Note: This chapter touches some adult themes. Nothing hardcore, but if you're uncomfortable with that sort of thing, you shouldn't read what's after Sam and Rika's discussion in the beginning. Rated R, just in case.
Chapter 8 – All You Wanted
I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I'd take you away
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
Michelle Branch - All You Wanted
Sam hadn't slept all that well that night. All he could think about was her. He couldn't deny that he felt better knowing she wasn't that vulnerable. Her knowing about demons also made it easier for him, he didn't have to worry about her reaction to his so called 'profession'. A weight had partially lifted from his heart when he found out about her true identity.
The next morning the Winchesters couldn't do much. They were just waiting for Rika to give them a call once she and her Watcher had tracked Belphegor. Dean got bored pretty quickly and told Sam he was going to 'go pick up some chicks' in order to 'kill time', so Sam was left alone, as usual. He didn't have anything elso to do, so he started strolling around Boston, taking in the surroundings and the city.
Without even realizing it, he suddenly found himself outside Rika's apartment block. He was tempted to find out whether she was at home. She shouldn't be anywhere, seeing as she shouldn't have any classes on a Saturday. And he really wished he could find out more about her, talk to her. There was something about her that intrigued him and drew him in.
He went inside and walked up the stairs. Rika was at home, he could hear some music coming from inside her apartment. He swallowed once before he mustered up the courage to knock on her door. It didn't take long before she opened. She looked surprised at seeing him there. She was even more beautiful this morning than the morning before. She wore a black off-the-shoulder t-shirt, a pair of skinny blue jeans and she was barefeet. Her hair was slightly messy and the silver cross she wore around her neck contrasted beautifully against her light, Scandinavian skin. She had a mechanical pencil tucked behind her hear, and it made her look slightly geeky, but Sam liked it. He thought it was adorable.
"Sam!", she exclaimed. "What are you doing here? We're not tracking the demon until tonight."
"I know", he answered and smiled. "Dean went off to get a drink or something, and I had nothing better to do. Can I come in?
Rika smiled and Sam got a very pleasant tingly feeling in his stomach. "Go ahead", she said and took a step back allowing him to pass. "I was doing some writing, so just let me go turn my computer off. Make yourself at home in the living room."
Sam slowly walked into the living room with his hands in his pockets and stopped to look at the photos on her wall. There was one of a younger Rika. She was wearing a black, strapless dress, she was holding a heap of roses in different colours and she had a white hat with a black peak. She looked so happy and radiant.
He suddenly realized she was standing next to him, and he carefully glanced towards her. She only reached to the height of his shoulders. There was a gap between them, and she had her arms crossed, her hands resting on her shoulders. Even Sam wasn't touching her, he was aware of how close to him she actually was.
"My high school graduation", she said. "Back when I had a life."
"Yeah, I know the feeling", he said with a sad smile.
She turned towards him and took a step closer.
"It's easier for you two though", she said, with a sad look in her eyes. "You two could quit if you wanted to. I can't. This isn't a job for me, it's who I am. My destiny. I can never quit."
Sam nodded and listened to her as she continued.
"Basically, I come from a long line of women who don't make it past 25, not normally at least", she said with an ironic laugh. "My time is starting to run out, huh?"
"No", Sam said with his jaw clenched in an attempt to comfort her and shook his head. "I won't let that happen."
She gave him a sad smile, like she didn't believe him. Rika knew there was nothing Sam could do for her. When the time came for her to die, she would. It was all just part of the sacrifice.
With a certain struggle Sam turned away from staring into her eyes and instead he looked at a picture of her, with someone he could only assume were her parents and a younger brother. "Do you miss your family?", he asked.
"I do, more than I can even express in words", she replied, that sad half-smile still lingering on her lips. "But it's better this way. If I was around constantly, they'd be in danger. I see them every once in a while, though. I went back home for Christmas. They're proud of me, my studies and all. I try to act normal around them and keep them in the loop about the non-slaying related things in my life."
"Do they know?", he asked.
"No", she said. "They have no idea. I'm not going to tell them either. I want them to have normal, long and healthy lives, especially my brother. He deserves something normal, and I can't be a part of that."
Sam found himself once again looking the silver cross around her neck. He had also seen a Bible in the bookshelf and he had to admit he was curious. "So, your cross? Do you, uh, believe?", he asked.
