So this is It. The End. The Grand Finale. The permanent deceasement of TVF.
LOLJK we still got that summer story to get through :)
So I had a pretty good weekend full of smokin' hot runs (i LOVE my horse!), a hazy saturday night with lots of lying in the grass, getting stuck in porta-potties, and falling down (i love alcohol) and of course chillin with my favourite non-Vampires. But of course the Vamps were there the whole time, and our adventures have inspired future events in the summer fic!
Funnily enough, the tournament was held in a little town called Paris. Tehe, Paris. xo :)
Imma spread some love since this fic is finally done...i havent done this in ages!
TanyaRayne aww hell, at least ya came back :) and of course he did! although i was beginning to have my doubts.
Slytherin Queen 1.30 omg thank you so much :D *blushes* jk im not a blusher. but thanks! :) and i lovee your pen name xo
daylightvampire tehe! Feral is indeed the word! Oh yes I most certainly am glad to be done with this monster...but it's been fun :D
ferretgirlsz thank you sweetheart :) your goodluck was indeed with me.
I-Love-Mika-And-Gavner yay :D i love when people get hyper and almost piss themselves cuz of something i wrote...xo!
Peridot Tears YES! THE IGUANA HAS A FOREVER HOME! :D xo your reviews make me so happy :) Omg I remember the good old days of Squirrelflight butting in on Vampires On Vacation..
and thats just for the last chapter, the last several have also had some amazing reviews that i will treasure till im dead and maybe even after that!
On to the end!
Walking across the beach was the easy part. The hard part came when it was time to swim out several hundred feet and climb the ladder up into the boat. Since there was nowhere to dock, running onto the vehicle ramp wasn't an option.
Before they even entered the water, Mika escaped and attempted to sprint across the beach back into the woods. However his ankles were still tied so he managed to take several mighty hops before he wiped out face-down in the waves, howling muffled profanity. Then Seba made a comment about sharks, and this caused Kurda to strongly and loudly oppose getting in the water. However, with some encouraging words by Harkat, a snappy pep-talk by Larten, a promise that sharks only eat seaweed by Paris (he had his fingers crossed behind his back, but Kurda bought it) and some shoving and punching by Arrow, everyone eventually made it to the boat. Despite Seba almost drowning and taking Darren down with him, the Gang had never been in a better mood as they hauled ass up the ladder. The climb was unexpectedly physically demanding, but it was worth it the moment they all flopped onto the deck.
"Ohh...my...EEEEK!" Kurda squealed. "When the safety rails and the life rafts are colour-coordinated, you just know there's a gift shop somewhere!"
"Look at the big frickin' spinny thing!" Arrow yelled appreciatively, looking over the side at the propeller.
"This could be classified as an abomination." Seba groaned, not liking how the boat rocked in the waves.
Darren wondered how he could possibly raise the impossible heavy anchor who's chain had almost snapped him in half when he'd lowered/dropped it.
"I WANNA GO HOME!" Mika bellowed, trying to fling himself overboard.
"We are going home, idiot. We don't live on the friggen island." Arrow snapped. "We live in Vampire Mountain, remember? VAMPIRE. MOUNTAIN."
Darren had an idea.
"Yoo, Mika. If you help us pull the anchor up first, you can go back to the Island."
Mika dragged the anchor up with a few quick yanks, and the proceeded to leap off the side of the boat. Unfortunately for him, Arrow and Darren grabbed his ankles just in time, and Mika smashed face-first into the side of the boat.
Once Mika was secure again, Darren hustled everyone up to the control room where he proudly showed them the complex panel of instruments he'd used to navigate the ship right into this very spot.
"Oh please, Darren. This is a peace of easy pie." said Paris.
Darren decided to figure out if real-life Paris was as smart as drunken-hallucination Paris.
"Aight, Smartyparis. How do we get back to civilization?"
Paris took a deep breath and recited:
"Green button. Then pull the lever till it's on the red square. And don't forget the steering wheel. When you get to open water, you can program your destination into the built-in GPS, then put it on cruise control."
"How you knowin that, Paris?" Darren questioned, considerably more sober than last time he said it.
