A/N: Hello peoples. Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, Happy Late Kwanza and Happy 25th of December of whatever you guys celebrate!

I fail at wishing all you lovely readers : ))


From: narutouzumaki(at)uzumakipaint(dot)org

To: sasuke(dot)uchiha(at)leafhospitals(dot)org

Subject: Pipe DOWN!

You do realise everyone can hear you? Mostly me and Hinata, due to our unfortunate seating position near the bathroom.

The sounds are too much for poor her virginistic (Hah! At least my wife-to-be didn't lose her virginity to my brother) ears.

So thus my Subject.

Hating You Forever (But you're still my best man, you teme)


From: sasuke(dot)uchiha(at)leafhospitals(dot)org

To: narutouzumaki(at)uzumakipaint(dot)org

Subject: You Fail

It's illegal to use these things on the plane.

And we're not that loud. hbsdbjdsklfahsfpoafmp

You're interrupting.

Go die.


"No, not really." Shikamaru replied in response to the question the blonde lady sitting next to him had just posed.

"It wasn't a question." She gritted her teeth at him and he raised an eyebrow. His first girlfriend, Yama-something-really-long, had always found it spectacularly irritating. And when she got irritated, something troublesome would always happen. And when something troublesome happened, her high-society parents would always get on his ass about it.

It was a drag.

"I'm going back to sleep now." He closed his eyes and put his head on the cool window cover.

"You've bruised my shoulder. And I have to go out wearing a one-shoulder dress… Tomorrow! I demand compensation."

Mentally groaning, Shikamaru blinked his eyes open. There was an easy way to deal with this. "If you beat me at a game of chess, I'll do whatever. If I beat you, you have to shut up for the rest of the flight."

Temari smiled. She might not be specifically good at chess, but she was an extremely proficient strategist. She had 'strategized' her entire marketing campaign and, considering how successful her designer line was doing, it had worked out pretty well.

As Shikamaru began setting up the chess pieces he procured from his bag, Temari put her 'Game-Face' on. The one she used before kicking the ass of any poor fool who tried to grope her ass…

Game on, Pineapple-Head.


"Do you get off on torturing strangers?" Tenten asked the man next to her after several hours of defiant silence.


"Don't play stupid. Did you, or did you not, ask for me to be seated next to you?"

Neji looked at her. He noted her angry brown eyes, and the messy buns. "You don't know who I am?"

"Of course I do. That's why I'm asking…" she rolled her heavily outlined eyes. "You're that noob-face from the Departure Lounge."

Neji tilted his head as he observed the oblivious woman in front of him. She honestly didn't recognise him. Hmm- maybe this could work to his advantage. He cleared his throat and attempted to smile.

Tenten reeled back. "Erm… what are you doing with your face?"

Neji tried to strain the smile further. "I'm smiling…"

"Yeah. You might want to stop that now."

Neji's 'grin' dropped. "You're impossible."

"You're a dick."

"I'm trying to be civil. You're not making it easy."

Tenten watched as the man ran his hands through his messy, short brown hair. He was astonishingly good-looking, but, as she had learned the hard way due to a certain (also brown haired) boy when she was younger- astonishing good looks always equalled astonishingly assholish personality.

"You're number-number-something, right? What number was it, again? I think-"

"Tenten." She said in a voice that could have chilled frozen steel.


"How do you even know?"

"I saw your boarding pass."


"Listen!" Neji had never been this frustrated before, "Stop insulting me. I haven't done anything to you and your constant infantile behaviour is starting to piss me off." He fumed silently for a few seconds as he gloated in Tenten's shocked face.

His satisfaction was momentary. Tenten burst out laughing and, to his infinite surprise, ruffled his hair. "Hey, Jerk-Man. I like you angry, kind of reminds me of someone I knew a long time ago. Hmm…" she looked thoughtful for a moment. "I don't suppose you know your way around London?"

"Like the back of my hand." Neji lied.

Tenten beamed. "Then, will you help me find my friend's wedding? Apparently she's marrying the absolute foolshe's been in love with since like, forever. She used to faint every time he spoke to her- can you believe it?"

'Marrying? Abulute fool? Faint? Believe it?' Neji almost allowed himself to smile for real. Almost.

"It would be an honour. Are you sure she wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not! Hinata's a sweetie."


They returned to silence for the remaining hours of the flight.

Good morning passengers, this is your Captain speaking. We will begin our descent in a few minutes. If you require any assistance on navigating your way throughout the airport, a help video is available on your televisions. Please remember to keep all electric devices and seatbelts on. Thank you for flying Delta Airlines!


Sai looked at the lady sitting on the floor in front of him. He was drained, but couldn't show it.

Yes. He was incapable of showing emotions.

Apparently he was the opposite of the woman sitting in front of him, who was hugging "Muttley" and crooning over him. She had made him stay up all night.

This could go on no longer.

"Miss. Excuse me."

Ino looked up at the man sitting on the ridiculously comfortable sofa in the lobby. His hair was mussed and he looked incredibly bored… but he still hadn't left.

Ino saw this as an opportunity to flirt with the hot vet. She fluttered her eyelashes and bit her lip before saying in a heated voice, "Yes, Doctor?"

"Do you plan on leaving this building within the next twenty-four hours?" For a man that had no feelings, he sure could do sarcasm well.