"I do, actually", she said with a smile and started fiddling with the cross around her neck. "I don't think I could carry on if I didn't, with all the nasty things I've seen. I need to believe in something good. Plus there's a bonus to it, vamps get burned by crosses."
"That makes sense", Sam replied. "Dean doesn't really believe in anything, and I sort of feel sorry for him."
She smiled and they stayed quiet for a while, just looking at each other. Every nerve in Sam's body seemed to be humming with excitement for some strange reason. Ever since Jessica died, he hadn't considered other girls that many times. Whatever needs he had had he'd taken care of those in secrecy from Dean with some Casa Erotica and an extra long shower. But he couldn't deny that he too craved a woman's touch. It had been too long, and he wanted that intimacy, to feel close to someone again. And there was something about Rika... He was so comfortable with her, like he'd known her for years. She was smart, witty and extremely beautiful.
He couldn't stop thinking about her, the way she smelled and those seemingly so soft, perfectly shaped lips. Maybe he was ready. All he could think about at the moment was how badly he wanted to kiss her. And that was when he made his decision. He leaned closer, his gaze never moving away from hers, she tensed for a bit but stood perfectly still, and then, just to try the waters, his lips brushed up against hers for merely a few seconds. Her lips were indeed soft. A light puff of air escaped from in between her slightly parted lips and her sweet breath made his knees go weak. Even though their lips didn't touch for long, he could taste her and it was amazing. She tasted of vanilla, wild strawberries and something very pleasant, slightly spicy. The kiss didn't last nearly long enough before they pulled away from each other
"So, uh–". She smiled at him and looked into his eyes but she didn't get to finish, her phone rang, and he heard her sigh as she answered it.
"Hej", she said, then listened to what the other person was saying at the other end. "Nej, jag tror inte att jag kommer hem. Jag håller på med min avhandling, så jag hinner inte."
Sam listened her speak in a language he could only assume was Swedish. It sounded very melodic to him, almost as if she was singing.
"Jo, jag lovar", he heard her continue. "Jag kommer hem i början av juni bara jag är färdig. Hejdå." She hung up.
"Everything okay?", Sam asked.
"Yeah", she replied with a smile, looking slightly guilty. "Mom was just wondering if I'm coming home for Easter and I told her I wasn't. So, where were we?"
Sam smiled and leaned in for another kiss. They started out with a couple of soft tries, but soon the kiss grew more passionate and urgent. They increased the pressure with each kiss, trying, experimenting. Sam's hands travelled to the small of her back, pulling her closer, drawing her in. It felt like no matter what he did she wasn't close enough, and he needed her.
Rika tangled her hands in the hair on the back of his neck, softly scratching and massaging, and the soft moan he let out only to be muffled into her mouth let her know that he liked it. And she too wanted more, so she parted her lips slightly, hoping he'd take the hint that she wanted to deepen their kiss. Sam couldn't deny that he wanted it too, more than anything, so he opened his lips and soon his tongue was in her mouth. He got the strange, but very pleasant, tingly feeling in his stomach again.
Rika felt like she was melting into Sam's arms. This was the best kiss she had ever had. Clearly above average. The things his tongue was doing inside of her mouth... She hadn't felt this way in a long time. She felt like she was about to burst with the electricity between them. She whimpered as he pulled her even closer towards him, it just felt right. She needed more. She never wanted him to let go.
Suddenly she felt him picking her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to get even closer. Was it even possible? The friction between their bodies was delicious, and the bulge she could feel at the front of his jeans made her happy. It meant that the want and need was mutual.
Sam stumbled backwards towards the couch, and before she knew it he was sitting on the couch while she straddled him, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. She heard him moan as she tugged at his hair. She moved her hands from around his neck, starting to unbutton his shirt. When she opened the last button, she yanked the shirt off of him and threw it in the corner. His lips were no longer on hers, instead he was kissing his way along her jaw and down her neck to her collarbone, and it made her shiver slightly with pleasure.
She could feel his warm breath tickle her ear as he whispered "Not here". He got back up from the couch with Rika still wrapped around him. Never ceasing to kiss they slowly made their way towards her bedroom and carefully he placed her on her bed. He followed suit, slowly crawling up her body, easing himself over her. He stopped for a moment, just to look at her. Her lips were red and slightly swollen from his kisses, her eyes clouded with lust and she looked breathtaking – almost as if she were glowing. He had made her look like this, and it made him feel slightly proud.
