A/N: Call it a tactical error of mine to try out the 5 day week thing on Christmas week. Let's pretend I said next week and just go with that. In any case, here's a short oneshot in the Christmas spirit! Hope you guys like it. Enjoy.
Zoro looked blankly at the package in front of him.
"What… what is this?" he asked in puzzlement.
"It's a gift!"
Well, yeah. He knew it was a gift; that much was obvious. What the swordsman was really asking was why a wrapped up gift had been handed to him by the resident doctor of the Straw Hat pirates.
Seeing the look of confusion on his nakama's face change to one of slight exasperation caused the reindeer to clarify.
"For Christmas! I know that we're supposed to wait until tomorrow, but I just couldn't wait to give everyone their gifts!" The reindeer's excitement was seething through his teeth.
"Ah, I see." Zoro inspected the gift he'd been handed by the blue nosed reindeer. It was shoddily wrapped in what appeared to be a decorative wrapping for the holidays. It was a little hard to tell which one, though, since gratuitous amounts of tape covered the box and the swordsman guessed that his furry companion had tried multiple times to wrap the gift.
Chopper began fidgeting with his hands in apprehension. "Go on, Zoro, open it! I picked it out especially for you and I think you're really going to like it!"
"All right, all right," Zoro sighed. He could tell that Chopper had put all but his soul into the gift, the least he could do accept whatever he gave him to make the little guy happy.
Zoro began unwrapping the tape surrounding the box, indiscriminately tearing through the paper like it was tissue. Tossing the bunched up pile of paper and tape to the side, Zoro held a flimsy and thin white paper box that was relatively untouched. The green haired swordsman removed the top of the white box to see lingerie for a female as the contents of the box. If he wasn't confused before, he sure as hell was now.
Zoro heard a horrified yelp come from the direction of the doctor and when he languidly looked up to him the reindeer was poorly trying to hide behind a shelf in the room, the entirety of his body sticking out of cover rather than behind it.
"Uhh… Chopper, I think you gave me the wrong gift…" Zoro awkwardly began before a thought occurred. "Wait… who is this for anyways?" he asked the trembling doctor with particular interest since he couldn't see the blue nosed reindeer buying this kind of thing for any reason. Perhaps his little buddy was starting to finally grow up.
Chopper clasped his mouth. "NOBODY! That isn't what I bought, I swear! They must have accidentally given me the wrong thing." Tears started to form in Copper's eyes from embarrassment at the situation. "I wanted to get you a new haramaki, Zoro, honest. I'm sorry…"
Zoro chuckled to himself a little bit with a small grin. "You mean you didn't even check to see what it was you were wrapping before you put all that effort into it?"
The grin slowly disappeared as Chopper's choking only intensified at the obvious question.
"Oh, come on, Chopper, it's really not that big of a deal," Zoro began to plead, "Honestly, stuff like this happens all the time! It's nothing to get ashamed about." The green haired swordsman walked over to the sniffling doctor and patted him on the head.
Chopper innocently looked up at the swordsman. "R-really?"
"Yeah, really!" Zoro confidently said as he continued to pat Chopper on the head. "So don't worry about it, you still have till tomorrow, don't you? You could always bring it back and explain to them what happened."
Chopper stopped tearing up and soon began widely smiling at the realization that he still had to tomorrow to get Zoro's gift.
"Thanks, Zoro! So what did you get everybody?"
The green haired swordsman paused at the question.
"Huh? What did I get? Well… I got…"
Zoro froze. He'd completely forgotten to get a present for everyone on the ship while they'd been docked on an island for the past couple of days. The doctor's excited gaze only served to make the green haired swordsman more frantic at his predicament.
"I uh— I got everyone… well I—" Stammering and unable to think up of anything on the spot, Zoro just decided to make the easier response. "Well… I can't tell you, it's a secret."
Shit. There's no way he's going to buy it.
"Oh, I get it! Ok, I won't ask anymore then!" Chopper's eyes sparked at the thought of what Zoro had gotten everyone.
Zoro closed the box to his gift and handed it back to the blue nosed reindeer.
"Here you go, Chopper. If you bring it back and explain what happened I'm sure they'd be more than happy to fix the issue."
Chopper went to leave the room, defunct gift in tow.
"Oh!" Zoro called out after him, "If it'd be easier for you, you can ask for them to wrap the gift for you. That way it won't take you as long as before."
Chopper happily nodded in response before quickly exiting the room and leaving the ship towards town.
Zoro groaned and rubbed his forehead. He'd finally managed to accumulate some money of his own and now he was going to have to spend it all getting everybody gifts. Not that he minded, it was just that the whole process was one big headache.
Gathering up what he could before departing, Zoro traveled through the town they were docked at in search of gifts for everybody else. It was easy enough since the swordsman had a vague idea of what each of his crewmates needed or wanted, after all they lived with each other on a ship.
He got beef jerky for Luffy. He knew that the rubber captain was a fanatic over any kind of meat, and with the amount of jerky the swordsman had gotten for Luffy it should last him a bit; plus it wouldn't go bad over time.
Nami had always complained of never having enough ink for her maps and the cold hearted bitch was so tight with money that she never bought enough for herself. With that in mind, Zoro bought her a couple bottles of ink, enough for her not to whine about it for the next few islands.
Sanji was easy enough since he was the cook of the ship. Since Zoro had an eye for blades, he bought the blonde haired cook a new knife for him to use. It was relatively expensive so he could only buy one, but he knew that the curly brow would be able to find good use for it.
Easier still was the goof who'd accidentally gotten him lingerie, Chopper. Every time they were allotted some money by Nami or would go shopping, the reindeer would always babble about how he wanted to get some new medical books. The swordsman went on a limb and bought some books he hoped the doctor didn't already have.
