bTitle:/b May You Never (Make Your Bed Out In The Cold)
bAuthor:/b lj user=raiden_x
bCharacters:/b Cook & JJ (or Cook/JJ if you want to read it that way)
bSummary:/b Freddie may look after him, but JJ's the one who fixes him.
bWarning:/b Brief allusions to child abuse. Never spoken about specifically, but some people will pick up on it.
bDisclaimer:/b E4 owns the TV show 'Skins' and all characters related. I do not claim to own any of the characters mentioned in the following work of fiction.
He loves Freddie. Has a place on his heart with Freddie's name carved in it that will be there long after he's dead and gone. Because Freddie loves him and always looks after him. He protects Cook from the world and himself. Pulls him back from an edge Cook never realizes he's stepped on and over. And fuck if he doesn't love Freddie for it.
But Freddie doesn't put him back together when he needs to be fixed. Because everyone that has ever had the displeasure of meeting Cook knows that he is broken. There's something in his head that just doesn't work right but that's ok, he thinks. That's ok because he doesn't need to fix it by himself.
JJ wakes to warm weight against his side. He doesn't need to open his eyes to know what it is and what it means. Knows Cook has climbed through his window at some point during the night. Knows he's tugged everything but his boxers and socks off and knows that Cook will have his face pressed into JJ's side.
It had become a recurring 'thing' about 6 months ago after an unusually bad night. JJ had declined Cook's offer to go out, his anxiety being too much to bear after an embarrassing encounter with the pretty girl from the corner shop. He'd woken at 3am to a knocking at his window and within moments someone was tumbling in, a blur of limbs and flash of colour and suddenly he had Cook in his bed. There was a beat of stillness where JJ thought the boy had fallen asleep but then he was there, whimpering and pulling at JJ like a lost child, blood smearing across JJ's shoulder & cheek and Cook was in his arms. He doesn't know when they fell asleep.
The next morning his bed was empty, his room was tidy and his window was closed but there was still blood on his cheek.
It happened again; a week later and Cook was in JJ's bed once more. More blood and his face was pushed into JJ's shoulder, hiding while hidden secrets, thoughts & emotions fell out of Cook's mouth and onto the warm skin below. "Fucking cunt", "feel like something is missing", "told me I was worthless", "never did sleep with that bird", "always hit me when I was a kid", "do you love me?", "why did they leave?", "always tired", "broken. It's broken in there". And JJ just held him while he listened. He figured it was the least he could do.
Now he leaves his window open a crack and has a stool underneath. He sleeps on the wall-side of his bed so Cook doesn't have to climb over him at night.
He cracks an eye open to check the time, 4.16, and shifts to face the body next to him. There's no blood this time, no tensed jaw and scrunched eyes. Just a teenager who looks like a boy in his sleep. JJ leans forward and brushes the hair out of Cook's eyes. He gets a groan in return and then brown eyes are on him, blinking the sleep clear.
"It's ok Cook. It's ok"
"NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!"
JJ flinches only slightly but it doesn't go unnoticed and a small sob slips from Cook's lips. JJ opens his arms, pats his shoulder and in a blink of an eye Cook is pressed up against him. Resting his head on the warm chest below him, he takes a second to get comfortable with his arm draped across JJ's stomach and side. He shifts once more and relaxes into his friends' easy embrace.
"Couldn't sleep. Kept thinking about that time with mum's ex."
JJ makes a small noise of understanding and begins to run his hands through the dirty hair below. He knows what Cook's talking about without asking. 6 months is a long time and he now knows every intimate detail of the boys' life. The very thought of 'mums ex' makes his stomach churn but he don't show it.
"Kept picturing him in the bathroom every time I closed my eyes. Couldn't help it! FUCK!"
He can feel the warmth of tears on his skin, just a touch but it breaks JJ's heart none the less. He pulls Cook closer and murmurs comfort into his ear. He doesn't know what else to do but Cook never seems to mind.
"Always fixing me" he whispers into soft skin, sealing it with a small kiss and it feels like there's a vice grip on JJ's heart. Because who'd ever thought that he, JJ the weird retarded kid, could ever be so much to someone?
He presses a kiss into the top of Cook's head and wraps an arm around his waist to keep him close, sleep tugging at the corners of his mind.
"Always fix you. Never stop"