It's warm, fuzzy, and comfortable. Where am I?
I try remembering.
A picture flashes into my mind.
Uh, Road? And Akuma. Four of them. Level four. I'd been fighting with Road, and four other level fours.
I'd been way outnumbered. A death-match between Road and I; that I can handle, but four more Akuma? Four more strong, level four, practically immortal Akuma? No chance at all. Nada. Nil. Zilch.
That explained the warmness, fuzziness and comfortableness. I feel giddy, too, come to think of it. I'm probably in heaven, or wherever dead people go when they die.
I can't remember anything else at the moment. My brain feels like mush.
Wait—I can't be dead if I can feel at all, right? I should get moving.
But it feels so comfortable...
My eyelids are heavy. It's hard to open them, and it took me what felt like forever, but they open at last.
I can't see anything! It's frustrating.
Everything blurs in and out of focus, but there are colors. Or just one.
I'll tell you about it: there are loads and loads of white. It fills the sky, so I think I must be in heaven. The Road-and-Akuma scene took place on a rainy day.
My eyes and ears are clearing. I pick out black and red in the huge white sky. An Angel? But angels don't wear the black and red exorcists' uniform…
"Allen-kun!" I thought I'd squeaked in surprise, but instead I heard some weak gasp. What's wrong with me?
Anyways, that pretty much righted my eyes and ears. The close proximity between me and my exorcising partner, I mean. He's clutching my body with his arms while sharing the weight with his knees. I can't feel his arms, though. I made the assessment with my eyes.
Then he bends over, and blue-gray fills my vision. Now I get it! Allen-kun's so pale he can practically fade into white—I forgot. Especially now he's gone paler than pale. What's wrong?
I realize he's talking.
"Lenalee," he keeps chanting with… Relief? Happiness? I don't know, "I'm so glad you're okay! Does it hurt?" Then he rambles on and on.
I will my arms to move—why is it so hard? I succeed and my hand sort of brushes against his jacket before falling back on my stomach. My body jolts at the impact.
I wonder why.
He cradles me gently. "We'll get you to the hospital soon. Hang in there, Lenalee!"
I just love how he says my name.
On impulse, I raise my hand—my right hand 'cause my left is against Allen's warm torso—to his face to cup his cheek.
Oh! And my hand recoils in shock when I see blood on it.
"Are you hurt somewhere, Allen-kun?" I say with extraordinary weariness because of god-knows-what. "There's so much blood…"
He shakes his head and clutches me harder. Do I see tears? Is he hurt that badly? And then he lets out a disbelieving laughs, and says:
"It's you who's hurt, silly."
Another picture; a flashback. I see the dark, grey sky. Road looks really, really happy. Her topaz eyes kind of shines, and she looks sort of dreamy. It totally contradicts the blood splattered on her face and the even bloodier knife in her hands.
Then the part of my brain that's been releasing good, fuzzy feelings snaps and lets all the pain back in.
Ow. It hurt like hell.
My heart's beating way too fast—it's in my throat. My breath's coming in gasps.
God, it hurts to breathe.
I think I must have started screaming and all, then after that my brain retreated back into hiding for a bit before I came round again.
My stomach throbbed painfully.
I ignored it.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Allen's crying in earnest now. His left, activated hand is now wrapped around the front of my torso in a protective stance, his knee propping my legs up. I'd made a stain where I cupped his cheek. There was a little blood on his snowy hair too; pale pink against white.
I felt rotten, making him cry like that. "Sorry," I repeated, "sorry."
"I'm sorry," he says fiercely. "I'm sorry for letting you go out yourself, I'm sorry for letting you get hurt, I'm sorry for leaving you on your own!" And there he goes; crying as if Road stabbing me was his fault.
Like he read my mind, he snarled: "It is my fault!"
That's stupid, I thought. "Why?"
"Road got jealous." His voice was bitter.
