I must say that participating in this kind of contests is interesting. What's more, I have a nice excuse to make a fiction like this one. The only thing I wish (and hope) is that this fiction is of your pleasure to enjoy.
I'm telling you something: this is a much different story than any other. People like to risk their stories by making parodies of other known Christmas stories. What did I say about that? Screw that idea. I want to do something more original, but still Christmas-related.
This story will contain most of the Smashers. Also, be on the lookout for some little 'OOCness' in some bits of the chapter.
Well, introduction aside, please enjoy this. ;)
Disclaimer: Tabuu would make a good Ebenezer Scrooge. Imagine the guy in pajamas.
"So...it's clear to see what happened here, right?" Master Hand said.
"Yes, but too bad we don't know how it happened," Mario said.
"Yes, that's the biggest problem here..."
Multiple sighs came from many of the Smashers.
It was a plain snowy day of Christmas in the Smash Bros. universe. Like most times of the year, Master Hand (somehow) managed to convince most of the Smashers to hold a gift-trade in Christmas day. The whole group of Smashers was gathered in the main lobby of the mansion, most of them wearing coats because of the cold weather, all of them standing around the big Christmas tree of the main lobby.
While it would look weird to see Snake, Lucario, Meta Knight, Mewtwo, Ganondorf, Bowser, King Dedede, Wolf, and Wario to share gifts with somebody else...well, they didn't take part of this. In fact, they were all away from the mansion; most of them wanting to be in solitude while others wanted to stay away from the bunch of weirdoes (particularly each other or another Smasher) as much as possible.
However, what was the problem that they were all facing now? The problem was about the gorgeous-looking 15-feet tall Christmas tree in the middle of the lobby that made them all groan. Don't think badly, though. The tree itself didn't look different. When night arrived, its sparkling lights blinked from time to time to give some illumination, and the very same lights would shine above the wide-arrange of presents that were always under the tree's branches.
So what was the problem?
"Who the heck takes all our gifts away RIGHT on Christmas day?" asked an annoyed Ness.
Indeed, the gifts that were usually resting under the tree's branches were all gone from existence. There were absolutely no squared boxes wrapped tightly in nice-looking wrappers under the pine anymore. The Smashers could only either stare in shame or look angry at this.
"I'm pretty sure everyone is thinking about that question now," Toon Link said annoyed.
"Before someone suggests beating on someone to death," Master Hand began as he floated around the tree, "we're going to be civilized people and track down this thief."
"Oh no," Falco began as he crossed his arms, "normally hitting someone would resolve this very quickly."
"Sorry, Falco McBloodyFight, but we're going to do this without having to beat on someone," Master Hand said as he stopped floating around in front of the tree. "One thing we know for sure is that nobody has exited nor entered the mansion yesterday."
"Oh yes," Mario said. "Last time I checked, the presents were here last night, right?"
"Correct," Marth said. "They were all here before they were all taken away."
Peach blinked. "Y-yes, they were here yesterday!"
"Good, good," Master Hand said. "We're actually making some small progress now."
"Actually," Ike began, "instead of narrowing our suspicions, why don't you just mind read our minds to find out who was it?"
"Yeah...I can't do that today."
The Smashers stared at the hand.
"...What?" Master Hand asked to break the silence. "You don't believe me?"
"Last time I recall, you're one of the few people here who can read minds," Link said. "Unfortunately, both Mewtwo and Lucario were the only ones who can do that, and Ness and Lucas here don't even go that far."
"Hey, was that supposed to be a complaint?" Ness asked annoyed. "I COULD read minds, but it's just that I don't try to train my mind so much. I'm still a boy, mind you."
"B-besides, what if I end up not controlling my mind?" Lucas asked worried. "I-I wouldn't want to read someone else's mind out of the blue..." He looked at C. Falcon and shrugged.
"Why are you looking at me that way? I'm not thinking about sick things!" C. Falcon complained.
Lucas shivered. "S-sometimes, I think I can hear your thoughts when I least expect it..."
Zelda frowned. "C. Falcon, my respect towards you has decreased a lot more..."
"Did you even have respect for him?" Pit asked.
"Everyone, stop it!" Master Hand yelled. "I'm very sorry to say this, but even if I don't look like it, I have a headache today. Headaches are very bad when you try to read someone else's mind."
"If you ask me, you look perfectly fine," said Roy.
"Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh...no, seriously, I have a headache today," Master Hand said. "Try listening to your hyperactive brother singing Christmas carols all night long and you'll get what I mean."
"Oh, so that's why there was this annoying singing waking me up at 3:00 AM," Zelda said annoyed. "You couldn't shut him up?"
"I would and had loved to, but if I did shut his mouth, he would cry, and his crying is even worse than his singing," Master Hand said. "Besides, he's still singing. If you stay silent, you'll hear Crazy Hand."
The Smashers remained silent to hear Crazy Hand singing several floors above the main lobby. From what they could tell, what Crazy Hand was singing wasn't even Christmas-related.
"That isn't even a Christmas song," Diddy said. "That's the 'This is Halloween' song from that stop-motion movie."
"Yeah, my brother doesn't like to sing the same song over and over again so he uses random ones," Master Hand said. "You know what's good of this? I memorized every single holiday song in my mind. What is bad about it? IT ANNOYS ME WHENEVER CRAZY HAND IS SINGING!" he yelled before panting a bit. "But anyhow, that's another adventure for another day. Today we are facing the mysterious disappearance of our gifts. We have to get to the bottom of this dilemma before you get to argue with each other as much as you want."
Jigglypuff pouted. "Don't you worry," she said. "I have the perfect solution for this problem."
Master Hand 'looked' surprised. "Wow, you have one? I didn't think you would have a good idea."
Jigglypuff smiled and looked proud. "Here's the plan: I'll sing an-"
"NO," everyone interrupted quickly.
The Balloon Pokémon instantly pouted. "Hey, let me say my plan before you say no!"
"No, no, no, no," Ivysaur said. "If it involves you singing, it's gonna involve everyone sleeping on the floor."
"I hate to admit it, but he's right," Charizard said. "There's NO damn way I'll fall asleep because someone wanted to sing."
Jigglypuff raised a hand. "I know you're all going to fall asleep, but that's the part one of my plan!" she complained. "Okay, listen before you say no: I'll sing so everyone falls asleep. After everyone falls asleep, I'll leave this place and look into your rooms to see if you're hiding the presents in there." She smiled happily. "That way, I'll find out who the thief is!"
An eerie silence made Jigglypuff shift her eyes, finding many of the Smashers staring at her.
"...You guys know you hate silence, right?"
"You know, that sounds very suspicious of you," Yoshi said. "If you're going to do that, what if...you're the real thief here? Are you going to make your escape while everyone's sleeping?"
"...What? No!" Jigglypuff yelled. "I'm not the thief here! What makes you think that?"
"Your plan, duh," Squirtle said. "Sure, we will fall asleep, and you'll sneak out of the mansion with all our presents."
"The little innocent Pokémon makes everyone fall asleep so she can take all the presents and leave behind the mansion, unaware that there will be a bounty for her head..." ROB said.
Jigglypuff stared at him. "...You're being overly poetic today, you knew that? Besides, what did you mean by that?"
ROB closed his eyes. "In a few words, you stole the presents."
"I-I don't have the presents!"
DK pointed at her forehead. "She's sweating and stuttering! I think she's hiding the presents!"
"Y-you little punk... I-I'm sweating now because everyone's giving me those odd looks, and most of those odd looks come from really shady faces!" she pointed at Fox, "especially yours, Mr. Single McShadyCloud!"
"For the last time, everyone agreed that this is how I look," Fox said as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Nobody EVER said that," Roy pointed out. "We DO think you have a very shady look, Fox, no offense..."
"Actually, his look is way too shady," Sonic said as he rubbed his chin. "Heck, he could be evil; evil enough to steal the children's presents."
Ness closed his eyes annoyed. "I'm going to let that comment about the 'children's presents' go for this time. You've got to call us guys next time."
"That aside, Fox did it," Sonic said as he crossed his arms.
"What was that supposed to mean now?" Fox asked irritated. "Do I even look like I'm evil?"
"Yes, you do," everyone else said.
"The eyes..." Ike trailed off.
"The snout..." Pichu said.
"The creepy smile you have during ALL our matches..." Diddy added.
Lucas shivered. "W-when he punched me, h-he was smiling!"
Peach shook her head. "Fox, how can you be so evil and cruel?"
"I'm neither EVIL nor CRUEL, dammit!" Fox yelled loudly and looked at Falco. "If you're all going against me, then why don't you go against Falco?"
"Hey, don't put me in the same train you are!" Falco yelled. "You're the one who stole the gifts, right?"
"What IS making you think that, anyway?"
"Your shady look."
"STOP IT!" Master Hand yelled. "We'll leave the argument about Fox's shady look for another day. We have to find out who stole all our presents!"
"...I still say it was Fox," Mr. Game & Watch said.
Fox grunted and began to pant a bit.
"Stop, now," Master Hand said before sighing. "Seriously, this isn't getting us anywhere. We have to find the thief before the day ends or else this isn't going to feel like it's Christmas at all. What's the point if we find the thief tomorrow after today? Oh no, we're going to keep the Christmas spirit with us."
"W-who's the Christmas spirit?" Luigi asked. "I-is it a ghost?"
