A/N. This is something I've been working on for a while... and I think its the best writing I've done... like ever. Which isnt saying much about my skillz, but, none the less, whatever. Anyway, yeah, the title comes from the "Birds and the bees" - I LOVE that discussion. Its funny :) Anyway, reveiws are love, so is Karl Urban (L) -give me a piece of that man-flesh ANYDAY. More reveiws mean Bones gets more naked :)

Disclaimer: I dont own star trek, If i did, Karl Urban would have spent most of the film shirtless.

Emma could barely contain her excitement; even in the annoyingly short cadet uniform. A few metres in front of her, she saw a guy jump off a motor bike and throw something to one of the workers, before he talked briefly to Pike. She was still a few feet behind him, stripping off her high heels as she went, they weren't that important so she could leave them here… actually, they weren't even hers', so it was OK to leave them here. Pike saw her approaching, her boots in hand and the high heels in the middle of the pathway, a few feet behind the bike, and rolled his eyes.

"You're a little late, cadet, and you're in the wrong uniform. You're also going to have to fix your hair" He told her, his voice only betraying a slight hint of humour. She smiled cheekily before nodding her head.

"Chris, you know where I got those genes from" Technically, he wasn't family, but he was the closest thing she could get to an Uncle without him actually being a blood relative. She glanced up to her hair, before remembering what it currently looked like.

"It's Captain Pike, cadet. I'm not going to help you out from here on in. Now hurry up and get in, before we take off" She hurried on, jumping into one boot and stepping onto the shuttle. She turned to him and poked her tongue out before scampering off to find a seat. She headed to the second cabin and stood back while a handsome man fought with a flight officer.

"I suffer from aviophobia - it means fear of dying in something that flies!" he told her, his southern accent making Emma smile.

"Sir, for your own safety, sit down, or else I'll make you sit down!" the shorter woman told him, her expression stern. Reluctantly, he nodded and sat down, "Thankyou" she snapped, before walking away. Pike made his announcement 'this is captain Pike, cleared for takeoff'. Emma quickly took the only seat available; the one in front of the man who had now turned to the guy with the bike.

"I may throw up on you" he told him, putting on his safety belt; Emma copied his actions.

"I think these things are pretty safe" the cute blonde next to him told him, looking slightly…confused?

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait till you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence" he lectured as he finished his belt and Emma sniffed a little… was that whiskey? Or scotch? Or… the other one?

"Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space" The blonde told him, looking slightly fed up, before his attention was caught by the flask the handsome, dark haired man had pulled out.

"Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go; the ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones" Why were men who could raise an eyebrow just that much sexier? Emma wondered this as the blonde looked unsure as to whether to smile or frown… or look even more confused; his eyes following the flask until the other man offered it to him and he accepted with a slight nod.

"Jim Kirk" the blonde told the man, holding the flask up for a mere second and taking a drink.

"McCoy, Leonard McCoy" who was he? James Bond? Emma doubted he had even seen the movies, but still. Jim offered him back the flask as the shuttle started to shake. Kirk smiled slightly before looking to her and smirking slightly.

"And you are?" His voice went silky smooth in a matter of second, and Emma heard a feminine grunt from the girl two seats down. McCoy looked over to her as well, his eyes taking in all of her and finally resting on her eyes, before flicking back up to her hair and flicking down again. She reached up to pat it, grinning.

"Emma Avery," she pointed to her hair before continuing, "I got bored and found myself some fun" She grinned at McCoy who smiled warily back. Her hair, which was jet black, was a few inches longer than Jim's with electric blue streaks through it. The shuttle lifted off.

"You sound just like my kind of girl" Jim told her and the girl two seats down leaned forward to look at her.

"Don't listen to him; he's a hick from town. Total sleaze" Emma threw her head back and laughed throatily.

"Uhura, jealous that I've moved on from you? The offer still stands" Jim told her and McCoy looked from him to the shuttle before settling back on Emma; in the background, Uhura gagged and threw Jim the bird.

"Where you from? Why'd you join Starfleet?" He asked, trying to distract himself and also slightly curious as to how the obvious party girl had gotten roped into something like this. She grinned wickedly; never a good sign.

