Title: Hello, Apathy.
Author: dizzy - in - the - izzy
Rating: T, but there is one swear word in here. :/
Disclaimer: I do not own!
Summary: After three years, Ziva know's there is no way to forgive Tony for what he did. And for his sake, she hopes Gibbs never finds him.

A/N: So, this is my new story. I'm slowly working on it, and I hope that people will like this. I deleted it three times, and then rewrote it completely. I was very, very angry with it until about ten minutes ago. When I realized it was fine, I quickly uploaded. And now, I spent at LEAST five minutes getting the summary down. So, I'm now posting this and I'm not looking back.

I know this may be comfusing, but I promise that it will be more clear after a few chapters. You can probably get the gist of the story now, and I hope you like it.

THANKS: To Autumn Gray for helping me with getting a new idea. I am so glad you and I talked about your new story, "And then, it's called Grace." (which you should all check out) and helped me get this crazy idea. :D

Noah's squeals of laughter brought joy to his mother's ears as she tickled him endlessly. The three year old had initiated this tickle fight, and now Ziva was going to end it. Lifting him up off the ground, she twirled around once and then brought him to her chest. He was still giggling, and he grabbed her shirt to keep himself from falling.

"You win!" He said loudly, and Ziva chuckled. She sat down, taking a deep breath. Noah stretched out in his mother's lap, lying across her thighs. He was supposed to be falling asleep. Instead, he was all wound up and wanted to watch a movie.

"Can we watch a movie?" He asked, jumping off her lap before she could stop him. He waddled over to the entertainment, his pants starting to fall down. He pulled them up before sitting, his wide eyes reflected in the glass as he looked for his favorite movie. Grabbing it, he turned to his mother.

"Can we watch it, please?" He held up Lion King, his eyes pleading. He was working on her, and she knew it. Soon, she'd be making him his favorite food (sugar cookies).

"You are supposed to be in bed." She said, and he stuck out his lip.

Now he was pulling a fast one.

"Please mommy?" He said in a sweet voice. She rolled her eyes, looking at the clock. It was his bed time, seven o'clock, and she knew that in the morning he would be cranky. Nonetheless, she popped in Lion King, and she smiled at his excited sound of laughter.

"Yes!" He said loudly, climbing onto the couch and sitting against the arm. He grabbed the remote, attempting to control the volume. Instead, Ziva stopped him.

"No, you do not get to control the volume." She said, picking him up and placing him in her lap. She smiled at him as he pulled his legs up to his chest, holding them closely. He twitched a couple times, moving around and getting completely comfortable. He finally settled with lying on his side, with his head on the arm. Ziva smiled, running her fingers though his light brown hair. He sighed a little as she massaged his head.

The opening scene happened, and Noah perked up. He hummed along, and Ziva laughed.

"When is daddy getting home?" Noah asked, and Ziva shrugged. She was about to pick up her cell phone when the lock sounded, and the front door opened. Noah got up in a hurry, running to his father in a happy hurry.

"Daddy!" Noah said, and Tony lifted his son off the ground.

"Hey buddy. Why are you still up?" He said, smiling at Ziva. She shook her head, pausing Lion King and getting up.

"Mommy let me. I'm watching Lion King right now."

Tony nodded, wrapping an arm around Ziva and kissing her head.

"Hello sweet cheeks." He said, and she smiled. She took their son back, walking over to the couch and putting him on her lap. Tony took off his coat, sighing deeply before plopping down next to her. Noah pressed play on the remote, and he sank into his parents. Tony smiled down at him, rubbing his head. He swatted at his parents, intensely trying to watch the movie.

"So much like his father." Ziva whispered, and Tony grinned.

"All DiNozzo men are alike." Tony whispered back, and Noah shushed them. Ziva laughed.

"Sure." Ziva whispered before turning her attention back to the movie. Tony put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She put her head on his shoulder, watching the movie. She stopped focusing on it after a while, and turned to look at Tony. He was watching the movie with the same intensity as Noah. Ziva smiled at her boys, running her fingers through both of their hairs. Tony smiled at her briefly before turning back to the movie. Noah didn't care as he shifted so his head was more towards her, nestling into her to get more comfortable. It was soothing to hear his breathing as Ziva let her eyes shut.

"Hakuna Matata!" Noah yelled, and causing his parents to laugh. His enthusiasm was cute, and Ziva found herself giggling. He was so cute, and so much like his father.

"Alright Simba." Tony said, causing Noah to shush him. Tony smiled at Ziva, before kissing her softly.

"I love him. And I love you." He whispered, and she smiled at him.

She leaned up to kiss him back-

Ziva sat up in bed, her breathing deep and labored. She could feel a cold sweat running down her skin, and her hair was stuck to her neck. The blankets were wrapped around legs and torso, making her feel trapped. She got up, running straight to the shower and jumping in fully clothed. The water was too hot, but she wanted to rid herself of the sweat. Hurriedly, she scrubbed the stickiness off her skin. She was halfway through when she heard Noah running in, his little voice concerned. Ziva ignored him for the moment, finishing her scrubbing and standing there, letting the water run over her.

She finally shut off the water after ten minutes, knowing that Noah had a towel for her. She stepped out of the shower, grabbing the towel he was holding up as high as he could, and shaking. Noah got up on the counter, his green eyes following his mother closely. He knew the sound. It had happened before.

"I am sorry baby." She whispered to him, touching his cheek. He was still half-asleep, his little pajama's wrinkled and shifted to the right. Ziva fixed it, her hands still shaking. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her shaking. Finally, she got her body to calm down enough to smile half-heartedly.

"It's o-kay mommy." He said, his voice tired. Ziva sighed, kicking herself. She looked at herself in the mirror, but quickly turned away.

"Get back to bed honey." She whispered, and he jumped down. Before he left the bathroom, he pulled on her towel. She crouched down, kissing his forehead. He walked back to his room, saying good night as he went. Ziva made sure she could hear his door shut before turning back to the mirror.

Cursing, she threw her towel on the ground, storming back to her room. She plopped down onto her bed, not caring about her clothes being soaked. However, she then realized it would make a huge mess in her bed and she suddenly did care. She got up, taking off her clothes and changing. She then realized her bed was soaked in sweat, and she stripped the bed. She threw the disgusting sheets in the hamper, pulling new ones out of her closet. She also threw her pillow in there, grabbing another one out of the closet as well. When she had finished making her bed again, she sighed.

She got into the bed on the opposite side, lying as close to the edge as she could. She turned onto her back, sighing.

"Fuck." She said, sitting up. She threw her blankets off her, sitting up and screaming. She fell onto the floor, grabbing her head. Her head was splitting, her body was aching, and her heart was once again threatening to blow up.

She rolled into a ball, holding her knees as she cried herself to sleep on the floor.

A/N: This is pretty much going to have a lot of angst in it. I'm pretty sure of that.

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