I know that I love to read the notes that authors write down during their writing process. I love to read the ideas they had before they were fleshed out or anything they didnt put in. I typed all my notes in a page below my story, so here they are. I dont actually have any deleted scenes. I had this one pretty well planned out, so everything I wrote stayed. However, the next two stories may have more deleted scenes. These are just rough notes and observations.


Michael gets all self-righteous because he finds out about B/J fight/breakup and thinks he was right. So he says some asshole things to Justin? Brian?.




Makeup scene

Tell Brian about Lindsay and Melanie moving back. [Lying in bed. "Oh shit! I forgot to tell you Mel and Linds are moving back to Pittsburgh."]

Justin and Lindsay talk about Justin moving back from New York. Lindsay doesn't understand and thinks he should still be in NY. Justin tells her that New York was her dream, not his, and indirectly [or directly] accusing her of both wanting Brian for herself and wanting to break them up. (moving day)

Brian tells Michael that they have absolutely nothing in common anymore.

Art show, Lindsay, Michael, crash, argument, some other sort of drama (Lindsay?), bashing anniversary, end.

Emmett and Ted talking about their support

The trio go to Lindsay's, get the papers

Process started, Lindsay freaking

Brian's Bday, custody will be granted within a week, Lindsay steals JRs college fund?

Bashing anniversary

Lindsay's, confront her.

"Give. It. To. Him." With hand out. Get papers, begin process

Ted and Emmett etc being nice and helping Justin and Brian. [They find out about Lindsay being a bitch]

Awesome sex scene



Debbie was in the diner when Mel was talking to Emmett and Ted about Lindsay. She tells Michael, who tells Lindsay, who freaks out and hides the document showing that Brian gave his custody to Melanie, which Mel needs in order to change custody again.

"That would be like saying Brian doesn't understand why you think I'm 'The One.'"

"But that's easy. I love you and you love me. We're married. We have children and a home and everything. It's obvious that you're the one."

Lindsay plotting?

"He's making you stay."

"Havent you gotten this through your head already? He's not making me do anything. I can think for myself."

"He's right, Honey. Brian's not forcing him to stay in Pittsburgh. He wants to."

Hand not strong enough to carry

Lindsay and Michael and the rest of Brian's friends set the bar very low for him. They expect him to be an asshole and flaky and things.

Michael gets so wrapped up in his own shit, he doesn't notice or care about other people's.

Moving day, awkwardness w/ B and M. M pissy J?

"He's nowhere near all-better. He's nowhere near okay."

Michael and Emmett tell Justin how much of a wreck Brian was while Justin was gone

Justin asks Brian to tell him about Jack and Joan?

Justin in minor car accident w/ Daphne just after he and Brian get together again.

Bedside manner

Gus POV?

Brian tells Justin that he is scared of losing him again—the bombing, the bashing etc. He doesn't want to see that again and it scares the shit out of him.

Brian emoing anniversary of bashing, w/ scarf, "Have you done this the past 3 years?" "I've done this every year, you were never around to see"


Brian shaking

Brian admits to being at the hospital each night in a fit of anger. It just sort of comes out while he's yelling.

Justin's heart stopped in the ambulance

"silent scream in my head"

"ripped open"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Pacing in night, unable to sleep, thoughts, insomnia, fear

Brian has nightmare and clutching at Justin

Scared, guilty, uncertain

Brian crying

"Don't. Just don't. Don't you dare. Don't you dare die on me. Don't go."

Brian pushing into Justin's hand on his face

Tried to keep him safe. Cant keep anyone safe.


Random thought: Was Brian also sort of jealous of Justin? Brian got the NY offer in S1, but was turned down. All his success is in Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh only. Justin gets and NY offer and goes. Jealous?

Tricking scene/The Nothing Song= ep 3.02

Emmett and Drew or Emmett and Calvin

Ted and Emmett always together. Ted and Blake.

What happened to Lupe? And is Emmett still living Debbie's? Calvin?

