DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, lovies! I just finished Reassigned Identity so it's time for another story. I hope you like this one too. Don't forget to review and give me your thoughts even if it is just, 'loved it.' or even 'hated it.'
SUMMARY: Edward makes one memorable first impression. "'Stop listening to my music, get off my cell phone, and bring back my truck!' I seethed. 'Now!'" Are first impressions really the most important? Let's hope not. AU-HUMAN. All canon couples. OOC
Luck- Good luck, bad luck. I don't believe in it. I do however believe in the pure idiocy of mankind. And I am a walking talking magnet for those idiots. I also believe in Murphy's law. You know, 'whatever can go wrong will.' Well undoubtedly! I'd like to find that Murphy guy and shoot him. Especially on days like this when that law seems to govern my life. Case in point: I am at this very moment on the phone with my very own carjacker. Yes, Seriously.
"Rosalie! Let me borrow your phone."
She corked an eyebrow at me, her expression reading somewhere between 'make me.' and 'say please.'
"Give me that dang phone! Someone stole my truck."
Her eyes widened.
"What? Are you sure you didn't forget where you parked it?"
I narrowed my eyes at her. You misplace your car once and convince yourself that it's stolen and no one will ever let you live it down!
"What." She demanded, seeing my expression. "Someone stole 'the chumbucket?'" She finished with an unconvinced look.
I huffed. So my truck wasn't exactly the most attractive piece of metal on the road today. It had personality! Plus it was one of those boats that you always see completely intact, without a scratch at the scene of an accident- right next to the little imported car it just totaled. My friends had a problem seeing it that way though. Emmett was the one to come up with the charming nick name back in college. I wasn't sure what was more disturbing- that the name stuck or that a grown man was obsessed with SpongeBob.
"Someone stole it." I repeated. "Alice and I went to the store earlier to get ingredients for dinner tonight. Of course she insisted on driving so I left it parked right in front of her house."
She nodded slowly, following my story.
"But when we got back it was gone!"
There was no way I had just forgotten where I had parked the thing. Alice and Jasper's house was big but there was just no way. It's kind of hard to miss a big, rusted, red truck. I had run across the street immediately to borrow Rose's cell phone because Alice wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to get hers. Jasper had gone somewhere with Emmett earlier or I would have borrowed his. He was by far the most logical of us.
I rolled my eyes, snatching the cell phone away from her. She glared at me but didn't say anything about it.
"So, are you calling the police?" She asked, letting it go.
I shook my head.
"I'm going to." I said, dialing the number and listening to the ringing on the other end. It was a long shot I know but I had to try... "But first I'm calling my phone. I left it in the glove compartment."
She shot me a look like I had just grown two heads.
"I saw it on Oprah." I said, waving a hand at her when she started to protest.
"What kind of an idiot would answer the-"
I smirked at her and her mouth dropped open. Never doubt Oprah!
"They answered?!" She shrieked.
"Ssh!" I hissed, cupping my hand around the phone.
"Hello?" The voice said again.
I took my hand away from the receiver, taking a deep breath in preparation.
"You a-hole!" I hollered into the phone.
There was the static of the silent phone line for a moment and nothing else. I tapped my foot impatiently.
"Pardon me?" they eventually said.
"You stole my truck! What the hell are you thinking?" I fumed. My dad had given me that truck!
"Your truck?" The voice on the other end of the telephone asked timidly.
I huffed, pacing back and forth in the entry way.
"Yes!" I snapped. "My truck. You know, the one that you stole."
"Huh." the carjacker said, sounding slightly amused. And then the jerk laughed. He laughed!
Rosalie threw a couch cushion at me.
"What's going on?" She asked, watching me intently.
"He's laughing." I ground out through clenched teeth. Her eyes widened and I nodded indignantly.
"What the hell is so funny?" I demanded.
The laughing stopped.
"Nothing." he said but I could tell he was still laughing on the inside. Douche bag. "So... Debussy? I'm impressed."
I blinked. Whoever this was they were seriously deranged. Completely unbalanced.
"Debussy." he repeated as if I just hadn't heard him. "It's what's in your CD player right now. It's one of my favorites."
I swear a vein popped in my forehead. No one touched my stereo- especially not someone who I didn't know, definitely didn't like, and had STOLEN my vehicle.
"Stop listening to my music, get off my cell phone, and bring back my truck!" I seethed. "Now! And what makes you think I care if you're impressed?"
What nerve! What kind of person does this? Steal a random truck, talk to them on the phone,(THEIR phone!) and then give their casual opinion of their music?
"Fair enough." he chuckled. "Under the circumstances."
I narrowed my eyes. If he didn't stop laughing I was going to hunt this man down and make him pray for death.
"Would it make you feel any better if I told you I didn't mean to steal your truck?" he asked, sounding hopeful.
A short cynical laugh slipped from my mouth. How do you accidentally steal a person's vehicle?
"I thought I was pranking my cousin." he explained. "I knew he had just bought a new truck and a friend of mine dared me to move it."
"Do you do everything you're dared to do?" I countered. Was he twelve? Oh my god! Was he twelve? No, he couldn't be. He sounded like an adult. His voice was extremely masculine as a matter of fact.
"Yes." he answered simply.
I rolled my eyes.
"So," he continued. "it's all just a simple misunderstanding. But I am terribly sorry."
He stopped talking long enough to change tracks on my CD. I could hear it in the background.
Was he kidding me?
"No!" I snapped. This guy had more nerve than anyone I had ever met. Scratch that- he probably had more gull then everyone I had ever met combined.
"And stop touching my stereo!"
"You have quite the temper, don't you, Ms..." he trailed off. "Uhm... I apologize. I don't think I've had the pleasure. What's your name, miss?"