"I'm from all over, everywhere, Australia, Egypt, America, Greece. I didn't really settle for the past few years. I joined star fleet when I lost a bet," Leonard raised an eyebrow so she continued, "I bet my best friend that I could pick up a guy at a bar in… where was it... Oh, right Paris. Yeah, she won" Jim raised an eyebrow, now paying attention.

"What? A guy actually refused you?" He asked, incredulous and disbelieving; Emma took it as a compliment.

"I get the feeling that if it has the right anatomy and is good looking enough, you'll take it home? Anyway, yeah, this guy I was trying to pick up was gay. And even in my shortest black dress, my hair looking somewhat normal and a plunging neck like, I couldn't get him to turn straight. Not even for some innocent sex. His boyfriend laughed at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He's now a good friend of mine actually" She had talked long enough to distract Leonard and he was looking a little bit more relaxed now. Jim grinned at her.

"I get the feeling we're going to get along" he told both her and Leonard; Leonard seemed disinclined to agree, but shrugged at him before looking to her, rolling his eyes when she grinned and nodded.

"As long as you don't try to get me into your bed, I'm fine with that" she pointed to Jim, who grinned before noticing she spoke directly to him.

"Wait, does that mean he can?" He pointed his thumb in Leonard's direction and she sent them both a wicked smile.

"Jim, Southern men have morals. I have a feeling Leonard and I are going to get along very well. Not that I intend to sleep with him, but who knows" She grinned before winking at Leo.

"Oh, this is going to be fun, Bones, this is going to be fun" Jim told McCoy before noticing that he looked kind of pale.

"You know what I said before? Yeah, get ready" Bones told him, just before he heaved.


Bones, Jim and Emma shuffled off the shuttle and onto the academy grounds, Jim trying not to look at Bones, or Emma. Emma told Jim to go get their room information while she sat Bones down on a seat underneath a tree. She could easily ignore the vomit on his shirt (and the little bits on her shoes) and was worried about the paleness of his face, making sure that he was breathing properly and asking a cadet for her bottle of water; one look at Bones and the poor cadet gave it to her, before scampering off to what must have been the bathroom, heaving. She unscrewed the lid and held it out to him.

"C'mon McCoy, drink this, it should help" she watched as he took a mouthful from the bottle, spitting it out onto the lawn and then taking a few more, which he swallowed.

"I don't need a babysitter you know" he told her roughly, trying to cover up his embarrassment by growling; she sighed.

"Trust me; this isn't as bad as standing up in the middle of shuttle in barely any clothing and throwing up over one of the flight officers before passing out. I've been there, done that. No one will remember and if they do just stick them with a hydrospray, you sound as if you're fond of them" he looked up at her and saw her smiling slightly down at him before she shrugged. He sighed before looking around the campus; he shouldn't be looking at another woman this soon after the divorce. And this one, this one was dangerous; he could feel it in his bones. Jim was walking back toward them, grinning at them both.

"Guess what, Bones?" He asked him as he stopped at the spot under the tree, "We're going to be roomies" Bones groaned and looked at Emma, who shrugged in a what-can-you-do way before grinning.

"Alrighty boys, I have to go get my quarters and check out some stuff. I'll see you around?" She asked, trying to make it sound light, but Bones could hear the worry underneath it all; worry about what, he wasn't sure. Yet.

"Sure thing, sweetheart" Jim told her before lifting Bones up and supporting him with an arm and dragging him off. Emma shook her head at their retreating forms before heading off to find out where her dorms were.


By the end of the week, Emma was nearly a wreck. By day three, Pike had ordered her off campus during a lesson to get her hair stripped of its unnatural colours and had told her to start wearing the correct shoes at all times. By day five, Pike had confiscated all of her shoes, except her uniform boots, and if she wanted them she had to go see him. So, when Saturday finally rolled around, she couldn't have been more excited about dragging Jim and Bones out. She found them at in the dining hall and quickly grabbed her breakfast before sitting down next to Bones and across from Jim.

"We are going out tonight, my friends. I won't take no for an answer" Jim looked up at her, grinning, while Bones just took another mouthful of coffee.

"I can't, I'm on shift tonight in the infirmary" Bones told her, without looking up from his data-pad, and she sighed, looking to Jim.

"I have a date with a leggy blonde who is most likely easy" Emma sighed again. She glared and was smelt Bones's coffee, which he had placed on the table not a second ago, and made a face before taking a deep swig of her hot chocolate and sighing again.

