Oh, please protect me" the vampire's hands were cold and smooth in Dean's rough and warm ones.
"I'm sorry but she is the one person I won't protect you from."
"Ouch. Thanks for that."
Edward squeezed Dean's hand before unlacing their fingers and moving into a sitting position, scanning the floor for his discarded clothes. Dean looped his arms around his lover's slim waist, pressing soft kisses against his pronounced hip bones. The Santa Claus's carol ended, leaving the room in near silence. Outside the trees scraped against the glass, the rusty leaves danced on the wind before settling onto the cold snow awaiting their next ride.
A low buzz followed by a familiar Christmas song had Edward reaching for his discarded jeans, the ringing ended with the touch of a button. The vampire turned to the hunter, who still lay comfortably on the couch. He smiled lazily, reaching for the phone only to have his hand pushed aside as Edward got up, pulling on his dark denim jeans. Dean pouted but the vampire's eyes said that he didn't want to rise either.
They dressed in silence, each pulling on layer after layer of clothing. Edward, of course, didn't need it but he had to uphold his image. Fully dressed Dean pulled the brunette into his arms, their lips meeting in a tender kiss. The vampire ended the kiss, licking his lips and staring up at Dean with his bright golden orbs.
"Alice wants me to take you to your place" he said evenly "I will bring you back tonight, around six."
"What is Alice planning?" he asked curiously while trying to hide his disappointment, he'd wanted to spend the day with Edward.
"That I can't tell you" he grinned.
"Should I be worried?"
"No" he laughed his grin melting into a warm smile "no, there is nothing to fear."
The thing about being alone is it leaves too much time to think. To sit here and stare out at the winter wonderland and wonder what Sam is doing. On Christmas Eve, on their first Christmas Eve apart. Was he thinking about Dean? Did he ever wonder if his brother was ok or still alive? Did he even miss him at all? Dean tried to shift his thoughts to other things but instead he found himself wondering how his father was. Where was he now? He hadn't spoken to Dean since he found out Edward was a vampire. Then he'd just left, like that. No huge fight or threats to kill the Cullens, just gone, like he was never here.
He briefly wondered if his father would have seen reason by now, seen that the Cullens weren't evil. Maybe he'd ring him for Christmas, though it was often like his father to forget the holidays, he'd missed so many Christmas's. For a fact, Dean couldn't even remember the last time his father called to say 'Merry Christmas' that's how fucked up his life was. And with his dad pissed at Dean for not being the perfect soldier, he'd highly be in a cheerful spirit. His life was screwed to hell.
Well, until now. Now he had a family to go to on Christmas Eve, a lover to share his bed with on those chilly winter nights. Edward gave him a reason to fight, to smile throughout the day, a reason to live forever. He wouldn't ask Edward now; he was still reeling from the night he was attacked by Michael. The fiery venom had been like nothing he had felt before; it scorched away his insides, shredding away his humanity. But for Edward, the pain, the fear and the suffering was worth it though.
He'd give up everything.
The day seemed to be passing by slow; the snow fell softly outside, keeping the ground hidden beneath it. Dean stared blankly up at the high rise ceiling, a steaming hot cup of cocoa sitting forgotten on the polished wood table. He cast a gaze towards the neatly wrapped presents that sat alongside his untouched drink. He'd gone shopping with Alice last week in search of something for Edward; he had no idea of what to buy him. What did one buy a vampire anyway? This is exactly why he took the pixie-like vampire, her smile burning a fire on the crisp winter's day.
Dean tugged his father's leather jacket closer to his body as he walked towards Alice, she embraced him in a quick hug, letting go just before he froze. She took his hand as she led him through the crowded streets of Fork's. It hadn't snowed yet, but Alice said it would soon, he never doubted this. Which is exactly why Alice was the best person to go shopping with, her gift of vision would let Dean know if what he brought was any good.
"He'll love whatever you buy him, Dean" she said cheerfully. "If it comes from you, no matter what it is, he'll love it."
Dean nodded with a faraway smile; her words had gone right over his head. He couldn't just buy Edward anything, it had to say 'I love you' and Dean had never, ever bought a Christmas present for anyone other than Sammy, his father and Bobby. He'd never had a girlfriend long enough to buy her something, he once thought it was because he moved around a lot but fate had just been pulling him towards Edward.
"Dean?" Alice waved a gloved hand before the hunters face, bringing him back to the world.
The vampire rolled her eyes "he loves music" she suggested.
"He has a million CD's already" he replied "C'mon Alice, you're the romantic, help me out here."
