Still Figuring Out

Woosh, hey guys. It has literally been months since I last updated, and for that, I'm incredibly sorry. I got caught up with RPing, and have literally written nothing else, but now it's nearly Summer, and I really miss writing. I'm not sure how frequent my updates will be, because… you all know how forgetful I am, and how I often need a good kick up the backside to get me to do anything, but I'm hoping to start writing more. I want to thank all of you guys for your reviews, I do still read each and every one, and I love all of you guys. I hope you can forgive me for taking so long with this. (L)
Also… I have read the past few chapters, but there are some things I can't work out. So I'm going to have to set the scene a little bit; Alice is back, and Bella's remembered all the things that happened when she was human, so she hates her. And Edward's back. Good? Good. :3

Chapter 10 – Go Your Own Way

Jasper's POV

Fuck. Shit, fuck, wank, cock and balls, and every other damned profanity you can think of.



He's coming here. 'Home'. To try to get Bella back, apparently. Well I'll have to make sure that he doesn't succeed.

"You're not breakable now, Bella. I can give you what you want." Edward told her, his eyes darkening with lust.

"I'm pretty sure that's what Jasper's here for." Bella replied, winking at me, looking over to where I stood on the sidelines, simply watching her and Edward. Confusion clouded Edwards face and emotions. "Plus, even if I didn't have Jasper, I'm pretty sure there's a little thing I could use. Oh, what's it called... Pink, little ears..." she tapped her chin, feigning deep thought

"Rabbit!" Alice piped up from the background. I know that if Emmett hadn't been there to cover her mouth with his hand, we would have all had to suffer through one of "Alice's stories".

"Yes, Alice." Bella said, not looking towards the pixie, her name coming out lightly laced with acid. "The rabbit." She continued, ignoring Alice's shocked expression. "Because I'm sure that a little inanimate thing, would provide far more pleasure in half an hour than you could in 10 hours straight sex. Or foreplay, though I don't think you're quite man enough for that, are you Eddie? Don't have it in you to please a woman without having your dick in her? No, far too selfish for that, aren't you. In all the time I was with you, you never touched me. Not once. Went running off fucking your little sister behind my back, didn't you? Well, fuck. It wasn't like I wasn't giving you plenty of chances to do something, but you were too much of a pussy to give in. At least Jasper's a real man, he can do things you won't have even thought about doing with that little pixie." She ranted on at him like that for a good 5 minutes, Edward just staring at her shocked. I think my expression was the same, to be honest. 'things you won't have even thought about doing'… well, fuck me, I'll be damned if I knew what these things were. I've hardly done anything to her, not really, not a patch on what I have in mind. Does she really think so little about Edward? Wouldn't surprise me, to be honest. Anyway, internal monologue over. Good shit's going down here, I'd hate to miss even a moment of this.

"In a little nutshell, Eddie; you're a silly little fucker, and just because you can get into your sister's pants," she spat out, "doesn't mean you can get into mine. You had your chance, and you missed it. Shit out, really. Why don't you go find one of the little Denali sluts I hear so much about, and let them see how much of a fucking asshat you are." She finished, shooting him a sarcastic grin, and turning on her heel, heading for the stairs.

I looked again at Edward, still stood with his jaw hanging, evidently still in shock from my sweet little Bella giving him a verbal beat down. Like hell was I going to stand down here and watch Loserward though, when my little vixen was upstairs, probably up for angry sex. The nerd in my head did a mental happy dance and a "w00t".

"Jasper. Seriously. Get the fuck in here and stop pussyfooting around! Just push the goddamn door, I can feel you out there, you know! This shit works through wooden doors!" Fuck me, she sounds hot even when it's me she'll yelling at. I pushed the door open, unable to wait any longer in the spot outside the door where I had lingered for a moment, waiting to see if she would say anything to me.