"I sailed around the world once, when i was 152. Took about a week."
"They had GPS and cruise control back then?"
"Nah. I'm just terribly terribly itelligent."
No one could figure out why Darren found this so humorous.
"We've already had this conversation!" Darren giggled, hugging Paris tightly.
"Whatever you say, Darren..." said Paris, returning the gesture.
Several minutes later,
"Darren, is the fact that you havent let go yet a way of asking me if I can pretty please drive the boat back to wherever it came from and let you have some relaxation?"
Darren grinned widely. "The adress is still in the GPS."
"Good thing I like boats." said Paris happily, immediatey fiddling with the sonar maps, cruise control, GPS, locational computing devices, and pulling and flicking various knobs and levers. Finally, he gave the wheel a good crank to the left, and the boat executed a sharp right turn which flung everyone else into the wall.
"Charna's guts, warn us before you do that." Larten grunted, unearthing himself from under Seba who appeared to be literally holding back vomit.
"By doing this?" said Paris, pulling a handle.
HAAAAWWWNNKKKK, said the boat.
Seba screamed almost as loud as the horn, and banged his head against the wall. Arrow and Harkat demanded a turn with the horn, and soon they were using it to compose a new song in which lyrics were unecessary.
Paris got right into the art of boating, and managed to get it going twice as fast as Darren had on the way there, and even used the GPS-enabled on-board computer to book dinner reservations at Mr. Frog's Luau for when they arrived in Florida.
Once things were really rolling, Darren sat down in the Assistant Captain's chair, and waited for his friends to go nuts and do typical boating activities (such as climbing poles and ladders until they were 100 feet above the deck, dangling over the side, throwing each other overboard, hijacking lifeboats, that sort of thing). But instead, they all suprised him by-sitting down and making themselves comfortable? Darren felt compelled to ask, "Who are you and what have you done with my Vampires?" but he decided to just go with it for now.
Arrow's head still didn't feel quite right from when Mika tackle-captured him. It was badly bruised in one spot, he had quite a headache, and was still seeing a pink sky. He found an ice-pack in the fridge beside the juice boxes, dug a mound of blankets out of a little closet beside the bathroom, wrapped himself up, and settled down in a beach chair.
Harkat joyously chugged 7 strawberry kiwi juiceboxes then managed to stay awake for long enough to grab a little blanket, then curled up under Arrow's chair for what looked like the happiest sleep of his life.
Darren allowed Mika to play with the sonar-operated fish-finding radar system, and he became so fascinated he forgot all about being an Evil Island Emperor and was soon lying flat on th floor snoring even louder than Seba.
Kurda started brushing his hair with a fork, but fell asleep halfway through with his head on Seba's shoulder, who had dozed off mid-complaint. Larten got himslf as far away from Mika as possible and slept in the corner with a ornamental harpoon he'd pulled off the wall, just in case. But there seemed to be no need to fear Mika any longer, as he was curled up on the floor in a very cute manner.
And Paris looked to be nicely in control of the ship, so Darren felt it was finally time to lean his head on the control panel and -
For the first time in days, his dreams weren't haunted by sandcastle-building Harkat, surfing Mika, beach-reading Paris, hula-skirted Kurda, sunscreen-applying Larten, tourist-punching Arrow, and ice cream truck-attacking Seba.
And he slept in perfect peace until Harkat accidentally spilled a strawberry-kiwi juicebox in his ear.
Yes, they'd all woken up, Darren determined as he got up and looked around. Like toddlers after a sugar crash, they'd regained their energy and were climbing up the walls. Quite literally, in the case of Mika and Arrow who were searching for the "secret ammunition room" which they seemed certain that "ALL boats had. I mean, what's a boat without a freakin cannon?"
"Is this a pirate ship?" Kurda inquired. "It has a map that shows where the treasure is buried!" he pointed happily at a framed map up on the wall, which seemed to show the Florida coastline, with X's to mark where the best hotels were.
"Yeah, Kurda." said Mika, sounding like his old grumpy-but-not-evil self. "It's a pirate ship with computerized navigation and a cafeteria."
"THERE'S A CAFETERIA?" Harkat gasped.
