Disclaimer: I do not, in no way own Naruto or Yu Yu Hakusho. And that is all right with me, I got a good job and don't need all the fame and fortune that comes with popular manga...oh who am I kidding, that's a lie.

"Talk" Character talking.

'Think' Character thinking.

"Talk" Jagan talking.

'Think' Jagan thinking.

"Talk" Tailed Beast talking.

"Think" Tailed Beast thinking.


"Dear brother of mine, you got some nerve going behind my back." Kami said to his middle sibling. Pushing himself off the wall, the Supreme God gripped the haft of his Jumonji yari and slowly strolled towards the party of seven. "Raising the dead, creating an Avatar, watching these exams? Are my laws not specific enough for you?"

"They are more of a guideline, we were all put in charge of our respective realms by the Great Creator before he slumbered. You may have been put in charge to watch over the mortal world. But we get final say in what goes on in our realms." Shinigami said before leaning back in his very comfy chair.

"The Jinchuriki died, that Stone shinobi died. They should be sent to to their final destinations Shinigami!" Kami shouted, his body glowing a blinding golden light.

"They have names!" The God of Death barked at his eldest brother, the entire dimension shook as dark purple aura burst from his body. "It's Naruto Uzumaki and Ishikawa Kamizuru. You would know that if you weren't so busy sitting on your throne and looking down on those you deem as lesser beings."

Kami glared at his fellow God, a being that was equal to him in terms of rank, but power...well Kami viewed himself as the more powerful out of the Big Three, but to prove it would warp reality itself. Life on the planet would be forfeit, and that was the one law he was unwilling to break.

While the two brothers were having their pissing contest, Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu, Susanoo, Inari, Fujin and Raijin wisely backed away and kept quiet. While they were Gods themselves, and powerful in their own right, to get between one of the Big Three was suicidal even for them.

Confused? Well when there was nothing the Great Creator created everything, man, animals, the Gods themselves and the realms they governed before slumbering. His first creations were his sons, Kami, Shinigami and Yami who he left in charge of who would gain the three powers of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Legend was the three bothers pulled straws on who would get what. Yami drew the longest straw, Shinigami drew the shortest straw, and Kami was left with the medium straw. With their titles locked in place the Great Creator then created all life, and everything to sustain it before he slumbered.

For the longest time the three bothers governed their respective realms. But as time passed things changed. The world they watched over evolved, primitive man walked upright, tribes were formed. After tribes came societies, then came countries and nations. The people continued to evolve, they diverged from the hunter gather lifestyle and began to farm, trade and colonize.

But with growth came conflict, man began fighting over food, then territory, then women, then religion, then everything in-between, and then finally for no reason at all. Great weapons were developed, nations were wiped out in instances. The human race nearly went extinct at one point. But then a miracle happened, a meteorite fell to the earth and grew from the blood-soaked ground from the countless battles into a tree. The people who squabbled over the ruins of their old world mankind began rebuilding, and new Gods came into existence. There was still conflict, but never on a global scale. It was practically a perfect world.

But then Kaguya Otsutsuki arrived and fucked everything up. Eating the fruit from the God Tree as it was called back then and becoming the first person to ever use chakra and ruled over the earth until her two sons rebelled against her. She merged with the tree to become the Jubi, was sealed away into the moon while her eldest became the first Jinchuriki and the Sage of Six Paths, and her youngest went to the moon itself to reunite with his clan he descended from. Then it went downhill from there. Humans began molding chakra, being a shinobi became the way of life, the Warring States Period ensued hundreds of years after the Sage's will was left with his two sons that eventually created both the Uchiha and Senju Clans. Deals and pacts were made with some deities, others with demons, and hundreds of thousands of lives over the span of three-hundred years would be lost before Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha made an alliance that created Konohagakure after one last epic fight that Shinigami himself taped for posterity reasons. Other clans in other countries, fearful of the combined might of the Senju and Uchiha, created their own villages soon afterwards. And the Warring States Period was brought to an end, replaced by the Shinobi Organizational System of the Five Great Shinobi Nations.

But just when every deity thought peace would be established, wars broke out again, countries were annihilated. Biju who were used as bargaining chips became instruments of destruction thanks to their Jinchuriki, and over one-hundred years passed leading up until now. (1)

During that time Kami had grown tired of humanity's unwillingness to change and wanted to start from scratch. He would make it an ideal world carved from his image. Shinigami opposed it, humanity may have been flawed, but he saw the goodness that his brother had long forgotten about and would not allow their extinction for his "perfect" version. That lead Shinigami and Kami to butt heads every time they were in the same room together. Yami simply didn't care, he was content with his domain.

Eventually the two brothers broke away from each other, but they were still glaring daggers, wishing the other would simply combust into flames. Kami lightly huffed before turning away. "Have it your way Shinigami, let the boy live for now. But don't think that I am going to just stand by and let you do whatever you want. That boy will die, I will make sure of it."

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out." Shinigami said before creating said door in his realm, and hitting the High God right in his ass as it closed shut.

"Dear Us, I honestly hate it when Kami comes around to stir up trouble." Tsukuyomi said after Kami left, the suffocating pressure from those two nearly caused her to faint.

"No kidding, when was the last time any of us saw him?" Susanoo asked.

"Five-thousand years on the dot." Fujin said, sounding somewhat intelligent for once.

"And that is not enough time for my liking." Raijin seconded.

Being the bolder of the two, Amaterasu and Inari broke away from the cowering mass that was their friends and tapped the shaking High God on his shoulder. "You going to be okay?" The Sun Goddess asked.

"If ya need some time alone we'd understand my man." Inari said.

"No, no I'm fine. I'm just imagining the day I can put that uppity bastard in his place." After blowing off some steam, Shinigami returned to his desk and settled on his comfy chair, and returned his attention back towards the screen. "Lets focus back onto the exams, my boy just won. Now we will have to see what happens next."

"Picking lots for the finals?" Susanoo asked.

"Picking lots for the finals." Inari smirked in reply.


