I am very fortunate, Richard thinks as he gazes at this miserable woman in front of him. He doesn't know her story, nor does he want to. But he didn't lie when she asked why people envied him. People envied him because he was the most fortunate person in the world, whether they knew it or not. And it wasn't because of the money, or the attitude, or anything like that.
It was because he had Justin Pendleton. He had Justin's love, attention, devotion, heart and soul. He was indeed blessed that he had the privelidge of waking up in the mornings and seeing Justin's face. Sometimes he got to wake up with Justin in his arms, buried against his chest, sighing happily in his sleep.
Othertimes, he was blessed with getting to sit down and actually eat with Justin. He got to watch as Justin would put each piece slowly in his mouth and he got to watch as he swallowed the food, no matter how small. He got to watch a recovering bulimic chew and swallow until almost half his plate was gone. He got to curl up on a couch with that recovering bulimic and wrap his arms around a too thin waist to prevent him from going to the bathroom.
And even more times, he was blessed with waking up alone and feeling cold and empty, just to jump out of bed and get the most excited, nervous, fluttering feeling in his stomach when he remembered that Justin was waiting for him. Sitting on a bench, reading some poetry he couldn't begin to understand. Richard loved those days the most he thinks. He loves that feeling; the feeling of his stomach going wild beneath his intestines. He loves watching Justin on that bench, so quiet and alone. He loves being the first one that Justin truly sees in th mornings.
But the one reason that Richard conciders himself to truly be blessed, is because he is the only person who gets to see Justin Pendleton smile. And not just one smile, all smiles. His happy teeth-showing smile, his 'we are getting away with murder' smile, his slight lift of his lip when he smirks, his flattered smile (when he tilts his head away so you can't see the quick lifting of his mouth), and most of all, his 'completely-and-uttely-satisfied' smile. Oh yes, Richard loves that smile the most, when he and Justin are tangle in a bed together, touching, caressing, loving, Jusin gives him that smile and Richard's entire world just revolves around that smile until Justin slaps him playfully and tells him to stop gawking.
"It must be nice being you Richard," she says, only the slightest hint of envy in her voice.
Richard smiled as hard as he could, because at that moment, his world was again, revolving around Justin Pendleton, whether they knew it or not.
"I got no complaints."