I chose that time to remember Road saying something like Allen was her favorite, and kissing Allen on the mouth. (And then I got jealous, too. It didn't get along well with the stab wound, which wouldn't let me go kick the crap out of Road.)
Well, in conclusion: jealousy plus Lenalee equals to totally pissed Lenalee.
While I was fuming, I realized that the 'warm' and 'comfortable' from before was… Allen?
Yeah, that's it.
If I had blood to spare, it would all have gone to my cheeks. But I didn't so I just got even dizzier.
Breathe, Lenalee. Breathe.
Ehem! Back to the issue. Crowned Clown contributed to warm and comfortable too. Allen and I were in this tiny globe that was the cloak. Thank you, Crowned Clown!
I think it heard that because the air rippled and glowed. Allen raised an eyebrow. I changed the subject. Any more Road and I'd burst from irritation.
"What's going on out there?"
He shifted his handsome blue-gray eyes, which felt a little like the sudden loss of contact. My own purple blinked. "Nothing."
"You're lying," I point out accusingly (not to mention weakly). "And why is Crowned Clown cooping us up like that?" My own Dark Boots, inactivated, nudged my ankles, rebuking me. Crowned Clown bristled, as if to say: Hey, Allen's girlfriend! You like it here, so don't insult the cape!
"Nothing's out there, Lenalee," he repeats again, drawing me away from me conversing with Innocence and back to the argument I forgot. Tough luck, lover boy.
It took about five seconds after. The magic of a pout!
"…Kanda and Lavi are fighting. With Road and four other level fours."
How many times have I heard that same sentence? Shouldn't I know who stabbed me? "What are you doing here?" I put on my most commanding voice, which sounds horrible. "Go and fight!"
I already know the answer. "But you're hurt, Lenalee!" And here comes the unexpected. I thought he would cave in and go help, which I'm quite happy to go let him do, but where would the warmth and comfort go?
"I won't leave you here to bleed to death!"
That rang in my ears. My brain took some time to process that. The train of thought kind of leapt off the right track. I was having serious trouble getting it back on, what with the hazy pain (which was either better or worse than fuzz) and the comfort-that-should-be-awkwardness-comfort.
Boy, did I have issues.
"W-what?" I splutter and wince. Allen goes off apologizing again and that steely resolve (if it hadn't crumbled in the first place) to make him fight softened.
"Never mind… What's happening out there?" I decide to put sweet, sweet Allen out of apparent misery, resolve officially crumbling like cookie crumbs.
"Road is…" He cocked his head to a side, like he was listening. I mimicked him, but I didn't hear anything albeit the faint pleased humming of Innocence. "…standing by."
"She's watching. She's sitting on Lero and watching Kanda and Lavi fight it out."
I nod distractedly, knowing full well Allen would either feel it or see it. "Why is Crowned Clown humming?"
Allen looked slightly flustered, tousling his spiky white hair with his left hand, or more accurately, Crowned Clown. His blue-gray eyes—or eye; his curse is activated—shift again, and pink colors his cheeks. All that could be summed up to two words.
And it was so adorable!
"Uh, because… It's killing Akuma?" Allen manages to choke out. I snort.
Note to self: Do not snort when you have multiple stab wounds.
And if said multiple stab wounds have been made by a maniacally jealous girl-noah.
I gasp again and Allen goes on protective. I know I hate troubling people, but I don't mind being babied sometimes.
So, then, despite the troubling multiple stab wounds, I was having one of the best moments of my life.
Boy, did I have serious issues.
Thinking made me forget what Allen had said, and his composure was back on.
…Which was all too bad. That gentleman façade was so hard to crack!
The fuzz-releasing part of my brain is back. It wants to take away the throb-ache-pain.
My eyelids are heavier than ever.
It's tempting, but if I close my eyes, it'll be dark. I hate the dark. I want to look at blue and silver and white.
But I'm so tired! Maybe I'll just sleep for a bit…
Then he shakes me a little, and starts talking.
