Not for Lack of Trying
What's the use?


"He can think faster than a super computer, but he can't do first grade math?"

The skepticism in the young Hawaiian girl's voice permeated the kitchen air. Her older sister folded her arms.

"No," Nani said, "He can't." Stitch was scribbling numbers onto a page in Lilo's notebook, regarding the open math book every few seconds to know what equation was next. Nani snapped her fingers at him and pointed towards the door. "In the living room, Stitch. Now."

Finished anyway, he slid the notebook and pencil back over to Lilo and flipped the math book closed. He hopped down from his chair with a compliant "Okie," and headed for the doorway. Nani stretched across the table and tried to pull the notebook away from Lilo, who smacked both her hands down onto it and held it pressed against the table.

Stitch paused to watch the fun.

"C'mon Nani, I'm done now!" Lilo protested, "Do you want me to spend all afternoon working on something that Stitch can finish in three minutes?"

"Yes I do! You need to do your own homework, Lilo," Nani said, prying her sister's smaller fingers off the notebook and tearing the page out once she had it.

Lilo and Stitch both groaned.

Nani gave the notebook back, and tore the page in half, then in quarters, and so on, dropping the confetti into the trash can. Lilo let her forehead hit the table in defeat, and Stitch made to climb back into the chair beside her.

"Nu-uh," Nani said, stepping in his way, "You go to the living room and let Lilo do her homework."

"What's the point in having a super-smart alien for a friend if he can't help you with your math," Lilo complained, opening the wretched book again. Stitch rattled off something in his alien language as Nani shooed him towards the living room and Lilo nodded. "Well, yes, but that goes without saying."

"I wouldn't mind him helping you, Lilo, but he can't do all the work, that's cheating."

"You used to cheat at monopoly all the time and I never got on to you," Lilo pointed out, remembering past family fun nights.

"Everyone cheats at monopoly, that's half the fun of playing with family," Nani said, frowning, "Besides, that was a game -- homework is different. You have to learn how to do it for youself, Stitch can't do it for you."

"But what if I have questions?"

Nani sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, look, Stitch can help you, but he can only answer your questions."

"Great. I have 26 questions."

"Lilo, I'm not kidding," Nani said firmly, frowning at Stitch when he chuckled at the remark. He stopped immediately and pressed his hands to his mouth, ears down. She looked back at Lilo, whose grin vanished just a quickly. "You do the work yourself, he can't tell you the answers. If I catch him doing one more problem for you or giving you answers I'm ripping up the paper again and seperating you two until your finished. All right?"

"All right," Lilo and Stitch chorused.

Exasperated, Nani left the kitchen, and Stitch climbed back into the chair beside Lilo. She copied her name and the date onto the top of the new piece of paper, then wrote down the first problem again. Stitch turned his ears in the direction Nani had gone and was quiet for a long moment, leaning over into Lilo's chair to see the math book.

Tapping the first problem, he finally muttered, "Is 42."


(A/n) I don't think that I have HONESTLY EVER been as DISAPPOINTED in a fandom as I am in the Lilo and Stitch one. Almost 1,000 LaS fics, and only ONE of them is worth any crap... I'm the ONLY author actually TRYING? Seriously, honestly TRYING to write or think about what this movie was ACTUALLY ABOUT....? ....Damn it, I like reading fanfiction, too... *goes to sulk and write more for herself*