He wished the colonel would stop doing that, or else he was going to give into one of two impulses; whether that be lunging across the desk and tearing his head from his shoulders or doing something absolutely inappropriate to his pale throat. Ed tried not to cringe as he did it again, and turned back to his own work. Maybe he was going insane, nothing about the colonel had changed in the last few days or had he really just never noticed? Of course, he wasn't completely blind he knew that Roy Mustang was an attractive man, otherwise there was no way in the world he would have had the reputation he did. But this, this was ridiculous. Ed had always been overly attracted to a person's neck; something about it just seemed to excite him. Yet, somehow, he'd managed to ignore Colonel Mustang as any sort of…intimate figure -until this point that is. And if that god damned man didn't stop setting down his pen to rub at the back of his neck Edward was just going to snap. It wasn't his fault the bastard had decided to station him in this office while they remodeled the front room and that in his own damned office he deemed it perfectly alright to take off the heavy blue jacket and undo the top-two buttons of his undershirt revealing the neat hollows where his throat sank into his shoulders. Edward realized he was staring again, took a deep breath and tried to look away but just as he did Roy set his pen on the desk, lifted his hand and: "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ed shouted slamming his own writing utensil down before he could stop himself. Roy gave him a confused glance.
Shaking his head slightly, Ed took another calming breath. "Your neck," he muttered, not making eye contact. "You keep rubbing at it, I can see it out of the corner of my eye every time you move, 's fucking distracting."
"Oh," Mustang sighed, still rubbing his neck. "Just slept wrong, and doing all this paperwork is no help." Ed just nodded and went back to his own work, glad that Roy hadn't said anything about his staring, though he was sure he'd been caught. Somewhere deep down he wondered what would happen if he really did give into his impulses, hell, maybe he could even get away with it.
It was almost an hour of pure torture later that Colonel Mustang cleared his throat pointedly, making Edward look at him. "What?" He growled, not particularly in the best of moods. He'd been hard-up since practically the beginning of the day and unable to do a damn thing about it, that tended to piss him off royally.
"Could you come here for a moment?" Ed grated his teeth.
"What for?" It came out a little hoarser than he'd planned, but he'd just have to roll with it now.
"I don't believe I have to explain myself to you Fullmetal," Roy smirked, crooking a finger in beckoning.
"Oh, fuck you." Edward growled, slamming his hands on the desktop in an attempt to make the careful way he stood just a little less obvious.
"Well someone's just a little touchy." Ed officially decided if there was a god he hated the damned entity and when he died that son-of-a-bitch was going to get a good earful; that was if he wasn't going to hell for wanting to kill his superior in gruesome and painful ways at the same time he wanted to jump his bones. Besides it was the colonel's own fucking fault that he was so 'touchy', if he'd just stopped screwing around with his neck maybe Ed would have gotten more done than doodling a couple of exceptionally perverted stick-person scenes. Wait, was he too busy focusing on this obsession to miss a crack about his height?
Extremely cautious not to wince at the unpleasant feeling of his erection pushing against the cold, hard zipper of his leather pants –why again did he not wear underwear?- Edward made his way to stand in front of Mustang, slouching only a little more than usual. For a few seconds, Roy said absolutely nothing just looking him up and down until he started to get positively twitchy. Ed was leaning more towards the horrific death when Roy started rubbing his neck again, and was it just him or was the stupid bastard doing it slower on purpose? "Would you bloody stop staring at me? What the hell do you want? I was ten feet away before, couldn't you have just yelled at me about something ridiculous over there?"
"No, I needed to talk to you face to face." Either he was being teased or paranoid, that frustrating gloat in Mustang's tone made him think teased.
"Well if it's so important then get to it." He managed to grind out, as that arrogant ass scratched the side of his neck with the gloved pads of two fingers. Maybe he could kill him and then have his w-…no, that was a gross thought. Maybe he could have his way with the man after the proper application of duct tape.
"I was looking over your last re-."
"Haven't you already griped at me enough over that report? I know I destroyed half a town, I know your higher-ups are all over your ass about it, I just plain damn know. Stop smacking my hand like a little kid, I get it!" Edward gripped the edge of Roy's desk and leaned forward to put emphasis on his words.
"You are a child, Fullmetal." I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him…
"Alright get on with it, you jackass."
"On with what? Oh, yes." Roy gathered up a stack of papers and tapped them a few times to straighten it. "Simply a discrepancy I've come across since reading your report and that of the local police."
"Who cares? The damages were paid for; can't you just leave me alone to work?" I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him…
"Work?" Roy raised his eyebrows incredulously. "I don't think I've seen you work the entire time you've been in my office."
"I've been working all day!" If it were possible Ed knew he would be able to see the lie. I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him…
"Drawing childishly, vulgar pictures does not count as work." Ed felt the blood rush to his cheeks in a desperate blush, which only served to piss him off, how did the colonel know about those?
"Shut up!" Ed barked.
"No denial?" I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to- sighing silently Roy brought his hand back to his neck, rubbing teasingly back and forth over the connection of his shoulder and, fuck it! Unable to control his spontaneity any longer Edward launched himself across Roy's desk, landing in his lap so the chair shot back against the wall.
Roy attempted to say something but Ed stopped him mid word by clamping his flesh hand over the colonels open mouth, tipping his head back with the same force; which was just fine by him because it exposed a larger expanse of porcelain flesh. This was so wrong, he would probably be flame broiled in a few seconds, not to mention he would probably hate himself but for then it was worth it to latch onto the hollow beneath a dainty ear and give it all he had. He shifted a little, trying to get his knees on one side or the other and brushed against a rather conspicuous bulge in Mustangs trousers: already? Or, the bastard was expecting this? And why was he not headed for the emergency room just yet? Slowly, he pulled away and let his hand drop from Roy's mouth. "You knew?" He gasped, pushing the squeak from his voice.
"You held out longer than I thought you would, Fullmetal, I must admit I'm a little impressed." Always smug, stupid bastard.
"How did…But I…?" Ed stuttered out and when Roy laughed he slapped his hand back against the man's lips. Yup, Ed was going to kill him. After he got his fill of course…