I'm hardly irritated.
I want to sleep!
He continues. Why can't he hear me out?
I'm halfway to dreamland.
My eyes are still open. A small bit.
God, it's hard to think. I'm sleepy.
I see desperation in those pretty bluish eyes.
Come off it, Allen! I speak, but it turns out to be a thought. I'm just going to sleep for a bit…
Then he kisses me.
Oh. My. God.
Well, he definitely made me wake up.
Ow. Ow. Ow.
Note to self: Do not make sudden moves when you have multiple stab wounds.
And if said multiple stab wounds have been made by a maniacally jealous girl-noah.
"What…" I pant. Allen grins sheepishly.
"Sorry," he says. Bless you, I thought. I wouldn't mind if you did that more often. "You can kill me later."
No blood to fuel blush. Dizziness ensues.
Now I'm wide awake with the full extent of pain. I don't know whether to kill or kiss Allen. How 'bout a few more kisses to keep me off the pain?
Allen doesn't look like he's going to kiss me anytime soon. He looks way too embarrassed.
Crowned Clown ripples the air.
I think they're laughing.
I send silent vibes of murder.
Then he cocks his head to a side, listening. "Two down, two to go."
I know what he means. "Wow, that's fast!" I exclaim. Shakily, but you don't have to know, right?
"Fast? Really? I'll pass it along to Ba-Kanda and Lavi."
"I couldn't have been out for more than an hour, right?"
He falls silent. I brace myself.
"You've been unconscious for… five or six hours?"
Wow. I've lost five or more hours of blood. I'm still alive! Kudos to…
"Crowned Clown's holding you together; that's why I won't fight."
The whiteness glows.
And Crowned Clown. Too. How could I forget it? (Cough, cough.)
I see the whiteness around my whole torso. Like bandages.
How many places did Road stab? I wonder.
Then the whiteness is ripped apart.
A high pitched, unnatural laughter.
And then I see red. No, it's not a figure of speech. I'm not angry or something; more like scared the hell out of my wits. I feel safer in Allen's arms so I snuggle deeper.
Red fire… Lavi! Yay Lavi!
"Lavi!" I shout as loud as I possibly can. I'm panting hard. Three Akumas; I wonder how he's doing. Kanda, too.
"Lenalee! Are you okay?"
He definitely sounds alright.
The fire dies down; Crowned Clown is now a fence around us. I see the grey sky; I see a blackened Akuma; I see the ruins of the city.
"Lavi, Kanda! Are you two okay?" Like I'm in any position to ask. I hope they heard me.
Kanda lands beside the 'fence'. He crouches defensively with two swords, one in each hand. "Like hell you have to ask that. Of course I'm fine! Che," he grumbles. How Kanda-like. "Even Baka-usagi can kill these weak things!"
"Thanks for the compliment, Yuu-chan!"
Watch your language, Kanda. Another speech-turned-thought. I hate being this weak.
I smile. It's the best I can manage. It's easy, too. Kanda and Lavi spar even in battle.
My eyelids are heavy. I force them open. I need to see if Lavi's okay…
Said red-head drops to Kanda's other side. "No need to be so rude, Yuu-chan!" He tilts his head towards me, his mouth in a lop-sided grin. "Hang in there, princess!" I see his worry in his one eye.
Lavi's okay. So are Kanda and Allen. Can I sleep now?
Some part of my mind says no.
My breath's coming in rasps.
Just for a bit…
"Lenalee!" Allen barks, jostling me out of my soon-to-be slumber. I'm annoyed again. Why is it he won't let me sleep? "Kanda, Lavi! We need to get her to a hospital now!"
"I don't take orders from a bean sprout," Kanda snorts, but shifted to a more battle-ready position. Lavi grins.
"Hold the fort, 'kay, Allen-san!" It was a statement, not a question.
Road continues to watch, sadistic amusement and slight irritation apparent on her face. I press myself against Allen. She makes a face.