After Neji was carted away to to have his injuries and his ego patched up. Naruto and the winners of the preliminaries made their way to the trashed arena. Between gouges, burns, indentations in the walls, cuts, blood and parts of the arena walls being knocked down the Sandaime was glad that everything was over and done with, though the people responsible for repairing the place would not be happy that was for damn sure.

Standing in a straight line, facing not only the Hokage but the proctors as well. Hiruzen, giving the Genin, especially the ones hailing from his own village a proud smile, he began the closing ceremony in order to begin the next phase.

"Today I see no winners or losers, on this day I see shinobi who put everything on the line in these exams. You have all overcome so much, you have made your villages proud. So it is with great pride that bring the preliminary exams to a close." Noting the relieves, and exhausted looks from the winners, the Sandaime cleared his voice to continue. "Now I need your undivided attention for a few more brief minutes. What I am going to say next will affect each and every one of you."

A cloud of smoke appeared in front of them, revealing a table with a box on top of it, and a blackboard next to it. "For the winners, I require all of you to draw lots to determine who you shall face in the finals."

While a tad bit surprised the Genin got into a single file line and drew their lots from the box, each keeping it a secret from the others. With everyone taking one for themselves, Kakashi went in last to take out the last one in place of Sakura who was still recuperating.

A smile still plastered on his face, Hiruzen said. "Now, read off the numbers so we can determine the matches."

"I got number twelve." Kakashi announced for Sakura

"Three." Kankuro smirked in reply.

"Seven." Oboro stiffly said.

"Five." Temari said with a slight huff.

"Ten." Gaara lowly said his number.

"Yosh! I got eleven!" Lee exclaimed in enthusiasm.

"Two?" Choji said in slight bewilderment.

"Eight." Shikamaru yawned out.

"Four." Shino stoically said.

"Nine." Sasuke lightly smirked before giving a glance towards his teammate.

"Six." Naruto said with a small snicker.

"One." Dosu lightly growled out.

After the numbers were called out, Anko wrote them down. She could not hide the smirk on her face, not the slight snickering from some of the match up. They were too ironic, and she was loving it! After she was finished, the plum-haired kunoichi turned the blackboard to face them to reveal who was fighting who in the finals.

Match One: Dosu Kinuta vs Choji Akimichi

Match Two: Kankuro vs Shino Aburame

Match Three: Temari vs Naruto Uzumaki

Match Four: Oboro vs Shikamaru Nara

Match Five: Sasuke Uchiha vs Gaara

Match Six: Rock Lee vs Sakura Haruno

"So it looks like I'm fighting against Temari, eh." Naruto said before looking at the blonde-haired kunoichi, his mask doing a pleasant smirk. "Good, I'll pay you back in full what you did to Tenten."

"In your dreams." Temari shot back.

Shikamaru looked over towards the only Rain Genin who hurt his teammate, and while he could not see behind Oboro's rebreather, the Nara could safely assume that he was smirking. Ugh how troublesome.

Dosu however looked bored, the fat one was not even going to be a warm up for him.

While the other candidates were looking over and sizing up their would-be opponents, the Sandaime cleared his throat once again to gain their attention. "Now that you know who your opponents are, you all will be given one month to train." He announced much to their surprise. "In one month you will be allowed to stay in the village if you so wish to hone your skills. And when the day arrives you will gather at the stadium where the finals will be held. If you are not present for your match, you will be disqualified. Now rest up for the night, because tomorrow I expect you all to train yourselves to the bone to bring honor to your villages."

"You are all dismissed!" Ibiki barked out at the end. "For those who still have teammates hospitalized, I urge you to not worry. We by now all except for the ones who are unstable have been moved there. If you wish to visit, I am not going to stop you."


(Konohagakure Hospital – Thirty Minutes Later)

"I am here for my Genin, give them to me." The disguised Orochimaru said to Kanpo.

"I'm sorry, but that is impossible." The medical shinobi calmly said. "That Zaku boy's arms were worse off than he let on, and that Kin girl is in a deep slumber and has not awakened to any of out smelling salts. They require further treatment."

"Tell me where they are, I need to take them back to the village immediately." Orochimaru demanded.

"I'm afraid we cannot do that, considering your...attitude towards them, we feel it best to allow them to recover without your, ahem presence." Mogusa said to the disguised Sannin.

"You dare deny me my Genin!?" He demanded.

"Yes we do." Kanpo glared at him. "You may be from another country, but we are responsible for the health and well being of the Genin in our care. And until we give them clearance to leave with a full bill of health you can just sit your ass down and wait!"

"Is there a problem?" The three were alerted by the presence of the Hokage himself walking into the room waiting room. Flanking him were both Ibiki and Anko with Naruto and Sasuke trailing behind. "Kanpo what is the meaning of this?"

"A disturbance Hokage-sama, those Sound Genin were worse off than expected, and their sensei is putting up a fuss." Kanbo gestured towards the offender.

"I see." Steeling his old gaze towards the offender, Hiruzen looked him over. "I'm sorry, but I must ask you to leave. You can stay in the village as long as you need to until they have recovered, but you must follow the doctors orders."

Glaring at all the them, Orochimaru knew that he was outnumbered. He could not cause any more trouble otherwise his perfectly laid plans would all be for naught. He would have to cut his losses...for now. "Do what you want with them. I got another Genin to train for the finals." He said before turning on his heel and storming away.

"What an asshole." Naruto openly said.

"You said it dobe." Sasuke seconded with narrowed eyes. Something about that guy just rubbed him the wrong way.

"That's enough you two, he might be detestable but he is still a guest in the village, so be respectful." Hiruzen ordered the two Genin, he didn't drop his smile of course.

"All right old man." Naruto said in displeasure before turning away. "Sakura should be in..."

"Room three-hundred." Anko helpfully supplied with a chirp in her voice.

"Thanks. I dunno what she wants to say but it has to be important. I'll be back soon enough, and report anything that may needs to be reported."