Usually, because I'm the second oldest vampire, my senses are almost as sharp as Bella's as a newborn, with the added bonus of experience allowing me to concentrate on everything. But around Bella I seemed to develop some kind of tunnel vision, because as soon as I walked into that room, all I could see was my Bella laid on the bed, propped up on her elbows, one eyebrow raised, watching me.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" She scolded me for being frozen at the door. I hesitated momentarily, but shook it off before she could reprimand me again. She adjusted her position on the bed, and her attire caught my attention. She had changed. In the time I had wasted, she had managed to get changed, into one of the little outfits she must have bought when she went shopping. A thin babydoll, and… not much else, to be honest. My jaw dropped, when I noticed that the more she moved, the more that little outfit revealed. Before she could move another inch, I was hovering above her on the bed, holding her wrists down onto the bed.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. You should have known this little thing was a bad idea." I told her, watching her become confused, "You see, you must have spent a lot of money on this, it's an expensive little piece of material. And now, it's ruined." I tutted at her, and before realization came to her, I shredded the flimsy material.

I kissed between the valley of her breasts, and ignored the sounds of her pleading moans, and kissed further down.

"Going commando, Isabella?" I asked her. She nodded slightly in return. She was still watching me, her eyes darkened with lust, and when I paused to watch her, she wasted no time in bucking her hips upwards in hope of friction. "What do you want, Bella? You have to tell me darlin', or I'll never know."

"I… I want you to, to fuck me, Jasper. I want you to fuck me." She told me. I didn't know vampires could stutter – I don't remember hearing it happen before, but it did.

"As you wish, darlin'." I told her, before pushing into her. Why waste time with foreplay, when you can just fuck instead? Surely this woman was made for me. This motherfucking beautiful, strange – no, insane – woman. She was perfect for me, in so many ways.

This may have been a fuck, but even during this primal act, we were holding each other close. There was no air between us – other than when I had to pull out, of course, but I was straight back in anyway. Even during a fuck, it was still, weirdly, like making love, even though that sounds sappy.

"Really, ugh, fucking, sappy." Bella said – or rather, she attempted to, between moans.

"Shut up." I warned her, "Or this is gonna get ten times fucking harder."

She grinned up at me, hair splayed out beneath her, eyes black and hooded with lust. "Make me." She whispered.

I growled and pounded into her, harder and faster with each thrust, pulling all the way out, before slamming into her again. I could feel her muscles in her abdomen tightening, and her walls constricting around me, and within seconds she was coming around me, as I shot my cold seed deep within her. She was milking me, for all I was worth, taking every last drop I had to offer.

"Fuck, Jazz, that was, amazing." Bella practically gasped her words, even though she had no need for breath.

I nodded vehemently, "Hell yes." Was all I could manage to get out.

We laid there for a while, cuddling, basking in the glow of post-coital bliss, until Alice burst in the room.

She was stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of me and Bella laid on the bed, tangled up, in all our naked glory. Her hand flew to her face to cover her eyes, and if she could have blushed there's no doubt about whether she would or not.

"Uh, guys, I came to tell you, that, I'm leaving. I'll wait downstairs." She rushed her words out, before turning and quickly leaving the room.

"Time to get up I guess." I sighed, trying to untangle from Bella.

"M'tired." She mumbled into my chest.
"Bella, you don't sleep anymore. You can't possibly be tired." I told her, before prodding her. "Come on, get up. Alice is going, you know you don't want to miss that."

She shot out of bed, searching for her clothes, laughing with me.

"I heard that!" Alice's voice chimed up the stairs. Unfortunately for her, this only made us laugh harder.

"So, you're really leaving, huh?" Emmett asked, still seemingly confused by Alice's rash decision.

"Yeah. I had a vision, and I'm going to meet my mate," she explained, "It was meant to be later than this, but things change I guess. She shrugged.

"Alright then sweetheart. You call us, okay? Don't let your momma worry." Esme smiled down at her daughter, before embracing her. She went around the family hugging us, saying goodbye, before standing near the door.

"Sayonara. I'll be back soon anyway, mate in tow." Alice grinned, eyes sparkling, before turning and dancing out of the house into the forest.