Master Hand sighed annoyed. "It was just a saying, Luigi..."
"P-phew..." Luigi sighed in relief.
"Really, somebody should have a good idea," Master Hand said as he looked at the Smashers. "Samus, you're probably one of the best in thinking ideas. Do you have any?"
"Well, I must say...I don't know myself," Samus admitted. "I don't have a good place to uncover the perpetrator of this crime."
"So, you guys are facing what appears to be a crime, huh..."
The Smashers heard some kind of almost-suave voice coming from the second floor. They all looked over the long staircase of the left to see a small who wore a brown coat and a brown hat as he held a pipe on his gloved right hand. The figure, watching them from the stairs, began to walk down.
"W-who's that guy?" Pichu asked.
"I don't know..." Mario said. "I don't even remember a guy like him in here..."
Master Hand shook himself and stared at the figure. "Hey, who are you? How did you get in here?"
Once the figure reached the main lobby's floor, he stared at them behind the collar of his coat and the hat that covered his sunglasses. "I'm surprised you all have forgotten about me..."
"We don't even know you, dude," C. Falcon pointed out. "Who are you? Are you the thief who stole the presents?"
"That...I assure you I didn't do such a thing," the figure said. "However, this dilemma you're all facing seems to interest me a lot..."
Master Hand went over to take a closer look at the figure. "Okay, whoever you are, you need to reveal your identity and tell us why you're interested in helping us."
The figure looked up at him. "Sorry, but I rather hide my face than showing it to you."
"Pfft, I don't think so," Master Hand said as he simply took off the hat and revealed the figure's face. "...You?"
The Smashers looked confused at the real face of the person who stared at them with his left hand in one of the pockets of the coat. Many of them couldn't believe who it was. They all stared confused at the small figure of about three feet.
"...Seems you don't know me at all," the person said.
Nana frowned at this. "Popo, you can knock it off already."
In truth, the figure turned out to be Popo. The blue Ice Climber was wearing the brown coat and some sunglasses that covered his eyes. The brother of Nana kept staring at them before pointing up at Master Hand. "Give me back my hat."
Master Hand didn't listen, but instead wanted to talk more. "Er, Popo, what's up with you today? Why are you dressing like some sort of drama detective?"
Popo blew some air into his pipe, bubbles floating out from the hole. "Nothing is up with me today, Master Hand. In fact, I'm here to give a hand to find out the culprit of this...gift-napping..."
Pikachu looked bored at Nana. "Nana, your brother is acting weird today. Why's he like this?"
Nana sighed. "Well, you see, Popo's been reading and watching detective series these past days, and he's been locked up in our room for the whole month. He's become so addicted to detective series that he himself got those clothes..."
"And... What else?"
"He's been practicing how to be a detective," Nana said. "But let's just say he does...an average job at it..."
"...So did he become a good detective or what?" Diddy asked.
"Indeed," Popo began as he fixed his sunglasses a bit, "I'm the only ace detective in this mansion. Ironically enough, you people need a detective to solve this mysterious crime, isn't that right? Currently, my services are free for the time being...unless you wait until I start charging money..."
Ness frowned at this. "Popo, you're starting to act a little bit OOC today..."
"Well, what would it be, Ness?" Popo asked. "Do you want to open your presents before the day passes?"
"Do you think you can force me to accept your services?" Ness asked. "Oh no, sorry, but I'm not that desperate enough."
"...Actually," Master Hand began as he put Popo's hat back to his head, "why don't we give it a try?"
The Smashers stared at him with some disbelief. "What? Are you crazy?" Sonic asked. "We barely knew he wanted to be a detective and you want to risk our luck with him?"
"Why not? At the moment, we don't have ANYTHING to risk," the hand said as he looked back at the gift-less tree. "And since Nana said Popo's been studying how to be a detective...it's worth the try."
"He's just a kid," Roy said. "He could be just tricking us."
"I wouldn't want to trick all of you in a moment like this," Popo said. "You seem to be at a loss as well. Do you want to stay like this and not make any progress?"
"W-well..." Lucas played with his fingers, "I-I don't see why we should be like this..."
"Exactly," Popo said as he walked to them, Master Hand floating close to him. "If you ask me, we may as well follow my plan to find the culprit of the crime."
"Are we seriously going to listen to what he has to say?" Toon Link asked.
Popo pointed his pipe at Toon Link. "You rather argue all day?"
"Of course not."
"Then there's your answer," Popo said. "Now, if you guys want this to get over with, you'll have to listen to everything I want you to do so we can find the culprit." From his pockets, the detective Ice Climber took out a notepad and a pen. "Of course, I know the best way to find the culprit is by interrogation; personal interrogations to the most potential suspects."
"Well, that seems helpful," said Marth. "I'm curious to see who the real culprit is."
"Why, it could be you."
Popo began to dot down something on his notepad. "In fact, I can see many suspects looking at me. Heck, what if this wasn't someone's plan but rather a group collaboration? There could be more than 1 culprit between us."
The Smashers began to mutter things between each other before Popo finished dotting down whatever he wrote on his notepad.
"Finished," Popo said. "I have the most potential suspects of this crime right here on this little notepad."
"Really?" Pit asked. "Who are they?"
Popo showed the angel the page of the notepad. Pit narrowed his eyes to read the note aloud.
"...Everyone but me..." Pit read the note. "...What? Are you serious?"
"Hey, everyone's a suspect except for you, Popo?" asked Nana annoyed. "Even I AM a suspect?"
Popo stared at some of the pissed looks of some Smashers. "Well, yeah," Popo said. "You're all suspects. Why, you hide very intimate secrets nobody else wants to know..."
"And how do we know you're not the suspect yourself?" Falco asked.
"That's because I'm not the suspect."
Falco narrowed his eyes. "What? You little son of a-"
Nana pointed her hammer at Falco. "You DARE finish that word and I'll SMACK you. If you dare say that to Popo, which means it's just like you're telling me that as well!"
Popo clapped his hands together to get the attention. "Everyone has to stay silent so we can move smoothly through this," he said. "Actually, after looking back at all of you, I can easily narrow all the suspects to find the culprit easier." He took the notepad away from Pit's hand. The detective Ice Climber began to write more things on the note before he looked at them and nodded. "There, I have found at least 8 suspects, one of them being the culprit."
"W-wow, that was fast," remarked Olimar. "J-just by curiosity, who are they?"
"...Oh...I see..." Olimar nodded.
"...WHAT?!" Olimar asked shocked, his eyes snapping open with horror. "W-why me?"
Popo pointed his pen at the small captain. "Captain Olimar, you're a suspect because you seem to be a lot of your time in solitude," Popo said. "I barely see you talking with any other Smasher...but let's not talk with you so soon and prepare this much better, shall we?" he asked before looking up at Master Hand. "I need a chair."
"Why do you want a chair?" Master Hand asked.
"I need it. You'll see why soon enough."
"Okay..." Master Hand said unsure as he snapped his fingers and made a wooden chair appear besides Popo. "There."
"Thanks," Popo said as he dragged the chair a little bit to the direction of the exit so it could be at a distance where everyone could see it. "Okay, here's how we're going to things around here: I'm going to call the 8 suspects to sit on this chair, and I'll begin an interrogation so I can the culprit behind all this, you got it? This chair here is the Chair of Truth and Embarrassment."
"Why the embarrassment part, though?" Yoshi asked.
"If the culprit is an adult, wouldn't be it embarrassing to steal presents from kids like Lucas?" Popo asked. "Poor boy needs his presents badly."
"Y-yeah, that would be embarrassing..." Lucas said before he recalled what Popo had say a second ago. "...H-hey!"
"Moving on," Popo continued, "we have our 8 prime suspects, and one of those suspects is the culprit who likes to steal gifts from guys who would surely own his, her, or transsexual butt with a fight," he explained. "And I have my reasons for these 8 people to be the suspects. I already said why Olimar was a suspect, but here are the other 7 suspects." He cleared his throat a bit. "Our first suspect is...Olimar..."
"...Our second one is..."
Tension rose between the Smashers, as Popo remained silent. Many of them didn't look like it, but they were all sweating a bit. Some of them shifted their eyes uncomfortably while some others narrowed their eyes at each other. Popo kept staring at them from behind his sunglasses to see if someone wouldn't be able to tolerate the suspense.
"...Can you PLEASE say the second suspect, please?" C. Falcon asked annoyed.
"Oh, thanks," C. Falcon said with a grin.
"...Say what again?"
Popo nodded. "C. Falcon, you're the second subject of the list because you have this mysterious air around you... I mean, you're the only guy here who wears something to protect your face. How can we tell you don't hide something very...obscure?"
"I AM not the only one here to wear something to cover my face," C. Falcon said. "If you forgo-"
"Since Meta Knight isn't here, you're the only here who's wearing a helmet in the mansion."
"B-but, hey, you don't have good logic behi-"
"Our third suspect is Sonic."
"What?!" Sonic asked before glaring at him. "Hey, why the hell am I a suspect?"
"Dude, admit it," Popo said. "You're one of the two guests to become part of the tournament. Nobody knows absolutely anything about you at all. Besides, what ARE you, anyway? We haven't seen someone who has a whole eye and 2 pupils."
"What do you mean by a whole eye? I have 2 eyes, I'll let you know!" Sonic said as he raised two fingers at Popo.
"Then what the hell is that small gap under your brow?" Popo asked.