"You sure you want to go in your condition?" Sasuke asked his teammate with a slightly raised eyebrow. After all Naruto was shirtless, had pants that looked like they were going to fall apart any minute, and covered in dirt and dried blood.

"It's no different than when we train together teme." Naruto replied before making his way towards room three-hundred. He got many curious, or disinterested looks from his state of dress, or lack thereof from the hospital staff. It was mostly ignored by the black-streaked blonde, his goal was the room his teammate was in.

"Hey Sakura-chan, how are you feeling?"

"Hey Naruto." Sakura tiredly greeted him. "I'm doing better, thanks for asking. So where's Hokage-sama?"

"He's in the waiting room, apparently he has some business to take care of." Like whisking away Kabuto and his entire team and the injured Sound Genin towards a secure location. "I'll tell him what you need to say though, word for word."

"I don't know, what I need to say is pretty...damning. And it involves, well, you." An ashamed look came to her face as she turned away from her teammate. "I just got your trust back, I don't want to lose it again."

"Sakura-chan listen," Naruto forced her to look at him. "Whatever it is, it will not destroy my trust. You have come far, you have matured. I think all of Team Seven has. So please tell me."

Her heart pounding with terror, her eyes lowering in shame, Sakura gulped loudly before nodding. "It's my mother. She was taking bribes and acting with the Civilian Council. She also has it in for you, and instructed me to..." She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to reveal that she was ordered to kill him.

"Blondie, that shit is messed up." Ishikawa remarked within his head.

'No shit. The old man got the assholes who were being a cancer, but it seems he missed one. What should I do?' Naruto asked.

"Well, I know that you're going to forgive the pink one. I don't need to have a fancy third eyeball to see that. And second, you already know what you're gonna do." The Kamizuru Chunin scoffed in response to the stupid question.

'Yea guess you're right.' He thought before actually speaking. "All right Sakura-chan, you don't need to say anything else." Seeing her look of confusion, Naruto smiled, even if the mask did make it super creepy. "The old man will take care of this, and if he can also get your old man you can be free of them."

The pinkette was honestly stunned by the proclamation, could it really be that simple? After all the wrong she had done, it made her feel so relieved, and vulnerable at the same time. "What will happen to me though? I mean after everything that I did, I doubt I could be trusted again."

"Screw what the populace thinks, you're a member of Team Seven. And you still got family that gives a damn about you, Akira and Korega could take you in. And you can finally bond with Sakari and have sister moments." Naruto replied in his usual manner of not giving a damn about what other people thought. Adding in her relatives, the good ones was also key to hopefully life his teammates spirits.

For Sakura it was a little conflicting. She always thought about what others thought of her, she grew her hair out because she heard Sasuke preferred girls with long hair, she dieted horribly because she felt she was unattractive. As for her relatives, she honestly didn't give much thought regarding her aunt and uncle, or her older sister because of her being so narrow-minded. She only hoped that they gave her a chance.

The sound of the door interrupted whatever she was going to say next. Due to the exams many patients of the same sex would share a room together in the hospital if they were injured. Hinata was wheeled in, still unconscious due to nearly being crushed by Gaara.

Naruto gripped the side of Sakura's bed and she saw his hand squeezing the metal frame until it bent under his own power. His Hannya mask may have only showed an angry demonic face; that still somehow morphed into comical expressions, but she saw that he was angry seeing the former Hyuuga Heiress in such a state. "Excuse me doctor." Sakura asked the only male that came in with her. "How is she?"

Mogusa turned towards her, a medical chart in his hands. "She isn't in the best of shape. Her entire skeleton had numerous cracks in it." Seeing the boy who beat up his patient's cousin sitting next to her, he helpfully added. "But it's nothing fatal or permanent. She just needs a lot of rest and perhaps some physical therapy. She will be fine Uzumaki-san."

Naruto felt a bit of relief, but he was still tense and agitated. Sakura placed her hand on his shoulder, causing him to turn towards her. She looked a bit embarrassed, but spoke her mind. "She will be okay Naruto, if you want to avenge her then you need to train to beat Gaara."

"Yea, you're right. I need to save up my frustration until I can face him." The former full blonde got to his feet and rotated his shoulders. "Hey, is Tenten going to be in here as well?"

"I'm afraid she's having an examination. Wind chakra is very dangerous, I made sure the wounds weren't bleeding, but she needs to be tested for muscle, bone and nerve damage." Mogusa apologized. "If there is something you want to say, I can give it to her."

"No, I'll come by in a few days. Thank you though. Hope you get better Sakura-chan because I expect you to train yourself to the ground this month." Naruto said, beaming at her. Once again his mask imitated him, making it look super creepy.

"Same to you Naruto, prepare to meet me in the final match!" Sakura exclaimed.

When Naruto arrived in the waiting room, he was greeted by Kakashi, Sasuke and Hiruzen. Apparently their sensei was getting caught up on a few things revolving around the both him and Sasuke. Kakashi's face was impassive as always, but his lone eye was sharp as it flickered to Sasuke's neck. Yea he was sorta caught up now. "All right Sakura-chan is doing well. But there is something that I need to know." He interrupted them.

"Hmm?" Kakashi turned towards him most unpredictable student.

"How exactly are you going to train us?" Naruto bluntly asked.

"Yea, how are you going to train us?" Sasuke seconded, crossing his arms as he looked at his teacher expectantly.

"Three Genin to train, and there is only one of you." Hiruzen said, looking at the son of Konoha's White Fang. "How are you going to do it Kakashi?"

The Copycat ninja visibly began to sweat from the attention being drawn towards him. What was he to say? That he was planning on only training Sasuke, and leaving his other two students to someone else? That would have made him look bad, very, very bad as a person, not to mention a terrible sensei.

"I was planning on taking care of Sasuke, training him to increase his speed and physical durability along with a few ninjutu." He honestly said, and took note of their demeanor's towards him. Yea, they weren't very nice ones either. "But I will not neglect my other two students. Sakura has a lot of potential, I got someone who owes me a favor, he can train her in the hospital to start her medical training if she desires it. Naruto, I got some scrolls that will suit your fighting style, and a trainer if you want him as well."