Ino narrowed her eyes at this. She was no stranger to sarcasm. "Well, excuse me, I don't see what you're rush is. You blatantly have no social life, and that means no friends, which means no social interaction which instantly means no social gatheri-"

"My friend is getting married tonight."

"You have friends?"

Sai said nothing, just gave Ino an incredulous look.

"What's his name?" asked Ino, purely for the sole purpose of hearing his sexy voice again.

Ino was very good at falling in love… Okay. She'd admit it. Not love. She was very good at falling in lust.

But seriously.

Who wouldn't lust after this guy.

He sure as hell beat all the stuffy aristoBRATS her parents kept trying to hook her up with.

"It's a she, actually. Hinata."

"As in Hinata Hyuuga?" Ino was shocked.

"Yes, but how did you kno-?"

"I know her. And her fiancé. My family and Naruto's go way back."

"Naruto? That small-dicked man she's marrying?"

"Whoa. Small-dicked? Poor Hinata. She's saved herself for so long… And her husband isn't even well equipped? Poor baby… Hang on- How do you know? Are you gay?"

Sai rolled his eyes and scowled at her.

Which, technically, wasn't an answer…


Ino was bent on making Sai hers.

They were both suddenly startled as both their phones simultaneously went off. They both checked them. "Sorry, I have to go." they said, perfectly in sync.

Sai rolled his eyes again. "I suppose it's only customary that I offer you a lift?" He paused to think for a second. "Only if it's in the right direction though."

"Erm… Heathrow Airport?"

Sai looked at her and then back at his phone.

Sai-san. We have just arrived at Heathrow Airport. I'm sorry to bother you, but please could you come and collect us now? We're at Terminal 3. Hinata.


The group of four people had been waiting at the Luggage Carousel for over an hour and their bags still hadn't all come out.

Sakura was not amused.


"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Who's picking us up?"

It was here that Hinata put in. "My friend Sai is coming to take us to our hotel."

Naruto turned to her. "I thought you asked me to get someone to pick us up!"

Hinata just stared. Honestly, she loved Naruto, but sometimes, she just didn't know what to do with the situations he got them into. His methods were crazy and she had no idea how he'd managed to get out of everything alive so far…

"I already asked Ino to pick us up. You know, Ino Yamanaka."

"Yamanaka?" Sasuke, his hair suspiciously ruffled, rubbed incongruously at the small red bite marks on his neck. "I think I operated on a British guy called Inoichi Yamanaka a while ago. She wouldn't be related to him, would she?"

"Ino's his daughter."

Sasuke just blinked. All he remembered of Inoichi Yamanaka was that he had been some aristocrat from England who had a brain tumour that he didn't want anyone finding out about… and that he'd thrown a huge hissy fit when he found out his long blonde hair would have to be shaved.

Hinata and Naruto had gone off to the side to try and decide whether or not the fact that two people were coming would be a problem or not leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone at the baggage carousel. "I'm just going to the Ladies Room, sweetie." Sakura winked at her husband and then hurried off.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and began waiting for the rest of their luggage. He rolled his eyes at the large orange suitcase which could be no one but Naruto's and pulled it off the carousel. "Erm," came an accusatory voice from behind him, "Why are you stealing my luggage?"

Sasuke spun around, irritated. "It's not your luggage. And I don't steal."

The slightly bored looking man with hair vaguely resembling a pineapple that was with the woman accusing Sasuke simply yawned and pointed at the label on the suitcase. "Temari Subaku. That's her." He pointed at Temari.

"That's right, Chess-Failure. Now pick it up and follow me."

Sasuke watched as the man muttered something that sounded like, "This is such a drag…" and bent down to pick up the suitcase.

He himself had only a small green backpack.

Sasuke made sure to check the label before pulling the next bright orange suitcase off.


By the time Sakura had returned, Hinata and Naruto were back and Sasuke was standing surrounded by all the luggage. "You know… considering this was planned yesterday, and we're only here for one night, wouldn't you say you packed a bit much?" he indicated Sakura's seven suitcases.

She responded by giving him a 'loving' (by which I mean, extremely painful) punch in the arm.

"Teme! Sakura-chii! We've sorted it all out. Me and Hinata will go with whoever out of Ino and Sai arrives first, with all the luggage and whatever, get everything at the hotel sorted and all that. You two will come next."

"Yes. I'm sorry we have to go separately, but it's really the only way we can justify to Ino-chan and Sai calling the both of them here."

"Also, Neji's going to be here soon. It's probably best if I'm not here when that happens…"

"Got it." Sakura smiled. "Now it's just a matter of one of them arriving already."

"I don't think that's an issue…" Naruto noticed something through the crowd and his eyebrows shot up into his fringe. "There's Ino… and kick me if I'm wrong but- I think the guy giving her a piggyback ride is Sai."


"Yes, teme?"

"Can I kick you anyway?"

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOO! Long time no see!" The pretty blonde woman who was indeed currently on Sai's back grinned and waved wildly. The two arrived at the group and Ino hopped off. "Hey, Hinata. Nice to see you!" she smiled. "I don't know you two but…" he eye fell on the hickeys on Sasuke's neck and both his and Sakura's mussed hair. She winked inconspicuously, "I think we'll get along just fine." She bounded over to Naruto and they launched into stories of 'The Good Old Days'.

"Miss Yamanaka?" Sai's voice sounded choked.


"I see your ankle has made a miraculous recovery..."