TITLE: Allowing A New Love To Enter

SUMMARY: Mary has been dead and buried for two years. Jack is still refusing that he loves Mary's youngest sister, Siobhan very much. Almost as much as he loved Mary. Can he overcome his sense of betraying Mary by falling for her sister? Can Mary help him in his time of denial?

RATING: T

CATEGORY: Family/ Friendship/ Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/ Tragedy/ Spiritual/ Angst/ Crime

CHAPTER ONE

REMEMBERANCE

"Siobhan don't shut down on me." Jack looked deeply into Siobhan's eyes trying desperately to reach her, before she shut completely down.

"I always wondered how it would feel, to not to feel anything." She looked into Jack's eyes; deep into his soul where she saw the love he had for her there. "Tell me Jack."

"What?" Jack asked looking back at her.

"That you love me." Siobhan said matter-of-factly.

"Of course I love you. You know that kid." He smiled kindly; trying to lighten the moment.

"No Jack. Not the love you feel for Mary's sister." Siobhan shook her head. "But the love between a man and woman." She looked again into Jack's eyes.

"I can't." Jack said softly.

"Tell me how much you need me. How much you want me. How you can't stand not touching me. Craving me into your own image of the perfect lover. Of just aching to wrap yourself in my essence. To never have to let go." She said still staring deep into Jack's soul.

"I can't." Jack repeated.

"Tell me how you dream of me at night. How you wake up with your body on fire with desire. How even when you are awake and going about your day you can not stop picturing me in your arms making love." She said not realizing that a frantic note entered her voice.

"I can't." Jack shook his head slowly still staring deep into Siobhan's eyes.

"Tell me ..." she continued

"Siobhan stop." Jack said in a commanding voice.

"Tell me how you will die if you don't' have me." She continued.

"No!" Jack looked deep into Siobhan's soul trying to reach the place where he could stop this madness and save her love.

"Tell me Jack." Siobhan said softly.

"I can't I'm sorry." Jack said softly.

"I'm leaving. I'm going to Texas and staying with Pat." She said without feeling.

"You don't' have to leave Siobhan. We can work this out." Jack said back in his normal tone of voice.

"No Jack ... I have to work out my feelings by myself. It's killing me to be in the same room; same state as you and know that we can never love each other as we BOTH need too." Siobhan shook her head.

"When are you leaving?" Jack sighed resigning himself to her leaving.

"As soon as the cab gets here." She stands up and starts to walk past Jack's chair.

"Siobhan." Jack said softly as he places a firm hand on her right one and stopped her.

Siobhan closes her eyes as she felt his love coarse her body. She opened them again, and stared at the open parlor door saying "Good- bye Jack." She pulls her arm away and walks from the room.

"Siobhan." Jack said sadly as he stared at the lace curtains which were drawn at the window.

End Flashback

"Siobhan." Jack said softly staring off at the far wall.

"You said something Jack." Faith said softly looking at Jack. She heard his tone of voice as he said Siobhan's name. She knew how he felt about Mary's little sister known all along. But since she finally took the blinders off of her heart she dealt with the truth and betrayal of Mary's memory. She finally felt at peace with Jack's love for Siobhan after Mary's spirit paid her a little visit.

Jack looked started over at Faith who was sitting on the sofa looking kindly back at him. "N-nothing." He had completely forgotten that she was there while he thought back to when Siobhan left for Texas a few months ago.

"I know Jack." Faith said simply.

"You know what Faith." It wasn't a question more of a statement. He looked steadily into her eyes.

"I know of your love for Siobhan." Faith said looking steadily back into his eyes.

"How." Jack asked.

"I have known all a long. Mary has also." Faith said softly.

Jack sat dumbly staring at Faith.

"It's all right Jack. Mary approves." Faith leaned forward. "Mary's spirit visited me an few weeks ago and she helped me understand your and Siobhan's love for one another."

"Siobhan doesn't love me. Not anymore." Jack said sadly.

"Yes she does." Faith said matter of factly.

"No. I pushed her away one two many times." Jack said mono toneless.

"That's why she left for Texas the day after you two came out of hiding." Faith nodded her head gently.

"Yes." Jack said.

"She still loves you Jack." Faith said matter of factly.

"No!" Jack stood up and went to the fireplace, and slapped his hand down hard on a glass that was left there. He broke the glass into many pieces; but didn't feel the pain as shred of glass bit into his skin.

Faith jumped up and rushed to Jack. She had grabbed the white towel next to the tea tray, and took Jack's hand into hers. She began to wipe away the blood as her eyes took in the damage of his hand. "We need to get to Riverside where we can properly remove the glass."

"Faith. Don't tell anyone about my feelings for Siobhan." Jack looked deep into Faith's eyes.

"I promise I won't." Faith promised. She turned and led Jack out of the Ryan's parlor.

(AT RIVERSIDE HOSPITAL)

"Tell me how you dream of me at night. How you wake up with your body on fire with desire. How even when you are awake and going about your day you can not stop picturing me in your arms making love."

Jack blinked back the desperate tears that came to his eyes as he heard Siobhan's voice.

Faith quickly cleaned around the wound on Jack's hand and realized with the first touch of the glass that Jack wasn't feeling anything. She looked at the hand and saw with the relief that the nerves jerked whenever she touched the wound. She knew that Jack was deep inside his soul with Siobhan so she didn't have to worry about giving him a pain killer.

"I always wondered how it would feel not to feel anything."

It's lonely. It's dark. It's incomplete. It's nothing.

"No Jack. Not the love you feel for Mary's sister."

What's wrong with loving you as Mary's sister?

"But the love between a man and woman."

I do love you as a man and woman. But you are Mary's sister. Not just a woman.

"Tell me how much you need me. How much you want me. How you can't
stand not touching me. Craving me into your own image of the perfect lover. Of just aching to wrap yourself in my essence. To never have to let go."

I can't. I wouldn't. Not to Mary. Not to you.

"Tell me ..."

What do you want me to tell you?

"Tell me how you will die if you don't' have me."

I told you I wouldn't. I can't.

"No Jack ... I have to work out my feelings by myself. It's killing me to be in the same room; same state as you and know that we can never love each other as we BOTH need too."

As you need me too.

"Tell me ...."

No

"Tell me ..... TELL ME ...."

"Jack! Jack." Faith placed a gentle hand on Jack's shoulder to bring him back to the present.

Jack looked over at Faith and than down at his bandage hand. "You are done all ready?"

Faith nodded.

Jack smiled. "Thanks. What do I owe you?"

"A meal and a good long talk." Faith said gently.

Jack nodded.

"Tell me how you dream of me at night. How you wake up with your body on fire with desire. How even when you are awake and going about your day you can not stop picturing me in your arms making love."

Jack shook his head. "What was that Faith?"

"I said how about if I ...." Faith shook her head knowing that Jack's mind wasn't in the present. "I'll walk you back over to Ryan's."

The two friends got up and left the examine room. Not realizing that Delia saw them leave.

END CHAPTER ONE