Naruto raised his eyebrow in response. "What kind of person is going to train me of all people?"

"Ebisu."

"I don't think so." Hiruzen, Naruto, Sasuke, even Anko who rejoined them said in union.

The Hokage, giving pity on poor Kakashi placed his old, but firm hand on Naruto's right shoulder. "Kakashi, let me worry about Naruto. I'll find a suitable teacher that can train him to the best of his abilities. However..." He sharp eyes sent shivers down Kakashi's spine. "You are to check up on your two students every couple of days. I do not want you solely focus on one student."

"Understood Hokage-sama."

"Good, Anko I need you to go to Ibiki regarding the you know what." The plum-haired kunoichi nodded and disappeared in a small cloud of smoke. "Naruto, Sasuke, head on home. You're to rest as much as you can, do some light training if you must. Resupply."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." The two Genin nodded.

Before following after the Genin, Hiruzen saw Naruto dropping a piece of paper on the ground, and not looking so subtle doing it either. Curiosity getting the better of him the old Hokage picked it up to find it folded. Unfolding it he saw Naruto's hand writing, it simply said, "Sakura's mom in league with C Council. Ordered her daughter to kill me. Check her."

The Sandaime crumpled the note in his hand and hid it underneath his robed before leaving the hospital.


(Sasuke's Apartment – Thirty Minutes Later)

Sasuke was refreshed, after spending five days in a hellish forest, and then fighting in the preliminaries, he was dirty, exhausted, and pretty hungry from eating nothing but bland ration bars and whatever berries they could find. But after a quick check up, a long hot shower, and now a hot meal in his stomach he felt like a million ryo. All that was needed was a good nights sleep and he would be ready to train the entire month away.

He then surveyed his apartment, it was small, but roomy enough for him at least. A simple table near the kitchen, a couch, his own bedroom with all the furnishings and bathroom. However he began to notice something that managed to slip by him for a month now. His couch was ruffled and wrinkled, a sack of dirty clothes next to it along with his sword and broken mask, his kitchen had a lot more ramen cups than he was comfortable with. An extra toothbrush was in his bathroom with a separate towel. There was fur on the carpet along with some minor scratch marks on the chairs for his table.

Naruto had been living with him for around that time, him and the fox kits. His annoying teammate took the couch as his bed, and the foxes slept either with him, or on the bed whenever they felt like it. Sasuke didn't mind it of course, they were just animals.

When he saw Naruto exit from his bathroom, clean as a whistle and wearing a pair of black pants and an ugly orange shirt, Sasuke considered him before saying. "Dobe, answer me something."

"Hmm, what is it teme?" Naruto asked.

"Did you move in with me?"

"Uh?" Blinking his blue eyes in confusion Naruto looked around the apartment. "I don't think so, why do you ask?"

"A decent lot of your stuff is here, toothbrush, clothing, ramen cups." Sasuke listed off items from the top of his head.

"Shit." How did he not realize this? How the hell could he not realize for the past month he was just bringing his stuff over to Sasuke's place, sneakily moving in? Oh man what an asshole move. "I am so sorry, I didn't even know that I was moving my crap in."

"Calm yourself dobe, I'm not mad." The Uchiha scratched the back of his head before saying. "Lets go and get the rest of your stuff, if you're going to move in, you might as well do it properly."

"Are you sure, I mean we're running out of space as it is."

"Space won't be an issue." Sasuke sat down on the couch and deliberated on what to say next. From the look on his face it wasn't and easy thing to say. "After the Chunin Exams finish...I'm thinking of going back the the Uchiha District and rebuilding it."

"What?!"

"Whoa, I did not see that one coming." Ishikawa commented.

"You heard me. I have been letting my home rot for too long, if I ever want to try and revive my clan then I will need to rebuild my home to raise them in." Sasuke said, feeling a great relief lifting off his shoulders as he said this.

"This is the first time I've ever heard you say anything about this." Naruto said before sitting next to him.

"I've been thinking about this for a very long time. I figured that if I ever killed...well the man who killed off my entire clan, I could start over. Rebuild the police force, make the clan prosperous once again."

"Shit that's gonna take a lot of women and years." Ishikawa said, smirking a bit at the Uchiha.

"Ishikawa said that is going to take a lot of women and years." Naruto relayed the message for his tag-along ghost.

"What the hell Blondie!? I didn't want him to hear that!"

Instead of Sasuke glaring in the dead Kamizuru's direction, he surprisingly nodded in response to that. "Yea, it's only a shame that useless fangirls are attracted to me. But that is many years down the line, I just want to get the buildings rebuilt first."

"You know, we could simply bring people into the clan." Naruto offered, seeing the confused look he clarified. "Well think about it, the police can be fixed not by having Uchiha's but people under the Uchiha name. People you can trust of course."

"Hm."

Naruto didn't need to be a mind reader, or use his Jagan Eye to figure out that his secret-cousin was thinking about it. Heak, even Ishikawa was putting on a thoughtful face. It was unusual in this day and age for a clan to adopt non-clan members into their ranks. Sure the Yamanaka's, Nara's, Akimichi, Kurama, and Inuzuka married outside their respective clans. But for the Hyuuga's who prized their dojutsu above all else found the idea absolutely absurd, and rather inbreed to make sure no one else got it.

"I will think about it." Sasuke eventually said, and no one could blame him, this was a major decision. "Lets go and get the rest of your stuff, and resupply, I think Hiroshi would love to see us again."

"My wallet is going to be awfully lighter after all this."

"Quit whining dobe."


(Konohagakure Streets – Fifteen Minutes Later)

"I find it hard to believe that we survived the forest." Naruto remarked.

"What makes you say that? Sure I fought against you know who, and you fought against one of his strongest shinobi. But we made it out, we survived while many others didn't." Sasuke replied with a slight huff.