"Don't stop", she whispered. It didn't feel right when he wasn't touching her. She looked up at him, really taking in his body. God, he really had the most perfectly shaped abs she'd ever laid her eyes on. Her hands moved up to tenderly run down his arms. She just wanted to touch him.
"I won't", he whispered back and looked at her with a big smile, hovering just inches above her face.
Finally his lips were on hers again. He stroked her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear and then let his hand continue down her neck causing her to shiver once more. The need and want he was creating within her was driving her insane and it scared her slightly. Still, she arched against him, grinding into him, to encourage his ministration.
Before she knew it his hands were on her waist, under the fabric of her shirt, and he finally pulled it off. She was still wearing too many clothes, he was still wearing too many clothes. She kissed his neck, making him groan, as she started unbuckling his belt and undid the fastening on his jeans. He quickly kicked them off his legs, and then he unfastened hers, pulling the jeans off her one leg at a time.
She reveled in the feeling of his rough, large hands roaming their way up her naked thigh, making their way up to her hips where his fingers fluttered along the sensitive skin there. With a tight hold of her hips he placed hot, open mouthed kisses along her stomach, teasing the fabric of her bra with his tongue until the small buds hidden underneath were taunt. All the time her listened to the soft sounds she made, sighs and sweet little moans. He stopped for a moment as his hands snook under her back where he unclasped her bra and three it on the floor. Her underpants closely followed by his boxers quickly followed suit.
All the pieces of clothing, the only things separating Sam from the woman of his dreams, were now removed. She reached out towards the drawer of her nightstand, opened it and in one swift movement she pulled out a condom wrapper. He took it from her and with fingers trembling slightly from excitement he managed to put it on. Sam was completely lost in ecstasy and ultimate bliss. He couldn't control himself anymore. Their lips touched once more and he eased further into her, spreading her thighs and with one, slow thrust he was inside of her. She didn't need long to adjust to him. It was a perfect match, their bodies together. He couldn't imagine being there with anyone else. And for once, he didn't think of Jessica.
He stopped kissing her for a moment, and instead rested his forehead against her while he kept moving with slow, gentle trusts. She looked back into his eyes and smiled. He dipped his head down, moving to kiss her neck again and when he found a particularily sweet spot underneath her ear she gasped and bucked her hips into his. The movement drove him deeper inside of him and Sam cringed, letting his eyes rolled back in exstasy while he tried not screaming out in pleasure.
Rika whimpered and started trying to grasp the the pillows her head was resting on, moving restlessly underneath him. She moved her hands to his neck once more, then slowly down his spine with a ghostly touch, carefully scratching his back with her nails. She made a mental note that he liked it, since he groaned and increased his pace.
Sam could hear her panting, and he realized he was too. He moved his hands under her back and pulled them both up. They were sitting there, his arms holding her close to his body, still inside of her. They moved together in a slow pace, a perfectly synchronized rhythm. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. She was trying to say something, but she couldn't get the words out, only small cracked sounds. They fell back down on the bed and Sam suckled softly on her neck, moving faster and deeper until they were both on the brink. Soon she was left gasping his name, arching back while he felt her tremors tighten around him. He quickly followed.
They were both panting heavily, and he pulled her closer him after pulling out, embracing her. They were laying in silence in her bed, waiting for the beating of their hearts to slow down. Sam pulled the white covers over them and they just looked at each other, closed in a tender embrace, whispering sweet nothings while laying soft touches on each other.
A while later, Sam was laying on his back and she was laying on top of his chest. His hands were resting on her bare back, just above where the covers begun at the curve of her behind. Her hair fell in a cascade around their faces while she softly stroked his. He looked up at her beautiful face and realized he'd never want to look into another woman's eyes the way he was looking into hers right now. At that moment he knew he was caught, he couldn't lose this girl. We wanted to feel like this all the time, completely at ease.
"You okay?", he asked. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine", she replied and gave him that smile he so loved. "And I'm feeling great."
She kissed his forehead and he just held her. She moved, quietly, and he kept her close to his side in his embrace. Soon, they fell asleep in each other's arms, feeling completely at ease.