The Demon Prinny Zero
Disclaimer: I own nothing in regards to anything featured in this fic
Chapter 9: Red Light Celestia
"What the!?" Laharl balked in surprise as he beheld the piles of undulating flesh before his eyes. "Was the portal girl drunk or something!? This can't be Celestia! I refuse to invade someplace where a bunch of sexy women are having sex all over the place!"
"Out of my way!" Etna growled as she stormed off with an impressively menacing aura surrounding her as she tore through the able bodied Prinnies that were attempting to block there way while their comrades were...indisposed.
"Move it!" Nina growled out as she ran Laharl over with a storm like aura complete with lightning surrounding her, trying to get up he was trampled by Cornelia, and then Li Xingke.
"I would help in their divine vengeance against the Angel with a Large Mustache," Rivalz stated with a noble tone that was at odds with the drool, nose bleed, and the automated camera's focusing on the feast in front of his eyes. "but I must stand guard here to prevent someone from closing our way home! Now where is that lotion..."
"Die!" Laharl snarled as he ended Rivalz existence before he could finish unfastening his pants, he thankfully managed to take great care not to damage the cameras, or Milly would have taken them out of his hide in a terrifying manner.
Now that he took care of that, he was forced to pay attention to his surroundings and it was just in time to avoid a black haired angel dressed like a priestess desperately trying to hold her robes closed as she was being chased by a blonde fallen angel with ridiculously long hair flowing out of two meatball like buns on the top of her head.
"Let me show you the light of love Rei!" The blonde called out with a lustful purr.
"Don't do this Serena! What would Darien say!" Rei called out desperately as she beat feet towards a temple in the distance.
"He's busy with his old guardians..." Serena stated as she suddenly darted forward and tore off Rei's priestess garb leaving her running only in a pair of traditional underwear. "Besides our daughter is having quality time with Hotaru!"
"I was drunk when I slept with you!" Rei called out desperately as she sped up only for Serena to suddenly appear in front of her.
"You are the father of my child and I demand that we have another baby!" Serena stated in an authoritative tone as she caught Rei, slung her over her shoulder, and tore her underwear off before teleporting away with her.
"I need a drink..." Laharl stated even as the screams of horror and cries for mercy from Vulcanus pierced the air, immediately a Prinny from Celestia's defense force walked over to him adjusting its jet pack.
"I see that you have chosen to invade this peaceful world..." Captain Gordon the Prinny stated with a narrow eyed glare.
"Well this peaceful world shouldn't have directed your EDF into attacking us," Laharl replied with a glare. "besides that fool with the large mustache was stupid enough to kidnap Flonne and the other angels that are my vassals..."
"What villainy!" Gordon shouted in outrage, "How could you imply that an angel would act in such a manner!"
"Face the true might of Angelic Fury!" Vulcanus roared in the distance as the sky was lit up by a circle covered in Angelic script.
"Master!" The chorus from the new gate caused a shiver of horror throughout the beings of all who heard it, for their in all of their horrifying glory floated the...Abomination and a horde of male Angels dressed in skimpy clothing that looked nearly identical to him. "We have come!"
"I have seen...the truth." Captain Gordon stated in a solemn voice as his face was wreathed in shadows. "This false paradise is the root of all villainy!"
"How come that lazy bastard never fought so well when he was my vassal!?" Laharl demanded as his burning glare focused on the one sided battle between Captain Gordon and everyone else vs the Abomination and its horde of copies... the Nephilim. In the end their would be no survivors on the Abomination's side, in their victory the Alliance formed between Captain Gordon and the forces of semi-good would banish the Horde of Nephilim to Dimitri's plane of existence where they were ironically content in what to them was a paradise.
Meanwhile on Earth...
"Well that was easy..." Lelouch stated in a musing tone as he looked at the pathetic form of General Carter who was curled into a fetal ball even as his Lelouch's children continued to amuse themselves with his retinue.