"I know that, but I dunno, it just seems like no matter where we go we always manage to step into deeper shit than the last time. I mean first Zabuza, then the Chunin Exams getting completely screwed all to hell. And this is just us being Genin, what would happen if we were to become Chunin, and Shinigami willing, Jonin?" The black-streaked blonde asked.

"As much as it pains me to say it, you're right. It makes me wonder who we pissed off in the past life to deserve this. My clan, your...you know." The Uchiha refrained from revealing his secret due to the both of them being in public.

"And my apartment." Naruto deadpanned.

"And your what...oh." Sasuke saw what his teammate was looking at. It was his apartment all right, a burned out husk of what was left. The windows were gone, the door was broken and slanted on its hinges. Charred black wood coated the inside, and whatever remained was gone, either looted, or destroyed. "I'm sorry dobe."

"I honestly should have expected this. My neighbors hated me, and so did my landlord."

"Lose anything important?"

"Some random articles of clothing and all my furniture, nothing of major importance." Lightly running his hands through his hair, Naruto sighed in displeasure. "It's still a pain in the ass. Don't suppose you'll let me stay on the couch a little while longer."

"I'll give you your own house in the Uchiha District. No one other than you can burn it down." Sasuke stiffly said. He didn't outwardly show it, but he was angry. Naruto may have been an annoying jinchuriki, but he did more for him regarding his training that all the teachers he had before joining Team Seven. Giving him a house was the least he could do.

"What? Sasuke you don't have to..."

"I am, I will, and I did." Rapping him on the back of the head, the Uchiha turned on his heel and backtracked towards Hiroshi's Weapon Shop. "You coming or not?"

"Yea, yea I am." Giving his teammate a goofy smile that was replicated on his mask, he followed him towards their number one weapon store.


The very next day Team Seven went their separate ways to train. Sasuke was picked up by Kakashi and taken outside the village to train, Sakura was taken by Kanpou after she was given a bill of clean health to train as a medical shinobi, and given some scrolls by her sensei. As for Naruto he was currently sitting in the Hokage's office.

Hiruzen himself was sitting at his desk, smoking pipe in hand, and an unnerving smile on his face. This was the first time he had ever seen the old man looking so devious, and Naruto did not like it. That was his look when he was planning a prank dammit! "Naruto-kun, I suppose you're wondering who I picked to be your teacher."

"I am. Hopefully he or she will be good. Though I am surprised you did this for me, wouldn't it be considered favoritism by doing this?" Naruto curiously asked. Ishikawa nodded behind him with his arms across his chest.

"Under ordinary circumstances it would be, but given that my treacherous student is planning something I will consider this an unordinary circumstance." The Sandaime said before taking a puff on his pipe. "Besides, with this I can kill two birds with one stone."

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto curiously asked, feeling a pit fall into his stomach from his village leader's smile.

"Lets just say...you know him well enough."

That was when Naruto felt a heavy weight resting on the top of his head. It was cold, and smelled like someone dipped it in an ocean of blood. Then his voice nearly scared the life out of him. "Looks like you got me for a teacher kid. Lucky you."

Slowly turning his head, Naruto spotted the familiar form of Zabuza Momochi resting against the wall opposite of him, dressed in black pants, a sleeveless black shirt and had his wrappings covering his lower face and neck. In his right hand, and resting on the top of his head was the flat end of a fully extended Kubikiribocho. "You...you're my teacher?" He asked in disbelief.

"For his help, I promised Zabuza I would release him and his companions from their probation early and join our ranks." Hiruzen looked at the terrified Genin before chuckling. "I hope you're ready to train until you can't stand anymore Naruto-kun."

"Great...when do we start?" Naruto nervously asked.

"Right now, and the exercise is run and hide as best as you can. If I find you within five minutes you're going to run for twelve hours straight around the village..." Zabuza trailed off as if to add something. His mouth then crinkled upwards, his eyes flashing dangerously. "With a boulder tied to your back. Now move, you're wasting your five minute head start!"

Naruto did not need to be told twice. Without a word he bolted through the Hokage's open window like a bat out of hell, leaving Zabuza laughing behind him.

Hiruzen could not stop smiling, exhaling a mouth full of smoke he sighed from completing his revenge. That would show Naruto not to blow up his paperwork and his favorite pipe ever again.


"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! What did I do to piss off the Hokage!?" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran full speed to anywhere but the Hokage Tower.

"I dunno Blondie. Perhaps it was all the pranks you pulled as an orange-wearing jackass, or the fact you blew up his desk. If you did that to Onoki you'd be tried and more than likely executed for an attempted assassination." Ishikawa bordly said as he flew after his killer.

"How do you know this stuff!?"

"I'm no Yamanaka, but with the furball's permission, and Jagan simply not caring, I browsed your memories. Man if I wasn't dead I'd give you a wedgie off the Hokage Monument."

"Not helping matters Ishikawa! I gotta get rid of Zabuza." Placing his fingers into the familiar cross shape, Naruto bellowed. "Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!" In several big clouds of smoke, fifty Naruto's were running with the original. "Scatter guys!"

"On it boss!" The clones said in a union before they scattered.

"That'll slow him down." Naruto sighed in relief. Yea he wasted fifty clones to try and escape the former Demon of the Mist, but he'd put them to good use after they ran out the clock. Kakashi did give him a few scrolls to learn from after all, he honestly wondered was was in them.

Thirty seconds later he received a memory of one of his clones, he swore he felt a small pressure on his back and then nothing. A second clone felt something on his neck, and once again nothing. Then five clones disappeared at once, but this time they saw the object that ended their existence: A giant spinning sword. Crap, Zabuza was taking out his clones fast.

Another clone died when its neck was broken, another was beheaded, three were caught and stabbed at the bases of their spines. In the first two minutes he lost thirty clones, all efficiently cut down out of nowhere. Naruto was beginning to sweat heavily when thirty became forty in an instant. Zabuza must have been using a clone technique since no one could cover that much ground so fast.