"I'm not giving you my name." I huffed. I watched Oprah after all! What if he decided to stalk me after he was done getting his kicks from stealing my things? He was a criminal after all.
"Fine." he said easily. "I'll just call you, beautiful."
Rosalie was still watching me intently and I shook my head at her, throwing my free hand out in exasperation.
"Does that ever actually work for you?" I asked in a monotone. I didn't wait for his reply. I just continued with a roll of my eyes.
"Beautiful is not a name." I informed him icily. "It is a description."
Rose cocked her head to the side.
"Who's he calling beautiful?" She whispered.
I turned around, ignoring her. She would demand all of the details later but I was busy right now.
"Awe." the cocky, arrogant, jerk sighed. I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Beautiful is also a term of endearment. I could call you, my love, if you'd rather."
Oh. So he was one of those guys. I wasn't sure which was more annoying and disturbing; a carjacker or a lady's man. I'd met his type before, those guys that will hit on anything with breasts just because they could. The ones that liked the chase even if they didn't like the girl.
"You've never even seen me, you arrogant little-"
"I have seen you." he interrupted my rant.
I stopped short, my mouth snapping shut. I looked around anxiously as if I was going to spot him looking through a window or something. Who was this guy?
"Well, at least I'm assuming I have." he corrected, nonchalant as anything.
"You know what they say about people who ASSume." I countered. "They make an ass out of you and me."
He laughed like this was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.
"I do believe I've heard that somewhere." he agreed amiably. "Regardless, there is a charming photo on your cell phone of three very lovely ladies."
I blanched. Crap. The picture was of me, Alice, and Rosalie from a party last weekend. I hadn't wanted to have the picture taken but they had made me. As a matter of fact I hadn't wanted to go to the party but they made me do that too. I threw a thoroughly confused Rose a nasty look over my shoulder. She had insisted that it was a good picture of all of us and had taken the liberty of setting it as my background. I had to admit they looked gorgeous just like always and I looked halfway decent so I had kept it.
"You don't even know which one I am." I sniffed.
"Oh. So you are in the picture." he said smugly.
"You're right, I don't know which one you are." he allowed. "But they are all very beautiful so the name works regardless."
I scoffed. Man was he going to be disappointed when he realized he wasn't talking to Rosalie or Alice.
"Bella." Rose hissed, shooting me a look that could make grown men shake in fear. She may look like Barbie but Barbie never perfected the throat punch. "What is going on?"
On the other hand if he had done this to either of them they would find his address, sneak into his home while he was sleeping, and preform a very painful castration. So, maybe he should just count his blessings hm. They were by far prettier but they were meaner too. I smirked at Rose and she huffed, crossing her arms, and plopping down onto the couch- aggravated at being left out.
"But," he continued smoothly. "I must admit- I'm hoping you're the brunette."
"Well," I snapped. "Tough luck Buddy! I'm-"
I stopped short. What had he just said? I must have heard him wrong. Had Rose or Alice dyed their hair brown while I wasn't looking.
I actually looked at Rose over my shoulder really quick. No, her hair was still a silky blond color. And Alice's short pixie cut was a jet black. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't unattractive I suppose. But Rosalie and Alice were gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact that no one usually even noticed me if I was standing beside them. I was just Bella Swan, unnoticeable and average.
"You're what?" he prompted, pulling me from my reverie.
"I'm calling the police." I finished, back to the ice queen.
There was a pause on the other end of the phone and I smirked, feeling fairly proud of myself. So, smooth talker has nothing to say huh?
"Is that really necessary?" he asked finally. He had the nerve to sound like I was the one being immature.
"Yes." I clipped furiously. "I do think it's necessary to report my stolen truck."
"It's more like a borrowed truck." He said, sounding a little nervous.
"Borrowed involves asking permission to use said vehicle." I quipped.
"You are very into technicalities."
He didn't give me time to retort.
"I'll have it back as soon as I can."
"How soon would that be?" I asked. I could call the police but that would be a lot of paperwork and I wasn't sure how they would feel about me reporting a stolen vehicle when the person had volunteered to bring it back...
"I don't know." he replied easily.
I took a calming breath- in through the nose, out through the mouth.
"If it's not back in ten minutes I'm calling the police." I informed him in my no nonsense voice.
Rose waved her hands in the air, trying to get my attention.
"He's bringing it back?" she whispered, clearly confused by just hearing my side of the conversation.
I nodded and she looked even more confused.
"How about half an hour?" He said.
My grip on the phone tightened. Was he bargaining with me?
"This is not up for debate." I said dryly. "Ten minutes."
"How about twenty?" he asked.
I let out an angry exhale.
"I'm calling now."
"Okay, okay." he chuckled. "I'm right around the corner. I'll be there in three minutes."
I threw my hands into the air, almost dropping the phone.
"If you were right around the corner why did you try to barter for more time?" I asked, flabbergasted.
The volume on my stereo went up a little.
"Because you're so easy to rile up. It's kind of fun." he said simply. "I'll see you soon, Beautiful."
And then the phone line went dead. I took the phone away from my ear, looking at the screen- unblinking.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, what did you think? Should I continue? I have the next four chapters written already so how fast I update depends on how many reviews I get. I hope you all liked it. Any thoughts? If you read my other story say hi. :-) Here's a preview of the next chapter...
"Do you usually steal other peoples vehicles too?" I asked.
He looked like he was fighting off a smile.
"This would be a first actually." He said, mirroring my stance minus the scowl.
"I'm so glad I was able to witness it." I said sarcastically. "I hope you got it all out of your system."
"Don't know." he said amiably. "Just might need a getaway car for when I rob the bank later."
"I wouldn't doubt it." I snapped.
He raised an eyebrow, seeming surprised.
"I was only joking." he said slowly and then he grinned. "I robbed the bank yesterday."