Some of the Smashers went to check Sonic's eyes. Upon closer inspection, they did see there was a small gap between Sonic's eyes that ran under his brow. Some of them looked disgusted while some of them gasped.
"I'm NOT the culprit here just because of this!" Sonic yelled at them.
"We shall see, one-eyed hedgehog," Popo said, Sonic grunting a bit. "Our fourth suspect is...DK."
DK blinked in shock. "M-me?"
"Yeah, you," Popo said. "DK, you're one of the happy-go-lucky Smashers. Since you're Diddy's uncle, one can easily assume you're way older than him, right? Well, it's really weird to see someone so enthusiastic as you to be...enthusiastic. So then, I saw that you could be a potential culprit to this."
"Ooh, burned," Pikachu teased a bit.
DK looked worried and shook his head. "B-but why would I steal the gifts?"
"You wanted to have fun, 'nuff said," Popo said.
"What? That's everything you have to say about me?"
"Oh..." DK thought for a moment. "...Hey!"
"No heys here, sorry," Popo said. "Our fifth suspect is...Pit."
The angel looked confused. "Me? Why am I a suspect?"
"You like to do good, right, Pit?" Popo asked. "If you ask me, that's a perfect alibi for everyone to see you as a nice boy...but...that is so fishy as well," he said. "So why are you excused from everyone else? Pit, I'm not stupid, therefore I shall bring you to the very same thing you always look up to: justice."
"Hey, that's kinda true," Sonic admitted.
"Aren't you supposed to be a suspect?" Pit asked bored.
Pit crossed his arms and shook his head. "I-I wouldn't even steal something like gifts during Christmas day, I swear!"
"We shall see, briefs boy," Popo said (while Pit blushed a bit at this comment, some of the Smashers looking away). "Our sixth subject is...Fox."
Fox instantly glared at Popo. "Okay, now I know you're being plain retarded. Why do you think I'm the culprit?"
"You face is HIDEOUSLY shady, need I say more?"
Fox grunted a bit. "For crying out loud, everyone here said the same thing! Really, are you all thinking it was me just because of my face?"
"Y-you smiled when you were punching me!" Lucas suddenly yelled as he pointed up at Fox. "F-for that matter, y-you even chuckled!"
Most of the Smashers shook their heads in shame at Fox.
"I-I..." Fox stared in pure disbelief at everyone. "D-do you want me to undergo plastic surgery on my face or what?"
"...Phew..." Fox sighed.
"...That wouldn't be a bad idea, actually," Mr. Game & Watch commented.
Fox glared at him. "What?"
"MOVING ON," Popo raised his voice to interrupt a fight from breaking out, "our seventh subject is...domo arigato, Mr. Roboto."
Toon Link tilted his head. "Who?"
Popo rolled his eyes. "R.O.B., people, R.O.B. the robot."
R.O.B. tilted his small head for about a 75-degree angle to the right. "Why is it me?" he asked.
"Face it, you're very mysterious yourself," Popo said. "You don't even have a mind that can be read with Master Hand's powers or the other psychic freaks' powers. You have an edge for having immunity for your mind to be read."
R.O.B. closed his eyes, adjusted back his head, and shook it. "I don't think you're being rational into thinking I did such an action."
"Like the movie Wall-e, robots need love," Popo said. "You need love, and to get love, you need to steal the happiness inside each gift you stole with you."
"..." R.O.B. stared at him. "...Are you going to base your suspicious about me just because of a movie?"
"Our final suspect is..." Popo interrupted, making the Smashers gasp a bit. "...Our final suspect is..."
Many of the Smashers that weren't mentioned made a group gulp as Popo kept staring at them. The ones that were already mentioned either could frown for being falsely accused or look down at the floor.
The detective Ice Climber kept staring at them behind his sunglasses. Popo licked his lips a bit to avoid getting them to dry.
Master Hand looked at every single Smasher staring at Popo as snow fell outside on the fields.
Some of the Smashers began to tap their feet on the floor, waiting for the detective Ice Climber to say something. Albeit to say, the repetitive trembling sounds made the Fire type dragon of the trainer get very impatient.
"...For the love of Arceus, don't make more suspense!" Charizard complained as he stomped the floor with a foot. "Just say the name already!"
Popo looked annoyed. "Hey, I need to create the suspense here. It would look boring just to say the name like any other previous name I said before. That's how awesome detective are by creating this air of uncertainty, anyway."
Nana grunted. "Popo, forget about what detectives do for atmospheres and just get to the point!"
"Fine, party poopers," Popo said annoyed. "Our final suspect is the boss of bosses himself: Master Hand."
The Smashers quickly stared at the Hand of Creation. "Hey, hold on right there," Master Hand began, "why am I one of the suspects here? What is making you think the sponsor of the tournament is the one behind all this?"
"Once I get to interrogate you, through your invisible eyes, you'll see why," Popo said. "So deal or no deal, what do you choose, Master Hand?"
Master Hand sighed and frowned. "Oh boy... Whatever, just go on ahead with the suspects..."
"Thank you," Popo said before clearing his throat. "Okay, it's time to move on to the interrogations," he said as he blew air into his pipe, bubbles coming out from the hole to pop in the air. "When I call someone here to the Chair of Truth and Embarrassment, I'll ask the others some questions about the suspect so we can find out if he or she is the one behind all this."
"...Wait a minute, there aren't any girls in the suspects," Marth said.
Popo lifted his shoulders. "Maybe some of them are girls. I've heard many people change genders when they're born."
"...What kind of stupid fact is that?" Link asked.
Yoshi looked bored at him. "Where did you hear that from?"
"Internet," Popo responded, "more specifically the spawn of devil artists we like to call..."
The Smashers stared at him.
"...DeviantArt," Popo finished.
Many of the Smashers either frowned or slapped their foreheads at this.
"Anyhow, let's call the first suspect here," Popo said. "Olimar, you're the first one."
Olimar's eyes snapped open in shock before he began to walk shyly to the chair. Once he reached it, Olimar jumped to it and sat down, his gloved fingers touching each other as a sign of his preoccupation.
"Feeling embarrassed now?" Popo asked as he folded his arms behind his back. "Such is the effect of the Chair of Truth and Embarrassment, Olimar."
"U-um...c-can we move on?" Olimar asked worried. "I-I'd like to finish this before we keep up with it during the whole day..."
"Well, just let me do the interrogation here, okay?" Popo asked.
"...O-okay..." Olimar nodded, "I-I'll let you do that part..."
"Yeah, and then we'll punish you with whatever we want to use on you, okay?"
"Okay..." Olimar said. "...W-what?!"
"Ahem," Popo interrupted, "without further ado, let's begin this."
"O-oh boy," Olimar said. "I-I hope it's not me..."
Popo quickly stared at him. "Don't confuse yourself and let's begin," he began as he pointed his pipe at Olimar. "State your name and the place where you live."
"W-why? I thought everyone already knew m-"
"STATE YOUR NAME!"
"C-Captain Olimar from Hocotate!" Olimar responded in shock, the Smashers looking at each other confused at Popo's sudden outburst of anger.
Popo nodded and walked around the chair. "Okay, Captain Olimar from Hocotate, I'll have you known that you're one of the suspects who possibly stole the presents in THIS very same day, right?"
Olimar covered his helmet and frowned. "I-I didn't do it...I-I swear it for my wife and children!"
Popo stopped walking in front of Olimar. "You swear it for your children... Hmm... You just gave out an important clue to your true nature..."
Popo turned to the Smashers. "Fortunately, I'll let someone else think why your children are so important to bring up... C. Falcon...."
"What?" C. Falcon asked.
"I want you to deduce why Olimar's children are so important," Popo said. "Are they crucial to this?"
"Well..." C. Falcon scratched the back of his throat. "He...well...stole the gifts to give them to his children?"
Popo nodded. "Correct," he pointed at Olimar, "Olimar stole the gifts just because he wanted to take revenge on Master Hand for forcing Olimar to stay here with us and not celebrate Christmas with his family in his planet full of Smurfs!"
Olimar's eyes snapped open. "N-no! Y-you got it all wrong!"
"How?!" Popo asked as he pointed at Olimar. "How am I wrong?! You wanted to do this from the very beginning! It makes so much sense you wanted to take revenge by stealing poor Lucas's gifts!"
"Y-yes!" Lucas yelled. "...Hey, why is it just me?"
"N-no, I wouldn't do such a thing!" Olimar defended himself, his hands joining. "B-besides, everyone here gives really dangerous gifts to each one! H-have you seen the time during the previous Christmas where Link gave Ganondorf a running Bomchu?"
"That's one of the reasons why those guys are away from here," Link said. "It was just a prank..."
Popo kept staring at Olimar. "...So, are you sure you didn't do it?"
Olimar shook his head and looked down. "I-I didn't do it...really..."
"..." Popo silently nodded. "...You're dismissed."
Olimar looked surprised at him. "A-am I dismissed?"
"Yes," Popo said, "it's clear to see that you'd be beaten up to death if you were to steal DK's gift, which for some reason or another is always bananas. If you stole the gifts...you could be pretty much dead."
DK shifted his eyes in a suspicious manner. "Nobody steals my bananas and runs away alive...nobody..."
The Smashers looked at each other shocked and silently backed away from the psychopath ape.
Popo motioned at the group. "Okay, you can go now."