Usopp was a little trickier since he was pretty resourceful on his own. Zoro decided to appeal to the sniper's liking of lies and trickery and bought him some gag items for Usopp to bother everybody else with. He'd give it him on the condition that he didn't bother the swordsman with the items, of course, lest he want them tossed overboard.
Franky was still relatively new to the crew so Zoro wasn't familiar with what the shipwright really liked or disliked. The swordsman did notice that Franky was a big fan of cola, so he bought him a few cases of various flavors of the beverage.
Last on the list was Robin since the green haired swordsman truly had no idea of what to get for the archeologist. He considered a book like Chopper, but decided against it since he knew even less about what kind of books she liked to read. Zoro noted that the raven haired archeologist liked wearing cowboy hats for whatever reason, so he went with getting her a new one.
Finally finishing the last minute shopping, Zoro tiredly crawled back onto the Thousand Sunny with all of the gifts pre-packaged and hid them in his dresser before crashing for the night.
Zoro woke up bright and early to the sounds of celebration coming from outside on the deck. Groggily rubbing his eyes, the green haired swordsman walked out to see every strawhat merrily celebrating with drinks in one hand and sweets in the other. It didn't take long for a mug to get thrust violently into his chest by Sanji filled with his favorite ale, a spiteful stare belying a cheerful one.
Graciously accepting the drink, Zoro began to join the festivities in his own manner, silently enjoying his beverage while occasionally snacking on the various treats placed around the deck. He didn't partake in the more active sorts of celebration, but he certainly did enjoy watching it.
Shortly after the early morning partying everyone began to exchange gifts with each other. Zoro went back to grab his gifts and noticed that there were some extra presents inside the drawer he had put his in. Before he could wonder who they belonged to Chopper walked into the room, gasping in surprise when he saw Zoro looking inside the drawer.
"AHHH, ZORO!" the reindeer cried out, "Stop trying to find your gift before I give it to you!"
Zoro irritably looked at the doctor. "What are you talking about? I'm just grabbing my gifts for everybody! More importantly, what are your gifts doing inside my drawer?"
Chopper defiantly placed his hands against his hips. "So that people like you who try to open their gifts early wouldn't look in my drawer for them!"
"That doesn't make any sense," Zoro began to explain before quickly giving up in disinterest, "Anyways, give me a second to grab my gifts before you get yours, I'm pretty sure I know which ones are mine."
The green haired swordsman sifted through the drawer and picked out all of the gifts he knew were his from the size and style of wrapping that decorated them. After he had finished, Zoro walked outside and joined in on the gift giving.
The spoils that he'd gotten from everyone else were pretty good. Whether it was extra ale, sword cleaning tools, new weights, and other stuff, Zoro found himself grateful for everyone in his crew for their heartfelt gifts and he would definitely put great use to them.
He finally gave everybody their gifts all at once before getting his last from Chopper. This time the wrapping was much nicer than before, although it and the gift box in general looked bizarrely familiar for some reason. Zoro unwrapped the gift somewhat hesitantly since he still had the previous gift from Chopper on his mind and removed the top to see a cowboy hat. It wasn't just any cowboy hat; it was the hat Zoro had bought for Robin.
"AHHH, that's NOT what I got you!" Chopper yelled in a similar tone to the previous time he gave Zoro his gift. Nobody else could hear the doctor since he was hiding behind the mast.
Zoro looked numbly at the hat in his grasp and wondered what was in Robin's gift. As if on cue, gasps of shock and surprise could be heard before the lone laugh of Luffy roared over everybody's muttering.
"Kenshi-san, this is… quite forward of you," Robin coolly said, holding lingerie in her hands that came from the box Zoro had given her.
Zoro lurched in horror when he realized what everybody was thinking, a deep blush quickly overcoming his features.
"Wait! My gift was—"
"I hope you like that hat I got you, Zoro!" Chopper yelled out, interrupting the swordsman and leaving him for the hounds before hiding back behind the mast again.
"You've got it all wrong, the hat is—" Zoro tried defending himself again before getting interrupted by a shoe to the face from Sanji.
"Oi, you bastard! If anyone is going to be giving these lovely ladies lingerie, it's me! Don't be getting any ideas with Robin if you know what's good for you, punk!"
Zoro pushed him back before trying to explain the situation in a flustered manner. Nami was simply speechless, Luffy was rolling in laughter with Usopp, Franky was busy inspecting the lingerie in Robin's hands, and Chopper had 'mysteriously' disappeared.
"Kenshi-san," Robin coyly spoke, toying with the swordsman, "if you really want me to wear this I'm sure I could put it on for you." The raven haired archeologist tilted her head to the side, her gaze never leaving Zoro's with a playful look on her face.
It was already difficult for the green haired swordsman to explain everything, now it was simply impossible. Every sentence he tried to stammer out was incoherent, unintelligible babble and his face was an incredibly deep shade of red. Zoro threw back the rest of his drink before eagerly excusing himself to refill his mug away from the rest of the crew, them jeering at him and howling in laughter the whole time.
It was certainly an interesting Christmas that year.
Ending note: Had a hard time ending this one quite honestly, I didn't really know where to stop. I wanted to keep going but I feel like that would have been dragging it on. In any case, I really had a fun time writing this story and I just couldn't help but toss in a little Zoro x Robin in there. The story ended up being a lot longer than I intended it to (only planned on writing a 1k short story with a Christmas theme for fun) but once I got the mistaken gift in my head I just had to do it. Hopefully this gave you a laugh if nothing else and I hope you enjoyed it! If you're wondering, there's no Brook because he hasn't been around long enough on the ship for me to get comfortable with him, so I don't usually write him in.