Emmett and Calvin don't really know each other. Ted and Blake have known each other for years. Why did they act like complete strangers in 513?

How did you manage to break every rule I ever made?

Emmett observant, neutral

Lindsay is a complete bitch? More jealous/selfish than most people thought. She wants things only for herself and lives "vicariously" through Justin. She couldn't make it to New York so she forces/convinces Justin to go live her dream under the guise that it's good for him. Lindsay jealous of Justin? Wants Brian for herself?

Justin wants an emotional display that Brian cannot give—leaves?

Justin easier for Brian to talk to both on an intellectual level and on any other level because Justin understands him and Michael doesn't.

Brian's style is modernist and minimalist. Likes Italian style. Green appears in the loft as his and Justin's relationship moves forward. (First just one ugly, large-leafed plant. Then ferns. Then small, low boxes of grass.)

Brian is very very tactile. More touchy-feely. He reaches out to Justin more than Justin reaches out to him. He touches people more often. Hand on Justin's neck or shoulder. Clapping Ted on the shoulder. Kissing Linds' cheek. Ruffling Gus' hair or Justin's hair, arm around Michael. He touches people more when he is upset or freaked out than he does when he's in a good mood.

Brian is much, much, much more insecure than Justin, on almost every level.

Observation: Brian never fucks anyone from the front except Justin. Brian's hands are always in Justin's hair. Justin often covers his eyes when he and Brian fuck.

Brian realizes that he no longer needs Mikey to be his love and attention because he has Justin. Michael only wants to make up with Brian because he wants Justin gone and he wants to be the one that Brian depends on. But Brian doesn't want that any more because he knows he can tell Justin things that he can never tell Mikey because Michael will have a bias or an opinion or thinks that's out of character for him because Mikey stills sees Brian as the asshole arrogant slut he was in high school. Brian has changed; he hasn't been that person since he met Justin. Michael wants the "Brian and Mikey" show back. Brian doesn't. Plus the fact that Michael really hurt Brian with his comment about B/J not being a real couple.

Observation: Brian never held out his arms for anyone (ep 2.03). Justin makes him vulnerable.

Michael still acts like he's 14 or 15, and he still overreacts and reacts in the same way. Michael still cares more about himself than others and gets so wrapped up in his own ideas and his own problems and his own shit that he doesn't notice or try to help anyone else. Brian tries to help everyone in different ways. He gives everyone help or money or money for help, and the reason no one notices is because he doesn't accept or want thanks. If Michael helped someone, he'd automatically expect thanks and maybe even think that person is now obligated to help him. Brian does not do that.

Brian's motto and manifesto seem epicurean and hedonistic, but he does not follow them. He obviously has regrets (the fiddler, not being with Gus in the beginning of his childhood, Justin leaving at different points, etc), and his pleasure is only minimal. He never seems to be truly happy. The exception to this seems to be when he is with Gus, Justin's prom (which obviously backfired) and very few other small, simple times such as just after Stockwell or when Justin gets back from LA. He does not only worry about himself, but also about Justin, all his friends, Debbie and Carl, and the welfare of Liberty Avenue in general. His material possessions and conquests of pleasure are more like a façade, or at least something to simply make him feel comfortable and in control.

Michael's definition of a relationship= marriage, kids, house, monogamy, total commitment, community and neighborhood, conventional "love", confirmation/legality/permission from gov, sappy romance or cheesy marriage soap thing,

Michael is selfish while Brian is selfless. Justin is strong, incredibly so. Ben puts up with a lot from Michael. Brian and Justin have more connection and understanding between them than any of the other pairs.

Prequel about Gus and Toronto and the girls? [Tweak timeline]

Prequel [Beginning and end planned, middle already sketched out a little]

Sequel thingie? [Sort of planned. Ask readers for ideas]

(Go through process of custody, stuff about Mel and Linds, Gus, maybe more about Ted and Emmett?)