"Ugh, you both suck. Looks like I'm staying in tonight" Jim raised an eyebrow at her.

"What happened to not taking 'no' for an answer?" He asked, amusement thick in his voice. She glared, about to respond when she was interrupted.

"Hey, just because you don't have anyone to spend it with, doesn't mean you can't hit the town and get yourself a piece of hot man-flesh" Gaila told her as she sat next to Jim. Bones looked slightly perturbed at the word 'man-flesh' but decided not to say anything.

"But it's no fun if I can't have a drinking partner" She pouted, trying to look innocent.

"Hey, if you're going out alone, it just means you can wear as little as you want. Besides, what about your roommate?" Gaila sipped at her coffee, raising an eyebrow to Emma.

"Ugh, no way in hell will I even force her company on me if it isn't necessary; She's a bitch" Emma made a gagging noise; Jim grinned.

"Still having trouble with little Miss professor seducer?" he asked; Emma nodded in response.

"Well, I got a few things to do before I get ready and see Pike so I can get my shoes back. I still can't believe he took them" Emma grumbled before standing up; Bones looked up to her with a raised eyebrow. She tried to stop her knees from wobbling.

"Really? I can't believe he didn't burn them. You were warned that you shouldn't wear them" He chuckled as she glared at him, hitting him upside the head lightly.

"And now I'm warning you," she leant down so that her lips were just beside his ear, "if he burns my shoes, I'm going to come after you with several pointy objects for giving destiny the idea" He shuddered and she grinned, lightly brushing her lips to his cheek and messing up his hair; he growled as she walked away.

"I can't believe you two. Why don't you just screw each other and get it over with?" Jim asked him and Gaila nodded eagerly with a small smile.

"It's harmless flirting, Jim. We're just friends, there is no need to ruin a perfectly good friendship by what is meant to be an innocent one night stand that ends up making everything awkward," He growled at them, before standing up, "besides, she isn't interested in anything like that. So even if I were, which I'm not, it wouldn't happen anyway" He huffed as he walked off to dispose of his tray and empty coffee cup.

Jim gave Gaila a look that she understood within seconds and nodded in response, rolling her eyes for added effect.

Those two were never going to get together, even though Emma was the perfect coolant to Leo's temper and Bones was the perfect excuse for Emma to loosen up and lose some of that self doubt that they had all noticed and said nothing of. They were like pieces of a magnetic puzzle that just wouldnt fit into place unless the other gave in.


Bones was getting annoyed. He hated working night shift, especially when it was as boring as this and he was the only person in the infirmary. He paced lightly, biting into the sandwich that the last nurse to leave had left for him.

Another few minutes passed and he sat down, closing his eyes for a few seconds before picking up a book. He threw it back down not three minutes later. The door slid open and he shot out of his seat, going to meet whoever it was; he ignored the icy feeling that shot down him when he saw that Emma was being carried in by Pike (women like her were, after all, dangerous).

"What happened?" He asked, already guiding Pike to a bio-bed and pulling out his tri-corder.

"She had a migraine, she gets them from her mother and her grandmother. She told me before she passed out to bring her here and for you to give her your best pain killers. She's going to need a private room" Bones raised an eyebrow, but guided him to the intensive care room and opened the door, showing Pike through to the bed.

Emma was dress in a mini skirt and a tank top, still barefoot. Bones ignored the lack of clothing and stepped closer to the bed when she started to stir. She groaned before opening her eyes, looking frantic and pale.

"Bones," she croaked, holding a hand to her head, "get me a bucket, and pain killers. No sedatives. Silent room" Bones nodded and Pike followed him out.

"I am leaving her in your care, you'll be fine, McCoy" He walked out the door, only looking back for a slight second. Bones grabbed the strongest pain killer he could use without sedating her. He grabbed a bucket on the way back into her room. He gently gave her the hydro spray shot, she didn't wince and pointed to the bucket and then to the area on the floor next to the bed.

"I'm... going to... pass out in a... few moments. Can... you stay here? It'll... help me... sleep... calm me... down... stop the... pain," she chuckled before giving in to another moan, "well... it'll help... the bite a... little" She mumbled, taking breaths every few words, and he silently picked a chair up and put it next to her bed, grabbing her hand and holding it with his larger ones. She tried a smile in his direction and sighed slightly before passing out.

Tell me what you think, Love FAL/ Jay.