"P-phew..." Olimar sighed as he hopped down the floor and walked back to the Smashers. "I-I don't steal gifts. Nobody here gives good children gifts anyway..."
The detective Ice Climber looked at C. Falcon. "Mr. Iron Nipples Man, you're next."
Many of the Smashers began to chuckle silently at this while the Iron Nipples Ma-I mean, C. Falcon sulked a bit and walked to the chair where he sat down and crossed his arms and legs.
"State your name and the place you come from," Popo said in a serious manner.
"I'm Captain Falcon from Port Town."
C. Falcon glared down at him. "What?"
"You're Captain Douglas Jay Falcon," Popo said.
"Hah hah hah hah hah hah!" Pikachu laughed. "You last name is Jay!"
C. Falcon began to sweat a bit as some of the Smashers began to laugh silently at him. In truth, nobody knew his real name, and he wouldn't want someone to know about it. The racer looked down at Popo. "T-that's not my real name!" he muttered through gritted teeth.
"Look, Mr. Iron Nipples Captain Douglas Jay Falcon," Popo began, "I know very well that's your name. How do I know that? Wikipedia is the best source for information."
C. Falcon groaned. "T-that site can be edited by anyone! T-that's not my real name!"
"We can keep arguing how messed up the site is or better yet," Popo said, adjusting his glasses, "we can see why you stole the presents."
The racer rolled his triangle-shaped eyes. "For the love of..."
"You stole the presents because you have an inner child."
"The hell?" C. Falcon said confused.
"Dude, just look at yourself," Popo said. "Who the hell wears a superhero costume during all our matches other than yourself? Only big children do that."
"T-this is my usual attire! H-how is my clothing childish?"
"Sure it is childish," Popo said amused. "Heck, you know what else is childish? It's childish to yell out your attacks. Only an idiot yells out names during their attacks."
"Hey!" Falco yelled. "I just yell fire!"
"Did I even say names?"
C. Falcon pointed at Popo. "I didn't steal the gifts!"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Popo said. "C. Falcon, are you sure you didn't steal the gifts? You have the contrary details crushing your back."
"I did NOT steal any gifts," C. Falcon said annoyed. "Can you stop this now so I can do my business?"
"Would that business be running to your room and run away with the gifts?"
Popo frowned. "Fine, fine, you're dismissed, Mr. Iron Nipples Captain Douglas Jay Falcon."
"STOP CALLING ME LIKE THAT! That's not my real name!"
"I said dismissed, Mr. Iron Nipples Captain Douglas Jay Falcon," Popo repeated in a serious tone.
C. Falcon grunted annoyed, stood up, shot a glare at Popo, and walked away to the group where he stood next to Roy.
Roy slowly walked closer to C. Falcon. "...So...can I call you Doug?"
"...Shut the hell up," C. Falcon muttered without looking at him.
Popo cleared his throat by coughing and he looked at Sonic. "Sonic, you're up next."
In an instant, the hedgehog was seen sitting on the chair with crossed legs and folded arms behind his quills. "Ready for this to get over with," Sonic said.
"Good, good," Popo said. "State your name and the place you came from."
"Sonic the Hedgehog from Mobius," Sonic said with a grin.
"Okay," Popo said. "Sonic, you've been called here because you're a suspect for this crime."
"Tell me something I dunno..." Sonic said bored.
"Well, maybe you don't know, but you stole the gifts."
"Sure, sure..." Sonic said more bored. "Why is it me, though?"
"Simple," Popo began, "you have the necessary speed to grab all the gifts in less than 5 seconds and take them away somewhere else."
"Pfft, I know I can do it even faster than that."
"Show-off," most of the Smashers said annoyed.
Sonic closed his eyes, his grin getting wider. "You guys are just jealous."
"Sure, we're jealous because you have all our gifts," Popo said.
Sonic glared at Popo. "I didn't steal any of your gifts."
"Dude, you could have easily stolen every single box during Christmas Eve's night," Popo said. "Why, nobody could catch up with your speed. I think Lucario can with ExtremeSpeed, but the guy is not here. Mr. Weird Thighs aside, Sonic, you stole the gifts because you hate everyone here."
"I don't hate everyone here," Sonic said. "What makes you think that?"
"Your face," Popo said, "a lot can be explained through your face's look. I always see you glaring at anyone you look at...and let's just say when you give an honest smile, it does look very terrifying..."
Pichu shivered. "(I-I don't like to look at him...)"
Sonic rolled his eyes. "Don't you have another good reason to blame this on me?"
"Oh yeah, I do," Popo said. "Sonic, you know how everyone gets many clothes as gifts, right?"
"Yeah, what's it about everyone and clothes?"
"Don't you wear clothes?"
"Yeah, I wear clothes."
"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but...you're naked in plain snowy day."
Sonic's pupils widened as he looked at himself. Peach gasped loudly and covered her eyes. "O-oh my, I-I haven't noticed he i-"
"H-hold on a sec!" Sonic yelled while reddening, "a-are you thinking I stole the gifts because I'm naked? ...I-I mean, I-I'm not naked at all!"
Popo put his hands on his robe's pockets. "You're just wearing shoes. Anything else above them is as visible as Diddy's navel."
Diddy silently covered his navel by pulling down his shirt.
"In a few words, you're a suspect because you need clothes...badly," Popo said. "I mean, who goes as far as to stay like you during this cold?"
"L-look," Sonic began as he looked embarrassed, "I-I don't need clothes because I stick very close to the chimney..."
Everyone stared at Sonic with disgusted looks, the hedgehog looking defeated.
"...So...you are naked..." Popo trailed off. "That's it, then. Master Hand, can you give this guy some clothes before I puke?"
"H-hey!" Sonic yelled.
"Sure do," Master Hand said as he snapped his fingers to make some blue jeans and white T-shirt appear on the hedgehog's body. "Phew, that solves the problem..."
Sonic shrugged a bit at the clothes. Once Popo noticed how Sonic shrugged, the detective Ice Climber stifled a chuckle. "Feeling weird because you're wearing clothes?"
"S-shut up..." Sonic muttered.
"So, are you sure you're not the thief?"
"No!" Sonic yelled annoyed. "I didn't steal anything because I never fall so low! I'll let you know I've saved the world a couple of times!"
"Justifying your status as a hero doesn't mean you're excused of this, Sonic."
"Out of my sight," Popo said. "You're dismissed."
Sonic rolled his eyes as he hopped down the chair and walked back to the group. Popo raised an eyebrow and lifted up his sunglasses to look amused at Sonic's quills making holes behind his shirt. The detective Ice Climber folded his arms behind his back and looked at DK. "DK, you're up next."
DK gulped and began to walk to the chair. Instead of sitting on it, he sat down on the floor.
"Ah, nice move," Popo remarked. "You would easily crush the Chair of Truth and Embarrassment."
DK looked pleased.
"State your name and the place you came from."
"Donkey Kong from Kongo Jungle," DK said.
Popo nodded. "Since I lack knowledge about you, I'll have to ask Diddy some questions since you form the oddest pair in this place: uncle-nephew relationship."
"Hey, I don't see what's wrong wit-"
"Diddy, come over here!" Popo interrupted.
The chimpanzee blinked in shock as he walked to DK and Popo. The Kong looked at the chair and saw down on it, his legs crossing under him.
"Diddy Kong, right?" Popo asked.
Diddy looked bored. "You already know my name."
"What if you're hiding your true name?"
"Just get to the damn point already!" Charizard yelled.
Popo rolled his eyes. "As impatient as ever... Anyway," he began as he looked at Diddy, "Diddy, how long have you known DK?"
Diddy rubbed his chin. "I've known DK a pretty long time, actually. We've been friends ever since I was 2."
"Hmm, interesting," Popo said. "Has he ever...you know...wanted something from you oh so badly that you didn't want to give him?"
Diddy looked confused. "N-not that I'm aware of..."
Popo looked amused at DK. "Do you like..." he pointed his pipe at DK, "...bananas?"
DK nodded. "Yep, they're tasty."
"A-ha," Popo said. "Doesn't Diddy give you bananas as Christmas gift?"
"Yep," DK said, Diddy smiling happily. "That's the best gift he gives me."
Samus frowned. "You 2 are always thinking about bananas..." she muttered.
"And... Are you hungry, DK?" Popo asked with some amusement. "Are you hungry right now?"
At that moment, DK's stomach grumbled loud enough to make a big echo in the room. The Smashers looked disgusted at him as he blushed a bit and showed them his teeth a bit. "A-a little..." DK responded embarrassed.
"Your bare stomach contradicts your statement," Popo said. "Do you want to...eat bananas?"
DK couldn't help but nod a few times. "Yeah..."
"..." Popo nodded and looked at the Smashers. "DK here is very suspicious, you guys."
Diddy blinked in shock at this. "H-hey, why are you blaming DK here? H-he wouldn't do something like this!"
"Wouldn't he?" Popo asked as he raised an eyebrow. "Diddy, you're giving him bananas this year again, right?"
"And he's VERY hungry right now, right?"
"And he surely wants to eat something right now, correct?"
"Y-yes..." DK admitted.
"So then," Popo turned to Diddy, "he really wants to eat something. He's dirty enough to throw banana peels on the floor. I know that because Mario here broke a leg 5 months ago due to a banana peel on the first step of the stairs to the second floor."
Mario looked away. "And my right leg still hurts a bit..." he muttered.