"Those poor men..." Jeremiah stated in a haunted tone even as Cornelia stood upon a pile of EDF soldiers laughing in a diabolical and victorious manner, the fact that she claimed Earth in the name of Lady Morrigan made him want to leave quickly, but then pretty much everyone else was fleeing before she came to her senses about rounding up fodder for Morrigan's ever growing harem.
What was unstated was the fact every man on Earth was now slated for Dimitri's harem the minute they come of age, except of course for a moderate breeding population to keep the population growing, but then when these facts get out it will cause havoc ranging from riots which were quickly suppressed to frantic immigration of those young enough to dodge the Harem Draft.
Back with Laharl in Celestia...
"For some reason I get the feeling that something bad is going to be waiting for me when I get back..." Laharl muttered to himself ignoring the screams of first Vulcanus and then Seraph Lamington while throwing a couple blasts into the hordes of Nephilim currently battling Captain Gordon and a number of Angels, Demons, and Prinnies of all shapes, sizes, and colors.
"Hello Laharl," Mid-Boss stated in a serious voice as he appeared in front of Laharl with his wife who now that Laharl thought of it looked a lot like his mom. "you wouldn't mind looking after your sister for us would you? No, well then good luck!"
"What!" Laharl roared angrily as Mid-Boss and his wife disappeared leaving a solemn looking baby girl staring at him with an unimpressed look on her childish face, her hairstyle being basically identical to his own.
"Yes Laharl Mid-Boss is the reincarnation of your father," Lelouch interrupted from the Hel-Phone he gave Laharl to update him on his financial status. "his wife is the reincarnation of your mother, and the reason I didn't inform you of this before is that they payed far more than you in bribes. Don't bother yelling at me because you are listening to a pre-recorded message set to go off after your dad revealed who he was to you..."
"...Those Bastards!" Laharl roared angrily as he realized he had just been saddled with an unwanted sister by his now living parents who just ran off in what was most likely a very long vacation, worse he has nobody to take it out on even though the only finances he doesn't handle is his snack fund, and if he crosses Lelouch he won't have snacks for the rest of eternity or until he manages monumental bribes to overcome the hard feelings.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIE EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Seraph Lamington's strident scream of pain echoed throughout Celestia.
"Etna!" Flonne's scream actually drowned out Lamington scream of immense pain, soon after the Seraph's pained whimpering was counterbalanced by moans and screams of pleasure from all over Celestia.
"Screw it," Laharl growled in a grumpy manner as he started stalking towards the portal with his sister firmly attached to his cape. "I'm going home and getting some ice cream, and then I'll just sleep for a century or two..."
Two Months Later...
"May Zero live on..." Lelouch murmured as he dropped his old Zero uniform into the Dimensional Nexus along with marginal copies of himself that were more like sons that he had raised in the item world he had custom created to allow time to pass very fast, which meant fifteen years of teaching and training within fifteen minutes.
"What have you done you fool!" The Gatekeeper/Dimensional Guide demanded in dismay. "That was the Dimensional Well of Probabilities!"
"Probabilities?" Lelouch repeated as he looked from her to the well which now showed random images from many dimensions, including one showing a younger version of himself in a reality like he remembered being sucked into a dimensional vortex created by Britannia apparently testing some kind of weapon, and then the same version of himself reappears a couple years later looking like a demon like Laharl floating in the air as if it was completely normal. "Let's just keep this to ourselves..."
"...Right..." The Dimensional Guide stated in a nervous tone as she took in the company that Lelouch kept...and more importantly their vaguely threatening manner which they expertly pulled off inspite of being Majin. It helped that one of them was casually pulling a sword halfway out of his sleeve only to return it back up his sleeve as if it wasn't threatening at all.
Author's Note: Well we have reached the end of this thrilling tale and yes I left some openings I can pick up upon later, namely Lelouch's blunder with the well. I hope this entertains those reading this story and stuck with it in spite of my slow updates. I truly apologize, but a number of things just kept battering away at my enthusiasm for writing. Namely the death of my father, my mother and brother's declining condition and well let's just say its been stressful...