"It's a boat for transporting large amounts of humans, Harkat. Of course there's a place to consume mass amounts of junk food. Humans are pigs."
"I wouldn't talk there, Mr. Ver Leth. How many times have we, especially you, trashed food venues?" said Paris.
Mika rolled his eyes in his special little way.
"We're pirates." Kurda declared.
"Yarr matey, booty, plundering, walk the plank, and all that." Seba blabbered.
"Vampirates." Darren added with a giggle.
"And a...Little Pirate!" Harkat interjected.
"I already made us a flag!" Kurda squealed delightedly, holding up a hot pink handkerchief he'd dug out of a drawer beneath the computer. On it, he'd drawn a skull, only instead of cross-bones, there appeared to be hair straighteners.
"No Kurda, you made you a flag." said Arrow. "Lets do this right. We'll make a legit Vampirate flag. Harkat, please bring me that, that, and that." he requested, pointing at a bouquet of colourful flags in the corner of the control room. If there was one thing ships had no shortage of, it was flags.
It took quite a bit of scissoring, gluing, arguing, and pre-planning to create a personalized Vampirate flag, and when the first one was nearing completion, Seba became sea-sick all over it. Then it became necessary to start over.
By the time the Vampirates raised their new coat of arms on the highest level of the ship, the Floridian coastline was in site.
"And we didn't even get to plunder anyone." Kurda sniffed sadly.
Harkat patted his elbow. "But we have...a cooler flag...than actual pirates."
The flag depicted a skull with Vampire teeth (suggested by Paris to fool the little humans into believing Vampires actually had fangs.) in the middle of an Escalade logo.
"I miss our Essie." Darren sighed, observing the flag as he leaned against the navigational computer.
"I miss my Hummer." Arrow added.
"I forgot you obtained one of those abominations-SWEET CHARNA, I MUST STOP USING THAT WORD!" Larten flipped.
"Are you gonna miss the boat, Paris?" Darren inquired. Paris was indeed having an excellent time.
"I don't have to miss it. It's coming back to Vampire Mountain with us." Paris announced perkily.
"I know we miraculously transport a lot of unlikely items up to the Mountain, but really, how do you plan on getting THIS there?" Larten snorted.
"Well it will be docked at the nearest port to the Mountain, but I will legally own it. I had a little conversation with the company who owns it via the radio while you were napping." the ancient Prince informed them. "I said some things that I am not proud of, but the boat is now legally mine." he concluded as though that was the end of the matter. Darren didn't want to know anyway.
"Also, future Festivals of the Undead will be held at our Island and we will be using this boat to transport the entire Vampire population to said Island." he added as an afterthought.
"WHAT?" said Mika, Arrow, and Larten in unison.
"I didn't say anything." said Paris quizzically. "Go about your business."
Mika, Arrow, and Larten looked at Paris suspiciously. Harkat blew a bubble in his juice box. Kurda used a screwdriver as a nail file. Seba muttered about walking the plank.
And Darren was absolutely the happiest Vampirate on earth. He had his own boat. He had a unique flag. He had his crew back. He was thinking all these cheezy thoughts to himself and figured he just might explode from delight.
And then Harkat (who had been fish-watching) fell overboard and barely managed to save himself by grabbing the side handle. He dangled there while Mika bellowed at Kurda for not supervising him, Arrow tried to save Harkat but was shoved overboard by Seba who was on a furious rampage after discovering they were docking at Florida rather than home. Arrow screamed like he was being stabbed, Larten yelled, "HE CANNOT SWIM!" and flung the rescue floater over the side, but it whacked Harkat in the noggin and he plummeted into the water beside Arrow and shrieked similarly. He apparently had a crippling fear of jellyfish. Mika picked Kurda up and hung him over the side by his ankles, using him as a living rescue rope.
Darren wondered if it was too late to take them back to the Island.
And there you have it. CAN NOT believe this was supposed to be a short New Year's celebratory fic. Wowie wow wow. This has officially been the longest and most-reviewed thing I have ever written.
I wanted to expand on the Vampirate concept, but meh. Maybe in a later story.
Love you guys! See ya at the next update of the summer fic! Which is yet to recieve a better title btw.