"Assuming he's very hungry, he could have stolen all the gifts to look for the one that has the bananas," Popo said. "And assuming he's giving you bananas as well, he could have had second thoughts and grab the present so he could eat it all for himself."
DK looked worried at this.
"B-but wait a second, please!" Diddy interrupted. "I-if he wanted to do that, why would he go so far as to steal EVERYONE else's gifts? Everyone doesn't give bananas as gifts like we do!"
Popo thought for a moment. "Hmm, you have a good point there, Diddy... You both are so messed up to give food as gifts, anyway..."
Diddy looked annoyed at this. "Popo..."
"Face the truth, monkey boy.
DK sighed and stood up. "C-can I leave?"
"..." Popo took a closer look at DK's sweating face. "..."
"..." DK's eyes shook.
"..." DK gulped.
"..." DK shifted his eyes.
"..." DK began to sweat more.
"..." DK's lips began to shake a bit.
"..." DK began to shake in fear.
"..." DK couldn't see Popo's eyes through the sunglasses.
"...I-I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SAY SOMETHING!" DK yelled in panic.
"...Tsk," Popo muttered. "Fine, you can leave now."
DK began to sniff and shed some tears before Diddy hopped down the chair and walked to him. As Diddy patted DK's back, both walked back to the group of Smashers.
"I have to admit that was some intense detective moment," Popo said pleased. "Next up is the briefs boy, Pit."
Pit blushed a bit. "C-can you stop calling me that?"
"Well, I'll probably do that once you sit down on the chair, briefs boy," Popo said.
Pit sighed in embarrassment as he walked to the chair and saw down on it. The detective Ice Climber began to walk around him to inspect Pit a bit. Once Popo did two laps, he stopped right in front of Pit. "State your name and where you came from."
"Pit from Skyworld," Pit said.
"...That's it? No last names?" Popo asked before frowning. "You have my condolences, Pit. Living without a last name must have been so painful for you."
"What?" Pit said confused.
"I don't have a last name myself," Popo said. "Poor Nana here doesn't have one either. Most of us don't have last names... You have my empathy, my boy."
"..." Pit blinked a bit. "...Thanks...I guess?"
Popo nodded, a small tear running down his right cheek. "Anyhow, let's get your show on the road," he said. "Pit, you've been accused for stealing our Christmas gifts during the very same day of Christmas. What do you have to say in your defense?"
"I-I know that I didn't do such an outrageous thing," Pit vowed as he raised a hand. "I'm an angel of peace as well."
"Sure you are," Popo said with sarcasm. "Being an angel of peace gives you a perfect alibi, right? Well, not when Sherlock Popo Holmes is on the case, briefs boy."
Pit shook his head in surprise and looked at Popo. "Sherlock Popo Holmes?"
"Is something wrong about my alter-ego's name?"
"N-no sir..." Pit said. "...Wait, you're not even a-"
"You stole the presents," Sherlock Popo Holmes interrupted, "right, Pit?"
"N-no!" Pit yelled. "I-I'm not the bad guy here!"
"We'll see in a bit," Popo said before looking at the group of Smashers. "Any of you guys know Pit?"
Mario raised his hand. "I know Pit."
"Good," Popo said. "What can you say about Pit, Mario?"
"Well, Pit's a good Smasher," Mario said. "Ever since he first came here, Pit has been very politely to everyone. I've been watching over him all this time, and I have to say that he's a very respectful Smasher."
Pit smiled a bit at this. "Mr. Mario..."
Popo nodded. "It's been 2 years since he came here, right?"
"Definitely," Mario said. "He didn't steal any gifts during the past Christmas season."
"Hmm..." Popo crossed his arms, "in a few words, briefs boy here is very respectful..."
Pit blushed a bit. "C-can you please stop calling me that?"
"Tell you what," Popo began as he turned around to look up at him, "if you wear some pants, I'll stop calling you that."
"...I'll take your silence as a sign of a yes," Popo said with a nod. "Pit, correct me if I'm wrong, but a person surely has done something very unforgivable during their lives," he said. "Nobody's an exception, Pit. Are you sure that you have a clean past?"
Pit thought for a moment while looking worried. "W-well, I don't have any..." he admitted.
"Not even, let's say, steal Christmas gifts?"
"No!" Pit yelled. "I-I like Christmas so much! I-I even like to give gifts to anyone I meet here! I-I also even went as far as to get presents for everyone here!"
"Awwwwwwwww..." Peach, Kirby, Jigglypuff, and Lucas said in unison.
Popo stared at Pit. "...Are you sure of that?"
"I-I even bought you one..." Pit said.
Popo's lips began to shake like a wave as he shed some tears. He sobbed a bit at this and removed his sunglasses to wipe out the tears on his eyes before putting them back. "Y-you're dismissed, Pit..." Popo muttered. "G-go, my briefs boy; go give presents to everyone...and me..."
Pit looked a bit embarrassed and hopped off the chair to walk back to the group. Kirby looked away before he leaped to Pit to give him a warm hug, the angel hugging him back.
Popo sniffed a bit before returning to his serious self. "Well, people, we still have 3 more, and we will find out the thief behind this outrageous crime," he said as he folded his arms. "Now, let's continue with our seventh subject: R.O.B."
Fox looked confused. "Weird, I thought it was my turn."
"Oh, oh, right," Popo said. "Fox, come over here. Sorry for skipping you."
Fox cursed in his mind after he mindlessly reminded Popo that he was a suspect. The vulpine rolled his eyes at this and walked all the way to the chair where he sat down and crossed his arms.
"So," Popo began, "state your name and the place where you came from."
"I don't see why I need to say those things because you alread-"
"STATE YOUR NAME OR I'LL CASTRATE YOU ALIVE WITH MY HAMMER!" Popo suddenly yelled as he took out his hammer and spun it a bit.
"You can't even do that," Fox said bored.
"I can if I BANG this on you-ahem," Popo coughed as he stopped spinning his hammer and kept it away behind his back. "Geez, you make such a big racket over something so small," Popo complained, Fox rolling his eyes at this. "Let's get on with this so you can to jail, okay?"
"I'm not going to jail for something I didn't even do in the first place," Fox said with a glare.
"State your name already," Popo yelled, "or you'll be castrated!"
"...Fox McCloud from Corneria," Fox said annoyed. "Are you happy now?"
"Not so much," Popo said, "heck, you forgot to add your other name."
"What other name is that?" Fox asked confused.
Fox had enough of the whole nonsense of his face and aimed his Blaster at Popo's face, the vulpine's eyes widening so much to the point they looked threatening. "Dude, what are you doing now?" Popo asked.
"I'm doing something I should have done ever since you came in here," Fox said as he panted heavily. "That something is BLOWING your head off!"
"Okay, okay," Popo moved his hands forward at Fox's Blaster, "relax, Fox, relax. You have to control your temper today. You haven't been this pissed ever since the day I accidentally drove your Arwing and crashed it on the nearby mountain to the west, and you didn't even know, but hey, I survived through that so that's a big relief for us, right?"
There was a dead silence between all the Smashers, the vulpine starting to get even angrier than before as his eyes reflected Popo's grave.
"...I said too much, didn't I?" Popo asked, blowing some air into his pipe to let bubbles appear out from it.
"You...you were the one who crashed it, then?!" Fox asked enraged.
"Uh-oh," Popo muttered before he clapped his hands together. "We have a severe case of angry vulpine today. Falco, restrain him before he gets more rabies. His face indicates he's getting even shadier than before as well."
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Fox yelled angrily before Falco rushed at him and tackled him down to the floor, with everything and chair as well. Fox let go of the Blaster that rolled all the way to the door while Falco grabbed Fox on the floor by grabbing his arms with both of Falco's arms, making Fox look like he was being grabbed on the wall. "Let me go!" he demanded to Falco as the vulpine flailed his hands. "Let me go and rip his little head off, Falco! This is a direct order from your leader!"
"F-Fox, you're really out of it today!" Falco yelled as Fox tried to get off his arms. "C-calm down, Fox, dammit!"
"...Ugh," Popo grunted a bit at this as he walked to the struggling Fox and pointed at the group of Smashers. "Falco, do me a favor and take this innocent man away from my sight."
At this sudden order, Fox stopped his fit of rage and blinked normally, Falco doing the same thing. "Say what? I'm...pardoned?"
"Of course you're pardoned," Popo said. "Who would steal gifts with that temper of yours? Fox, I give that you look way shadier than Sonic and Ganondorf's faces combined, and that if C. Falcon and Samus were to marry together, which is something very unlikely, you would be the baby."
Fox glared up at Popo while Samus looked away from a pleased C. Falcon.
"We all know now you'd steal all my gifts since you look like you have some sort of grudge against me for something I did. Too bad I can't seem to remember what that was."
"You piloted and destroyed my Arwing without my permission…" said Fox through gritted fangs.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that, Fox. You'll have to wait until I get a credit card to buy the materials for your Arwing," Popo said as he took out a little card from the pocket of his robe and tossed it on Fox's face. "Here you go."
"What is this?" Fox asked under the card. "...Falco, can you show it to me?"
"No can do," Falco said. "I let go of your arms, you'll maul Popo alive."
"I-I wasn't even thinking about that!" Fox yelled annoyed. "(That doesn't too badly, actually...)" he thought.
"I'll tell you what it is," Popo said. "That's a card with a phone number so you call an expert surgeon of plastic surgery for faces. Once you get a date for the operation, I'll be there to see your shadiness go away. You'll be so happy, I assure you."