A whooshing sound interrupted his mental panicking and he turned to see the familiar form of Kubikiribocho flying towards him. The former full blonde stepped on the top of a fence post, his weight giving under his frame before he cried out in terror as he fell into the steaming hot water.

Gargling he quickly rose out of the hot water and prepared to flee before a slender, but powerful hand gripped his shoulder. Nervously turning his head, he saw the exotic eyes of Kurenai Yuhi staring at him, and the ever mischievous Anko Mitarashi smirking at him, and then he noticed the rest of the women clad in towels.

And that was when Naruto knew he landed in the womens side of the hot springs. Oh this was not his day. How could this get any worse?

"Naruto?"

Naruto turned his head to see Haku, clad in a towel, her pale cheeks flush with embarrassment and slowly sunk down into the water.

"Kid. You are in some deep shit." Zabuza's voice rang into his ears. The former Demon of the Mist stood on a tree branch hanging over the womens side of the hot springs, his eyes glaring downwards at him, and his muscular arms crossing his chest.

It just got way worse. (2)


(Konohagakure – Twenty-four Hours Later)

"All right brat, I think I've punished you enough." Zabuza said in a bored manner.

After Naruto got...well he wasn't beaten up from falling into the hot springs, he however did get a stern talking to by Kurenai who was the most reasonable of the women who wanted nothing more than to hang him from a flagpole by his penis. He was warned that if he ever did it again there would be no mercy, from either of them. Anko didn't help matters by cackling like a maniac. The only good thing was Haku was more reserved, mortified sure, but no threat came from her mouth. However he did did get a free slap from the other twelve women he accidentally peeked at, and somehow his mask failed to protect him from their wrath. All things considered he got somewhat off easy.

Zabuza however didn't show mercy. He caught him within two minutes after killing all his clones. And so he was "punished" by having a five-hundred pound boulder strapped to his back and him sitting on it. The twelve hours was extended because Naruto saw his surrogate daughter in such a state, instead of doing laps for twelve hours it was until he dropped. The former Demon of the Mist sat on the boulder doing his own exercises while the black-streaked blonde ran around the village. When day became night he left him to get himself a bite to eat, and came back an hour later to find that while he had slowed down Naruto was still running.

Eventually morning came around and Zabuza wasn't amused anymore. He figured the kid would have collapsed on the fourth hour, instead the kid ran all day and night, breaking a hell of a sweat, but earning some very rare respect points from him.

Hopping off the boulder he was sitting on, Naruto came to a complete stop, shakily brought his arms to the rope tied around his torso and undid the knot. A loud cracking noise echoed throughout the forest as the boulder fell from his back and crashed into the ground. His entire body felt like a giant bruise. Kyuubi's healing aside, he hurt like hell, he couldn't feel his back, his legs were like lead weights, and he swore he sweated out every drop of moisture from his body.

"I'm impressed kid, you got more moxie than I gave you credit for." Zabuza congratulated him before tapping his "student" on the side of the head, watching him fall over. "Get some rest, we'll start again in...twelve hours. I'm going to relieve Gozu and Meizu of those fox kits, perhaps they'll be some inspiration for your training."

"When...am I...going to learn...how to fight a wind-user?" Naruto barely managed to pant out.

"Ah the Sand kunoichi, well kid first off you have to get faster. I'm going to make sure you're just as fast as your body can handle." Zabuza explained, lightly kicking the boulder with his right foot. "I am also going to work on your endurance, and finally ninjutsu."

"Why not kenjutsu? You got a sword...I got a sword. Teach me how to use it better." The demonic mask-wearer said, barely regaining his breath. "I need to do more than just swing it."

"Kid Kubikiribocho is a different class of sword, rarely do I ever need to cut someone twice with it." Zabuza replied before lightly gripping the handle of it. "Yours is nothing more than a toothpick with a pretty design."

'Oh you did not just call a divine sword a toothpick.' Grunting in displeasure Naruto forced himself to his feet, he swayed back and forth before steadying himself. "Them's fighting words Zabuza." He panted out before putting up his dukes. (3)

The older man only darkly chuckled in response. The kid certainly had a lot of spirit. "Get some rest kid, read those scrolls Kakashi gave you. Again, twelve hours, don't be late." Zabuza then disappeared in a small cloud of smoke.

Panting heavily Naruto collapsed to his knees, mentally thanking the Shinigami that his teacher didn't take him up on his fight, a simple flick to his forehead and he would be finished, and that eyebrowless bastard would never let it down until the day he died.

"Kid, I like you and all, but that was the dumbest thing I have ever seen." Ishikawa floated in front of him with a disapproving frown on his face. "You're pooped, hell you're more tired than when we fought. And here you are trying to pick a fight with the Demon of the Fucking Mist?"

"I can't back down Ishikawa." Naruto tiredly replied. "I need him to get faster, stronger, and he does not answer to weakness. You see Haku? She can still kick my ass, even after not training since her incarceration."

"And without the fox."

"Especially without Kyuubi." The former full blonde admitted. As strong as he was now, he had a long way to go. "Listen Ishi...I'm gonna collapse for a few hours. Wake me up in...fourish hours." Trailing off Naruto fully collapsed onto his face and began sawing logs.

"Will do Blondie will do...well isn't this a surprise." The dead Kamizuru Chunin remarked when a large figure jumped down from one of the trees, picked his unconscious ward up and began carrying him back to the village. "Kid, you are not gonna sleep at all this month. And that Sand girl...whew, she is gonna wish she didn't mess with that panda chick after you're through with her."


(Konohagakure – Eight Hours Later)

"Ugh, can someone tell me what hit me?" Naruto groaned to himself as he pulled himself out of his bed...wait bed? His blue eyes snapping open he immediately bolted off his bed and frantically began to search his surroundings.

The room he was in was pretty barren, a regular bed that certainly wasn't his due to it being nothing but ash by now. The floor was carpeted, and not the white color of Sasuke's place, it was a worn tan color with white painted walls. There was a dresser against the wall across from his bed with a tv on it and an open door to the bathroom that was by the entrance. He checked the only window to find to his relief that he was still in the village.