"One down, one to go." I whispered to Bella, earning me a snicker from her and Emmett. It also gained me a glare from Edward, but that was easy enough to brush off.

I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know what Edward thought of me. It was written all over his face.
If it wasn't for the distractions Bella always provided for me, I don't know how I would still put up with him; I would have been physically incapable. Unfortunately, the 'distractions' Bella always provided, seemed to get to Edward too, because he could see them, feel every emotion, relive every action. I'm glad I'm not a mind-reader, sometimes.
Sometimes though, I wish he'd calm down, and chill out – or, if he couldn't do that, then maybe just leave the house for a bit, because all of his negative emotions were a real downer. I could just tell him to leave, but I have too much respect for Bella, so I couldn't do that. If anybody was to kick him out, it would be her – I would never deny her that… pleasure. Or any other. For that matter.

Of course, along with this whole "being nice to Edward" thing that Bella had decided upon – to "keep everyone in the house sane" apparently – it meant he had to be out of the house, and the general vicinity, before me and Bella could do anything. Even kissing was pushing it. Kissing. I couldn't even kiss my mate without hearing growls from the other room. It's times like that, that I wish she was still human. I could feel her guilt every time he growled. I sometimes hated that I was an empath, because I could feel everything bad, all the bad emotions. I was sick of having to wait until he hunted in order for me to be close to my own mate, but he was making it very, very difficult to wait. Sometimes, I wanted to do it just to spite him.

My patience could only last for so long – it wasn't unlimited. I know that Edward remembered this from the disco phase of '76. That was a bad year for us. I'd only been with the Cullens for 30 years by then, and I'd only just become confident enough in my control over the bloodlust to allow me to physically attend a college. Unfortunately, the 70s were an awful time for music, in my opinion; play me some good old country music, and I'm fine, maybe some chill out music – never, ever play disco music at me and expect me to cooperate happily. I hate it. Truly vile creation. Anyway, let's do a big circle round to return to my point; Edwards obsession with disco.
You know those flared trousers? That were like, gold, and red, and every other colour under the sun? Well, he had those. The metallic kind. The ones that sparkled more than he did. And those baggy shirts with bright prints on? Those. And, this is the best part… A perm. Edward 'ladies man' Cullen had a mother fucking perm. He looked such an idiot, but he thought it was amazing. He started out all prim and proper, in suits, hair combed back; and he ended up with fucking heels on. Heels.
He went through some awkward phases, and he always subjected me to them – forcing me to listen to the music, trying to slip the clothes into my wardrobe, replacing my boots and jeans, and he once tried to make my hair just like his, by getting Alice to style my hair, knowing I would trust her, even without a mirror. That was the last straw of the disco phase. I found him in our living room at the time, and threw him through the nearest window – which wasn't too far away, what with Esme's interior decorating. He soon stopped forcing his obsessions upon me after that.

He thought I'd forgotten about that. Evidently not. He knew too, he could hear it, as I thought it. And I could feel the panic rising within him, as I saw it flood his face. He seemed to back away slightly, by just an inch, and I could feel his pain as he relived the pain of being thrown through the window. It wouldn't usually hurt, but the shards of glass cut into him – normally the shards would scatter around us, but if you get the right angle, it can hurt. Badly. I once did it, and a newborn lost their arm. Edward visibly flinched at the memory in my mind. I smirked, knowing how much he feared me.

He'd just got in from his hunt, and came face to face with me and Bella, heading out into Seattle. He gave her his usual look of 'you-know-you-want-this', before I brought up the disco incident to remind him of what I was capable of if he ever got on the wrong side of me. Bella looked up at me, confused.
"What disco phase, Jazz?" She asked, seemingly oblivious to the look of shock on our faces. Once she saw, she looked utterly confused, "Um… Jazz? Edward? What's up?"
"How did you do that…?" I asked slowly, bending my head slightly to get closer.
"Do what?" She asked, still looking totally puzzled.
"I didn't say anything, Bella. You, read my mind." I explained.
"But, but-" I cut her off, "What am I thinking?"
She scrunched her face up, then shrugged. "Wait! Why are you thinking about that? Edward can hear you!"
"More to the point darlin', you can hear me." I smiled.
"But… I can't hear it all the time, Jasper. I heard two little things, that doesn't make me a mind reader." I still felt the confusion rolling off her.
"How about I call Carlisle, he might know what's going on." She nodded fervently, so I pulled my phone out and rang his cell.