"GRRRRRRRR!!!" Fox lost his cool and bit the card continuously to shred it into pieces that scattered around his face. Some of the Smashers looked a bit scared at this while some shook in fear (mostly Lucas).
Popo rolled his eyes at this barbaric display before he took out another card and tossed it at Falco's left side. "Give that card to Fox once he calms down, okay?"
Falco lifted up his head to look at the card. "This is...a card for a psychologist?"
"Yeah, just look at Fox," Popo said as he looked at Fox's pissed look. "He's getting the rabies for sure. But I think he's has anger issues more than the rabies. Did he get a vaccine yet, though?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Fox yelled as he tried to get off from Falco's arms.
"Keep going like that and I'll set a date with a vet instead," Popo said. "Guys, help Falco carry Fox back to the group. He needs some discipline…badly."
Link, Marth, Roy, and Ike ran to the two Star Fox members and grabbed Fox by his legs and arms. The vulpine struggled to get off before they all dragged him all the way back to the group, the leader of Star Fox wishing to kill Popo very soon.
Popo wiped his forehead's sweat off with his left arm. "Talk about people with quite the temper," he remarked as the swordsmen and Falco tried to restrain Fox from resorting to brutal violence on him. "Our seventh suspect is R.O.B."
R.O.B., who stared down in shame at the enraged vulpine, looked back at Popo before the robot rolled his lower wheels to reach the chair. Once he got there, ROB looked at Popo. "I'm sorry, but I can't sit on this."
"Oh well, it still works, I guess," Popo said. "State your name and the place where you came."
"Robotic Operation Buddy from...well..."
Popo raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Well...I...have yet to know..." ROB admitted before looking down. "Sorry for my lack of knowledge about my origins..."
"...Oh brother," Popo said annoyed. "I guess I'll let that detail slip by for now. However, we must get to the bottom of this."
R.O.B. closed his eyes. "I'll let you know that your basis of a movie won't have any effect on me since I'm not the culprit of this crime."
"True," Popo admitted. "You can leave now."
Every single Smasher looked confused at the brief interrogation (even Fox stopped his fit of rage and lifted up his head to look at them). R.O.B. himself opened his eyes and looked down at Popo, the robot giving a small hint of surprise by the look of his squared face. "That's...it?" ROB asked. "The interrogation for me has ended?"
"Oh yeah," Popo said. "After I went over the facts, you don't have any criminal details to look into. You're dismissed from being the real thief, R.O.B."
"...Oh..." R.O.B. said. "I...guess that is understandable..." he trailed off before he rolled his wheels to the group. "I have to say that my interrogation was very weird..."
"..." Popo narrowed his eyes at R.O.B's thin back of metal. "...Hold on right there."
R.O.B. stopped going towards the Smashers and he twisted his head to look back at Popo. "Is something wrong for you?" he asked.
Most of the Smashers rolled their eyes at this.
"In fact, it was so brief that it did look very suspicious..." Popo said as he rubbed his chin a bit. "R.O.B., you still need to get through this."
R.O.B. shook his head to the sides. "And here I thought that was all..." he muttered.
"R.O.B., the reason you're a suspect behind this crime is because..."
R.O.B. nodded his head. "I'm prepared to say anything for my defense. I have anything to protect myself from this false accusation. For that matter, I'm not scared nor worried about this foolish crime. If you do have something, I'll only say the truth and the truth only. I'm one of the most honest people who live here in the Smash Mansion."
Popo kept staring at R.O.B. while the detective Ice Climber folded his arms behind his back.
"You're very remarkable, Popo," R.O.B. remarked. "It does look like you have what it takes to be a real detective. The way you are looking at me behind those sunglasses makes me think you did well to study to be an expert detective. You have my respect, Popo. I hope you can do your best to find the real culprit here."
Mr. Game & Watch wiped off his 2-D tears with his arm. "R.O.B...you're so...honest..."
R.O.B. closed his eyes and nodded. "Please, Popo, I know you can find out the real thief behind all this commotion. I believe in your skills, Popo. I believe that you are the only one wh-"
"Geez, why do you have to be so dramatic?" Popo interrupted with some irritation. "You're not the culprit, R.O.B. You can leave."
The robot opened his eyes and blinked them a bit. "...I'm not the thief?"
"Duh, that's what I said."
"But..." Popo raised a finger, "I do have something else to say to you."
"What would that be?"
"There was something very wrong with you," Popo said. "My mind was focused into finding the thief that I ignored that you were leaking your oil on the floor all this time along."
"..." R.O.B. looked down at his 'feet' to find out that there was a long trail of oil going across the red mattress he rolled on. The robot gasped and looked at his right claw to see a small red bar that blinked several times as a sign that his oil was about to empty itself.
"You'll have to clean that up after yourself," Popo said.
"Eww..." muttered Pikachu as he looked down and saw his feet stepping on the oil. "What if this oil turns out to be something gross that came out of him?"
Although everyone looked calm after finding out that they were stepping on oil...let's just say R.O.B. didn't take this very well as everyone else did.
"MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY! DANGER, DANGER, DANGER! LEAKED OIL SOON WILL CAUSE TOTAL SHUTDOWN ON MY SYSTEMS!" R.O.B. panicked as he grabbed his head and began to spin the parts of his body in a crazy manner. "REPEAT! MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY! DANGER, DANGER, DANGER! LEAKED OIL SOON WILL CAUSE TOTAL SHUTDOWN ON MY SYSTEMS!
"O-oh my god, he's crazy!" Red (the trainer) yelled as most of the Smashers took some steps away from the crazy robot.
"Somebody do something!" Zelda yelled. "He is starting to scare me!"
The scene looked very crazy as R.O.B. spun his arms, torso, waist, head, and even his eyes. The Smashers watched as oil began to leak out from every single small opening in the robot. This, and the fact R.O.B. was spinning every single part of his body, caused a lot of oil to be spilled all over the place. Not only this was spilled all over the place, but it also reached all the Smashers.
"Oh my Din, stop him!" Toon Link yelled as he covered his face with his arms. "He's getting out of control!"
R.O.B's eyes began to flash red. "SYSTEMS ABOUT TO TOTAL SHUTDOWN IN 5...4...3...2...1..."
And then, before their oil-covered eyes, R.O.B. inexplicably exploded into many pieces of his body parts. Unlike most explosions, the robot merely was torn apart into many pieces that fell all over the place. The Smashers looked very shocked to see that the only thing that was spared from the robot was his body's base that allowed him to move.
It should have been said that the explosion had much more oil than before. This meant they were all covered by even more oil.
"...Did R.O.B. just...die?" Pichu asked shocked.
"I-I think he just died..." Lucas said before R.O.B's head fell on his feet. The Nowhere Island habitant stared at the head before his eyes rolled back, and he fainted on the floor, making a small splash of oil thanks to his own head.
"..." Popo removed his sunglasses for his unaffected eyes to blink a bit at the scene. "Ouch, he exploded because he had little oil left..."
"You call all this mess little oil?" Samus asked as he wiped some oil off her arm cannon with a rag. "It covered every single one of us."
Master Hand (totally covered in oil) sighed and frowned. "I'll have to hire a engineer to repair R.O.B. so he comes back..." he muttered. "You guys will have to keep any body part safe until I get to call an engineer for R.O.B., okay?" He snapped his fingers to make the oil shine and disappear instantly from everything it reached.
Popo nodded. "Right," he said. "It's time for Master Hand to be the last one to be interrogated here."
The hand sighed and floated over the chair. "Well, this is going to end very soon," the hand said. "I just need Popo to finish with me, and then we'll try to do something else to celebrate Christmas."
"We'll see, body-less hand," Popo said. "State your name and the place you came from."
"Master Hand from the Smash Bros. Universe," Master Hand said.
"Nice, nice," Popo said, nodding several times. "Are you sure you're not the thief?"
"Why would I steal the presents?" Master Hand asked confused. "I have almost everything in my possession. I don't need presents unless someone wants to give me something."
"I have a gift for you," Peach said. "...Or...had one..."
"Aah, thanks," Master Hand said. "But in any case, I didn't steal any gifts. I'm the one who held this event for you guys to socialize more with each other."
"And this very same event is the same event where all our presents disappeared," Popo reminded the hand. "And since it's your event, you surely had something to do with this."
"Nope," Master Hand said. "I'm just the host."
"Wouldn't you say the host and thief?"
Master Hand shook himself. "I'm only the host, but not the thief."
"..." Popo began to knock his forehead a bit with his fist. "C'mon, there was something that I wanted to ask you..."
The hand 'looked' a bit miffed and looked back at Popo. "Popo...are you sure you didn't pick suspects at random?"
"Of course not," Popo said. "I already stated why all suspects could have been the culprit of this."
"Then what's my reason to be a suspect?"
"..." Popo began to walk around the chair, arms folded behind his back. "I guess it's because you're the host of this event...but then again...I could be wrong..." He stopped walking and looked up to the ceiling. "But of course!" he said before turning to the hand. "Master Hand, I know for a fact you're not the culprit of this."
Master Hand sighed. "I told you before, didn't I?"
"However, there was something else I just remembered now," Popo began, "and that is about the security system of the mansion."
"The...security system..." Mario trailed off. "...The security system has cameras, right? Aren't they on all the time?"