"Okay...I got all my clothes and weapons. So I wasn't kidnapped." He said to himself.

"No, but with how you were sawing logs I bet a heard of steers could trample past you, and you wouldn't even twitch." Ishikawa said, appearing in front of him as always, "Though you seem to be missing something."

"Huh?" Pawing himself Naruto checked to see that he had his clothes, kunai, shuriken, sword, hidden blades. It was then he realized that his mask was gone. "Shit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit where is it?" He screamed out as he began scrambling throughout the room trying to find the thing.

Sweat-dropping Ishikawa hung his head in defeat. Yea, he was still a stupid kid at times. "You know I don't think you need it anymore, I mean your face isn't horrifically scarred anymore. Plus that mask is about to fall apart any second, you should'a ditched it in the forest."

"Hell no, I like that mask. Not only does it make me look like a badass, but it hides the times when I have to use the Kurashagan or Jagan. And most importantly it makes people flinch when I look in their direction."

"Sounds like a bit of bullying there Blondie." Ishikawa commented.

"Whatever, listen do you know where I am?"

"Some cheap hotel in the village, when you fell unconscious you were picked up and brought here. Don't worry he didn't even try to take your clothes off."

Giving the dead Stone Chunin the dullest look imaginable, Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. "Who brought me here?"

"I did, how ya feeling brat?"

Turning towards the unfamiliar voice Naruto was greeted by a rather tall man with fair skin. He had a wart on the left side of his nose and waist-length, spiky white hair that he ties back into a pony tail, with two shoulder-length bangs framing his face. There were red lines under his eyes that extended all the way down his face until they reached the bottom. He wore usual attire consisting of a green short shirt kimono and matching pants, under which he wore mesh armor that was visible at his wrists and ankles. He also wore hand guards, a black belt, traditional wooden sandals, and a red haori with two yellow circles on each side. He often carried a large scroll on his back, and wore a horned hitai-ate with the kanji for "Oil" on it.

"I'm sorry who are you?" Naruto warily asked the weirdo.

"Who am I? Who am I!?" Slamming his right hand into the ground, the entire room was engulfed in white smoke, and the weirdo was revealed to be standing on a very large toad in a kabuki position with sakura petals swirling around him. The toad in question had orange skin that was covered in blue markings, he had bandages wrapped around his body and left foreleg, and wore a necklace with seven large beads on it, with the kanji for "Loyalty" on the central, largest one.

"I am the most holy hermit Sage of the Mount Myoboku toads, otherwise known as Jiraiya the Toad Sannin!" Jiraiya exclaimed, striking a dramatic pose that showed off a tattoo on his left palm.

Jiraiya was met with dead silence, not even a cricket chirped to his entrance. Naruto looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the village. Ishikawa looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the ninja world. Jagan looked at him like he was viewing a primitive neanderthal in the zoo. And even Kyuubi looked at him like he had indigestion.

They then heard the sounds of cracking, then splintering, and finally the entire floor collapsed sending both a screaming Jiraiya and Naruto through it.

"And he trained the Yondaime Hokage?" Ishikawa questioned himself in disbelief.


(Hokage Tower – One Hour Later)

Hiruzen was not pleased. Earlier that day he learned that his favorite tobacco was out of stock and he would have to wait three days to receive it. Then he was handed a report regarding a disturbance in the woman's hot springs; the culprit being Naruto himself. And now he was looking at his student and Naruto himself sitting in front of his desk, their heads hanging low.

"Three floors to a hotel. Jiraiya, I thought you would have known better than to summon one of your toads in a public building." The Sandaime gave them a disappointed tone when he spoke.

"Sorry sensei." Jiraiya apologized.

"As for you Naruto, what were you doing in a hotel when you should be training for the finals?"

"I was training for the finals. Zabuza had me lug a boulder strapped to my back for twenty-four hours. I fell asleep in the forest after he ditched me and woke up in the hotel with this asshole!" Naruto, thankfully wearing his hannya mask that he stole back from an unconscious Jiraiya said. "So you should be asking him why I was in his room!"

Wearily looking at his old student, Hiruzen plainly asked a simple question. "Why did you take Naruto to you hotel room?"

"Sensei I first spotted the kid creating fifty shadow clones. That doesn't happen every day so I decided to tail him, and wouldn't you know it he fell into the womans side of the hot springs and didn't die." Naruto visibly palmed himself when the Toad Sannin said that. "I became intrigued, especially when he had Zabuza training him, and yes sensei you need to fill me in on that, and watched him sweat and train until he fell unconscious. When Zabuza left I took him to my hotel so he could get some better rest and see if he was who I thought he was."

"I'm right here, you know that right?" Naruto testily growled out.

"I see..." Turning towards the boy he thought of as a grandson, Hiruzen said. "Go home Naruto, Zabuza will come to you when it's time to train again. Jiraiya, I need to have a word with you."

"See you later old man." Naruto saluted his Hokage before swiftly moving out of his chair and bolted out the open window once again.

Mentally making a mental note to shut his windows from now on, the Sandaime turned towards his old student. "I am glad you arrived."

"Same here sensei, I had to tie up my loose ends before coming here." Jiraiya said before growing serious. "The kid's changed a lot since I last saw him."

"That was well over six years ago Jiraiya." Hiruzen said as he leaned back against his chair. "I honestly wish you came back more often. Minato would have been ashamed to know that Naruto's godfather wasn't there for him, and you and I both know what Kushina would have done to you."

"You and I both know that I couldn't be there all the time for him. With Orochimaru running loose and this group that have been hunting Jinchuriki, I have to stay at the top of my game regarding my information network." Jiraiya stiffly said. He knew that he neglected his guardian duties, but he wasn't going to apologize for it. If it wasn't for him, bad things could very well have happened to his beloved village. "Besides, I have been putting money into a separate account for him. When he makes Chunin or turns sixteen I think he'll be less mad at me." (4)

"Perhaps." Hiruzen nodded. "Now that you're in the village what are you going to do? I already got him a trainer."