Blehh. If I were younger, I would have stuck out my tongue.
Crowned Clown closes up again.
"Why can't I see them?" I demand, the effect ruined—again—by the lack of breath and pain. Screw the comfortable that should have been awkward.
"So that you're in suspense," Allen dutifully points out. I give a what?! face. I can't speak. My heart's in my throat.
And my breath's coming in short heaves. I don't think it's about the stab wounds. It's the look on Allen's face.
If I were in perfect condition and didn't have a brother with a sister complex, I would have swooned like a rabid fangirl.
He shuffled uncomfortably. "You'll… You'll…"
Oh, the taboo word. "Die?" I suggest casually.
I feel sorry for him. "Why? I just want to sleep for a bit…" Another thank you to Crowned Clown for the silence. It was hard to speak up.
"No!" Allen does his fierce snarl again. I feel obliged to follow, but it was hard. I couldn't hold up my eyes anymore. Then he softens his tone, which makes me want to do whatever he wants. "You… can't go to sleep."
Oh, wow. It's like an angel speaking. I sigh and close my eyes. "Lenalee?" Allen asks tentatively.
"Present," I reply and open my tired eyes. He treats them with a smile. I'm ready to melt into a puddle.
Time passed, and there was idle chat. I really, really want to sleep.
So I set myself to memorizing Allen's face to pass time.
Allen's eyes were silver with a pinch of grey. It was hard to notice from faraway, but the blue was there. It was light and it danced in his eyes; his eyes were hard to forget.
The skin around his eyes was crinkled in a worried frown. He looked older than sixteen. I lift my fingers to smoothen them. It wouldn't do for an angel to frown, would it?
Allen let me; he simple watched.
His mouth was set and grim. I poked his cheeks.
He smiled, worrisomely.
His hair was like powdered snow. It looked and felt like it.
I felt stupid, looking at Allen like that.
But if I died now, I would die a happy woman.
I'm really, really tired. Allen's voice is fading out. I can't hear it anymore…
I smell flowers.
I'm dead, that's what I'm pretty sure about.
One heaven to another.
It's warm and comfortable.
It's easier to open my eyes now. So I did just that.
I see silvery blue. One of my favorite colors. God must've taken note of that, and my heaven now has it everywhere.
Just like the first heaven, its white everywhere.
Then the blue-gray flickers, but is still there.
Then after I realize it's a pair of eyes.
Right after that I see the pale face, pale hair and the black and red exorcist uniform.
"Oh," I breathe. "Good morning, Allen."
He welcomes me with a bright smile.
I sink into the pillow. I'm in the hospital wing; that explains the white.
"Good morning, Lenalee."
Then he swoops in for another kiss.
Heh, I wish Road was here.
And sometime after, during the chaos in the order which was all because of nii-san (You don't want to know. I think there was a camera in the room somewhere… Komui-nii really shouldn't spy on me.), I realize that I'd stopped using honorifics.
It happened sometime during the warm and the comfortable, I'm sure.
Hello, my first fanfiction. Go easy, okay? R&R, please!
I don't own DGM, thank you.
I'm sorry if I made Road sound like some out of control jealous freak, but it really is a solid reason for Lenalee to get hurt. I love Road to bits too, you know? By the way, Crowned Clown (I'm getting really sick of typing such a long name...) hummed because it responded to Allen. And Allen is feeling... Happy? Or something like that. Of course, he's still upset over the stabbing and all...
Road didn't kill Lenalee 'cos she wanted Lenalee to die slowly and painfully. Sound familiar?
If Lenalee or Allen seems OOC, consult me or blame the multiple stab wounds. It's kinda hard to maintain pure thoughts when you just got stabbed in the stomach/torso. Or maybe it's just inexperience?
I sound totally emo! Gah! I only got chocolate and chocolate and more chocolates for Christmas! What did anyone else get?
Merry Christmas, and a happy new year! ^^