Samus grunted. "Oh yeah, I remember a security camera being in my bathroom."
"Whoops," said Master Hand. "I put that one there by accident."
"I hope it was only meant for security and not something else..."
"W-well, back with the security system, we do have cameras placed all over the mansion," Master Hand said. "Actually...if we take a look at the time where the gifts were taken, we could easily find out who the thief is..."
"There's a little problem with that," Popo began, "after I recalled what I told you...I looked up to the ceiling to see something much...unexpected about the cameras of the lobby..."
"What would that..." Master Hand looked up, "...oh no..."
All the Smashers looked up to the corners of the ceilings where they found the security cameras broken apart. They all gasped as they also found out that the cables to each camera were all cut apart.
"Hey, what's the meaning of this?" Master Hand asked as he went to see each camera. "This place is way too high for someone to climb up and destroy the cameras!" he complained. "I mean, who would go so far as to do this just to steal some gifts?"
"My guess is that the thief wanted to have something very important from the presents," Popo said. "There are people here who like to give...very unusual things as gifts to others..." He blew air into his pipe to push out some bubbles. "Okay, this sure has become even harder than before."
"I know," Yoshi said. "The thief went so far with this..."
"And because he or she went too far, that means anyone else I didn't call here is a potential suspect," Popo said.
"What?" Nana asked. "Popo, you're going a little bit too far with this whole nonsense about the detective thing!"
"Hey, detectives are cool," Popo said. "I'm glad this mysterious crime happened to take place right after I finished my detective training session."
Nana grunted and frowned. "Oh brother, this is going to keep going on forever if we don't find the thief!" she yelled. "You've got to have something in mind, haven't you?"
Popo nodded. "If it's necessary, we'll go all day long until we find the culprit," he said. "You know what this means? This means I'll have to interrogate everyone here."
Marth put a hand on his forehead and frowned. "If only there was a faster way to find out the culprit before the day ends..."
"Well, one thing we know for sure is that the people who left the mansion didn't do it. They left here 2 weeks ago," Popo said. "Now, everyone needs to do as I say and we will wrap this up very soon."
Not sooner Popo said that, one of the double doors of the mansion opened up. The Smashers looked at the right door opening as it let some snow get in. However, nobody seemed to enter at all.
"T-the Christmas spirit of the past!" Luigi screamed. "H-he's here to take me to the past and see my old friends I haven't seen ever since!"
"This isn't 'A Christmas Carol', Luigi," Mario said.
Luigi's statement proved to be wrong as a figure did step inside the lobby. The figure closed the door and looked at them with a bored look.
"...Oh, it's just you, Lucario," Pikachu said.
The Aura Pokémon, who was wearing a blue scarf around his neck, looked at everyone. "Hello," he greeted uninterested. "I guess everyone here is celebrating Christmas, right?"
"Sort of..." Toon Link said. "You see, all our gifts were...stolen from us..."
Popo raised an eyebrow at Lucario. "Are you the thief?"
Lucario shook his head. "I just got here and you're blaming me for something I didn't even do?"
"Hmm..." Popo rubbed his chin a bit as he stared at Lucario. "Who knows, it's weird to see you here today. I thought you were celebrating Christmas alone."
Lucario glared at him. "I do happen to have my own trainer," he said. "I like to stay with him during these special occasions rather than staying here with the bunch of people of this place."
"Geez, thanks for the compliment..." joked Roy.
"Anyway," Lucario began annoyed, "I'm here to retrieve a present I wanted to give my trainer that I accidentally forgot here...and..."
The Aura Pokémon didn't want to ask why there were R.O.B's parts scattered all over the floor. Lucario closed his eyes and frowned at this, thinking that this surely happened because of a stupid event that had to do with everyone.
"...And I want it," Lucario finished, ignoring a red claw close to his left foot. "Where are the gifts?"
"Our gifts are somewhere..." Squirtle said. "We think there was a thief here..."
"There is a thief among us?" Lucario asked. "Have you found the thief yet?"
"We're doing progress," Popo said. "Thankfully, my detective skills will soon find this little cockroach before the day ends so we can all enjoy Christmas."
"I...see..." Lucario said as he examined Popo's detective clothes. "...But seriously, I want my trainer's gift now. I want to give him my present before the day ends."
"Well, wait until I find the thief," Popo said. "You want to stick around?"
"I'd prefer be far away from here," Lucario said.
"...Too bad," Popo said. "Now, sit down and wait for me to get done wit-"
"Wait just a minute," interrupted Diddy. "Lucario, can't you read minds?"
"As a matter of fact, I do," Lucario said. "Why'd you ask that?"
"Well, since you can read minds...maybe...you could find out the thief much faster than Popo's doing right now?"
Popo rolled his eyes. "If he does that, this is going to take away all the fun in doing the detective way to find a culprit."
Lucario frowned at this. "And I'd rather finish this whole nonsense so I can get my present," he said before his eyes glowed yellow while the appendages from his back levitated a bit. The Aura Pokémon began to examine everyone in the place, his yellow eyes locking on their eyes. "Let's see..." he muttered.
Popo sighed annoyed. "You guys seriously want to finish everything so soon, I swear..." He looked at Lucario. "Well, have you found the thief yet? If you can't, then that means we're going to do what I was doing a moment ago."
Lucario focused his eyes to Popo's eyes.
"Hey, don't stare me with those creepy eyes of yours," Popo said. "What if your eyes are radioactive? I need my eyes to see suspects and find a culprit."
"How ironic you say that," Lucario said.
"I know, right?" Popo asked with a chuckle. "Okay, since you guys are no fun, let the dog find out the thief of this mess. It's clear you don't need me."
Lucario pointed at Popo.
Popo crossed his arms at Lucario. "Want me to shake your hand or what?"
"No," Lucario said. "I'm just pointing at the thief who stole all the gifts here."
"Oh, I see," Popo said with a few nods before looking at the Smashers. "Okay, Lucario's found the perpetrator of this crime. Somebody give him a medal for finding me."
There was a silence that the detective Ice Climber didn't expect to come. Popo found out that the Smashers were all staring at him either with pissed, surprised, or bored looks in a mixture of all three together.
"..." Popo's sunglasses fell off a bit. "...Crud..." he muttered.
Nana tightened her fists on the sides of her hips. "Popo..."
"...Don't tell me that the thief here is you...and that you've been fooling us ever since you started this whole nonsense about the detective thing…"
"..." Popo lifted his shoulders a bit. "Fine, I won't tell you."
"What? You told me not to tell you, didn't you?" Popo asked annoyed.
"What?!" Master Hand (who was still high up on the ceiling) said in pure disbelief before he came down and looked down at Popo. "Popo, are you the thief here?"
"..." Popo removed his sunglasses and nodded. "Yes, I am the thief here."
"B-but then... Why did you do this, Popo?" Luigi asked. "W-why would you steal all the gifts? Y-you looked so innocent!"
Popo closed his eyes. "I stole all the gifts for a good reason," he said. "I was the one who sabotaged the security system and cut off the cables so nobody would find out it was me. I started all this yesterday during the night so I could take all the gifts and hide them in the attic of the mansion."
"But I can't understand," Zelda said. "Why did you do all this? Why would you steal the gifts? Is there some kind of grudge you have against us?"
"Oh no, I don't have any grudges with anyone," Popo said as Lucario silently left for the attic by walking upstairs through the stairs of the left. "I just wanted to do something very fun to do. I planned this ever since I started reading detective novels. I wanted to test out my wits by having everyone participate in this interesting detective drama moment. I must say it came out good, right? You were all so cooperative in this that it did look like a crime scene...well, everyone but Mr. Fox McShadyCloud."
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Fox yelled loudly as he tried to get off from the swordsmen's grip.
Popo clapped his hands together. "Bravo, everyone, you made me take a step closer to achieve my dream. This will surely give me a nice advantage in my career to be an ace detective. The masses will know the true might of Sherlock Popo Holmes very soon!" he said with enthusiasm before opening his arms. "So what do you say now? Let's celebrate Christmas like the big happy family we all are!"
If only Popo could hear something else rather than the cricket chirps that echoed in the lobby. And Popo would wish to see something else that the different negative stares that the Smashers were using to look at him.
"...Let's celebrate, you guys..." Popo muttered.
"...So...in a few words..." began Charizard, "...you stole every single gift just to make a pointless detective scene..."
"I wouldn't call it pointless," Popo said. "It was packed with action and suspense, I guess. Weren't you feeling the nice feeling of suspense? I sure as hell did."
"In a few words...we played the detective game with you?" Ness asked bored.
"It wasn't a game but rather a test," Popo said. "I passed with flying colors, didn't I?"
"Oh no..." Nana began. "Popo, I can barely believe you did all this just so we could agree with you to be our detective; a detective who can't even do the job right."
"Hey, I did do a great job if I do say so myself," Popo said. "Aren't you proud of me?"
"..." Nana smiled. "Of course I'm proud of you, Popo. Thinking back, it was so clever of you to pull out such a thing like this."
Roy nodded. "Man, you really made us get into this. You're awesome, Popo."
"Heheh, what can I say?" Popo asked. "I'm working hard enough to become an ace detective. I only do this for the welfare of society itself. Do you want to live in a world where crime goes off unpunished without a trace to find the culprits? Fear no more, my boys. Sherlock Popo Holmes is going to be there to get back your stolen doll or toy."