"Zabuza Momochi? Sensei I heard the rumors, but I did not think they were true until I saw it with my own two eyes." The Toad Sannin said, crossing his arms across his chest. "How did you acquire him of all people?"

A rare devilish smirk formed on the Sandaime's face. "It was none other than Naruto of course."

His attention now squarely focused on his old teacher, Jiraiya rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're going to have to explain that to me."

And so the Sandaime did. He knew that Naruto would be quite ticked that he revealed such high classed information, but Jiraiya was the last student that remained in the village; or at least returned to it. He told him about Naruto's mission in Wave Country, him meeting the Shinigami, Ishikawa Kamizuru being some sort of guide and the Jagan Eye being apart of the Kyuubi's seal. He revealed everything from the sword he carried to his known elemental natures, to the Kekkei Genkai running through his veins, and his most recent accomplishments ranging from the joint B-ranked mission with Team Gai through the Forest of Death to the preliminary rounds.

To say the Toad Sage was overwhelmed was like saying Orochimaru wasn't a traitor and a criminal against the laws of human nature. Half that stuff was unbelievable, not even a author or a well selling book series like himself could come up with it. I mean he heard the rumors of the Uzumaki Clan having some sort of deal or affiliation, but that was many years ago after they were nearly wiped into extinction and their remaining members scattered throughout the world. As far as he knew Naruto was the last Uzumaki in the entire world, allowing him access to the storage temple on the outskirts to the village; but that was neither here nor there. (5)

"Surely you can't be serious." The perverted hermit asked.

"I am serious Jiraiya, I met with them, Inoichi met with them. This is the highest classified information next to the Scroll of Sealing." Hiruzen told his student using his Kage voice to show the man he was not kidding around. "My only question is what are you going to do with this information?"

"Heh, isn't it obvious sensei?" Jiraiya asked with a wide smile on his face. "I'm gonna take the brat under my wing and train him!"

"Zabuza is already training him." Hiruzen evenly replied.

"I will train him also! Listen the kid is gonna be fighting a wind-user, I know how to fight against them effectively. Plus other than you I know a fair amount of fire based ninjutsu."

"Naruto is not exactly good with fire ninjutsu Jiraiya, if he manages to learn one or two in my lifetime I will consider it a miracle."

"That is not the only way to beat a wind-user and you know that." Jiraiya stubbornly said. "I got the experience, let me do this."

"Fine...fine..." Hiruzen sighed out, without his tobacco Jiraiya wore him down faster than usual. "I will give you Zabuza's address, if you convince him then I will allow you to help train him."

"Trust me sensei. I think I can get him around to my line of thinking."

Somewhere in the village Zabuza's spine stiffened within the confines of his assigned apartment. It was still close to the Anbu Headquarters, but at least he was allowed to be armed again. He didn't know who, or what made his spine tingle, but it told him it was going to make his life much more entertaining.

One Naruto's side however he felt like someone walked over his grave. It was a dreadful feeling that caused him to break out in a cold sweat even though he was in a hot shower. Ishikawa only laughed, followed by Jagan and Kyuubi. Dammit he hated them all so much.


Armageddon: Whew, man been a while for this story hasn't it?

Sgt. Shadowninja: And what took you so long, eh?

Pvt. Fox: Yea, I mean I know you got other stories, but come on now.

Armageddon: Well it's just that, I had to focus on my other stories, and as you all know I suck with in-between stuff. Listen it'll be a little bit before I can get back to fighting so the next chapter or two will be dialogue heavy, and possibly boring, but it needs to be done to make this story not suck. I mean character development is important otherwise it's be the same cut and paste nonsense stories that'll just turn people off of it.

Pvt. Leafninja: I guess that makes sense. So how ling do you think this training period'll last?

Armageddon: Chapter or two, I mean I'm going out on a limb here to make this story long and interesting.

Pvt. Killjoy: Eh, still makes sense.

Lt. Doom: So General, I hear you've been thinking of something about this story eh? Come on tell the fans.

Armageddon: *Sighs* All right. My adoring fans, or at least those who have stuck with me so far. I'm at a crossroads with this story. Don't worry it isn't another reboot, I'll have none of that anymore. I've just been looking at my other stories and so far they are pretty successful crossovers by putting characters from their respective series in it. I was wondering should I do the same for this? I don't mean having the main characters like Yuske or Kuabara being in it, but minor characters like Chu and the like. What are your thoughts, yay or nay? And please tell me your reasons.

Pvt. Liquor: Well you heard the man! Now enjoy the Fourth of July, be safe and all that we don't wanna hear about blown up hands or houses!

(1) All right, again folks I fear some people might get confused or deeply offended by what I just did regarding the background. Well it's just a story that I am making up, I'm not bashing religion or anything like that, I have more or less twisted the canon into what I want for this story. I felt some of this needed to be explained to be explained. And yes I did intentionally used the mythology of Hades, Poseidon and Zeus because I enjoyed that story.

(2) You ever have one of those days where it just escalated by getting worse by the hour? Well it happens to the best of us, and the main character is not an exception. To those who think he got off easy with just some slapping, you're right, but Zabuza made it much worse.

(3) That's my tribute to Captain America the First Avenger. It's not word for word, but I still like that scene.

(4) You really think Jiraiya would just abandon him without some sort of plan in mind? Well where Kashimoto failed, I decided to fix if only for myself where Jiraiya was not woefully neglectful and a bad Godfather...granted he still is not the greatest, but he's trying at least.

(5)And finally we have our favorite Toad Sage, yea I lied when I said no one else would know of Naruto's secrets. But for Jiraiya I made an exception because he was one of my favorite characters until he died, and he is one of the more trustworthy characters in the series.

07-04-2017: Hello folks some of you told me I made some mistakes regarding Tenten being "Exterminated", man how I missed that after looking over this chapter three times is beyond me. The Ultimate-Zelda-Fan also pointed out that I messed up a conversation with the Sandaime and Jiraiya, thank you for that.