A/N: Tomorrow's my birthday, so as an early birthday treat to myself I am adding a new oneshot. This is my terrible attempt at humor. Personally, I LOVE Sirius' teenage character. I tried my best to make him the Sirius I believe is the true Sirius. (Witty, funny but can still be deep when he wants to be and NOT completely stupid like some people make him.) I hope you enjoy!
Sirius stood up at the wedding party table and cleared his throat loudly for attention. The packed reception hall fell silent.
"Well then," He started. "I think it's time for my best man speech. Now I could spend HOURS telling you about the good times James and I have had, such as the time we found the kitchens in Hogwarts and proceeded to eat ourselves sick or the time we discovered muggle paintballing. Just a tip, if you ever do it in the castle, make sure Peeves isn't around and that he doesn't DEMAND to learn. He didn't use it against US, obviously, as he was our partner in crime, but still, the mess was UNBELIEVEABLE. But no, tonight I am going to tell you a Hogwarts love story.
"Once upon a time, there were some students. They lived in a magnificent castle called Hogwarts where they proceeded to learn magic. Four of these students were the famous 'Marauders; James 'Prongs' Potter, Remus 'Moony' Lupin, Peter 'Wormtail' Pettigrew and the handsome, sexy, amazing Sirius 'Padfoot' Black. The goal of these particular boys was to cause as much mischief as possible. I'm proud to say that we…I mean, THEY succeeded. Anyways, then there was a group of beautiful girls. They were named Alice Prewett, Marlene MacKinnon and fiery redhead, Lily Evans. For their first year, these two groups managed to coexist with only minor scrapes. Then in their second year, itty-bitty, Prongsie decided he fancied Miss Lily Evans. Of course, being so in love with her, he hastened to ask her out. Miss Evans, however, not –so- politely declined. The reason you may ask? Well, ladies and gentlemen, because Lily Evans hated James Potter's guts. The decline of Miss Evans, did not, however, did not deter Mr. Potter. He began a frighteningly obsessive phase in which he asked Lily out, quite literally, at least three times a day. She, of course, still hated James' guts and had a witty refusal for each time. Still, James never gave up and continued his obsessive phase. And I do mean obsessive. I believe that one day he followed her around for the sole purpose of smelling her. After five years of 'Evans, will you go out with me?' and 'Not in a million years, Potter', the no longer itty-bitty James Potter decided it was time to grow up. He was now Quidditch captain and Head Boy. He decided that to capture the heart of Miss Evans, he would become more mature. He decided to give up pranks, give up all the FUN and become the mature one. He was almost as mature as MOONY! Surprisingly enough, James' plan worked. I still clearly remember the day she finally agreed to go out with him. If I remember correctly, we snuck into Hogsmeade and snuck back a couple bottles of firewhiskey which we finished. Sorry, Professor! Minnie's giving me an evil look, now. Oh, right. Some of you won't know. Professor Minerva McGonagall was our Transfiguration teacher and our head of house. Minnie was our pet name for her. Deep down, she liked it. I know it." Sirius Proceeded to wink at his former teacher. "So yeah, Lily Evans started to date James Potter. Now, only a few years later, they are getting married. Or, I guess, just have. This story COULD have a moral like, 'Persistence pays off' or some of that rubbish, but I believe that really, this just makes a good story. So congratulations to the happy couple, Lily and James. I hope you have lots of happy times and make many babies and that sort of stuff. Thank you."
A/N2: I hope you liked that! PLEASE REVIEW! As a birthday present? PLEASE??