It took a while explaining it to Carlisle, but eventually he was able to help.
Selective telepathy.

Apparently, while she wasn't able to hear every thought without effort, she could focus in on somebody and hear their thoughts, and allow them to hear what she was thinking. I was glad it wasn't like Edwards, I hated the idea of her having his power, but at least it's not his full power. It's so much better, I thought to Edward, smirking while I did so.
She was already a shield, an empath, and had been psychic – and was clearly incredibly grateful that she had managed to push that power out – she didn't need the added complication of telepathy. I hope she doesn't meet anyone else with a crazy power, I don't think I would be able to handle that.


"Edward! Would you answer your goddamn phone already?" I shouted.
"I'm doing it!" He yelled back, before I heard his phone flip up, and he answered in his best 'telephone voice', "Edward Cullen? …Aro! What a lovely surprise! .. Right .. Ten minutes, yes? .. Alright .. Bye."
He slammed his phone shut, and ran around frantically. What's happening? Why did Aro ring you? What's he after? I asked him in my thoughts.
"He's coming here. Says he needs to talk to me, and that it's extremely important." He rushed his words out, while he ran down the stairs to wait at the front door, trying to make himself look presentable. When the Volturi say 'ten minutes' they usually mean a hell of a lot less. "It would be really helpful if you guys would at least pretend to be supporting me, even if you do really want to kill me."
I snorted at his comment, but headed down the stairs with Bella, meeting the rest of the family downstairs.

As expected, not a minute later, there was a knock at the door.

"Aro! My old friend! What a nice surprise visit, and so soon after your last!" Carlisle greeted him at the door, shaking his hand.
"Carlisle! Such a surprise, I wasn't expecting to see you." He replied, before looking past him, focusing on Edward. "Ah, Edward, there you are. Perhaps we could, take this somewhere a little quieter?"
"Of course, Aro. Though I should ask, what is this about?" He asked, while leading him towards the living room.
"All in good time, boy." He smiled, before they sat down in the living room. Edward gave us a pointed look, telling us - not so subtly – to make ourselves scarce. We exited into the kitchen, and listened to the conversation from there instead.

"Edward. You know how… valuable, your gift is. Yes? .. Well, we sensed the tension within the coven last time we were here, and we thought we would put our proposition on the table again. To join the Volturi."
"Those are your only motives for asking me to join you – because you sense tension in the house?" Edward asked, clearly confused.
"Well, there may be, ulterior motives, but they are insignificant, they will be made more apparent when we arrive in Volterra." He explained.
"No, Aro, it's not fair to leave him in the dark like this." Another person joined the conversation. Bella whispered 'Caius' to me. "I am the ulterior motive, Edward. I don't know how to explain it, but I know I don't need to explain it to you, do I? Of course not. You already know why. You can read it in my mind, can't you? Because I'm not blocking you. We cannot block our mates." He explained. I felt Edwards shock, but it was quickly followed by acceptance. It must have been evident on his face, because Caius continued, "See, I knew you could feel it too. How about we don't deny it any longer, hm? Now that you've managed to get rid of the human, we don't have to try to deny it." Bella growled quietly, but silenced when she felt my arm around her waist.
"It is, I believe, an offer that you cannot refuse. The chance to join the Volturi, and the chance of eternity with your mate." Aro persisted, "Would you like to, Edward?"

I'm not incredibly happy with this… but, it's alright, I think.
I don't mind that it's not great, though, I'm just glad that I'm actually getting back into it. I've missed you guys. I'm going to work on the next chapter now. Let me know what you thought?
Please no flames, guys, I would end up hiding away again, and I don't want that…

Kiki-Jo xxx (L)