"So are you Dean" she said definitely "just listen to your heart, it will tell you what to get him."
"Oh, my heart" he grinned "thanks, helpful."
Her smiled beamed and she winked one perfect eye. "No worries."
She twirled around, catching the eyes of a few boys who gazed at her like she was the most amazing thing they had ever seen. Dean laughed at the expressions; they had no idea of what she was. To them she was just a girl, to Dean she was his sister, his friend and at the same time, his sworn enemy.
Dean slowly sat up, the steam from his cocoa no longer visible, the snow outside falling heaver. He sighed heavily before rising to his feet, the floorboards creaking beneath him. He collected his cocoa, taking a long drink, the liquid warming his insides. He made his way to the kitchen, stopping at the sink to stare out at the front yard, seeing nothing but endless white. He slowly spun around, leaning against the bench and taking long sips from his drink.
He glanced at the clock, only 4:30, too far away from 6 to his liking. He placed the now empty mug in the sink, his eyes once again glued to the winter wonderland outside his house. He hadn't played in the snow in years. He missed his carefree days where he and Sammy and spend hours in the snow, having snowballs fights, making snow angels and just having endless fun until they were so cold they could barely move.
He subconsciously walked to the door, already throwing on his snow jacket and beanie before he even knew what he was doing. He pulled the door open ready to be greeted by the icy winds but what he saw was unexpected but not unwelcome. Alice and Jasper grinned at him, Edward smiled warily. Dean stepped out into the cold, walking passed the vampires before turning to face them with a large grin.
Alice spoke first "couldn't let you have a snowball fight by yourself."
"You saw me having a snowball fight by myself?"
"No, just saw you standing here like an idiot" she laughed "thought we'd best save you from that."
Dean mirrored her laugh "well, thanks" he clapped gloved hands together "what are we waiting for then?"
Time went by fast. Speeding up with the snowballs and laughter, only slowing when they retreated to the house to sit in front of the fire. Dean was the only he needed to thaw out, the vampires were forever cold. They could have spent all night playing in the snow, but the hour or so Dean shared with them was enough. He and Edward teamed up against Alice and Jasper, managing to come out the winners of the first snowball fight. All that ducking and weaving was tiring, his hands, though covered, were numb from creating snowballs. Only once Dean was warm enough did Edward move closer to him, resting his head on his shoulder.
"So what have you been doing all day long?" he asked challenging.
"She'll never tell" Jasper said softly "but you will find out soon enough."
Dean looked up at the clock; it was six on the dot. He smiled down at Edward before facing the vampire couple "We'll meet you guys there."
Alice, if she could have, would have blushed "Ok, well, we should go Jasper."
"Goodbye" he nodded before rising to his feet and vanishing in a split second.
Now alone Dean turned to face Edward, he stared blankly at the dancing flames and Dean wished he could read minds because his lovers expression was unreadable was it was too often. "What's wrong?" he asked, his tone tinged with annoyance.
Edward looked up at him, his golden orbs melting all traces of Dean's annoyance "You should have a shower" he straightened up in one swift fluent motion "get warm" he added with a gentle smile.
"Did I do something wrong?" Dean felt his heart ache and his body grew cold.
"No" he replied evenly "It's just…"
"Just what?" he protested "Edward, tell me, please."
"Just…" he sighed heavily "do you really want this life?"
"One day" he replied promptly.
"Are you going to ask me to turn… tonight?"
"What! No" he exclaimed "I want to turn one day, yes, but not right now and I'd never ask you on Christmas. Is that what was bothering you?"
"Yes" he looked into the flames, his eyes glowing bright "Rosalie said you might ask it of me."
"Uh I see" he said gradually "don't you think she was just shit stirring?" he quirked a dark eyebrow "Maybe trying to make us fight, so I won't be there on Christmas?"
Edward looked back suddenly "That sounds like Rosalie."
Dean tilted his head and caught the vampires lips in a gentle kiss "I'm not gonna ask."
Edward nodded. "You should get ready, we'll be late."
"Ok" he kissed him once more, feeling the flames dance against his skin and heat rise in his cheeks "You could join me?" he teased.
"Then we'll be really late."
Dean kissed him again, leisurely and tender "Alice will understand."
The Cullen house looked even more beautiful in the night. The outside is a rainbow of colours, the many Christmas lights adorning the large glass house bathe the front yard in greens, reds, blues and pinks. Inside the house is lit by the many candles and the lights dimmed to create soft and serene lighting. Dean embraced Alice and Esme as he stepped in from the cold, his mother figure and sister in many ways stood back, smiling brightly up at him. In the distance he could see Rosalie, Emmet by her side, she had that same look of hate in her eyes but she forced the smallest of smiles.