"Heheh, right," Roy said with a chuckle.
"Not only he's awesome, he's funny as well!" Lucas said happily. "I-I want to be like you, Popo!"
"Fight for your dreams and you'll achieve them, Lucas," Popo encouraged.
"Wow, I'm amazed," said Fox as he suddenly came back to his senses. "This was very interesting to take part of." The swordsmen let go of Fox to let the vulpine stand up and grin at Popo. "Popo, I know for sure you're going to become an ace detective in no time."
"I knew you would understand," Popo said. "I'll stop calling you Fox McShadyCloud."
"Nah, I'll change it to that name. It has a nice and cool ring to it."
"Cool," Popo said. "You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for helping me out to achieve my dreams."
"Hey, we're there to help you out," DK said with a happy expression. "If you have any trouble, call us."
"Nah, I'll be very well by my own," Popo said. "I can handle this just fine."
Samus sighed with pleasure as she joined her hands together. "He's so dreamy to do everything by himself... I like hot guys like him..."
"Me too..." Zelda said with infatuation.
"Me three..." Peach added.
"Me four," added Jigglypuff.
"Me five..." added an infatuated...Marth.
Master Hand cleared his throat. "Popo, in honor for your astonishing skills as a rising ace detective," he began as he held a small golden badge, "I'm proud to award you with this little medal that indicates your beginning as a real ace detective." He nicely put the badge on Popo's brown robe. "Congratulations, young man."
Popo grinned coolly. "Awesome," he said.
The Smashers began to applaud the detective Ice Climber while a sobbing Nana ran to him and gave him a warm hug. Popo shed some tears and hugged back her sister before Lucario came back from the stairs, dragging a big bag with presents that he took besides the tree. It was not long before confetti began to rain down the ceiling, R.O.B. magically repairing himself by his parts somehow putting themselves back together.
Overall, Popo achieved his ultimate dream. All the Smashers began to idolize him a lot, and the detective Ice Climber soon became famous around the entire world. Popo had an outstanding detective career that he soon reached even more than the very same Sherlock Holmes never achieved before in his life.
Popo's dream soon became true, much for his delight. His cool demeanor inspired many to become ace detectives who would never surpass his skills, and he soon became a much-respected figure in the field of the most well known detectives...
Ever since that Christmas, Popo became what he wanted to be...
By the way, nothing of this happened at all. In fact, it was just a false ending to fool the people. Seriously, did you really think this cheesy ending took place? If it did, this story would have had been thought by some sort of child who can't tell the different between cheesy and a real cheese.
So let's see what REALLY happened in the scene where Nana didn't believe Popo's reason...
"Oh no..." Nana began. "Popo, I can barely believe you did all this just so we could agree with you to be our detective; a detective who can't even do the job right."
"Hey, I did do a great job if I do say so myself," Popo said. "Aren't you proud of me?"
"...That's it; I had it with you and your attitude now!" Nana yelled annoyed as she took out her hammer from her back. "Everyone, let's beat the crap out of his head!"
"Finally!" Falco said pleased. "Somebody here does think of good ideas!"
DK smacked his fists together. "I say let me hit his face!"
The swordsmen carefully put Fox back to his feet, but they kept him from running towards Popo. "LET ME GO ALREADY!" Fox demanded. "I NEED TO RIP HIS LITTLE HEAD OFF!"
Popo began to sweat a bit as many of the Smashers began to walk closer to him. "You guys seriously need to control your temper..." he muttered. "C-can't we just enjoy Christmas like a big happy family?"
"We'll enjoy Christmas once we make sure you taste justice," Pit threatened as he brandished his dual blades. "Didn't you say the same thing to me?"
"P-Pit, I'm proud you remembered what I told you..." Popo said unsure.
"I-I'll do my best to hit you hard...with my Pikmins..." Olimar muttered.
"Oh please, you too? You can't even kill a fly," Popo said.
"Good," DK said. "I can use his turn to smack you down even more."
Popo gulped. "T-there's no need for violence now, you guys. W-we're in a very important date."
"It's going to be even more important once you get what you deserve," C. Falcon said as he cracked his fists. "So shut up, will you?"
"Y-you deliver me a Falcon Punch and I'll smack you inste-"
"Not if I pin you down," Sonic interrupted with a devilish grin. "You gotta lie down and let us do our thing on you."
"W-when did you become this scary?" Popo asked as his sunglasses fell down his eyes and fell on the floor, Sonic ignoring it and crushing it under his right foot. "E-everyone, we can solve this like civilized people! W-where is R.O.B., anyway? D-didn't he have something to say?"
"You made him blow himself up," reminded Mr. Game & Watch, R.O.B's base leaking some more oil behind the group.
"..." Popo soon found his back leaning against the wall close to the door. The detective Ice Climber was surrounded by all the Smashers. "U-um, I-I want to say something else before you hit me!" he said.
"What?!" everyone asked.
"...M-Merry Christmas!" Popo said happily as his smile twitched uncontrollably, "a-and happy holidays!"
"GET HIM!!!" Fox yelled.
Everyone leaped right towards the Ice Climber. Somehow, Popo leaped beneath all the angry Smashers, making all of them pile together above each other on the spot where he was while he managed to run away in a hurry to the stairs of the right. The Smashers began to struggle to get off from each other before they all quickly got back on their feet.
"Where did that brat go now?" Charizard asked, his eyes darting around the room to find the boy.
"You'll never catch me, you bunch of barbarians!" yelled Popo from the second floor before he broke out laughing. "See you later, suckers!" he said and ran away to the hallway. "Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!"
"Don't let him get away!" Pikachu yelled before everyone decided to chase the crazy Ice Climber with weapons, fists, feet, items, and anything good for the use of violence to use on Popo. They all began to scream loudly as they all climbed the stairs and ran after the newbie detective around the mansion, their yells echoing through the main lobby.
In the ensuing chaos, Master Hand, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Pichu were all left behind, all of them not wanting to participate in the event.
Master Hand sighed. "Why can't we just have a peaceful Christmas day? Is it so much to ask for a nice morning to open presents?"
"What can you do?" Mario asked. "You knew very well that making us stay here during this day could end up with this."
"I-I agree," Luigi said. "Did you see the angry looks on their faces?"
"I-I'm going to have nightmares..." Pichu muttered.
It was not long before they saw Lucario walking down the stairs of the left. The Aura Pokémon was carrying a nice-looking blue gift under his right arm.
"Oh, Lucario," Peach began, "thank you so much for helping us."
"I only helped you because I wanted my gift," Lucario said. "If you'll excuse me, I want to enjoy the rest of the day with my trainer." He looked away and hid a small smile. "(He's going to like my gift... I can't wait to see the look on his face,)" he thought.
"...Um..." Master Hand began, "...Lucario, where are the other presents?"
The Aura Pokémon looked at him. "In the attic," Lucario responded.
"And...couldn't you take all of them here?"
Lucario glared at him. "They're your gifts, not mine. Go get your gifts yourself."
Lucario grunted annoyed and walked to the exit. As he opened the door to go out, he closed his eyes and muttered, "This is why I never stay here with any of you. Something very stupid always happens..."
The few Smashers watched as Lucario left through the main door. Master Hand sighed in depression and looked at them. "Well, Lucario doesn't like to be with us. That problem is for another day, though."
"I'll go get the gifts," Mario offered.
"Good, thanks," the hand said. "Just be sure you don't get trampled over by those guys, okay?"
Mario shrugged and nodded before he began his way to the attic. The hand of the mansion looked at Luigi, Peach, and Pichu before they all did a group sigh, the stampede of furious Smashers chasing after the detective Ice Climber in the hallway of the fourth floor.
Overall, the day didn't turn out like Master Hand wanted. Nevertheless, the Smashers managed to enjoy Christmas after they trapped Popo inside the cage of the Ultimate Chimera. After that, Christmas was very well received by everyone.
"Hey, somebody let me out from this cage! This thing is SO damn pink that my eyes are feeling weird, I swear!" Popo yelled as the chimera leaped towards him.
Even though it wasn't obvious, there was a moral to this story.
Never leave your gifts alone before Christmas. Do otherwise, and you'll never see what you got the day of Christmas...well, probably.
"What did I get?!" Popo asked.
You got this:
"Lame!" Popo yelled before the chimera pinned him down. "This is the worst Christmas ever!"
"Worse than the Thanksgiving incident with Kirby?" asked Ness as he was out the cage of the chimera to make sure Popo didn't get out alive.
"Nah, I think the Easter Bunny incident was worse. I mean, they sure as hell didn't tell you where they hid the eggs an-"
Once the chimera was about to rip Popo's face off, the story had already ended.
While the chimera was doing its job, Ness looked at no one in particular and waved a hand. "Merry Christmas and happy holidays to anybody out there," he said bored. "Seriously, it's boring to make sure this beast eats Popo alive…"
"NOT THE FACE!" Popo screamed. "EVERYTHING BUT THE FACE!"
"...But it does have its benefits," Ness said with a grin.
Phew, I hope you all liked this fiction. If I don't get to win in the contest, that's fine with me. I'll be glad I entertained the masses of readers and reviewers. Besides, this is going to boost my moral to write other stories.
Well, that's all I have to say…
…Oh yes, I almost forgot.
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. As always, I encourage readers to review. ;)
…Or else Popo and Nana will be replaced by Plusle and Minum.