The rest of the night was perfect. It was exactly like a normal Christmas Eve should be; only it was far from normal, since it was a hunter celebrating Christmas Eve with a vampire family. But this was a close to normal as Dean would ever get. As he knew, normal was not for him but he didn't want to not be normal either. So he met in the middle, somewhere between a normal life and the life he knew. It was just right for him, allowing him to be himself and share his troubled past and yet blend into the world where monsters didn't dwell.
Midnight found Dean and Edward lying on a large bed, staring up at the ceiling that was just visible in the dark night. Snow fell outside, the lights now switched off, leaving the house in darkness. Dean and Edward shared small, lazily kisses, like the ones they shared on Sunday mornings. It wasn't long until the fatigue forced Dean into a deep sleep, his lover smiling dreamily as he watched every breath he took.
Morning came fast. Dean woke to the world's most beautiful sight. Edward lay on his side, a smile gracing his handsome face as Dean's eyes fluttered open. The vampire rested his marble hand over Dean's steady beating heart, his smile faltering slightly. Dean didn't need to ask what was wrong, he knew that smile, that flicker of pain in his eyes, he was thinking about the day when Dean's heart would beat no more.
The hunter placed his warm hand over the vampire's ever cold one. He lent forwards and captured his lips in a soft good morning kiss. When they broke apart the look was gone, replaced by a heartfelt smile. Dean rose into a sitting position, reaching across to the nightstand to get the neatly wrapped gift. The vampire followed suit, sitting motionless like a statue. Dean chewed the inside of lip nervously, hoping this gift was good enough for such a perfect being.
"It's only half of your gift" he said, an underlying of nervousness to his words.
"Dean all I need is you" he said "nothing more."
Dean felt the butterflies in his stomach that had never been present before settle "yeah but it's Christmas" he grinned then added, thrusting the gift at him. "Open it."
Edward smiled and took the gift, unwrapping it carefully. Once the golden paper had been discarded he could see a simple yet beautiful silver frame. A picture had yet to be placed within it; Dean had decided it was Edward's choice to choose the photo.
"It's perfect Dean" he said smiling "and I know just the photo."
"Mind reader" Dean scowled playfully.
Edward's smile melted to a grin "so what's the other?" he mirrored one of Dean's 'you know you want me' expressions.
Dean chuckled lightly, his stomach filling with butterflies again "well it's not that…" his cockiness waned "it's something else."
Edward shifted, looking slightly uneasy. Dean didn't see this sudden change though; he composed himself and tried to find the right words to say. He entwined his fingers, feeling the silver ring that he had owned for as long as he could remember. He looked up, a small smile gracing his face; he took a deep calming breath. "It's not exactly new… but it means a lot to me… and I" he slowly started to slid the ring from his finger, keeping his eyes locked with the vampire's so he wouldn't notice. "I want" the ring slid free, he reached for the vampires icy hand "I want you to have this" he slipped the ring onto the vampire's finger, his eyes wide in surprise "so you can never forget how much you mean to me, how much I love you."
"Dean" he breathed, looking from the ring to his lover "this is ring is a part of you, it's you. You can't give yourself to me."
"Because you're a vampire?" he kept his voice light, hiding his anger. "How many times do I have to tell you this? I. Don't. Care" he cupped Edward's face with his trembling hands. "You are my whole world, I love you. I give myself to you."
Edward shook his head, freeing himself from Dean's grasp "if you give yourself to me, you give up everyone else you love."
"I'm not asking you to turn me" he said "I am giving you my ring, and yes, by giving you it, I am giving you my heart, my soul, my body but I want to" he paused "I want you."
"Even at the price of everyone else?"
"Yes" he kissed him feverishly putting all his love and need into the single kiss. "Please accept it."
"I accept your love" he smiled "but I will never take your soul, it is something one should never give away."
Dean sagged, too tired to keep up the same fight. "Fine, just shut up and accept the rest."
Edward's smile brightened "I accept your marvelous body and your beautiful, kind and loving heart" he took Dean's hands into his own "and thank you, for the ring."
"Glad you liked it" Dean kissed him passionately, "Merry Christmas Edward."
Edward planted a tender kiss on his lover's lips before whispering "Merry Christmas Dean."
Wow I left it late to write this lol anyway it's short and sweet but please let me know if you liked it and the next chapter to OFL will be up after Christmas. I hope all my readers enjoyed this :) Merry Christmas everyone!